Soft-hearted
The winter at Chenxiang Temple has a unique charm. Although the north wind is cold, it still retains a touch of warmth, gently falling on the temple. If it is not raining, the winter at Chenxiang Temple is lovely with its warm sunshine. However, once there is rain or snow, Chenxiang Temple turns into a cold block of iron.
After the rain, Chenxiang Temple was a mix of bright red and yellow, and the ground was shiny black, the marks left by many people kneeling and worshipping. Only the bells under the eaves swayed in the wind, echoing the chanting and producing a clear and melodious sound.
The incense burning in the incense burner was almost extinguished, and it was damp, as if it would also dampen one's wishes, leaving one empty-handed.
Jiang Yufan stood under the porch in the backyard, stretching out her hand to quietly feel the scent of the rain. Gu Sidu stood beside her, wanting to take off his cloak and cover Jiang Yufan with it. He did so, but was stopped by Daoyun.
Dao Yun coughed a few times, took out the cloak that Jiang Yufan usually wore, and covered Jiang Yufan with it.
Men and women should not touch each other. If Gu Sidu's clothes were draped over Jiang Yufan's body, then many mouths would start to gossip.
Daoyun disliked the Buddhist nun being talked about and becoming a joke in other people's mouths.
Gu Sidu realized his rudeness and said to Jiang Yufan, "Bodhisattva, you have been standing outside for a long time. You have just recovered from a serious illness, so you should go back. It would be bad if you caught a cold."
"It's alright, I've already taken my medicine."
Jiang Yufan stands here because her heart is in turmoil.
She refused the young monk's request; she offered no hope to Jiang Yaoguang's son, just as she had done before. It wasn't that she was saddened by Jiang Yaoguang's son's situation; she was simply worried that if the abbot found out, he might keep Jiang Yaoguang.
The abbot was soft-hearted; saving a life was better than building a seven-story pagoda. Even though the chances of survival were slim, saving someone was always better than not saving them.
If Jiang Yaoguang stays, she will always be in danger of seeing him again. She doesn't want to see Jiang Yaoguang, and she doesn't want to be involved with anything in the Jiang family, but she can never escape it.
"Gu Sidu," Jiang Yufan was in turmoil, she wanted an answer, "If it were you, would you have come to my rescue?"
"Me?" Gu Sidu thought for a moment, "I will save them. Bodhisattva, please don't be angry with my answer. I just think that one thing at a time, if it can accumulate some merit, why not do it?"
Jiang Yufan almost forgot that Gu Sidu was a kind person who could always find a way to justify himself, no matter what situation he was in.
Asking Gu Sidu is pointless.
“Of course, the Bodhisattva has his own reasons for not saving, and even if the Bodhisattva doesn’t save, it makes sense.” Gu Sidu knew that Jiang Yufan couldn’t do everything. Jiang Yufan was not a god, and it was impossible for him to save others from danger. This was understandable.
But only Gu Sidu understood.
No one else could possibly understand Jiang Yufan's feelings.
Jiang Yaoguang cannot.
Winter seemed to be against the Jiang family. Jiang Yaoguang still remembered that winter seven years ago, he and his wife knelt devoutly in Chenxiang Temple, praying for a son. At that time, he was willing to listen to any method as long as the Jiang family could have an heir.
He had consulted a fortune teller who predicted he would have a son. With this conviction, he went to the most popular temple, Chenxiang Temple. He believed that if he could move Heaven, his family would immediately be honored and he would have a son.
Although the child's journey was fraught with difficulties, the Bodhisattva ultimately showed his power.
He remembered that seven years ago, on a winter day, he was also refused entry when he knelt outside the main hall like this. He was not giving up; he could wait. He held his child in his arms, warming him to his heart, and prayed again and again. This time, just like before, the abbot soon came out of the main hall.
The compassionate abbot looked down and saw that the master and mistress of the Jiang family had tears on their faces and the child in their arms was dying and unconscious. He stepped forward and checked the child's breathing a few times. It was still not too late; the child could still be saved.
"Abbot, please save my child!" The mother cried out in desperation to save her son.
"Abbot, if you can save my son, I will give you anything you want." The father was so eager to save his son that he was willing to give up everything in exchange for his son's safety.
The child's forehead and cheeks were burning hot, but he looked calm as if he were just asleep. He was delirious with fever and had no idea of the danger he was in.
"Have you seen a doctor?" the abbot asked.
"We've seen doctors, and they all say there's nothing they can do to save the child. They've spent a lot of time trying to save him, but nothing has worked."
"We can only pray to Buddha for help. Look how young this child is, please save him!"
The abbot said nothing, but stroked the child's face twice. At this moment, the child seemed to be startled awake, coughed a few times, and then fell into a daze again.
"Pick me up and come with me."
These few words seemed to bring hope for life. A smile appeared on Jiang Yaoguang's face, a sign that things had taken a turn for the better. He said to his wife, "The abbot is willing to save people. The abbot is kind-hearted. It's truly a blessing from heaven. Before, some people went to ask the Bodhisattva, saying that the Bodhisattva was unwilling to protect them. This scared us. We thought we would have to go through the hardships of seven years ago."
"Considering that this child was obtained through prayer at Chenxiang Temple, and considering how much incense I've added to Chenxiang Temple to fulfill my vow, the gods and Buddhas should open their eyes and save my child."
Upon hearing this, the abbot paused for a moment, then continued forward without giving any further instructions to Jiang Yaoguang and his wife.
To walk from the main hall to the back courtyard, one must pass through a central hall, where the Four Heavenly Kings stand guard, all with fierce expressions. As Jiang Yaoguang's child passed through this hall, he trembled violently, foaming at the mouth, as if terrified. The loving mother raised her hand to cover the child's eyes, gently comforting him.
"It's alright, child, it's alright."
If one didn't know the background and history of the Jiang family, everyone would say that the Jiang couple were the most loving parents, for parents everywhere love their children dearly.
Jiang Yaoguang hadn't initially thought anything was wrong, but as he held his child, he felt a pair of eyes staring at him. Not the Four Heavenly Kings, but a gaze filled with icy coldness that sent chills down his spine.
He looked around, but saw nothing.
None of that matters. The important thing is that my child gets saved first. My child is the priority.
Jiang Yaoguang's intuition was correct. As he and the abbot crossed the threshold and headed towards the backyard, a pair of icy eyes appeared, filled with mockery. Jiang Yufan leaned against the beams of the corridor and lowered his gaze.
She had heard and seen everything Jiang Yaoguang said and the urgency he showed.
It turns out that Jiang Yaoguang wasn't incapable of loving his children or making sacrifices for them; he simply couldn't go to such lengths for Jiang Yufan. Jiang Yufan wasn't a man, and she was blocking his path to officialdom. Even if it was just a lie, the seeds of suspicion were sown, and the illusory would become the real.
Those were loves that Jiang Yufan briefly received, loves that have long since faded away.
Jiang Yufan coughed a few times; she had been standing outside for too long.
“Go back, Buddha Maiden,” Daoyun said with genuine concern. “When we get back, I’ll have someone make you some ginger soup.”
"Yes, it's time to go back. This is none of my business. I shouldn't have come here." Jiang Yufan shook her head, and when she looked up again, she had returned to her usual expression, without sadness or joy, without disappointment, without anything at all.
Gu Sidu stood beside Jiang Yufan at that moment. He had witnessed everything that had just happened. His expression was not joking; his heart was filled with mixed emotions. He was merely an observer, yet he felt heartbroken for Jiang Yufan. They were both from the Jiang family, but their fates were so different. Her parents abandoned her, inflicting the coldest pain in the world upon her, while giving all the warmth to Jiang Yufan's younger brother who came later.
No one can help but hate, no one can help but suffer.
Jiang Yufan spent eight years going through all of this.
Gu Sidu followed closely behind Jiang Yufan. In any case, since the abbot had taken in the Jiang family's children, there would be no immediate danger. In Gu Sidu's mind, the most important thing right now was Jiang Yufan.
The temple's backyard was quiet; the trees rustled past, only swaying slightly from inside the building. Jiang Yufan lit incense, turned around, and saw Gu Sidu still leaning against the door, not yet gone.
"There's a hundred taels on the table, take it and go."
“I don’t want money, Bodhisattva, you don’t need to worry about me so much,” Gu Sidu never cared how much he spent on Jiang Yufan. “Let me stay. You don’t look well, you seem to need me.”
Jiang Yufan laughed when she heard this. Gu Sidu was as glib and confident as ever. This time, Jiang Yufan didn't chase Gu Sidu away. She just gently fiddled with the incense in front of her, watching the ash fall down bit by bit.
“Gu Sidu,” Jiang Yufan asked curiously, “my parents both want to abandon me, and it seems like everyone who’s with me always ends up unlucky. Why do you always believe in me so firmly?”
"What's so good about me that makes you never want to give me up?"
“Because you are a good person, the kindest person in the world, why shouldn’t I come to your side?” Gu Sidu answered the question without much thought. He stood side by side with Jiang Yufan and grabbed Jiang Yufan’s hand that was about to fiddle with the incense ash. “You’ll get burned.”
The most precious thing in the world is kindness. Gu Sidu felt that Jiang Yufan was always tolerant of him. Even if he didn't like something, Jiang Yufan would agree to whatever Gu Sidu insisted on wanting.
"Then you've misjudged me. I'm the kind of person who holds grudges." Jiang Yufan tried to pull her hand away, but Gu Sidu held it tightly, and she had no strength to pull it away.
"That's not how it is. These are all the outward appearances of a Bodhisattva. If a Bodhisattva were truly a vengeful person, he wouldn't have gone to see Lord Jiang, nor would he be saddened by himself at this moment."
Jiang Yufan was soft-hearted and still thinking about that critically ill life.
Jiang Yufan felt her secret had been exposed. She didn't want to admit it, so she could only frantically try to pull her hand away. She was afraid that Gu Sidu would see through her heart again.
Even after this, Si Du still wouldn't let go, and after a few tugs, Jiang Yu Fan had no choice but to give up.
Gu Sidu's lips curled up. See, he wasn't wrong. Bodhisattvas are indeed soft-hearted. Bodhisattvas are the kindest and softest-hearted people in the world, the best Bodhisattvas.
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