Conclusion
The pain would stop once it reached a certain point. Jiang Yufan had a very long dream. She dreamed that she returned to the Jiang family and to the carefree days when she used to play hide-and-seek with the maids after finishing her studies.
She loved this game. The artificial hills in the Jiang family's mansion were scattered and unique, with hidden chambers within, her own hiding places. They seemed to have no way out, but only by stepping inside could one see the world within. She would often hide there for a whole day, and the little maids would never find her. Only when the little maids were truly panicked would she leisurely climb out, stand on the artificial hill, and smile at them: "Look, I'm here!"
"Oh dear, Miss, what if you fall? Get down quickly! If you suffer any injury, the master and madam will hold us responsible."
Jiang Yufan was once the beloved young lady of her family, but later...
Jiang Yufan dreamed of many chaotic memories: a rainy day, a cold door, and voices chanting like incantations that bound her, making her sit on a high platform, coldly radiating her compassion to please everyone.
She heard the anger in her heart, and heard herself holding prayer beads, questioning the abbot standing in front of her. She couldn't quell her anger, nor did she want to spend the rest of her life in Chenxiang Temple. She asked a question, and the abbot answered, but she couldn't understand any of the answers, nor did she care to understand them.
What Buddhist teachings, what truths? She just wanted to return to the life that was rightfully hers, to leave Chenxiang Temple, and to go back to the Jiang family. But she couldn't go back to the Jiang family; Chenxiang Temple had taken her in. There were still things she didn't understand. She heard someone call her out of these thoughts. She opened her eyes slightly and saw a beam of white light.
She was exhausted and her eyes were blinded by the bright light. She didn't want to open them, but someone was calling to her, telling her to wake up. Then she vaguely heard the abbot's voice. The abbot said to her, "Yu Fan, if there is anything you don't understand, I can answer it for you."
Jiang Yufan used all her strength to finally open her eyes. Everything around her slowly became clear in her eyes. She realized that she was in Chenxiang Temple, and only Chenxiang Temple could take her in.
Soon, a voice came from beside her: "She's awake, the Buddha has awakened."
Jiang Yufan looked towards the source of the sound. She saw Daoyun's face, smiled at him, and then saw Gu Sidu sitting on the bedside next to him.
"Lord Gu, what brings you here?" Jiang Yufan asked Gu Sidu, her strength failing.
“Buddha, you have no idea. If it weren’t for Lord Gu’s arrival, I wouldn’t have been able to protect you all by myself, and I wouldn’t be here with you now.” Dao Yun’s voice still trembled as she thought about it. She turned her head away to make herself look less haggard and disheveled, because she didn’t want to cry in front of the Buddha.
"What happened to me?" Jiang Yufan didn't remember what had happened. She only remembered being dragged by Jiang Yaoguang to see her younger brother. She didn't know if her brother had seen her. She tried to get up, but Daoyun quickly helped her up.
There was no abbot in the house; it turned out that everything just now was a dream. It seems she had been in a coma for a long time.
“What else happened?” Gu Sidu sighed. “The Bodhisattva told me you were alright, but you almost died on this last day. It seems I need to stay by the Bodhisattva’s side from now on, never leaving her side.”
"It's not that exaggerated," Jiang Yufan shook her head. She first heard Gu Sidu say, "The Jiang family doesn't care whether you live or die. They pressed on your wound, and you lost too much blood and fainted. Even so, Lord Jiang still won't let go. It seems like he wants you dead before he'll stop."
"Later, it was Lord Gu who pushed people aside and brought you back."
“It wasn’t just me; Daoyun also held you tightly, so that you could lie here and see us again,” Gu Sidu said. “I’ve already made it clear to the Jiang family that from now on you are you, you don’t have the blood of the Jiang family, and you have no relation to the Jiang family.”
"I made the decision for the Bodhisattva first, will the Bodhisattva blame me?"
Everything became clear. Jiang Yufan slowly understood what had happened when she fainted. Dao Yun protected her, and Gu Sidu arrived at the crucial moment, which saved her life and settled this grudge for her.
As they were talking, Daoyun brought over some tea. Jiang Yufan took it and drank a sip. Only then did Jiang Yufan slowly feel alive again, and her mind began to work. She finally understood the familiar Yin-Yang tea flavor in Gu Sidu's words.
She said, "It's okay, what you mean is what I mean. I've done what they asked me to do, and I don't need to see them again."
“Then Bodhisattva,” Gu Sidu said, “come with me to the Gu residence. I’m worried about you leaving Chenxiang Temple like this.”
Jiang Yufan looked at Daoyun. She could go wherever she wanted, and she hadn't returned the hundred taels of silver from Gu Sidu. She was fine with that, but she had to ask Daoyun's opinion.
"Buddha, don't look at me. I'll listen to whatever you say. I'll go wherever you go." Since this incident, Daoyun has become disillusioned with everything here. Chenxiang Temple is not a good place to go. On the contrary, Gu Sidu's home is the only place where he can live a peaceful life.
“Then it’s settled. I’ll come and take you back, Bodhisattva, when you’re feeling better,” Gu Sidu breathed a sigh of relief and finally smiled. “These past few days have been terrifying. I thought I was too late, but thankfully it’s never too late to meet the Bodhisattva.”
"By the way, Bodhisattva, there is something I can tell you to help you vent your anger. I came here with the abbot and saw how Lord Jiang treated you. The abbot also stopped him for you. At this moment, the Jiang family has already left Chenxiang Temple."
After listening, Jiang Yufan nodded and said, "I don't need to rest for a few more days. I can leave tomorrow."
"The reason you're still at Chenxiang Temple is because the abbot kept you there, saying he has some things to tell you," Daoyun asked. "Should I go and invite the abbot to tell him that you've woken up?"
"Alright, I'll go find someone to get some food first, you eat first, and then I'll go find the abbot." After all this fuss, they still haven't given the Buddhist nun anything to nourish her.
"Okay." Jiang Yufan nodded; she was indeed quite hungry.
Dao Yun got busy, but Gu Sidu remained seated in the room, showing no intention of leaving. Jiang Yufan glanced at him, and Gu Sidu also looked at her.
The two stared at each other for a while before Gu Sidu spoke up: "Does the Bodhisattva think I'm very handsome and is about to fall for me when she looks at me like that?"
Everything felt familiar, as if she had returned to the Gu residence, yet it also felt like a long time had passed—it was only a few months ago. Gu Sidu was still the same, still occasionally annoying. Jiang Yufan sighed helplessly; her smile alone was enough to draw Gu Sidu's constant attention.
"Bodhisattva, please don't use too much force. I'll stay here with you, and you can order me around as you please."
“I’m fine,” Jiang Yufan shook her head. “Didn’t you just become the head of the Hanlin Academy? How come you have so much free time?”
“I took a break. I was planning to come and pick you up to go home, so I’ve been busy these past few days and haven’t been able to see you. Otherwise, I would have come to see you every day.”
“Gu Sidu,” Jiang Yufan said, “at this moment, do you make me seem like a true bodhisattva?”
"Whether you believe or not is a matter of belief; if I believe you, then you are. If I don't believe you, even if you are a real bodhisattva, it won't make a difference." Gu Sidu had many fallacies, but every word he said made sense and was irrefutable.
Jiang Yufan raised an eyebrow and said nothing more. There is much suffering in the world. Some people choose to believe, while many others live well and don't need to believe in such things. Belief and disbelief are just a matter of a single thought, as are success and failure. Jiang Yufan had wondered before if she really had such abilities, and whether those human regrets could truly be resolved by her.
But now she understands that whether it was her doing or not is not important. What matters is that everyone believed in her, and that's why she has such divine power.
She has no regrets or debts to Chenxiang Temple over the years, and once she meets the abbot, she can finally put an end to it all.
After finishing her meal, Jiang Yufan got out of bed and took a few steps. She had the strength to hold her prayer beads and was dressed in a way that was presentable enough to meet the abbot.
After the abbot led the monks in reciting scriptures, he came over and, seeing Jiang Yufan's appearance, smiled at her and said, "The Buddhist nun is much better now and has survived this ordeal."
“Abbot,” Jiang Yufan said, bowing to him with her hands clasped together, “I will be leaving Chenxiang Temple tomorrow. I wonder if the abbot is willing, and I also wonder what the abbot wants to tell me.”
The stench of blood had dissipated from the room, and Chenxiang Temple returned to its tranquility. The newly lit incense calmed the mind. Gu Sidu went to pack his belongings, while Daoyun stood beside Jiang Yufan, watching Jiang Yufan and the abbot sit facing each other.
"I want to ask you, now that you've done everything you wanted to do and severed ties with the Jiang family, are you happy?"
Whether she was happy or not, it was all the same. Jiang Yufan stroked her prayer beads, unsure how to answer the abbot's question.
Jiang Yaoguang was demoted, and his son suffered. He was preoccupied with his own problems and it would take many years to regain his former glory. However, it wasn't entirely impossible for him to return to his position. Jiang Yaoguang was a man who didn't remember the kindness shown to him; he only wanted his own success and to be admired and respected by others. He undoubtedly harbored much hatred, and if given the opportunity for revenge, he would seize it and repay it tenfold.
At that time, who could say for sure whose fault it was?
The abbot wanted to ask whether Jiang Yufan would be truly happy if she got her wish, but this would also bring her trouble in the future, and if this continued to happen repeatedly.
Is it really possible to clearly explain whether you're happy or not?
It was hard to explain, and Jiang Yufan couldn't explain it at that moment. She lowered her head and remained silent for a long time. When she raised her head again, the abbot was still looking at her with gentle eyes.
"Abbot, do you mean I should let go?"
"I'm telling you to let go, will you let go?" the abbot asked again.
"No, no, if I could let go, none of this would have happened. Abbot, do you think I'm being foolish?" Jiang Yufan said with a bitter smile, knowing full well that revenge would only lead to more revenge, but still fighting against it all on her own.
“No,” the abbot shook his head, “this is not foolishness, this is the path you chose yourself.”
“Abbot,” Jiang Yufan asked the last question, “you have always told me to chant sutras and turn to Buddha. If I want to leave, where is Buddha?”
“The Buddha resides in the heart, not in the temple. Now you have become a person with Buddhist affinity, and you have fulfilled the prayers of many people. This is the result of your many years of good deeds at Chenxiang Temple. You may seem like someone without wisdom, but you happened to meet that monk and come to Chenxiang Temple. He said you have wisdom, and that is true. It is his karma, and it is also yours.”
"Buddha, as we part ways, I have said all I wanted to say. May you always be at peace and healthy, for that is the most precious thing. If one day you can understand what I have said and truly let go, I hope that we will have the chance to meet again then."
Jiang Yufan bowed to the abbot. Although she didn't quite understand the meaning of the abbot's words, she was still grateful to him. Without the abbot, she wouldn't be where she is today.
Perhaps one day she and the abbot will meet again; everything will be left to fate. At this moment, Jiang Yufan, having settled all worldly ties, is about to leave Chenxiang Temple.
Outside, the white snow reflected the mountains and rivers, and the rooftops. Jiang Yufan finished packing and went out. At the entrance of Chenxiang Temple, she saw Gu Sidu waiting for her.
After setting up the hot water bottle and the mink coat, Gu Sidu rubbed his hands together and looked at Jiang Yufan: "Bodhisattva, I've come to take you home."
Jiang Yufan smiled brightly and nodded, but when Gu Sidu reached out his hand, she pretended not to see it, ignored Gu Sidu's hand, and got into the carriage.
Having failed, Gu Sidu reluctantly withdrew his hand. At this moment, Daoyun, who was standing to the side holding his sword, said to Gu Sidu, "Lord Gu still has a long way to go."
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