famous
Without wisdom, one cannot help others, but if one relies on one's own strength, could one lend a hand? Jiang Yufan had such thoughts, but she was also conflicted and hesitant. It wasn't really her business, and she was afraid that she was meddling. She couldn't make up her mind.
Upon hearing Jiang Yufan's dilemma, Daoyun opened her eyes wide and looked at Jiang Yufan: "Buddha, can you communicate with spirits and sense the connection with gods and Buddhas?"
“No.” Jiang Yufan shook her head.
"Then how can you help Gu Sidu?"
Yes, she herself is a helpless person, how can she help? Jiang Yufan shook her head: "I just feel that Gu Sidu is a bit pitiful. Such a talented person cannot use his talents and can only vent his anger by writing poems. I don't know how he has survived these past two years. When he couldn't take it anymore, all he thought of was to beg the gods and Buddhas to help him."
"Buddha Maiden, are you...?" Dao Yun suddenly remembered something, and she leaned closer to look at Jiang Yu Fan, "Have you been tempted by worldly desires and bewitched by Gu Si Du's good looks?"
"What nonsense are you talking about?" Jiang Yufan said irritably.
Speak of the devil, and he appears. Just then, Gu Sidu's voice came from outside, cheerful and spirited, as if he were still a spirited young man.
"Bodhisattva, Daoyun, would you like some wine?" Gu Sidu stood at the door, shaking the wine in his hand.
“Look, Buddha, Gu Sidu doesn’t need anyone to comfort him at all. He can get better on his own. And he still has the audacity to come to you, Bodhisattva.”
"I think he just wants to pursue you."
Jiang Yufan gestured for silence, then looked up at Gu Sidu and asked, "Where did you get this wine?"
"Does the Bodhisattva remember the man who stopped my horse on the street earlier? He gave me a lot of things and insisted that I accept them. There's wine in here." Gu Sidu had already stepped in. He placed the wine on the table, showing an attitude of "live for today, for tomorrow we die."
But his alcohol tolerance...
Jiang Yufan said, "If you drink it elsewhere, it will cause an offense, since I only have Buddhist offerings here."
Jiang Yufan knew that Gu Sidu hadn't come just to drink; he must have something else to do. She took off her prayer beads, closed the scriptures she always carried, and then stood up.
Gu Sidu noticed that the corners of the scriptures on Jiang Yufan's desk were worn out from being flipped through, while the box of scriptures he had given him remained untouched. He smiled wryly, thinking that this Bodhisattva really didn't like scriptures. He would have to give him something else tomorrow.
Jiang Yufan followed Gu Sidu to a pavilion by the water to drink. Surrounded by water on three sides, it offered a cool respite, and no one could easily overhear their conversation. Gu Sidu poured Jiang Yufan a cup of wine before finally speaking.
"Bodhisattva, your words have come true."
Once Gu Sidu recovered from his injuries, he went to the Hanlin Academy. Sure enough, the list now included the person who had sent the gift. The list had already been submitted, and there was no chance to change it.
"I don't understand the intricacies of this situation. It turns out I was the one who jumped into the trap, sacrificed myself, and paved the way for others." Gu Sidu was utterly disappointed. Now he could only admit that the list was selected by him, and the person who was replaced could only suffer in silence.
Gu Sidu felt sorry for that person's talent, and this made him think of himself. With that thought, all he could do was drink a cup of wine.
"This world is too absurd. People will do anything to climb to a high position and have a smooth career."
Jiang Yufan had expected this. She snorted lightly, exhaled a few breaths, and drank her wine. She said calmly, "Is this absurd? There are many more absurd things in this world. People will abandon anything for the sake of promotion and wealth, even their own children."
Isn't she the abandoned daughter?
Gu Sidu realized that Jiang Yufan was talking about him. He looked at Jiang Yufan with concern: "Bodhisattva, you have also gone through a lot of hardships, but what that monk said is not credible. Have you thought about going back?"
I thought about it, why didn't I? I went back, why didn't I go back?
Jiang Yufan will always remember the cold rain and the tightly closed door that night. She finally managed to escape from Chenxiang Temple. Taking advantage of the darkness, when no one noticed, and when the monks had all returned to their rooms, she slipped away and fled with all her might.
She knew what she would face if she returned: kneeling before the Buddha all night, reciting scriptures and chanting sutras, without being given food. She was full of confidence, knowing that as long as she returned home, her parents would definitely take her in, and she could get away from Chenxiang Temple.
She didn't want to learn anything like chanting scriptures, kneeling for long periods, or having Buddha in her heart. She just wanted to grow up carefree, then obey her parents' wishes, get married, and live an ordinary life.
The rain initially came in only two or three drops, which merely moistened Jiang Yufan's body and mind, giving her the strength to run. She ran through the rain, her heart filled with joy, her steps light and quick. But when she reached her doorstep, she couldn't get anyone to open it.
"Open the door! It's me! I'm the eldest daughter of the Jiang family! Please let me in."
The servant of the Jiang family said, "Our Jiang family has never had any young ladies."
"How could that be? A monk once abandoned me to go to Chenxiang Temple. Have you all forgotten?"
"Ah, you're from Chenxiang Temple. You know that's a place of abandonment. Our master has ordered that the gates not be opened. Please go back."
“Go back? Go back where?” Jiang Yufan couldn’t believe her ears. “Does Father really not recognize me as his daughter? If he doesn’t, then I will break down this door and go to Father and Mother to ask them clearly whether this is their will.”
Even in despair, she wanted to completely give up on her parents.
She went through that door and came to her parents' door. Before she pushed the door open, she heard whispers inside.
“Sir, isn’t it too heartless to leave Yu Fan like that at the door? She is, after all, our daughter. Letting her come back won’t have any impact, will it?”
"No, we absolutely cannot let her come back. What if she affects my career? How can I face my ancestors?"
"But on a rainy day like this..."
“Listen to me carefully. It’s just a daughter. What good is a daughter? The important thing is to have a son. Only a son can bring honor to the family. Do you understand? Don’t mention it again.”
"The Jiang family has never had a daughter, nor has it ever had a Jiang Yufan."
On that rainy night, a thunderclap resounded across the sky, and a golden snake swayed and flashed across the sky. Jiang Yufan fell to the ground, and mud splattered all over her. Her hands sank into the mud and could never be cleaned again.
The rain that night was icy cold, but it was nothing compared to the chill in Jiang Yufan's heart.
After that night, Jiang Yufan wandered aimlessly, lost in thought. She didn't know how long she had been squatting at the entrance of the Jiang family's house. When her legs went numb, she walked a short distance by supporting herself against the wall and looked up, where she saw the lintel of Chenxiang Temple.
She actually returned to Chenxiang Temple. She used up her last bit of strength and fainted in front of the temple. She was not discovered by the monks until the next morning.
These past events are etched in Jiang Yufan's heart. She will remember them forever. She will never forgive or let go of this resentment. After that day, she will not recognize herself as a member of the Jiang family, nor will she have any relationship with anyone from the Jiang family.
Jiang Yufan is just Jiang Yufan, nothing more.
Jiang Yufan spoke of these things with a nonchalant air, but perhaps it was the wine that stirred his sorrow; the calmer the stories seemed, the more they resonated with Gu Sidu, prompting him to weep bitterly. He realized there were others in the world who shared his deepest sorrows, and he couldn't help but drink another cup of wine.
“Bodhisattva, I think you did the right thing. Your parents were heartless first. If you were still soft-hearted, wouldn’t you be a fool? But if you keep these emotions bottled up inside, you can’t get them out. Otherwise, I’ll think of a way for you.”
Jiang Yufan wanted to say that it was alright, that these things were in the past, and that she was no longer as grief-stricken as she had been back then. Unlike Gu Sidu, who was experiencing these sorrows, which were unavoidable and required her to write poems to express her sadness.
She doesn't need it anymore.
However, Gu Sidu's words immediately chilled Jiang Yufan's heart.
Gu Sidu said, "Bodhisattva, how about I write a poem for you? I'll help you express your feelings. I don't want your money; the poem will be a gift to you."
Dao Yun's face turned cold, and so did Jiang Yu Fan's.
Jiang Yufan was very generous and proper. She said, "Get lost."
How could a Bodhisattva utter such vulgar language? Gu Sidu felt wronged and stared at Jiang Yufan: "Really don't want it? If my poems can be exchanged for money someday, wouldn't you make money, Bodhisattva!"
The wine suddenly tasted bad, and Jiang Yufan called out to Daoyun in a low voice, "Lord Gu doesn't need us here anymore, Daoyun, let's go."
Jiang Yufan agreed with Daoyun; Gu Sidu didn't need help and could take care of herself. Even though Jiang Yufan knew Gu Sidu's actions and still didn't want to upset her, she tried to comfort her, but this method of comforting her was unnecessary.
Jiang Yufan had detached herself from those emotions, but Gu Sidu didn't forget to praise himself.
It was just a joke, and no one took it seriously at first. But a few days later, Gu Sidu came to Jiang Yufan's door again, knocking on it excitedly, and said to her, "Bodhisattva, I have good news to tell you!"
"What good news?" Jiang Yufan didn't expect any good news. It was just Gu Sidu's greeting. She didn't even look up.
But Gu Sidu said, "My poems have indeed been bought and exchanged for money."
Jiang Yufan paused in pouring tea, then looked up at Gu Sidu: "What did you say?"
"My talent has been recognized, someone bought my poems, and they are circulating in the streets and alleys! Bodhisattva, you are truly my lucky star. With you, my life is much better than before."
"I'm going to be famous!"
The tea overflowed and scalded Jiang Yufan's hand, causing her to cry out in pain.
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