Have a meal
Jiang Yufan felt somewhat nervous and afraid of that warmth.
She didn't know how to face Gu Sidu, how to face that selfless and passionate love, but Gu Sidu also told her that she didn't have to do anything, she just needed to follow her heart.
Before Jiang Yufan could figure out whether Gu Sidu was telling the truth, Gu Sidu said to her, "Bodhisattva, you should stay close to me now, don't stray too far from me."
"Isn't it supposed to be that I don't have to do anything?" Jiang Yufan thought to herself, but she still quickened her pace. Gu Sidu's enthusiasm was ultimately well-intentioned, and she was willing to listen. She came to relax, not to pick a fight or cause trouble.
Gu Sidu had already prepared a room. Daoyun went first and opened the door. Immediately, a warm current blew in, driving away the cold and harshness outside.
Gu Sidu explained, "When I went to get the clothes for the Bodhisattva, I instructed people to prepare the heater in the room so that you could feel the warmth when you arrived."
Gu Sidu had prepared everything in advance.
Daoyun was very satisfied with all of this. She said to Jiang Yufan, "Buddha's daughter, Lord Gu did a great job. Let's go inside and warm up quickly."
Today has been so eventful; I haven't even had a warm meal yet.
Gu Sidu selected a seat for Jiang Yufan and settled her down. He then said to Daoyun, "I have specially prepared a table for Miss Daoyun. It is right next to us. The food is served in the same portions. Miss Daoyun, please eat in peace. You have worked hard these days."
Dao Yun looked at Jiang Yu Fan, and Jiang Yu Fan nodded to him: "Sit down and eat. I don't need you to watch over me all the time."
Daoyun finally sat down with peace of mind, leaving everything here to Gu Sidu. She was also hungry and had been wanting to eat something warm to soothe her stomach. The food at Chenxiang Temple was simply not fit for human consumption; it was never enough to satisfy hunger, and she had to worry about it every day.
It would be better to leave Chenxiang Temple.
Jiang Yufan had already smelled the aroma on the table. She looked down and saw that the table was full of everything: sweet, spicy, and salty dishes, a mix of meat and vegetables, and even a variety of soups. It seemed that they didn't know what Jiang Yufan liked to eat, so they simply prepared everything.
This isn't Chenxiang Temple, where Jiang Yufan can eat anything.
“Bodhisattva, drink some soup to warm yourself up first,” Gu Sidu ladled out chicken soup for Jiang Yufan and handed it to her. “Does the Bodhisattva have any strength in her wrist? If not, I can feed the Bodhisattva.”
What kind of talk is this? Jiang Yufan only bled a little, which can be resolved by switching hands. She doesn't need anyone to feed her. Besides, Daoyun is here. How can she be intimate with Gu Sidu?
She was only slightly slow to react before Gu Sidu was about to pick up a spoon to feed Jiang Yufan. The fragrance emanating from Gu Sidu made Jiang Yufan immediately say, "No need, I can drink it myself."
It's really a bit scary; Gu Sidu is being far too proactive.
Jiang Yufan took the spoon from Gu Sidu's hand, thanked him softly, took a sip of the soup, and her knuckles gently brushed against Gu Sidu's palm. This brushing was incredibly powerful; Gu Sidu was completely mesmerized, his hand hovering in mid-air for a long time. His Bodhisattva had just touched him, and he was overjoyed. He wanted his Bodhisattva to touch him again.
He snapped out of his thoughts and realized that Jiang Yufan had already drunk half a bowl of soup, so there was no chance to touch it again. He would have to find another opportunity. Gu Sidu looked at the table to see if there were any dishes left to offer to the Bodhisattva.
Jiang Yufan drank half a bowl of soup and naturally felt refreshed, as if all the blood that had flowed away had returned to her body. Drinking soup before eating warmed her stomach, making the food easier to digest. Jiang Yufan wanted to see what food was available, but she saw Gu Sidu, who was frantically serving her food.
A variety of meats arrived in abundance. Whenever Jiang Yufan glanced at a dish, Gu Sidu's chopsticks would promptly pick up a piece and bring it to her, piling it up like a small mountain in her bowl, but Gu Sidu still didn't stop.
“Lord Gu,” Jiang Yufan said, “I only have one stomach.”
"I know, but I don't know what the Bodhisattva likes to eat. Otherwise, could the Bodhisattva please give me some guidance?"
Jiang Yufan picked up her chopsticks expressionlessly: "Lord Gu, I hope I can eat quietly by myself. If you want to take more food from my bowl, then this bowl is for you."
Gu Sidu immediately put down his chopsticks.
Jiang Yufan was very satisfied with Gu Sidu's actions. Only then did she begin to savor the delicious meal. She also looked at Gu Sidu carefully and saw that Gu Sidu had secretly remembered her preferences and regarded them as the most important things to her. She saw all of this and her lips unconsciously curled up.
Jiang Yufan knew that Gu Sidu was good to her, but she couldn't see her future clearly and didn't understand where she was going. She didn't dare to easily agree to anyone or make any promises. She could only ignore Gu Sidu's kindness and keep it in her heart.
She thought that once Gu Sidu's initial excitement wore off, he might stop treating her like that. She would leave everything to time to prove.
The room was filled with steam, while snowflakes swirled outside. Jiang Yufan, having finished her meal, put down her chopsticks and turned to look at the falling snow. She couldn't remember what time it was when she was looking out the window, not thinking about anything. It was as if her entire life had been shattered in two when she was eight years old—one half filled with beautiful memories, the other with painful recollections. The seasons were distinct, but in her eyes, they meant nothing.
Jiang Yufan got up and sat by the window. People came and went in the capital, everyone had somewhere to go and something to do. A child clapped his hands and laughed as he tripped and fell on the snow-covered road. The child's mother immediately came out and helped him up. Their laughter filled the street. The child's small hand held one of his mother's fingers as they walked step by step.
Besides footprints, there were also tire tracks on the road, but soon the flying snow gently covered them, quickly obscuring the traces completely, making it seem as if no one had ever been there. Many things in this world are like this. Unless the person who experienced it firsthand remembers it, things change and people change, and even the last evidence is erased. At that time, who can remember who ever came into this world?
If even heroes are like this, what about a nobody like Jiang Yufan?
Sitting by the window for a long time, Jiang Yufan's mind wandered. She couldn't help but think about being expelled from the Jiang family, having no family to rely on, and slowly being forgotten, becoming a lonely ghost in this world with nowhere to go. Before she could even think about what she would do in the future, a heavy garment pressed down on her shoulders.
Jiang Yufan snapped out of her thoughts and looked at the person who had draped a coat over her shoulders—it was Gu Sidu. Gu Sidu always came to her side whenever she needed someone to stand by her side.
She smiled slightly at Gu Sidu: "Has Lord Gu finished eating?"
"Seeing you've been standing here in the wind for so long, I was worried you'd get cold. I wondered what you were thinking about, so I came to keep you company." Gu Sidu sat down as well, looking at the scene outside. At this moment, every street was filled only with the sound of snow being suppressed, and there was no one in sight. If it weren't for a bird flying out of the window, perching on a branch, shaking the branch a few times, and causing the snow to fall, there would have been some sound.
There's not much to see here anymore; unless someone has something on their mind, no one would linger here for long.
Gu Sidu comforted Jiang Yufan, saying, "Bodhisattva, I have seen too much about your family these days, and I understand why you insisted on revenge back then. I can understand that, so you don't need to hide anything from me anymore."
"It's not good to keep things to yourself. You can tell me what's on your mind. I'm free anyway, so I'll just listen to your story."
Gu Sidu was still worried about Jiang Yufan. Jiang Yufan leaned against the window, a half-smile on her face, lost in thought. She thought that if she had met Gu Sidu a long, long time ago, having someone like him by her side would have brought her so much comfort. But life doesn't offer so many "what ifs." By the time Jiang Yufan met Gu Sidu, she no longer needed his comfort; everything had already settled, and it was too late.
She had recovered somewhat from that pain, and she always tried to tell herself not to care. She thought she had let go, but seeing anything related to the Jiang family still stirred lingering emotions within her, and her heart was still affected and tugged at.
At this moment, she didn't need any real comfort; she just wanted to talk to someone and calm down. She said, "Gu Sidu, don't you think I'm contradictory? I clearly want to mess with Jiang Yaoguang, make his life miserable, and make him hate me for the rest of his life, but I also agreed to help him and Madam Jiang, harming my own body in the process."
"There are some things I want to do well and be thorough about, but I find that I don't know if what I'm doing is right."
Perhaps she shouldn't have handed over the evidence she had compiled from her memory, causing Jiang Yaoguang pain. If she hadn't done that, none of the grudges would have existed, and she wouldn't have encountered all of this later.
Perhaps only if she accepts her fate and stops dwelling on the pain of the past can she find true liberation. Just as the abbot said, as long as she lets go, as long as she stops dwelling on those wounds, as long as she forgets her eight years of loneliness and grief, she can be free from these worries.
Trouble breeds more trouble, and this cycle of revenge continues endlessly.
But then again, Gu Sidu said, "No ordinary person would swallow such treatment from their own parents. Parents have children, and they favor the youngest child. It's heartbreaking. What the Bodhisattva did wasn't really revenge; it was just making things unpleasant. No one can condemn the Bodhisattva."
“A Bodhisattva should believe in himself, not care about others. As long as you do what you want to do, you have nothing to owe this world,” Gu Sidu said. He had been doing this for many years. Others might say he was stubborn and unreasonable, but only Gu Sidu knew how carefree and at ease he was.
"Believe in yourself?" Jiang Yufan murmured.
“Yes, believe in yourself,” Gu Sidu smiled brightly. “Life is short, just live it to the fullest.”
Only in this way, and only in this way.
Jiang Yufan suddenly realized that Gu Sidu was not the kind of person who would wallow in pain forever. He would seek enlightenment from Buddha and ask questions, and even if he did not get what he wanted, he would only be depressed for a few days. This happened repeatedly. He was not completely in pain, but he was able to find joy in the pain.
This time, it wasn't Jiang Yufan who ferried Gu Sidu across, but rather Gu Sidu who ferried Jiang Yufan across.
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