It rained heavily that day.
I dragged my suitcase out of the train station in a panic.
From Shanghai to Yushan, I have never taken such a long train in my life. The high-speed train takes seven hours, and my back and waist are sore.
Perhaps God also felt that the Han family’s crimes were unforgivable, so he punished me as well, so the weather has been very bad.
The person who came to pick me up didn't even bring me an umbrella. My first reaction was furious, but then I realized that I was no longer the high-ranking special assistant in Shanghai, and there was no Han family behind me to protect me from the wind and rain.
Until—Liu Xia held the umbrella over my head.
For the first time in my life, a woman took the initiative to hold an umbrella for me.
The umbrella blocked the torture of the drizzle on me. I didn’t have to get wet in the rain and it was indeed much more comfortable and not as cold.
It rained for several days in a row, so she couldn't burn paper for Qi Zijin. She could only bring sacrificial items every time she came.
The weather that day was strange. I hadn't said a few words to Liu Xia when the sun came out, and it was such a magnificent spectacle. My mood also relaxed a lot with the appearance of the golden sunlight.
That day, I also realized how clumsy I was. I couldn't even burn paper.
It was thanks to Liu Xia's help that I finally knew how to light a fire in such damp weather.
Later... my work in Yushan became smoother and smoother, and I had more and more interactions with Liu Xia and Liu Hun. I also understood why Qi Zijin liked to hang out with Liu Hun.
Because like Qi Zijin, I also like to interact with Liu Hun.
Liu Hun is kind-hearted, but also a little confused. Sometimes when he can't handle conflicts with some higher-ups, he will come to me for advice. Sometimes he will say a few angry words, and then talk to himself to comfort himself, which makes people laugh.
Working with Liu Hun is easy and pleasant, but I know that my attention is always drawn to another person from time to time.
Liu Xia.
A quiet and gentle woman.
When giving instructions or asking someone for something, he always speaks softly.
Liu Hun said that Liu Xia had attended a Peking Opera training class before, but later her family learned that it was difficult to find a job with Peking Opera skills, so she returned to school obediently.
No wonder.
Although she was born in the countryside, she had very good manners, even more dignified and polite than some celebrities in the imperial capital.
I don't know why I couldn't help but observe her, and even told her privately that she didn't have to call me "Director Han" so formally, and could call me "Lin Feng" like a friend.
Of course, I also lied to her. Only my family members call me "Linfeng".
Liu Xia still minds being addressed like that and avoids me. I can feel that she is deliberately distancing herself from me.
Actually, I really want to ask, was she so reserved when she and Qi Zijin first met?
Thinking back to when they met in front of Qi Zijin's tomb before, Liu Xia called him "Zijin".
There is a huge difference between "Director Han" and "Zi Jin" as soon as you hear them.
I also thought that it might be a bit immoral for me to have different feelings for Liu Xia.
Qi Zijin is my best friend, and Liu Xia is his girlfriend...
I am also very conflicted.
But thinking back, the dead are gone, and Liu Xia also has to consider her own future, and perhaps there will be another man involved.
Then why can't I be the one involved in her future?
But when I think about this, I feel like I'm falling back into my old habit of being self-righteous and self-deceiving.
Why do I feel that as long as I want, others must listen to me?
Maybe it's just my wishful thinking, and Liu Xia has no other thoughts about me.
Just like before, I didn’t love Yan Yi?, but I had to convince myself to love her.
I don’t know how Han Ji managed to convince himself to “love” someone he knew he didn’t love. Even though I had given myself many hints, I still couldn’t do it.
I tried my best to please her, to coax her, to pretend that I loved her, hoping to deceive her and then let her help me complete my grand blueprint.
But Yan Yi is also a smart person, she certainly knows what I really think.
She also knew that I didn't love her, Yan Yi?, but Yan Jianshe's daughter.
At that time, I was so confident and felt that I could control Yan Yi at the palm of my hand. But now facing Liu Xia, I no longer have the same confidence, or even arrogance as before.
Liu Xia can live a better life without me. On the contrary, if she and I are unclear, I will become a burden to her and bring her trouble.
This is not what I want to see.
Now, I no longer have to convince myself to "love" someone.
I also gradually understood why Han Ji pushed Ai Zhiyin and Han Haoxuan away, because it was out of instinct and there was no reason. He simply didn't want the other party to get hurt. That was all, there was no other purpose.
In order to fulfill my long-cherished wish of having a son, I came to Yushan.
Now, I am considering whether to stay in Yushan for Liu Xia.
But I was also deeply troubled. I was afraid that my actions would cause her a lot of trouble and disrupt her life.
I planned to tell her my feelings honestly, but Liu Xia was smarter than I thought. Having experienced all the joys and sorrows in life, she seemed to have noticed my "abnormality".
She said that someone like me who was flying in the sky should not be pulled down by someone like her, and then roll into the dust and get covered in mud.
And I want to say that at this moment, there is no longer any Han Chi flying in the sky.
There's really no real difference between people; we're all pretty much the same. It's class, family background, region, living environment, and means of production that separate us. So don't think I'm so great and deify me. You know, on the altar, there's not only the "god," but also the "sacrifice."
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