Volume 1: Zhuangtian Jinghong
**When Sanbao's urine splashed onto the bronze sword spirit's face, the system let out the most shrill scream since its birth.**
"Host! This is the 'Book of Hundred Poisons', not the 'Child-Raising Manual'!" The ball of light exploded into fireworks in Gu Jinghong's sea of consciousness. "I asked you to use boy's urine to make pills, but I didn't ask you to perform a human fountain on the spot!"
Gu Jinghong swung Sanbao by his short legs, and the pale golden liquid drew a perfect parabola in the air. "Stop talking nonsense. The scouts from the Northern Wolf Riders are only half an incense stick away. Do you want a perfect mission or an intact corpse?"
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## Section 1: Alchemy
Sibao suddenly grabbed her drooping hairband, startling jackdaws from the dense forest to the southeast. A flashing effect popped up on the system screen:
3 grams of Datura juice (collected)
The gecko has two broken tails (running away)
Xiantian Daoti Boy's Urine (Quadruplet Mixed Formula Recommended)
"Innate Dao Body?" She pinched Dabao's chubby feet and lifted them upside down. "Does this count as cheating?"
The silver-haired boy leaned in and sniffed the urinal, his nose stained with suspicious water droplets: "The purity is not enough, it needs to be catalyzed by emotions... Ouch!"
The moment the silver hairpin pierced the shadow, Erbao's purple eyes suddenly lit up, and the medicine furnace exploded with a burst of smoke. A gecko sunning itself on the windowsill fell stiffly to the ground, its tail automatically flying into the furnace.
"Congratulations to the host for achieving the hidden achievement: scaring the gecko to death." The system's tone was full of despair.
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## Section 2: Loose Sugar Killing
The sound of horse hooves thirty feet away suddenly stopped, and Gu Jinghong paused in throwing out the poison pill - seven pine nut candies rolled out of the furnace, and the fragrance was exactly the same as the token of love left by the hunter boy.
Sanbao suddenly turned the abacus, and the hexagram showed "very bad luck." Sibao drooled at the sugar pill, but the big sister slapped his paw away: "Can this thing poison a Yuanying stage cultivator?"
"Theoretically..." The system's light ball turned a guilty pink. "This system retrieved a medical paper from 2023 AD, which states that excessive sugar intake can lead to..."
Before he finished speaking, the bronze sword spirit appeared outside the courtyard wall, holding a sugar pill. When the black armored cavalry rushed into the farmhouse, they saw the silver-haired boy smiling sweetly: "My lord, I have given you a feast. I will kill you with blood~"
As the leading captain's armor exploded, Gu Jinghong finally saw the wolf-head totem tattooed on his heart—an exact replica of the arrow totem. The sword spirit licked his bloodied fingertips and muttered, "The hearts of the Northern Desert Royal Court's assassins are the color of coal balls."
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## Section 3: Child-rearing Strategies
"Warning! A Jindan-stage cultivator is detected approaching." The system suddenly switched to the news broadcast tone.
Dabao's tiger roar shook the dust off the beams, and Erbao's purple eyes reflected the silhouette of a person in the treetops ten miles away. Gu Jinghong picked up the urinal as a hidden weapon: "Start Plan B!"
"This system has no plan B!"
"Now I have it." She stuffed the quadruplets into the pickle jar, swung the chamber pot with her bronze sword, and threw it out the window. "Sanbao! Calculate a parabola for me!"
Abacus beads clattered as the clay pot accurately struck the treetops. The moment the lurking monk was drenched in the boy's urine, Erbao's poisonous pupils activated, and the man was instantly covered in mushrooms.
"Congratulations to the host for mastering the combo skill: Heavenly Rain and Poisonous Mushroom Feast." The system light screen exploded with fireworks effects.
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## Section 4: The Beginning of Reincarnation
When the smoke cleared, Sibao suddenly cried out into the southwest night sky. A phantom of a blue phoenix streaked across the sky, its wings shedding starlight, spelling out the bloody words: "Leave the haunted house!"
Gu Jinghong's hand, wiping the sword, suddenly stopped. In the bronze reflection, the cinnabar mole at the end of his eye was bleeding. The system screen flickered violently, and a garbled message popped up in the taskbar:
"Error! The world line has been reset 27 times."
The sword spirit's shadow suddenly solidified, its silver hair stained with frost. "Young Master, don't make the wrong choice this time..."
Before he could finish his words, the Sanbao abacus beads tumbled to the floor, and the hexagram indicating "great misfortune" turned into "dead end." Outside the window, the pine nut candy wrapper fluttered without a breeze, revealing faded words: "Wait for me three days - Ah Zhan"
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