Volume 1: Zhuangtian Jinghong
**When Sibao used the beacon tower as a slide, the veterans who had guarded the border for thirty years finally understood that the beacon smoke in Gujiazhuang was burning with a milky romance.**
"Report! The enemy is thirty miles from the battlefield!" The scout had barely finished his words when Erbao's poisonous burps had already caused fluorescent mushrooms to sprout from the command flag. "General! Their vanguard battalion is dancing to 'Drunken Butterfly'!"
Gu Jinghong stepped on Sibao, who was about to urinate on the crossbow cart: "This is called quantum resonance interference tactics - Sanbao! Don't use abacus beads to dismantle the catapult bearings!"
Section 1: Cute Baby's Daily Preparation
Morning light streamed over the village walls. The quadruplets were playing a "weapons masquerade" in the armory. Erbao's venomous eyes swept across the Mo Dao, and a code tattoo suddenly appeared on the blade: "if (enemy attack) {cute baby act cute} else {continue eating}."
"Strategy of War 1001—" Gu Jinghong picked up Dabao, who had hidden in the pile of food and hay, "Use a diaper instead of a lasso."
The bronze sword spirit floated by while chewing popping candy: "Young master, there are twenty-seven defense loopholes in the arrow tower in the northeast corner..." Before he finished speaking, Sibao's dragon horn slammed into the city wall, and the data stream condensed into the figure of the male protagonist - he was locked in a military laboratory, and the sand table behind him was marked [Four Emperors Tactical Experimental Field No. 27].
"Alert! Motherly love defense overload..." The system's electronic voice suddenly became lively: "Dear, the enemy's meal has been upgraded to a family bucket. It is recommended to use the Mengbao Happy Meal to fight~"
Section 2: Poisonous Milk Beacon Show
As the enemy forces approached, Sibao was using dragon horns to install LED strips on the beacon tower. Erbao's poisonous burp triggered a holographic projection:
- The wolf smoke condenses into a 3D distress image of the male protagonist
- War drum automatically plays the "Learn to Meow" BGM
- The rain of arrows twisted into a heart array in mid-air
- A Hello Kitty sticker popped out from the enemy commander's armor.
"Sanbao! Activate the Rainbow Defense Matrix!" Gu Jinghong stuffed Sibao into the slingshot. Sanbao's abacus beads exploded into a quantum state, reorganizing in mid-air into a Klein bottle—with twenty-eight enemy ships performing a square dance inside, their sails emblazoned with the words "Cleaner 27: Naval Combat Specialized."
Sibao suddenly gnaws through the slingshot, sending the diaper-wrapped stone projectile hurtling toward the enemy. Amidst the exploding rainbow dust, an encrypted document emerges: the protagonist's handwritten text reads, "Children are the Ultimate Weapon," dated 2023.02.27.
Section 3: Zhuangtian's Great Escape
"Master! A mysterious cave has been discovered in the southwest corner!" The village head screamed and rushed into the ancestral hall, his torch illuminating a startling scene.
- Genetic map of ancestral tablets
- Incense burner emits anti-gravity particles
- Sibao's dragon horn activates the quantum jump gate
- From deep within the cave, the male protagonist's voice recording came: "Hong'er, take the children to 2023..."
"Want to escape?" The bronze sword spirit tore through its disguise, and its mechanical arm grabbed at Sibao: "27th reincarnation data is being cleared—"
At the critical moment, Granny Chen rushed over with a jar of pickles: "Try my time-space pickles!" The acid corroded the time-space door to reveal the freezing chamber, and the embryo monitor inside the chamber showed the heartbeat curves of the quadruplets.
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1. **Burrow Code**: The warp portal frame is engraved with a binary code arranged like four baby teeth.
2. **Sauerkraut Secret**: Memory-Repairing Enzymes Detected in Pickle Juice
3. **Heartbeat Navigation**: Embryo Monitor Fluctuations Correspond to Interstellar Coordinates
4. **Doomsday Romance**: The aftermath of war condenses into the slogan "Bring your kids to save the world"
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