Volume 2: Beacon Fires and Smoke
"My fellow Daoist, your forehead is black, and you may be in danger of a bloody disaster." The white-robed immortal had just made a finger-pinching gesture when the system suddenly switched to electronic music mode: "Alert! Feudal superstition detected, initiating the poisonous tongue purification program—"
Sibao rode on the back of the bronze sword spirit and rocked the crane like a rocking car: "Grandpa, your wig is crooked!" The LED light tube on the crane's head flashed, spelling out the four big words "Bald Warning" in the night.
Section 1: Xiuxian Bumping into Porcelain Scene
The style of the martial arts field in the morning light suddenly changed:
- The Immortal Sword is inserted into the sand table and the Great Compassion Mantra is played.
- Fry an egg in the alchemy furnace using the Samadhi True Fire
- A "Scan the QR code to tell fortunes" QR code is attached to the crane's tail feathers
- Feijian navigation automatically switches to the evil map mode
"General, are you aware that our sect leader has reached the Tribulation Crossing stage?" the purple-robed elder began, when the system suddenly interrupted: "The Tribulation Crossing failure rate is 99.9%. We recommend purchasing a 20% discount voucher for the cemetery."
Sanbao's abacus beads suddenly formed a thunder tribulation model: "Uncle, the purity of your spiritual power is only 5.8%!" Sibao's dragon horn slammed into the alchemy furnace, and an interstellar scene emerged from the exploding sparks - the male protagonist was locked in a quantum laboratory, and the electronic screen displayed [Sibao's spiritual roots are being tested].
The bronze sword spirit floated by while chewing a talisman: "Young master, southeast..." Before he finished speaking, twenty-eight mechanical alchemy furnaces came out of nowhere, with "Cleaner No. 27·Specialized Cultivator" engraved on the furnace bodies.
Section 2: Scientific slap in the face
"Hey! Look at my Purple Sky Divine Thunder!" The immortal made a hand gesture to attract lightning, and Erbao's poisonous bottle suddenly sprayed a rainbow: "The main component of lightning is plasma, and its conductivity is affected by humidity. In the current environment, the conductivity efficiency is only 27%~"
Sanbao's abacus forms a physical formula barrage:
- Flying sword lift = air velocity 2 × wing area × 0.5
- Fasting principle = gastric acid pH regulation
- Mind scan ≈ brain wave detection
"Fellow Daoist, your sword-controlling posture is prone to lumbar disc herniation." The system suddenly displayed a holographic projection of the "Spine Care Guide." Sibao seized the opportunity to climb onto the sword. Dragon Horn's data stream cracked the control system: "Top speed 27km/h, not as good as a shared bike!"
The immortal was furious and tried to use his life-saving magic weapon, but was picked up by Dabao with a strange knife: "Uncle, there are instant noodle residues in your cauldron!" The body of the cauldron suddenly projected an interstellar picture - the hero's spiritual roots were being tested by twenty-seven instruments, and "2023.02.27 Experimental Record" was engraved on the bottom of the cauldron.
Section 3: Real Dimensionality Attack
"Do you know what the Way of Heaven is?" The elder's hair and beard stood up, and the system suddenly turned on the karaoke mode: "Love is a light ~ so green that it makes you panic ~" The entire martial arts field was dyed fluorescent green by the poisonous milk.
The quadruplets team up to launch scientific cultivation:
- Erbao's poisonous milk analysis: the spiritual energy components are CH?CH?OH
- Sanbao uses abacus beads to build a spiritual power circulation model
- Four Treasures Dragon Horn Projection "Five Years of Tribulation and Three Years of Simulation"
- Dabao installed a child safety seat on Feijian
"Spiritual root attribute detected: Naughty kid MAX!" The cultivator's spirit stone suddenly exploded, releasing twenty-seven rainbow candies. The mechanical alchemy furnace began playing "A Proposal to Reject Feudal Superstition," while the LED above the crane's head played "Trust in Science."
"The 27th Spiritual Root Experiment has failed..." A mechanical voice echoed as the elder's wig was corroded by the poisonous milk, revealing a barcode on his scalp: Cleaner No. 27, Cultivation Specialized Type. The four treasures lunged at the exploding Spirit Testing Stone—and interstellar footage revealed the hero being pursued by twenty-seven lightning tribulations.
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