I Rose From My Coffin, All Monsters Must Kneel

Duan Anluo, the founder of the Xuanmen sect and a peerless genius in the Xuanxue world, renowned at sixteen, mysteriously vanished at twenty-three, his fate unknown.

Five hundred years later, as the world experiences a spiritual revival and strange incidents occur everywhere, Duan Anluo awakens in a forbidden area.

His sect has fallen into decline; the very mountain gate where it once stood is now ruins, and even the plaque bestowed by the emperor has been sent to a museum as an antique.

The Xuanmen's sole remaining asset is a dilapidated folk shop: outside the Fifth Ring Road, covering only 100 square meters, with paper windows and severely peeling walls. Coupled with local legends, it has become a notorious haunted house.

The current sect master's spiritual power is weaker than that of a monkey he raised, and his talent is so poor he couldn't even lead a horse. He scores only 28 out of 120 on a math test, yet he dares to hang Duan Anluo's portrait on the wall, shamelessly begging his ancestor for blessings.

Even worse are the memories left by his original body. Within these memories, the original host, burdened with the most evil ancient bloodline, repeatedly defied destiny, only to be pushed by an invisible hand towards self-destruction. Ultimately, he was to have his soul extracted by the Son of Heaven's Dao, sealed within an Eight Trigrams Furnace, unable to live or die.

Duan Anluo thinks: "No big deal. Since the Dao of Heaven allowed me to be reborn, it proves my existence is heavenly logic!" The first thing he does after climbing out of the coffin is find the Son of Heaven's Dao, who is five years his junior, and slaps him awake, saying, "You brat, I'm your dad, call me Daddy."

Next, he hangs all his hundreds of grand-disciples on the wall. The tables have turned; from now on, he will make wishes to them. If they aren't effective, it must be bad Feng Shui where they are buried, so he'll dig them up and rebury them elsewhere.

He also plans to take in ten disciples to serve as grand-grandfathers to the young sect master and re-establish the sect, bringing glory back to Xuanmen!

Duan Anluo declares: "I rise from the coffin, and all demons and monsters must kneel!"

Blackboard Notice: This is a fictional setting! Fictional! Fictional! It has no relation to our world! I don't understand metaphysics, I'm just making it up; we must believe in science!