Chapter 540: Merry-Go-Round

Li Yue held his past self's hand.

She didn't answer her ten-year-old self's question.

Instead, he said softly, "Can I take you to ride the merry-go-round?"

Ten-year-old Li Yue looked at her with a dazed look.

Growing up, I have always been a sensitive person, prone to internal friction and a fragile heart.

Even if you don't say some things, I could guess most of them when I was a kid.

"Mom and Dad are divorced, right? They don't want me, right?"

Ten-year-old Li Yue lowered her head. This time she didn't cry, but looked confused.

"I thought my parents would like me if I did better in school, but even though I got first place in the exam, they still don't love me."

It turns out I am so bad.

Yes, even my own parents don’t want me.

Who will love me in the future?

Li Yue just held his childhood self's hand tightly.

She said: "Yes, Mom and Dad finally chose to divorce."

When she walked in with her report card, neither her father nor her mother even glanced at it.

Just let her go back to her room to do her homework and look after her sister.

It was raining heavily outside, and there were thunder and lightning in the sky.

But whether it's her father or her mother.

I never asked her if she got caught in the rain when she came back.

She was like a piece of trash that everyone hated. Even her closest parents were unwilling to choose her and hated her.

For ten-year-old Li Yue, not being chosen by his parents was terrible news.

But at the age of 30, Li Yue has experienced betrayal, separation and death, and knows that there is always a time for separation in the world.

Not everyone has a destiny with their parents.

Some people just have shallow ties with their relatives.

She held her ten-year-old self's hand tightly. "You can't change Dad's divorce. Now that it has happened, you have to hold on to what you can, right?"

Perhaps this is too profound for a child.

Then her voice became a little softer.

"Since Mom and Dad are not going to divorce, you have to ride the merry-go-round, right?"

She didn't think about mixing her feelings with her parents.

I also don't want to ask if they would consider her a little and not get divorced if divorce would make me become a rat living in the gutter.

She is already thirty years old this year.

I no longer expect my parents to think about me even a little bit.

After finally returning to the past, she didn't want to humiliate herself.

Ten-year-old Li Yue nodded, allowing himself to be led by his future self.

But when they arrived at the amusement park, she looked up at Li Yue and asked, "Why do you have to take me to ride the carousel today?"

Li Yue smiled, but tears welled up on her face, and she heard her voice was a little choked.

"Because if you don't go today, you won't have another chance in the future."

"You will be envious when you pass by the amusement park in the future."

When she was in love with her second boyfriend, she passed by an amusement park and suddenly grabbed his arm and asked him if he could take her in to ride the merry-go-round.

At that time, he just brushed her hand away lightly, frowning slightly: "That's something for children to play with. How old are you?"

"And there's no need for that. We're not children."

He felt that it was meaningless for an adult to spend fifteen dollars to ride a merry-go-round.

Not worth it.

Li Yue didn't say anything at that time, but suddenly lowered his eyes.

From then on, no matter who she passed by the amusement park with, she would never ask whether to go in.

It only costs fifteen bucks to ride the merry-go-round.

But she had never sat on it, either as a child or as an adult.

Even if I was jealous, I didn't dare to speak out.

She was afraid of hearing others say it was not worth it or that it was unnecessary.

But now, she held her ten-year-old self's hand, bent down, and touched her head.

She said, "I'm sorry you were alone and helpless before. I know you were scared and confused during that time."

"I also know that you've always wanted to go to the amusement park and have a good time."

She also knew that she had always envied those children who could come to the amusement park.

"I know that I can't replace mom and dad's place in your heart, but I don't want you to only envy others in the future."

She felt that what she said was a bit weird.

In the past, I would have thought it was whining and incomprehensible.

But my ten-year-old self simply clenched my own hands.

"I trust you."

"You are me, and I know you will protect me well."

Li Yue was in a trance for a moment, then smiled.

"Okay, thank you for trusting me."

She took her past self with her and tried all the attractions in the amusement park.

I bought a lot of things I wanted to eat when I was a kid.

Tired of walking around, my younger self sat on the steps, holding my face with my hands and looking at myself, "I thought you had grown up and would not stand by my side anymore."

Li Yue was stunned for a moment, "Why do you think so?"

Little Li Yue just held his face and looked at the stars in the sky.

It was also very strange. When I returned home, it was still raining and there were lightning and thunder in the sky.

But from the moment I walked out of the house, the sky seemed to suddenly clear up.

The road and stairs were dry and there was no sign of rain.

"When I asked your parents if they didn't want me and didn't love me, you didn't lie to me."

"But I'm actually afraid that you'll lie to me."

Li Yue also raised his head and glanced at the stars in the sky.

After Mr. and Mrs. Li divorced, she was awarded to Mr. Li.

But Mr. Li’s love for his children only lasts for three minutes.

Sometimes I get so moved that I suddenly feel like playing the role of a good father.

But most of the time, he is invisible.

At that time, he abandoned the ten-year-old Li Yue to the countryside.

They say that there are grandparents in the countryside who can take better care of her.

They also gave a nice excuse, saying that they were afraid that she wouldn't be able to accept her parents' divorce and her new mother.

Let her stay in the countryside for a while to adapt.

Once she gets used to it and accepts the fact that her parents are getting divorced, we will take her back.

But she stayed in the countryside for a very long time.

It was not until high school that I moved back to the city and became a boarding student.

During those years in the countryside, many people told her that her father loved her.

Tell her that her mother loves her.

But they always have their own difficulties as adults.

They asked her to be considerate of her parents, be a good and obedient child, and not to cause worry to her family.

But life during those years was just like drinking water, only you know whether it is hot or cold.

At that time, Li Yue was most afraid to ask his family for money.

Because as soon as she opened her mouth, whether it was her father or mother, they would look impatient on the other end of the phone and ask her why she wanted money again, what a vampire, and that they owed her money from their previous life.

At that time, Li Yue was also most afraid of the start of school.

Starting school means paying tuition.

And every time when it was time to pay tuition, she always received cold stares from many parties.

During that time, she was like a ball, being kicked back and forth by both her parents.

She felt no love.

But everyone says that her parents love her.

Tell her to be more sensible and more considerate of her parents.