Chapter 46
Perhaps it was because of the cold weather, or perhaps it was mealtime.
There were only a few people in Hecangyuan, mostly students who had just finished school; there were hardly any adults.
Jiang Li followed her slowly toward Hecangyuan. He noticed on the bus that she seemed a little absent-minded, and she was even more so now, almost bumping into a tree trunk without reacting.
Jiang Li grabbed her clothes and said irritably, "What are you thinking about, so engrossed?"
"Hmm?" Guan Nan stared at the tree trunk in front of her, blinked, and didn't tell the truth: "Jiang Li, why don't you want to go on stage?"
Jiang Li smiled upon hearing this, "Why isn't it that I don't want to sing?"
“No,” Guan Nan frowned and looked at him, “you’re not like that at all.”
Jiang Li: "What if it's me?"
"No, that's not it." Guan Nan was someone with an extremely keen awareness of people's emotions. She was merely changing the subject, and when she vaguely sensed something was off about his mood, she stopped him at the right moment, "Parent-teacher meeting is coming up soon, you—"
“Actually,” Jiang Li said casually, “I don’t have the passion for the stage that you imagine.”
This answer was unexpected. Guan Nan opened her mouth, but was too shocked to speak.
Jiang Li: "But I quite like music."
"..." Loving music but disliking the stage sounds contradictory. Guan Nan weakly uttered an "ah," "But you have a great charisma in Ting."
“It’s different.” Jiang Li smiled and tugged at her ponytail again.
When they dropped the person off at the foot of Building 26.
As luck would have it, he ran into Grandma Wang again, who smiled warmly at him.
He called out after Guan Nan, "Grandma Wang."
Grandma Wang smiled and nodded, taking his hand, "Cousin's here."
Jiang Li naturally agreed.
Guan Nan, the culprit, looked embarrassed as she listened.
"Have you eaten? If not, come over to my house for a bite to eat," Grandma Wang warmly invited him.
Jiang Li: "No need, I'll eat at home, thank you Grandma."
Before leaving, Jiang Li stood under the banyan tree in the grocery store, watching her walk with her head down under the pomegranate tree.
He said—
"Guan Nan, winter is coming."
......
Is winter coming?
Should I remind her to put on more clothes to keep warm?
But winter has already come, hasn't it?
I've been here for a long time.
When Guan Nan got home, she put down her schoolbag without much hesitation, picked up her change of clothes, and went into the bathroom.
Throughout the journey, she kept thinking that if she didn't want her girlish secret to be discovered or exposed, she had to keep her distance from Jiang Li.
At the very least, a suitable distance must be maintained so that the secret cannot be discovered.
A young girl's thoughts are a delicate poem.
Whether subtle or euphemistic, it is like a dream.
There was embarrassment, fear, and it was always so awkward.
They should be in their bright and vibrant teens, but they lack the boldness to face things head-on and with composure.
It's just because it's out of step with the times, and I feel guilty.
Jiang Li's line between joy and dislike is exceptionally clear. Once she learns that shameful secret, she will become the second Chen Mengjie.
This brings to mind the scene where Jiang Li turned pale at the mention of "Guan Nan".
The pool of spring water, which had just been stirring up a daze, was now unusually calm.
"Who she likes is her business, it has nothing to do with me."
The tone was impatient, stiff, and annoyed.
Guan Nan's heart skipped a beat, and she accidentally turned on the cold water, splashing it all over her face.
The cold water was biting in the winter, and she couldn't help but shiver.
The scene today is just like that day when we accidentally overheard a secret.
Same ending, same method.
The flow of water that day seemed to have already given her a reminder, reminding her not to covet what she shouldn't, and to always have a clear understanding of her own position.
Jiang Li's close relationship with her was also because she was "desireless" and clear-headed, and had no feelings for him whatsoever.
Suddenly, she became completely awake.
When faced with chaos, Guan Nan chose to write several exam papers in a row to calm herself down.
At this point, she knew what she should do next.
Even though it's the first stirrings of love, one must act decisively and cleanly.
......
On New Year's Day, she went to the hospital again.
But the pomegranate flowers had faded, so she couldn't make pomegranate jelly for her mother; she only cooked some sweet fermented rice soup with glutinous rice balls.
She added starch to the glutinous rice balls, making them look very thick. To be on the safe side, she cooked the rice balls very thinly. She sat in the living room, watching Ran Mingju finish eating them little by little.
The reception room was bright and airy, and the nurses were still guarding outside.
The dean sat beside her, telling her about Ran Mingju's current situation. Since her last visit, Ran Mingju had not exhibited any extreme behavior or emotions, and everything had been stable.
The dean across from him smiled gently, and beneath Guan Nan's calm demeanor, a sliver of hope arose.
She listened to many more stories. Ran Mingju kept the pomegranate flower she had brought in her pocket every day, taking it out to look at it from time to time, and even putting it under her pillow when she slept.
Guan Nan wiped the sweat from his palms on his trouser leg; in the end, emotion triumphed over reason.
She followed the headmistress outside, stood outside the glass door, and cautiously tentatively asked in a low voice, "Then, when can I go home?"
"You can do it now." The headmistress looked at her and smiled warmly.
Before Guan Nan could even feel happy, she heard the headmistress say, "We've carefully observed and tested her recently before we felt comfortable letting her go home with you."
Guan Nan looked at her but didn't reply, knowing there was more to come.
“However,” the headmistress said seriously, her gentle tone softening, “if you discover anything unusual about her, you must contact me immediately. Otherwise, if we don’t stop her, it could very well lead to some extreme behaviors.”
"Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Guan Nan nodded upon hearing this, "I understand."
“The formalities have been completed,” said the headmistress. “Actually, if you hadn’t come today, your uncle would have taken your mother home. But it’s okay. I just called him and he knows you’re coming and that you’ll be taking your mother home.”
Take her back, back to where Mom should be, back to Mom's home.
It is not in Hecangyuan, nor in Fuling.
After a pause, Guan Nan realized that what happened last time had angered her uncle, so she asked, "Did Uncle... say anything?"
The dean shook her head and said tactfully, "Even if you have business, you can't leave."
She stood there, watching the headmistress go in, and said something to Ran Mingju with a smile.
Ran Mingju looked outside, grinned, and put on her best performance.
No one knew the panic she had felt last time because of what the headmistress had said. It was as if she were walking in the dark, with everyone telling her there was light and a door ahead, but she kept bumping into walls and finding nothing in the end.
At this moment, an unbelievable joy enveloped her, telling her that there really was light and a door ahead. Only when she actually touched and saw them did she believe that the light and the door truly existed.
They stretched her path so long that she could barely see any hope.
I just wanted to tell her that everything can change for the better.
A turning point is now in front of her.
After completing the formalities, I took the discharge certificate and followed the hospital director out the gate.
They stood at the door, and the dean, holding Ran Mingju's hand, smiled and gave them a few words of advice, before finally patting Guan Nan on the shoulder.
They waved goodbye, and heard the headmistress say behind them:
"Don't come again."
Guan Nan walked silently forward with Ran Mingju by her arm. She didn't turn around when she heard A Jin's words because the headmistress had told them not to look back, that hope lay ahead, and that they shouldn't look back.
I'm not coming anymore, I'll never come again. It's all in the past.
They walked hand in hand down the long road, their eyes fixed on the "Kangning Mental Rehabilitation Hospital" as they passed by.
They no longer needed to familiarize themselves with the route, so instead of taking the bus, they took a taxi home.
Ran Mingju remained quiet throughout the journey, silently following her as she got out of the car and entered the park.
Sister Zhen, who works at the grocery store, wasn't at work. She spotted someone walking through the banyan tree, paused for a few seconds, then stumbled out and stood in front of Ran Mingju.
Guan Nan called out "Auntie," but she didn't respond.
Zhen Jie punched Ran Mingju on the shoulder, tears streaming down her face: "You scared me to death."
Seeing this, Ran Mingju smiled and awkwardly wiped away her tears with her sleeve, continuing to smile.
At the same time, Guan Nan, who had been tense the whole time, suddenly relaxed.
My emotions were inexplicably mixed and indescribable.
It wasn't until much later that she realized that those complex feelings were called...
—After hardship comes happiness.
Along with them, Qi Yang, who was warming himself by the fire and doing his homework inside the house, also smiled when he saw this scene.
"Aunt Ranran," Qi Yang called out, then reminded Zhen Jie, "Mom, tell Aunt Ranran to come inside and warm herself by the fire; it's too windy and cold outside."
Sister Zhen seemed to remember something only now, and she took Ran Mingju's hand: "Come on, let's go home and warm up by the fire."
As she spoke, she turned to Qi Yang and instructed him, "Go to the supermarket and buy more vegetables. Aunt Ranran is having dinner at our house tonight. She likes to eat mandarin fish, so buy her a fish and some dumplings. We're having dumplings instead of glutinous rice balls tonight. Guan, you're having dinner at Aunt's house tonight."
As she spoke, she led Ran Mingju towards the grocery store, leaving Guan Nan and Qi Yang outside.
Qi Yang said, "I'll go get the keys."
“I’ll come with you,” Guan Nan said, holding up the things in her hand. “I’ll put these things at home first and come down right away.”
The two went upstairs together and parted ways in the hallway.
Guan Nan opened the door and looked at her simply furnished and desolate home. Finally, she felt a little warmth at this moment. Perhaps it was the uncontrollable joy in her heart that made her feel the warmth of happiness again after several years.
After putting away the things she brought back from the yard, Guan Nan smiled from the bottom of her heart as she looked at the newly filled wardrobe.
January 1, 2016, is the start of the new year.
Today is a new day, and hope is just around the corner.
This day might be just an ordinary day for others.
But for Guan Nan, it was a day when hope and a bright future came hand in hand.
......
In the supermarket, Guan Nan followed Qi Yang.
The two pushed their cart around the seafood section, but since there were no mandarin fish left, they picked out a sea bass instead, which also had few bones. Passing by the fruit and vegetable section, they bought some greens as well.
"Would you like something to eat?" Qi Yang called out to her as the cart stopped in the snack area.
Guan Nan shook her head: "There's nothing I like."
“I remember you ate potato chips,” Qi Yang ignored her words and went into the snack section alone, grabbing a handful of chips. “We also have this chocolate cup, the Planet Cup, Octopus Cake, there’s Octopus Cake over there, wait for me.”
She used to have lots of snacks and would always share them with everyone she met. She wouldn't get angry if she didn't get any herself; she would just smile.
He quickly grabbed several packets of octopus cakes and other flavored cookies.
Soon, the cart was piled high with snacks. Guan Nan blinked hard, looking somewhat at a loss.
Qi Yang smiled and said, "It's on me today. Take whatever you want. I'm being generous, so it's rare for me to let you take advantage of me."
Hearing this, Guan Nan couldn't help but smile: "Thank you, brother."
Because they bought the wrong fish, the two of them got a lot of scolding, and Sister Zhen seemed very angry.
Ran Mingju sat to the side, watching with a smile as Zhen Jie punched Qi Yang twice and then criticized Guan Nan without any politeness, saying that the two of them were heartless.
Turning her head, Sister Zhen said to Ran Mingju, "These two kids really don't know how to do anything. I'll go buy some tomorrow. I'll steam the mandarin fish for you. You love my mandarin fish the most."
After going upstairs, Guan Nan and Qi Yang wanted to help out, but Zhen Jie refused.
Only Ran Mingju was pulled into the kitchen by her with a smile.
In the corridor, Guan Nan called out to him, "Brother Qi Yang."
Qi Yang turned around, staring straight at her with a gentle smile on his face, waiting for her to say what she would say next.
"Thank you all," Guan Nan said sincerely and earnestly.
"Don't be so formal," Qi Yang said with a smile. "We're all family, why thank you?"
Seeing that he was about to leave, Guan Nan lowered her eyes and pursed her lips, as if she had made up her mind: "Brother."
"Let's go home together during evening study sessions these next few days."
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