Chapter 47
The evening breeze was cold, like slaps landing on her face.
She didn't know what to say, what to do, or even whether her decision was right or wrong.
But she had to do it this way. She didn't want to become, without even realizing it, the person Jiang Li hated most someday.
Fortunately, her mother came back, and her focus shifted entirely to her studies and her mother.
She thought that perhaps her decision was the right one.
Isn't it said that she's only suited to playing alone? So whether Jiang Li is there or not doesn't really matter, since she's been doing this alone for so many years.
There's no need to be so dramatic.
Anyway, those girls' secret thoughts are something they can't be told to others.
Sooner or later, this day will come; it's just a matter of widening the distance and returning to the original closing position.
It's okay, it's okay, it's just that the day came a little earlier than usual.
Guan Nan tried her best to convince herself.
"Guan Guan, Yang Yang," Sister Zhen finished cooking, and as she always remembered, she opened the door and stood at the entrance of the building, calling out loudly, "Dinner's ready!"
This incredibly familiar feeling from his memory made Guan Nan momentarily stunned.
She turned around and looked across the empty stairwell. The distance, neither too long nor too short, seemed to hold the past that had never left, always there.
The past and the present are intertwined, making it difficult to distinguish between them.
For a fleeting moment, she seemed to see her younger self climbing the stairs.
Zhenjie took the biscuit from her hand, brushed the crumbs off her, and hugged her with a smile. She then patted Ran Mingju on the shoulder and said, "You naughty mother, you made Guanguan climb up by herself."
Ran Mingju smiled, held up the cookie that Guan Nan hadn't finished, and stuffed it into Zhen Jie's mouth: "Eat yours."
"Still so loud." Ran Mingju's voice came from the corridor, waking Guan Nan from her reverie. Only at this moment did she truly feel that her familiar mother had returned.
“Yes,” Sister Zhen patted her again, coquettish yet self-righteous, “I have a loudspeaker in my throat.”
"You didn't say anything yourself, but someone else went and shouted, and you complained that they were too loud."
"You're so annoying."
They entered the room as they talked.
The familiar environment and familiar people, but a sense of unfamiliarity that arose from within her made her timid.
Fortunately, that initial awkwardness faded away thanks to Sister Zhen's influence.
At the same time, Qi Yang strode up, carrying several bottles of drinks he had taken from the grocery store.
The two entered the room one after the other. Guan Nan, just like when they were children, was in charge of pouring drinks, while Qi Yang went to the kitchen to serve rice with bowls and chopsticks.
"In the shop—" Ran Mingju wanted to say something.
Sister Zhen asked her to sit down: "Why are you worrying so much? I told Yangyang to close the door. There aren't many people here today because it's a holiday. It's cold sitting there. You might as well come up here earlier to warm up."
Today, Qi's father went to the countryside for dinner, so it's just the four of them at this table.
I didn't hear anything at the table during the meal; it was mostly Sister Zhen talking, constantly telling Ran Mingju things that their children hadn't noticed. If you listened carefully, she was actually complaining about Hecangyuan and its changes.
Sister Zhen belittled herself, explaining various things and events in a simple way while also saying that she was slow to learn.
“I’m just a country bumpkin anyway, everyone dislikes me. You’re smart and learn things quickly, so you’ll be responsible for teaching me from now on.” Sister Zhen put a full bowl of food on Ran Mingju’s plate, all of which were her favorite dishes, and said it in a matter-of-fact tone, “If you don’t teach me, I won’t talk to you anymore.”
Ran Mingju: "How could I possibly learn that?"
"You have to learn even if you can't. Who will teach me if you don't learn?" As if she hadn't heard the bitterness and dejection in her voice, Sister Zhen instructed her, "You must learn it. The organization has given you a task, so you have to complete it. Don't make so many excuses."
Seeing that Ran Mingju had agreed, he then said that she was acting like a rogue.
Guan Nan finally breathed a sigh of relief.
The meal went more smoothly than I expected.
Before going to bed, Guan Nan habitually checked her messages and logged into QQ.
The messages showed that Jiang Li had sent her several messages. After hesitating for a few seconds, she couldn't resist clicking on them to take a look.
00:00
jiang: Happy New Year!
00:05
Jiang: [Asleep?]
00:23
Jiang: Goodnight.
11:57
jiang: [Empty?]
12:04
Jiang: [The glutinous rice balls weren't very tasty.]
Jiang: [What kind of filling do you eat?]
12:55
Jiang: [Is Liangxia (a type of cold noodle) open today?]
13:21
Jiang: [Shall we meet?]
17:01
Jiang: [I see you.]
17:52
Jiang: [Just kidding.]
From last night until now, he has been talking non-stop in the chat box, saying he hasn't received any response.
Mingming didn't know that this person, who seemed casual and easygoing, actually spoke very little.
Guan Nan stared at this information, looking at it over and over again until her eyes became sore and uncomfortable.
Perhaps she felt really guilty, because even though she had decided to distance herself from him, she couldn't help but want to respond.
I couldn't bear to leave him alone and wanted to give him a real response.
But it was she who persuaded her to give up hiding the secret.
After hesitating for a while, she replied on her phone, politely but firmly: "Happy New Year."
But that phrase, "I saw you," combined with the timing, gave Guan Nan a fleeting illusion that he was genuinely joking—provided she hadn't been standing in front of the grocery store and hadn't heard that almost hallucinatory sound.
—Guan Nan.
At the time, she looked around but saw no one, and thought it was just her imagination.
At this moment, her conclusion about her delusion began to waver.
Within minutes of her distraction, the other party replied quickly, as if they were constantly watching their phone and responding instantly.
Jiang: [I'm not very happy.]
Guan Nan bit her lip and typed, puzzled: 【Is it because the glutinous rice balls aren't tasty?】
He didn't reply immediately, and the conversation was visibly awkward. Guan Nan didn't know what to do. The thought of the cold water he poured on her last night made her feel like the knot in her heart had become inescapable.
After a moment's hesitation, Guan Nan carefully crafted her message and typed two words: "Goodnight."
Before she could even send the message, the other party had already replied, making it seem so inappropriate to send the words she was typing.
Jiang: [Yes.]
She stared blankly at the two words, not expecting that the other person was unhappy because the glutinous rice balls didn't taste good.
Guan Nan hesitated, then deleted the words "Goodnight." Remembering the dumplings she ate that night, she posted, "I can eat dumplings next time."
I thought that was about the time to say goodbye.
Unexpectedly, he didn't have a moment to spare this time and immediately asked, "Did you eat dumplings?"
Jiang: [What kind of filling is it?]
Guan Nan didn't hide anything from him and honestly said, "It's celery and pork filling."
Jiang: [Hawthorn and pork filling.]
Hawthorn and pork filling?
Guan Nan was stunned for two seconds before realizing that he knew what kind of filling his dumplings were and was telling her what kind of filling his glutinous rice balls were.
It's sour and salty, she's never had it before and doesn't quite understand the taste.
However, just looking at the text he sent through the screen made me feel suffocated for a moment.
Noticing she hadn't replied to messages for a while, the other person tentatively sent: 【Asleep?】
Going with the flow, Guan Nan immediately put down her phone, implying that she was already asleep and hadn't seen his message. Yes, she hadn't seen it, so there was no need to reply, no need for polite "thank you," "goodnight," or "goodbye."
She kept thinking about these random thoughts until late at night before she finally fell asleep.
......
In the blink of an eye, the school year is almost over.
This month is unusually free of the national civil service exam, and the final exams are scheduled for January 14th and 15th.
"Ah~" As soon as I arrived at the classroom early in the morning, I heard Yu Shu chatting with someone. He said excitedly, "Finally, finally, I don't have to take exams right after the holiday! Do you know how long I've been waiting for this day?!"
The boy at the next table joked with him, "By then, the flowers will have withered."
“No, no, no,” Yu Shu said, pointing his index finger and straightening his back. “I’ve been waiting for this for ages, until the heavens and earth crumble, until the seas dry up and the rocks crumble. Heaven and earth bear witness!”
He spoke very quickly, finishing his sentence in one breath, and then dramatically stretched out his arm.
The other boys teased him, "I thought you were going to say, cough cough—"
The man cleared his throat deliberately and, in a serious tone, imitated Yu Shu's voice when she was about to break down: "Ah~"
"Damn it!" Yu Shu was furious and embarrassed, so he grabbed the book and pretended to throw it at him.
The female classmate laughed and scolded him: "Aren't you disgusting!"
The tone of that voice gave me goosebumps.
"I, want, o, to, do—" The boy's imitation was weird and off-key, and his half-dead, half-alive antics made the whole class laugh so hard they almost went crazy.
Guan Nan couldn't help but laugh out loud, but perhaps because she had a lingering fear of this, she quickly suppressed her laughter.
At the same time, she didn't forget to look back at Yu Shu and see him walk over and put his arm around the boy's neck.
She subconsciously breathed a sigh of relief.
The students in the class are actually very lively and fun. Besides being dedicated to their studies, they can also take all sorts of jokes. However, many of them have typical characteristics of top students, such as not liking to be looked down upon, not liking to waste study time, and not liking to stand out or be the first to stick their necks out.
They are typical smart people who are good at weighing pros and cons, but not typical bookworms.
Never take the lead in things that are not beneficial, and always be the first to do things that are beneficial.
Guan Nan glanced at her deskmate who was practicing calligraphy, and when she put down her schoolbag and sat down, she felt a little uncomfortable.
"Is there anywhere to eat lunch?" Jiang Li suddenly asked.
Guan Nan flipped through a few pages of the book, paused when she heard his words, and then continued flipping through: "It should be in the off-campus cafeteria."
Today, Sister Zhen took the day off from work and took Ran Mingju with her, saying they wanted to go for a walk. They ate lunch outside and told her not to worry about them.
"Would you do me the honor?" Jiang Li glanced at his pen; it was out of ink. He switched to another pen and said unhurriedly, "I'll treat you to lunch."
"......"
Guan Nan was somewhat annoyed; she should have told him there was somewhere to eat.
But now, it's clearly too late to change her mind, since she wasn't on guard when he asked beforehand.
Guan Nan hesitated for a moment, "What do you want to eat?"
"Sweet rice balls with hawthorn and pork filling".
After listening, Guan Nan glanced at him and thought he was doing it on purpose: "...No need."
After she finished speaking, she felt that her words were not effective enough, so she added, "I don't like hawthorn and pork filling, nor do I like glutinous rice balls."
Her tone was so resolute and decisive that even she herself couldn't quite believe it.
It's like she's sulking.
"Just kidding," Jiang Li raised an eyebrow, noticing that she seemed a little off, but he didn't call her out on it directly. He said lazily, "That was my mom's experiment, and it wasn't very good."
Realizing he was just joking, Guan Nan retracted her slightly gleaming barbs and said in a muffled voice, "Oh."
Jiang Li tilted his head back, chuckled softly, and teased, "Disappointed that you didn't get to eat?"
Guan Nan choked for a moment, then pulled out the workbook that came with the textbook and replied calmly and peacefully, "I didn't even think about it, how could I be disappointed?"
The double entendre struck Jiang Li with a strange sting.
It's like talking about the Lantern Festival, but it's not just about the Lantern Festival.
He was getting a little annoyed, so he closed the calligraphy booklet, stared at the blackboard for a while, his handsome brows furrowed slightly as if he were thinking.
After a moment, Jiang Li said, "Guan Nan."
"......"
"We haven't seen each other for a day, have we?"
"......"
Did I do something wrong to upset you?
"......"
"Hmm?" Jiang Li looked at her seriously.
Guan Nan bit the pen tip and shook her head hesitantly, "No."
"Then why are you talking to me like that?" Jiang Li asked warily, not giving her a chance to retort, and pressed on, "Why do I feel like you didn't want to talk to me at all this morning?"
This was the first time since they met that he had been so direct and to the point when faced with a problem.
Suddenly, those gentlemanly manners were shut out of this space.
He just stared at her without blinking.
"......"
Guan Nan suddenly shut up, feeling guilty and falling silent.
Deep down, an indescribable joy was mixed with sadness, a complex mix that made it impossible to pinpoint exactly what was which.
She turned her head slightly and glanced at him quickly: "No."
It was quiet for a while.
She heard Jiang Li coldly reply, "Whatever."
The next second, Jiang Li looked away.
As soon as she finished speaking, Guan Nan's hand, which was gripping the pencil case, tightened instantly, and she silently moved her lips.
He wanted to say something, but like a deflated balloon, he didn't say a word.
She angered Jiang Li.
Wasn't she already expecting this outcome? Why was she still upset? Guan Nan cursed herself inwardly, thinking she was just being hypocritical.
However, when her preconceived notions actually came true, she still felt genuinely sad for him.
I feel sad that he doesn't deserve to know someone like me.
It's okay, she comforted herself. Sooner or later, this day was bound to come. As the ancients said, "It's better to die now than to die early or late." Wasn't she in the same situation right now?
She's just a little...sad.
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