Chapter 32 Who is getting beaten? Dazai, that's not surprising.
【
In this gloomy world, there is no day.
I kind of forgot where I came from and didn't know where I was going. I was trapped in the long night, just moving forward relentlessly, and then forward.
So, in this eternally dark hell, I met her.
That weird girl sitting alone in the deserted city.
Her name is Lilith.
…
Lilith took off her clothes in front of me, revealing her entire body.
Only now could I see her body clearly. It was an unusually white body with a flat chest that had feminine features. However, if it were treated as a man's, it would not be out of place. The legs were covered with a layer of shiny flesh, not revealing any bones, but due to the tight pantyhose, there were some intriguing red marks left. She exposed all her private parts above her thighs. A closer look revealed that there were no organs there, just a smooth surface.
I was extremely shocked, but she showed a soft and clean smile.
…
...As I got closer, I saw a light pink scar on her skin that was not very obvious and could even be easily overlooked. The scars were irregularly distributed all over her body, blooming with a strange beauty like fallen cherry blossoms on the snow, which made people want to abuse her uncontrollably.
The most terrifying thing is the sadistic attraction she symbolizes. She is so soft and unresisting that a strange magic is born. Even when I stood in front of her, I couldn't resist the desire to leave traces of my blood on this pure white painting. I tried so hard to control the thought of hurting her that I didn't intend to meet her gaze.
"You can do it."
She gave a clear and incredible smile:
"Pain is love."
She is such a madman, sinking in the vast love, tasting honey and knives every day, living a life worse than death.
"For me, love and pain are equal and go hand in hand. If you make me suffer, that means you love me."
She said:
"Please love me."
…
How do I identify the boundary between love and pain?
Beating is love, cheating is love, insulting is love, forcing is love.
Meeting is pain, being close is pain, flowers are pain, sunny days are pain.
Pain is a quick glance that leads to a liking for something, pain is a dinner that leads to a lingering craving. And loving yourself is the most painful and supreme torture.
Like a mermaid who has been given a pair of feet, every moment she walks on the edge of a knife is controlled by distorted emotions.
Loving the whole world, but being tortured by the whole world.
So, for Lilith, since she can't tell the difference, then should she just continue to love without discrimination with hope?
If I am a monster with no love and no pain, then Lilith is a poor person with too much love and too much pain.
Between me and her, who has a better life?
"Shall we each tell a story?"
She said:
"The next step after being honest with each other is to understand each other. After that, even if you don't love each other, you can fall in love with each other."
She took my hand and placed it over her belly.
"I love my mother, my sister, my father, my brother. To this day, this place still throbs with great happiness from time to time. Can you feel it? The slippery touch that cramps with pain?"
With a smile in her bright red eyes, she talked about her past.
Such a horrible past.
——Excerpt from the first section of "Pain and Love"
】
Since winter, Ryunosuke Akutagawa's health has been getting worse. His special abilities began to enter a period of steady growth, but his physical deficiency and repeated damage made his condition worse, and he almost fell into a vicious cycle.
His brain was cloudy due to the high fever and he could no longer use his special abilities. He could only hold his sister and survive in a corner. He suddenly thought, what is the point of living like this? How can a powerless person have the right to live?
There is no such thing as luck without reason, and nothing can be obtained without effort. The weak have no right to survive, and naivety is a disgusting privilege. You must have enough value to be able to survive as a human being.
At some point he was actually looking forward to the official arrival of an unknown person. At some moment, he would temporarily forget his worries about his sister, hoping that someone would see his value and take him away like a knife.
So he looked around the corner of the alley and met the gaze of a young man in a grey coat. The young man was dressed elegantly and looked pampered, and had a pair of gloomy eyes that looked like rolling black mud. The boy looked at him, smiled lightly and greeted him.
If you ask Ryunosuke Akutagawa what his first impression of Dazai Osamu was, he might remain silent for a long time and then awkwardly avoid the topic.
The answer is, pretty bad.
Even though he later acknowledged Dazai Osamu's abilities and recognized his personality charm, it was still difficult for him to say that Dazai Osamu was a good person.
Revealing darkness and sarcasm in the face of other people's suffering. Such arrogance, such contempt, such a painful look, and such an unbearable frivolous smile.
At this moment, the grief and anger in his heart almost overflowed, the pain in his bones and blood gnawed at his soul, and his teeth were clicking.
——Until the beautiful boot stepped in front of him.
"It's very hard." The boy said, "Do you want to live as a human being?"
"...What do you want me to pay?" His body was already on the verge of breaking point. Even the most stubborn and reckless person would be forced to calm down. His weakness emerged from his stubbornness, so he gasped weakly and asked coldly.
"There's nothing I can do. If you can't become more useful to me, then just die... You might have thought I would say something like that?" The cute curved eyes of the young man with brown-black curly hair revealed a smile that was hateful in the eyes of Akutagawa Ryunosuke.
"Thank you for your ability and talent. If you want to live a better life, keep working hard. If you want to be my favorite card, you have to work harder. You are too weak now."
He said:
Keep going until you have squeezed out everything you have and turned it into mud to fill up the ravines in Yokohama.
In the dark road ahead, looking at the calm yet dangerous and weird boy, Akutagawa Ryunosuke's vigilance suddenly calmed down. He exhaled the hot, foul breath caused by his fever and hugged his sister's small body tightly in his arms.
"No matter what, please don't hurt Yin."
"Ah, you don't need to worry about this. You are the only one who can help you."
Dazai tilted his head and complained quietly:
"To be honest, I don't know why Mu-kun suddenly wanted to take you back. It's really troublesome."
"...Thousands of curtains?"
——
Chigenmaku followed behind Nakahara Chuuya. His cell phone vibrated slightly. He picked it up and saw that it was a text message from Dazai Osamu.
【from Dazai:
Ryunosuke Akutagawa has been received and is receiving medical treatment. He will be sent to Leibo Street as planned in the evening.
ps: This is really too much, Mu-chan ~ these two kids are super troublesome! !
It turns out that he wasn't a newcomer who came to the shrine to do odd jobs!
That’s too much! I want compensation!
】
Nakahara Chuuya was leading the sheep children to bury the dead man.
The ignorant children didn't know what kind of determination Chuuya Nakahara had made. They had already provoked Chuuya once, and their animal-like instincts told them that it was best for them to obey his orders. Nakahara Chuuya used gravity to place the body into the pit and buried it hastily. Then he turned his head and scanned each child's face with his blue, slightly cold eyes.
Qian Jianmu stood at the outskirts of the crowd, leaning against a large piece of trash in the garbage dump, concentrating on replying to text messages. On the other side, he heard the voice of Nakahara Chuuya:
"Death is not something that can be played with."
He moved his lips, as if giving up something, and whispered:
"Don't do this again. We are orphans, but we are not assholes."
"...But that's not a big deal, Chuuya." Shirase endured and endured, and finally couldn't help it. He whispered in defense: "No one did it on purpose. Who knew he would walk in by himself? We have explained it several times. You would rather believe that person... than us?"
The contradiction is shifted, but the method is very, very crude.
Shirase tried to lock onto Sengenmaku at the edge of the crowd, but was met with a pair of strange eyes that seemed to be smiling but not smiling. This made his scalp tingle, and he felt as scared as if he was being stared at by some large and dangerous animal. He paused uncontrollably, forced himself to suppress the panic in his heart, and turned his head away.
"For the next month, no matter what happens, I will not leave this street."
Lowering his eyes, completely ignoring Shirase's words, Nakahara Chuuya smiled faintly, and his young face showed an unprecedented decisiveness and calmness:
"I want to protect this land and the homeless people, but if this power can only bring blood and disaster, then I am wrong, right?"
The azure eyes were exposed to the sunlight, and the owner smiled calmly:
"Let me think about it. If it's wrong, I have to correct it in time."
Regardless of whether they understood or not, the children standing at the mass grave fell silent.
Someone has changed, something has changed.
A bad premonition wrapped around their bodies, causing them to tremble uncontrollably and feel inexplicably cold all over.
——
He was forced to take two injections of antipyretic injections, and before his fever even subsided, Akutagawa Ryunosuke was thrown into the bathroom by Dazai Osamu with a look of disgust on his face, and was given a set of clothes that were a bit heavy for summer.
After he washed and changed, they left the slum almost overnight and headed towards Leibo Street. The three of them rushed to Leibo Street that night. The Akutagawa siblings, who had only eaten a little at that time, were already hungry and tired, and almost fainted.
"This is... Leibo Street...?"
Akutagawa had also heard of this huge slum, and he had considered whether to escape to Leibo Street. But, they were clearly taken away, but were they sent to another slum?
According to the address in the text message, they found a relatively complete residential area with several single-family houses hastily built together. A young man was leaning against the door of the house in the middle, smoking. It was obvious that he had been standing here for a long time, with many cigarette butts scattered around his feet. He swallowed the smoke, seemed to notice the sight, raised his head and glanced at him, but he accidentally took a breath and started coughing heart-wrenchingly.
Dazai Osamu showed a look of disgust.
"Ah, this is where you will be staying from now on."
Out of inexplicable disgust, he took two steps further away from the smoking delinquent boy and pushed the boy and girl over.
"Hey! That bad guy over there, this is something Qian Jianmu asked me to bring you."
Although he was coughing heart-wrenchingly and was in a very bad mood, Nakahara Chuuya did not lose his most basic observation ability. He calmed the dull pain in his chest and several crosses appeared above his head.
"Hey! What's that expression on your face? Who is the delinquent?!"
"Ah... You don't even breathe when smoking, so lame." Dazai Osamu talked loudly, saying bad things openly, and his expression of disgust was obvious. Zhong Yuanzhong couldn't help it and put out the cigarette in his hand.
"Asshole, if it wasn't for..." Nakahara Chuuya endured it again and again, and finally did not use force to persuade him for the sake of Qianjianmu. Just as he said this, he heard a voice and footsteps approaching from behind the door.
"Ah, is that Dazai?"
Chigenmaku stuck his head out, looked at Dazai, who was still trying to show his disgust, then looked at Nakahara Chuuya, who was staring at him and wanted to hit someone, and was silent for a moment.
…
"Chuuya, you can do it." He said to Chuuya.
Chuuya:! ! !
Dazai;! ! !
Accompanied by someone's exaggerated screams and the background sound of punches hitting flesh, Qian Jianmu pulled the two boys over. Both Akutagawa and his sister felt a little nervous and reserved in front of an old friend. After a short rest, Akutagawa felt a little more energetic and his eyes fell on him with a complicated expression.
"This is the territory of the 'Sheep' organization of Leibo Street. You won't starve, and the Central Committee will take care of you."
Qian Jianmu hesitated for a moment and continued:
"We will keep in touch later. I will ask Chuuya to bring you some books. During the days you are here, just listen to Chuuya alone."
He emphasized:
"Just listen to Chuuya alone."
They exchanged some information with each other, focusing on describing the current situation of the sheep. He looked at Akutagawa Ryunosuke with satisfaction as he frowned and fell into deep thought. By the time Dazai Osamu, who was beaten to a mess, and Nakahara Chuuya, who felt unhappy even after the fight, ran back with an indignant look on his face, Akutagawa had already changed his mindset.
Hey, are you ready, kids? It’s the great Ryunosuke Akutagawa! The workplace is about to be reorganized!
Don't underestimate the power of a stubborn person who is a bit rigid but too stubborn. Once he rushes out, ten horses can't pull him back!
Although this combination was made according to the intuitive judgment and human skills of this and previous lives, when he left with Dazai Osamu, who was pestering him and complaining, he saw Akutagawa Ryunosuke bowing to Nakahara Chuuya in a serious manner, which scared Chuuya. Qianjianmu inexplicably lit a row of candles for the children of the sheep.
Sure enough, just over a month later, Qian Jianmu received a call from Zhongyuan Chuuya. On the other end of the phone, his tone was inexplicably strange, and there was an ambiguous smile in his subtle punctuation.
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