-1-
P is dead.
Again.
-2-
The cause of death was being hit by a flowerpot.
The flowerpot with pink tulips is placed on the windowsill of the office.
-3-
About five minutes later, the owner of the flowerpot came running downstairs with a "bang bang bang".
Mr. P heard her humming "Castle in the Sky" as she walked down the stairs.
Seems very happy.
"Oh, I was wondering who it was, it's Xiao P again."
The other party came closer and greeted with some surprise:
"Little P really suits pink. Do you want me to order pink tulips for your funeral?"
...No, take out "as if".
She was just so happy.
-4-
Mr. P opened his eyes and said, "Allow me to refuse, Ms. M."
"This is the seventy-third time I've died unexpectedly in front of the office building. Could you please put the flower pot away?"
Miss M sat next to him with her knees hugged, smiling sweetly, and was reaching out to sprinkle flower petals on his face.
"Good evening, Little P——"
She blinked her eyes. "No, because this tulip has a sour fondness for Little P."
"Anyway, welcome back to the Horror Maintenance Department to work overtime tonight, Little P! The boss loves you too today!"
-5-
oh.
-6-
Mr. P slowly sat up from the ground and picked off the pink tulip petals on his head.
"No. Please give me overtime pay."
The blood flowing from his body had turned transparent, turning into a handful of crimson data points that dissipated in the air.
This is the case with all the [Death] here.
After all, they are all dead.
No blood, no violence, no pain.
In this system world, far from reality and belonging to the dead, it seems that one can obtain the peace that can never be found in reality...
"Oh, sorry, sorry~ There's no overtime pay for this overtime."
Miss M shook her finger, a sweet smile flickering among the pink petals. "But if you need it, Little P, I can sing 'Castle in the Sky' for you again as an extra accompaniment?"
"Happy overtime, Xiao P! Happy overtime, Xiao P!"
-7-
...But, there is M in this system world.
So, I don't know why.
Mr. P feels like he's living on the set of "Final Destination" every day.
A flower pot accidentally dropped, a truck accidentally hit, a microwave accidentally exploded...
Mr. P encounters an accident on average every day.
Then after every accident, his boss would run out happily, sing to him or throw flowers at him.
Like some cult ritual, or maybe a birthday celebration for him.
So he was very touched every day... and then refused.
-8-
"No, thank you."
Mr. P stood up straight and straightened his clothes which were messy when he was knocked to the ground by the flowerpot.
"And I've stressed this many times. Even if you don't actually die, it's still painful. Please take good care of your flower pot."
Miss M held her face in her hands and said, "This is sweet pain. This way, Little P will be impressed by me."
unnecessary.
Even if you really hold a knife, I will never be able to escape.
"You're my only colleague, my direct supervisor, and the head of the terrifying maintenance department. Even if you don't do anything, I'll still be impressed by you. ...So please don't burden me with my work, Ms. M."
-9-
Hearing this, Miss M, who was sitting on the ground, blinked again and looked up at him.
After a while, she burst into laughter, her shoulders shaking with the laughter, and her long, straight black hair swaying slightly behind her head.
The appearance of employees in the system world will be frozen at the most important time point in their lives. For most people, this time point is often death.
But all employees tacitly agreed that M's appearance had nothing to do with her age at death. Because... it was too inconsistent.
With extremely classic long straight black hair, neat bangs, and pure and innocent black eyes, everyone who sees M for the first time will think she is a herbivorous high school girl who accidentally got lost.
...instead of being a psychopath who can whip out a sickle and make a kebab set for his colleague the next second.
After being mistaken for a herbivore high school girl for the umpteenth time, being lewdly praised as "suitable to be a good wife and mother" and "a true Yamato Nadeshiko," and being approached numerous times with the question "Want to go somewhere fun?", Miss M even began to collect school uniforms with great interest.
So every time she wore JK to work, Mr. P had to face a bloody storm.
-10-
Because there will be many people coming to chat with her.
Then everyone who comes to chat up will have an accident.
...and then push all the complaints to Mr. P for handling.
-11-
After all, not every employee is used to dying. In this world, the pain of death is still so real and will not disappear.
Mr. P was the only one who encountered accidents every day, and the only one who never complained to the main system about his boss's behavior. Every time he woke up, he would at most offer a few words of criticism.
...Anyway, he is the one who handles every complaint against M, so why should he add to his own workload?
-12-
That’s why I like Little P so much, Miss M thought with a happy smile, because he always chooses to indulge.
Even when facing death, they will choose to indulge.
If even death doesn't matter... where exactly is Xiao P's bottom line, hehehe...
If you can break his bottom line, something very, very interesting will happen.
Ah, of course, the way little P died unexpectedly was really cute too!
…How about trying white tulips tomorrow?
-13-
Mr. P had no idea what his boss was thinking.
What to do if your immediate supervisor is a sociopath—nothing to do.
You can't persuade her, you can't beat her, you can't be more crazy than her, and he is her only subordinate who partners with her on missions. What else can you do?
This is Mr. P's 49th year as a system employee and also his 49th year as Ms. M's only subordinate.
During their long time working together, he had already accepted Miss M's epileptic seizures well, maintained a stable mentality, and understood them very well.
...although recently the focus of this madness has shifted to frequent sexual harassment of him personally.
"Little P, little P, you're so cute! Come on, give me a kiss~"
-14-
Honestly, he didn't understand.
-15-
"I have to work overtime, Miss M. If you don't need to work overtime, you can go back first."
Mr. P picked up his luggage that was accidentally scattered on the ground (when he just died) and walked towards the locker room in the department office building.
"...How cold, Xiao P, you haven't even praised me for the welcome ceremony I prepared for so long..."
Everyday accidents, right?
Mr. P: “Thank you, bye.”
“…”
The smile on Miss M's face disappeared.
Mr. P paused.
Because he heard the "click" sound of a utility knife sliding behind him.
Along with the sound of a utility knife, a faint voice rang out from the back: "Really, Xiao P? You're not going to praise me?"
-16-
Mr. P immediately said, "Thank you for your 'Castle in the Sky'. It was very beautiful. The welcome ceremony was also very smooth. It is an honor for me to be valued so much by you."
"——Why didn't you say so earlier, little P!"
The sound of the box cutter in the back immediately died down, and the boss smiled brightly again. "I knew you'd like it! Okay, work overtime, and I'll prepare a better ceremony to welcome you tomorrow!"
"...Okay. As long as you're happy."
-17-
After finally sending his boss away, Mr. P walked into the locker room and leaned his luggage—surfboard, sun hat and backpack—on the bench.
It is now eleven o'clock in the evening system time. After receiving the emergency overtime notice, he temporarily gave up his vacation and came back. His vacation supplies are still in his hands and he has no time to go home to put them away.
Anyway, there are not many people in their department, and the boss personally agreed to give him the exclusive use of the locker room.
——After all, all of Miss M’s personal belongings were stuffed in his office, even her nail polish was squeezed next to the stapler on his desk.
-18-
No reason, just another crazy move by the boss.
She even placed a small refrigerator in his office. As his subordinate, Mr. P was responsible for regularly restocking it with facial masks and newly launched ice creams.
He used his own salary card and his boss never reimbursed him.
-19-
boss.
M.
…all they do is spend his money, interrupt his vacation, and increase his workload… We've worked together for 49 years and still don't have any love from colleagues…that's fine…
Recently, it has become more and more excessive... Did she use the words "kiss" and "love" all the time in the past?
...a bit troubled.
Sure enough, I should have rejected her proposal that day.
Mr. P touched his eyes.
That’s right.
The cause of death was hemorrhagic shock.
Thinking of this, P put away his personal belongings and walked to the sink to check his instruments.
...Huh, luckily, there is still no blood this time.
They all turned into data points and were absorbed by the system.
But after a moment, he still turned on the faucet and washed his hands carefully.
She turned her face to the side again, took off her earrings and ear bone studs one by one, and lowered her head to brush off the fine sand on her golden hair.
-20-
The earrings, which are a bit too many for the average man, are put aside.
The man in the mirror had pure blond hair and blue eyes like the sunny shallow sea. The way he lowered his head and shook the sand looked more harmless than the gentlest golden retriever.
"I thought your leave would be longer."
P paused and looked at M in the mirror.
She leaned against the door of the dressing room with her arms folded, a half-smile on her face.
"This is my dressing room, Miss M."
"Tsk, is there anything else you have that I haven't seen?"
Mr. P lowered his eyes: "Ms. M, this is working hours."
-twenty one-
boring.
-twenty two-
M waved his hand. "As your boss, I know you always spend a lot of time washing your hands and removing your earrings before changing in the department locker room, so barging in now won't be a problem... That's a good excuse, right? You have so many quirks."
P stopped talking and continued to brush the sand off his hair.
"Come to think of it, Little P, I remember granting you a special ten-day vacation... and that was Resort World 009, which is only open to the main system and only the top ten on the leaderboard are eligible to visit... Haven't you been looking forward to visiting that world's seaside area for a long time?"
"My vacation has been long enough."
P removed the earring from his other ear and said softly, "It was over when you showed up on the beach and kicked down my sand castle."
"Really?" M giggled again, "Because my new bikini blinded you?"
-twenty three-
The earrings were placed by the pool, making a slight sound when they fell.
"No. It's because you kicked my sandcastle. It took me three hours to build a ten-story, luxurious sandcastle with a slide garden and a music bar."
“…”
He sounded like he really cared about that sand castle.
M scratched his head. "I know. I'll compensate you with another... a real, ten-story, luxurious villa with a slide, a garden, and a music bar. How about that?"
Mr. P nodded. "That's fine, Ms. M. But you are not allowed to use my payroll card."
"Hey - why is this happening - you said I could just use your payroll card to buy things!"
"No, I didn't. You were the one who demanded my wages directly, starting forty years ago."
"Xiao P, you scumbag! Do you want me to spend someone else's salary card?"
“Just spend your own money.”
"Wow... I'm so sad... I'm so sad that I want to collapse to the ground... The floor is so cold, wow, I felt uncomfortable when I sat on the ground just now..."
Miss M was actually just pretending because she was in a drama mood. She leaned against the door without moving from beginning to end, only her tone of voice changed vividly.
Mr. P frowned.
It was the first time since his accidental death that his gentle and calm expression showed any sign of fluctuation.
-twenty four-
"Of course the floor in the office building is cold. The main system recently changed the background season to winter. You should think twice before choosing to sit on the floor. Next time you play a prank, try choosing a place with heating."
Ms. M curled her lips. "But I just wanted to see you as soon as Xiao P joined the department. You were on vacation for ten days. ... I violated the rules and went to see you, but the main system assigned me a task a few hours later... Xiao P didn't contact me for ten days."
-25-
Mr. P turned his head, his blue eyes still light and harmless.
"Of course, otherwise, would you want to hang out on the beach for ten days in a bikini like that?"
He said calmly, "I was planning on building sandcastles and surfing on vacation, not locking you in my hotel room. Even if it was meant to be a provocation, that bikini is outrageous."
-26-
oh.
……oh?
Miss M raised an eyebrow: "Jealous?"
——But she did not hear her subordinate's answer to this question.
-27-
“Bang, bang, bang—bang!!”
There were several loud noises in the locker room, and a cloud of fine, thick, messy black hair spurted out of Mr. P's closet, and the entire door was knocked open.
The hair swamped his clothes hangers and uniforms, taking up his entire wardrobe like oil bubbling from the ground.
Then, this large mass of hair began to ooze out a transparent gelatinous liquid, gurgling and wriggling in the cabinet, and three bluish-white eyeballs slowly appeared among the black hair.
The eyeballs moved and stared at Mr. P with a gurgling sound.
-28-
Mr. P stared back in silence, but he was mainly staring at the work uniform that was buried in his eyes and hair.
Now all he could think about was his soiled work uniform.
-29-
"Hello……"
After a moment, the eyeball—or rather, the monster composed of black hair and eyeballs whispered:
"Excuse me, is this the Horror Maintenance Department? I want to report a problem... There's something wrong with my world..."
It's the customer.
“Just fill out the application form to report a repair.”
Mr. P smiled brightly. "Or, please go through the customer channel and submit your login request. This is the private locker in the employee dressing room. We don't offer reception services. We're very sorry."
"Oh...I'm sorry..."
It turned its three eyeballs, which were only covered with white membranes, in a wronged manner, and then shrank back with a gurgling sound.
Mr. P watched the guest leave with a smile. The area in the closet where the guest had crawled was covered with sticky transparent liquid and residual hair.
-30-
"Guest. Wait."
The guest's indescribable back trembled, and he vomited out a large ball of hair.
“S-Sorry…”
"You dropped an eyeball in my coat hanger. Here—for you. It got stuck. Let me put it back in place for you."
Mr. P reached out and placed the eyeball into the hair ball, and carefully adjusted the position so that the three eyeballs formed a triangular symmetry.
The monster was flattered, and a trace of shyness appeared in his pale eyes: "...Oh...Thank you..."
"You're welcome. The reception room is on the third floor, the first one on the left when you go upstairs."
-31-
The guests left completely, and Mr. P kept smiling and continued to look at his wardrobe full of black hair and mucus.
Miss M at the door was also silent for a long time.
After a while, she said, "This is too much, Xiao P. I took photos as evidence right away and will send them to the main system."
Mr. P was a little surprised because Miss M sounded really angry at this time.
Miss M is not usually angry because she likes to attack anyone who may trigger her anger.
He persuaded her gently, "That's not necessary, Ms. M. He's just a customer who found the wrong entrance. It's his first time in the maintenance department and he's too flustered. Just help me apply for a new wardrobe."
"I actually put a huge amount of hair in Xiao P's personal closet before I went there! I was planning to do this prank on Crazy Thursday! Damn it, damn it, damn it - unforgivable!"
“…”
-32-
No.
Please don't do anything with my personal wardrobe.
And please don't ruin my crazy Thursday.
-33-
"Hold on, Little P. The main system just replied to me... Tsk, it approved a new wardrobe for you. It also forbade me from storing large amounts of hair in your wardrobe. It also issued a new rule: 'No entering a subordinate's personal wardrobe to do anything disgusting.' Sooner or later, I'm going to cut off its data flow."
Thank you, Master System.
Because of you, the workplace is so warm.
-34-
Mr. P closed the door and decided not to change his uniform. He'd rather have a few specks of sand hanging from his clothes than show up in front of customers covered in hair and slime.
"Enough of the small talk, Ms. M. Please put on your uniform. We have a client. The one just now seemed to be a high-ranking boss from Small World 109. I'm not qualified to receive him. You must go to the reception room."
Miss M sighed deeply, but at the same time, she jumped lightly and stretched her arms toward the ceiling.
Mr. P knew that this was a sign of her happiness.
M hated boredom the most and harassed him just to avoid being bored, and a new client would never make her bored.
-35-
If there were no fun brought by new customers, Miss M would not stay in the system world, going to get off work and living an ordinary employee's daily life like me.
Being dead is not being dead, and being alive is not being alive.
Mr. P couldn't help but think: maybe destroying the main system wouldn't be a problem for her.
-36-
...As expected, we still have to try our best to persuade Miss M and keep this antisocial lunatic stable. The main system cannot be destroyed.
Under the oppression of a resentful boss, the main system is the only warmth in the workplace.
-37-
About forty minutes later, Miss M came out of the reception room.
Mr. P was already sitting behind his desk processing documents; too many complaints had piled up while he was on leave.
...Why was Ms. M able to generate so many complaints in just ten days? Why did she drive a truck and crush the leave system's mainframe on my first day off, and why did she come back with a chainsaw on my last day off?
Do mentally ill people have broad thinking?
"Xiao P, operate the maintenance task system."
The boss knocked on his desk and said, "The client has uploaded the bug information for World 109. I need to go and handle it."
"OK."
Mr. P pulled out a large piece of data from mid-air. A crimson light flashed rapidly, and his eyes moved quickly. "Information entered. Please wait while I locate the optimal placement point on this small world. ... Location complete. How many minutes do you plan to go in for repairs?"
"Now. Go and come back quickly, it's just a small problem."
"Okay. You can go to the delivery room now."
-38-
The delivery room is not far from Mr. P's office and can be entered by opening a side door - this is a special design of the main system.
Because, most of the time, Miss M's condition after completing tasks and traveling back from other worlds is not normal... although she is already very abnormal at other times.
If this (especially) abnormal girl comes into contact with other employees in the office building, she will usually slaughter them all the way to the main system door, and then... then... destroy half of the system world before she can wake up, probably, haha (.)
However, if Mr. P's office is arranged as the first place she walks into after returning, and Mr. P is placed where she can see him at a glance, it ensures that Mr. P is the first person she contacts after returning.
Then she would be normal, and all would be well with the world.
This is rigorously calculated by the main system.
-39-
Although this means that Mr. P has to face Ms. M's abnormal condition, he is a kind and good person and will understand everyone.
Besides, he had already started working in M's department. He would have to meet M sooner or later.
All employees unanimously agreed that Mr. P was an angel who could work miracles, and all employees believed in him.
Just like that, after receiving the thank-you letters from all the employees, Mr. P, who had just joined the company, agreed to the office changes with some confusion, and felt a little uneasy about the work arrangement that "my boss can always see me at a glance."
49 years later, Mr. P, who had been harassed countless times by his resentful boss, could now understand this work arrangement.
To help attract hatred to the world, eh.
-40-
Mr. P will always remember himself on the day of the job fair.
I first caught a glimpse of Miss M at a job fair and because I thought she was "unexpectedly cute", I sent my resume to the terrifying maintenance department.
-41-
It's just a deception of the world.
-42-
After that, for 49 years, his dreams were all about resigning smoothly.
…never mind. Good system employees don't need to recall.
Mr. P watched Miss M walk into the launch room, which was an exceptionally spacious room used as a portal to various small worlds.
Every time the small world is launched, it needs to be carefully debugged. Originally, employees from three teams should have been on hand to adjust the data, but there is only one employee in Miss M's department, and no other staff.
Mr. P input the command and pulled out a long and wide observation window on the wall of the delivery room. Miss M in the window smiled and waved at him.
He lowered his head and raised his hand, and a huge stream of data surged through his fingertips.
-43-
…No matter how many times I watch it, I still think it’s amazing.
Miss M put down her hands and looked at Mr. P outside the window as he sorted out and controlled those tiny spots of light, while the shadow of the space-time channel was collapsing or twisting under her feet with the movement of his fingertips.
One person can handle so much data processing and do it so quickly.
M knew he was an excellent employee.
After working together for so many years, no matter how difficult the instructions she gave were, Mr. P would just reply "OK", and then all the preparations would be completed quickly without her having to worry about it at all.
Even if idiots from other departments come to him for help, Xiao P will provide help, no matter what the profession or content is... As long as it is "work", it seems that he can do anything.
But this guy always says that he is "just a civilian who is not good at fighting", and then praises the other party to no avail, as if nothing he does is anything special.
-44-
...So why did Xiao P only submit his resume to the terrifying Maintenance Department? With his skills, there shouldn't be any department that wouldn't want him, right?
She had been recruiting people, but no one applied except him.
Could it be that my hand slipped?
-45-
"Debugging complete, Ms. M. Please prepare for launch. The countdown begins..."
The number [20] made up of light dots appeared before her eyes and quickly changed to [19][18].
The more M thought about it, the more curious she became, so she decided to ask directly. She never liked to keep doubts to herself.
"Xiao P, why did you send me your resume back then?"
Mr. P, who was setting up auxiliary props at the delivery point, frowned slightly.
He also doesn't like wasting time by beating around the bush.
Especially during working hours, every precious second can be used to deal with new complaints made by M.
"Please don't..."
[15]
"Xiao P, tell me, I'm really curious~"
[10]
"Tell me now and I promise not to put any hair in your closet this Crazy Thursday!"
So you're still planning on ruining my Crazy Thursday, huh?
Mr. P glared at her helplessly, but the brilliant light sea blue had no lethality.
[5]
"Because I thought you were unexpectedly cute, I submitted my resume. This is the result."
He waved his hand: "Okay, bon voyage."
[1——Countdown ends——Transmission begins——]
Miss M's eyes widened and she disappeared into the delivery room.
-46-
...What was the result?!
Since you told me directly, could you please explain it clearly?
The author has something to say: Mr. P: It could be anything else. Daily accidents, interrupted vacations, and the inability to enjoy crazy Thursdays. So cuteness is just a deception of the world.
*box cutter sounds from behind*
New article is here, everyone has been waiting~~~
This is the pseudo-horrifying daily life of Mr. Ten-Motioned Rejection and Miss Joyful Oddity! Straightforward versus straightforward! ...While both are straightforward, their brains aren't quite right. This is a love story about a psychopath.
Ms. M: ...What? Love? I'm not interested in boring things. — No more talking. Little P is here for work. Hehehe, I'm going to go play!
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
