-1-
So, noon.
When Miss M woke up, she did not get to eat the hamburger she ordered.
Instead of a hamburger, the only dish served was stir-fried cabbage with black fungus.
“Eat more vegetables.”
Ms. M: “…”
Miss M wanted to shout loudly, but her experience of living together for more than 20 years taught her that she should not make negative comments about the food served by Xiao P at the dinner table.
At other times, you can bully Little P at will, but you cannot bully Little P who is holding the spatula.
-2-
The guy who holds the spatula cannot be offended. This seems to be an eternal theorem in all the worlds.
-3-
So Miss M stopped nagging. She slowly lowered her head and began to grab the new tablecloth that Mr. P had changed last month.
This new tablecloth has many tassels on the edge, and Miss M always plays with the tassels for a long time while waiting for her meal.
Mr. P, who was busy serving dishes, happened to catch a glimpse of this scene and said: "..."
-4-
It turns out that I should prepare some balls of yarn and put them on the table.
-5-
Miss M didn't know that she was hallucinated as a cat by her subordinate with strange thinking.
Ever since that time many years ago when he couldn't afford his own dorm and slept on the couch for a week, and when he was discovered, he directly ordered his subordinates to solve his predicament of having no place to sleep. As a result, he bought a cat bed online for the office as if it was a matter of course.
Miss M became dissatisfied with Xiao P's perception that his boss was a cat.
Because, she is the one who manages him and torments him. She is Xiao P's direct superior and the largest food chain above him.
If I were seen as a weak creature that lived by being cute, wouldn't I have no dignity at all?
She was the one who was in a commanding position, bullying, playing with, and controlling Xiao P.
-6-
...Although she also likes to act cute...cuteness and majesty don't conflict...that's not the point.
The point is, Little P's visions of her "cat" are also very strange.
This guy is obviously not a furry person and has no interest in any pets.
Cats too—
Ms. M observed that Mr. P never watches cat videos and never pets cats online with his colleagues.
If he encounters stray cats when he goes to other worlds, he will be very angelic and prepare cat food for them...
But that's just pure kindness.
-7-
Miss M was very sure that Mr. P had no preference for cats at all.
Because he is the kind of guy who, when a stray kitten happily rubs against him while eating cat food, withdraws his hand, stands up straight, steps back several steps, and then says, "Lady with brown paw pads, you must have a lot of germs on your body, can you please stay away?"
-8-
...This weirdo can't even pet a cat! Even if a cat rubs against him, he refuses to pet it!
What normal person who truly loves cats would refuse to pet a cat?
So, when Little P sometimes has strange cat visions of her, there must be ulterior motives...
-9-
When Mr. P was questioned by his colleagues about this, he said: "What? If you have a cat, you can only pet your own cat. Isn't that common sense?"
"……ah?"
"Besides, how can those wild cats outside be as cute and beautiful as the cats at home? I have no interest in watching them. No matter how cute the videos are, I can't appreciate them."
"……ah?"
"Then again, isn't it fundamental to be loyal to your partner, both physically and emotionally? ... We should all show affection to our own cats and ignore all others."
“…”
Colleague: Wait.
Is the angel talking about raising a cat or raising a partner?
-10-
Let’s not talk about Mr. P’s extremely twisted cat-raising theory that will confuse all cat lovers.
...In fact, the fact that he can equate Miss M with a cat shows that there is something seriously wrong with him.
But colleagues all interpreted it as "having been persecuted by that M for too long, and the angel equating her with a cat was just a way to adjust her mindset and face the bleak tomorrow positively."
After all, apart from constantly spreading the "M cat theory", Mr. P is really an angel in front of his colleagues.
In short—
Today, at noon, Miss M, who was waiting for her meal with her tassels in her hand, was still not satisfied.
-11-
I ordered a hamburger this morning.
Stir-fried Chinese cabbage with black fungus. It's quite different from a hamburger.
And little P has a habit of forbidding me to say bad things at the dinner table... She's been saying good things for so long... but she still always makes these mediocre dishes!
What's wrong with saying a few words that taste bad?
Xiao P’s cooking is really bad!
Even though he has spent years studying recipes and setting aside time every day to delve into them, the meals he makes now can only be described as "ordinary."
Just some ordinary, unpretentious home cooking.
If you order a high-end dish like "Vegetarian Braised Shark's Fin", he will just smile and serve you stir-fried day lily and mushrooms.
And the soup of the day will still be salty.
-12-
...A guy who has to practice for years to cook "ordinary meals" shouldn't have picked up a spatula in the first place.
Before Mr. P could cook normal meals, Ms. M ate weird dishes for years...
Every time she complained that something was “unpalatable”, it was a genuine comment from her, without any exaggeration.
After eating Xiao P's food for so long, Miss M felt that she had enough qualifications to repeat to him "it's unpalatable" a thousand times.
There's nothing to be proud of in successfully cooking an ordinary meal; the most basic thing is to serve the best dishes to your boss.
Home-cooked dishes that are neither good nor bad should certainly be rated as "unpalatable".
Such a lovely boss is sitting outside your kitchen waiting for food. Shouldn’t you use the skills of a Michelin three-star chef and prepare everything from appetizers to desserts?
But you served mixed cucumber, scrambled eggs with tomatoes, braised pork with green peppers and yam and pork rib soup, and the dessert after the meal was just a peeled apple?
-13-
Ms. M: "This is awful, Little P! These are just three simple dishes and a soup. Do you think I'm a housewife who can be easily dismissed as someone serving my in-laws with nonsense like 'focusing on the warmth of home'? I want pizza!"
Mr. P: "It's actually quite laborious to make cucumber salad, Ms. M, and how long do you think I've been simmering the pork rib soup? And this is much more nutritious than takeout pizza..."
Ms. M: "It's awful, stop nagging me—I want pizza delivered! A fancy pizza with three cheeses!"
Mr. P: "...You're not some housewife, Ms. M. With such a bad attitude, you're probably some stinky guy going through a midlife crisis and venting work stress on his wife."
Miss M sneered and picked up her chopsticks while eating the braised pork with green peppers.
"Even my wife can cook better than you. Little P, who can't cook, will never be able to get married from the beginning. A great wizard that no one wants."
Mr. P kept smiling and opened the chopsticks she was using to pick up the meat with a "snap".
"If you dislike it so much, don't eat it."
Ms. M: “…”
"Let's order a pizza. How about using your own paycheck card?"
Ms. M: “…”
"I'll just pour out the pork rib soup. I don't really drink soup anyway."
Miss M, the soup-drinking alien: "..."
-14-
So Miss M didn't get any pizza delivered that day, and her bowl was even taken away from her. In the middle of the night, she lay in bed staring at the ceiling, listening to her stomach rumbling.
-15-
Xiao P went out, bringing the pot of fragrant yam and pork ribs soup with him. After thinking it over gently, he said "food cannot be wasted" and decided to give all the food to his colleagues.
…her yam and pork rib soup, which had been simmering on the stove for a full five hours. Little P had even removed all the loose bones and cut the yams into beautiful diamond shapes.
Miss M, a loyal soup drinker, has the highest requirements for soup and is the most picky. She drinks soup almost at every meal and also makes soup almost at every meal.
The main dish in the soup should melt in the mouth, the side dishes in the soup should be cut into beautiful shapes, the color of the soup should be pleasing to the eye, and the temperature of the soup when it is served to her bowl should be just right, because Miss M's tongue is too sensitive and is always easily burned.
Over time, Mr. P improved the fastest in making soups. The soups he made almost went beyond the scope of "home cooking" and became "fine dishes."
Obviously, Xiao P didn’t react at all when I pointed out that his food tasted bad before.
…Even if it tastes bad, I can still eat it, Miss M thought, staring at the ceiling. She has been eating bad food for so many years anyway.
She will eat it no matter how bad it tastes.
Why send him away?
-16-
I'm so hungry.
-17-
So Miss M, who was too hungry to sleep, rolled over in the quilt, then rolled back, and then rolled over again.
After crawling through her quilt from top to bottom but still unable to fall asleep, she hugged her pillow and quietly crawled out of the bedroom.
No slippers, just bare feet, stepping quietly on the floor.
He stepped all the way to the door and reached Mr. P's baseball cap and mask hanging in the entrance.
—Let’s rob that late-night pizza place.
Anyway, Xiao P will be responsible for the subsequent compensation.
-18-
However, Ms. M's plan to rob the pizza shop did not succeed because Mr. P opened the door and came back before she put on her mask.
He glanced coldly at the baseball cap on her head, then raised his hand and placed the pizza box on top of her head.
-19-
“Your takeaway.”
-20-
Ms. M, who was holding a pizza box, said: "..."
Is that hot, three-cheese pizza smoking above my head?
It’s too hot, I feel a little dizzy.
Miss M paused and silently took off her mask.
This should make it cooler.
"Xiao P, ladies can't eat pizza in the middle of the night..."
"So you didn't just go out and rob a pizza."
“…”
Ms. M lowered her dark baseball cap and said, "No pizza. I want to eat Xiao P's yam and pork rib soup."
Mr. P looked at her. Her black hair, which was obviously tangled in the quilt, was pressed down by the baseball cap.
-twenty one-
"Disrespecting the chef's hard work is a bad habit, and I hope you can correct it. If it's really unpalatable, you can criticize and correct me, but if you simply find the food mediocre, I will refuse to accept your suggestion."
"oh……"
"This won't happen again, Miss M. ...Come here, put the pizza in the refrigerator. I also left a bowl of yam and pork rib soup, and some noodles for you."
"……oh!"
-twenty two-
Mr. P took off the baseball cap that she had sloppily put on her head, and her messy black hair immediately flew up in joy.
He wanted to reach out and smooth it out, but when he heard his boss' stomach growling, he withdrew his hand and walked towards the kitchen.
"Can I just use a simple soy sauce base for the noodles? I've only learned how to make this kind of noodle soup so far."
"...Ah, what, only soy sauce? I was thinking of trying some spicy pork rib noodles—Xiao P, why are your cooking skills so bad that you can't even cook noodles—"
Mr. P: “…”
-twenty three-
That night, Miss M had the good fortune to eat the saltiest soy sauce noodles and the saltiest yam and pork rib soup in her long life as a ghost.
-twenty four-
The loyal soup-drinking alien was completely defeated by the angel who delivered the pizza.
From then on, Miss M naturally learned to behave well at the dinner table.
"Ordinary" is directly praised as "delicious", "delicious" is directly praised as "top-notch delicious", and even drinking chicken soup is treated as if it is a trip to the underwater world to eat a crab roe burger.
"How is today's food? Is it delicious?"
"It's delicious. Absolutely delicious. If you think it's not delicious, it must be my fault."
"Ah, thank you for the compliment."
-25-
...However, Miss M, who was forced to stop bullying Little P at the dinner table, still refused to give in.
Because she couldn't say bad things directly, whenever Miss M tried to express her dissatisfaction with today's menu, she would stop praising it and protest with silence.
So, at this moment, she silently let go of the tablecloth tassels and glared at her subordinates who walked out of the kitchen, her dark eyes cold and fierce.
-26-
"Dinner is ready, Miss M."
The subordinate calmly placed a small pink bowl in front of her: "Your own porcelain bowl."
Miss M held on to her bowl in silence and coldness.
"As you used to do, fill the bowl with rice and press it down."
Miss M nodded in affirmation silently and grimly.
Mr. P turned around and brought the prepared casserole of beef stewed with potatoes.
Miss M then silently raised her arms, picked up the bowl, and presented it to her subordinate.
-27-
With her long straight black hair and dark eyes, when she looked up at people, she always gave them a creepy, inhuman feeling.
Especially stop acting like a spoiled brat and be silent.
-28-
But Mr. P has interpreted this action as "please feed me" many times in the past.
After taking out the dried fish and putting it in her hand for the Nth time, and then being hit on the head by the bowl, Mr. P learned to correctly understand the action of raising both hands and holding the bowl to him.
It means "It's not tasty, please help me serve the food."
-29-
...Is this any different from "Please feed me"?
-30-
"Okay, pour more beef stew sauce on it... Wait a moment, I'll help you get some side dishes."
Miss M remained steadfast in her silence until Mr. P put the wood ear mushrooms and cabbage into her small bowl of potato and beef stew.
She firmly and silently took the bowl back, picked up the chopsticks, and lowered her head to eat.
-31-
Mr. P: ...Sure enough, we should add some dried fish?
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