-1-
"So, let's begin this meeting about..."
M, who was sitting at the head of the long table, twirled the pen between his fingers, his face full of impatience.
Ms. R, the head of the maintenance department, who was sitting on her left, trembled a little but finally resisted the urge to run away.
——Although, according to her job title, she is Miss M’s direct superior.
-2-
The Maintenance Department consists of five departments:
The Love Maintenance Department is responsible for the maintenance of the love line;
The Business Maintenance Department is responsible for the maintenance of the business lines;
The family maintenance department is responsible for the maintenance of the children's line;
The Time Maintenance Department, responsible for timeline maintenance...
With the Horror Maintenance Department.
The Horror Maintenance Department has the fewest employees and the vaguest business content. Even Ms. R, the general manager, is not clear about what the Horror Maintenance Department does specifically.
After joining the company, Mr. P sorted out the business reports clearly, but when asked about the vague points in the key parts, he would only smile and say, "It is necessary to mosaic it, it is best not to understand it clearly."
…Okay, R doesn’t want to understand it clearly either.
"It's always right to listen to P" is the first rule of survival in the maintenance department.
Regardless of the number of employees or performance, M, the branch manager in the maintenance department, should sit at the end of the long table and hide in the back, like other branch managers, helping the boss of the maintenance department to write down all the meeting contents.
...But everyone knows that M is the one who actually has the final say in the maintenance department.
Seniority determined the hierarchy among system employees, and M, who could sit in the front row of the annual meeting, randomly hack the main system based on her mood, and to this day no one knew how many years she had been dead—
Even if he became the highest-ranking governor in the main system, no one would express his opinion.
-3-
But M is a severely mentally ill person, and everyone wants to keep a distance of eighty meters from her, let alone work with her.
Fortunately, M, a psychopath, had no interest in power. Driven entirely by pleasure, she herself found management troublesome, so she took a sinecure as "Head of the Horrible Maintenance Department" from the main system and completely wandered outside the system.
After all, M was too lazy to manage subordinates or attend any meetings - in the past, the "Terrible Maintenance Department" only had M as an employee, so she could work freely, skip work if she wanted, and leave early if she wanted.
R didn't dare to scold her. No boss would dare to scold a mentally ill subordinate holding a sickle.
The only thing she could do was put up a big "Run" sign outside the scary maintenance department's office building to protect her other employees.
-4-
Later, Mr. P sprayed a layer of orange fluorescent paint on the large "Run" sign, working even harder to protect all employees except himself.
After learning about this, Ms. R gave the angel another salary increase with tears in her eyes.
But everyone knows that what Mr. P has suffered can never be compensated by a salary increase.
-5-
"Recently, the Observation Department discovered abnormal fluctuations in several small worlds..."
M yawned.
The impatience on her face was almost tangible, but she was still holding the pen and fiddling with it instead of pulling out the sickle to kill people.
Miss M's face is really deceptive. The way she sits there playing with a pen boredly looks like a cat playing with a ball of yarn.
Ms. R: ...I always hear P’s strange comments like “She looks cute but has a bad personality” and “But her bad personality is also like a cat.” Have I been assimilated?
"Hello."
M suddenly turned around and said, "What are you looking at me for, R?"
The cold light reflected by the pen cap on M's face made Miss R's hair stand on end at that moment.
Because she had seen M use the tip of a signature pen to kill undead, more than once, and M's actions were extremely neat, fast and cruel—
-6-
...What the hell is that cat?! It's a great white shark! This guy is a deep-sea great white shark with a mouth full of sharp teeth!
It turns out that ordinary people cannot believe the angels’ comments!
So how angelic is P to be able to cover his lung that was pierced by a ballpoint pen and make the comment "He just has a bad personality"!
“No, no…”
R lied tremblingly: "It's just, uh, seeing you were in a daze, I wanted to..."
Miss M expressed her doubts with a single word: "Do you want to?"
...They're clearly my subordinates! I'm clearly the boss!
R continued tremblingly, "...I want to invite you to a nightclub...I have no work to do after today's meeting...We haven't been together for a long time...Ahem."
Miss M loves going to nightclubs. R has worked with her for more than a hundred years and knows that this woman will appear in every occasion where there is "fun".
Before Mr. P joined the company, most employees would rush to invite M to nightclubs in order to save their own lives.
M won’t play with them anymore if he has fun with them.
-7-
Of course, this also indirectly caused many tragedies.
——Here it specifically refers to the poor men who come to chat up Miss M in the nightclub.
Their number can circle the system world, and their blood can cover three system worlds.
M's appearance is really harmful.
-8-
"...Going to a nightclub? Oh...it's been a while, R."
It's fun to go to nightclubs with R. She's really good at disco and makes a great dance partner.
M nodded, but said, "Next time. I have plans tonight, let's make an appointment next time."
——You can go to the nightclub any day, but Xiao P’s promise may not appear every day, hehe.
-9-
"Ah! P! Here here! Come here—"
At the team-building site downstairs, Mr. P, who had just washed his hands and changed into casual clothes, was called over by his colleagues.
A colleague from the maintenance department.
Mr. Y said excitedly, "We were just talking about how we can leave early today after the meeting. Want to go clubbing together, P?"
...nightclub.
All Mr. P saw was a large bloody mosaic.
He didn't say anything, just sat down at the table and smiled shyly.
"Hahaha, Y, you've had too much to drink. What are you suggesting?" Soon, Miss X, who was sitting next to him, said, "P is definitely the type who wouldn't go to a nightclub. Don't lead our new angels astray."
"What? It's only fun for people like me who don't go to nightclubs to go into nightclubs..."
-10-
No, I've been there many times.
Every time I am accompanying my boss, if I am a little careless, I will see a bloody mosaic.
...Since you always complain that "dirty and disgusting things disturb my happy dancing time", you should not wear a miniskirt to a disco in the first place and give a sweet smile to every stranger who buys you a drink, Miss M.
Those men are really innocent.
I was also innocent when you dragged me over there.
Later, he gradually mastered the method of stopping M from going crazy in the nightclub - he would pay for her drinks as soon as possible, he would separate her from the opposite sex when she was dancing, and he would help her reject those ambiguous questions and glances as soon as possible.
But he was rejected by people saying, “Tsk, what a young couple!”
There are also comments such as "Men with such strong possessiveness are not popular."
…I was clearly saving your lives.
Really, from the bottom of my heart, this is for your own good.
-11-
Until one time when he accompanied his boss to a nightclub, Mr. P, who was exhausted from chasing people away, finally met a male compatriot who could understand what he said. The other party quickly said that he would not flirt with Miss M and expressed sympathy for the hard work of Mr. P.
"Yeah, those guys who always link single men and women with romantic relationships are really speechless."
"Besides jealousy, there are many other reasons that prevent people from approaching others."
"You are so good and kind."
"Your skin is so white"
Mr. P was very touched by being understood, and he immediately offered to treat the other party to a drink.
As a result, when he went to the bar to buy a drink, the undead was shattered.
What a huge mosaic.
"...Aren't you still dancing? And I made sure no one hit on you this time..."
Miss M glared at him coldly.
"That guy is hitting on you."
"...Huh? What? How is that possible? I'm a man."
Mr. P was incredulous: "And I wasn't dancing or drinking. I was just sitting there eating a fruit plate. People like me are very safe in nightclubs, Ms. M. Please don't make unfounded assumptions."
Well-founded.
That guy has his hands on your ass.
-12-
"Little P is really straight."
"Please don't act rashly anymore... Even though it's a ghost, if it's a colleague from the operations department, there's a lot more work to do in terms of reporting... Ah, there's blood everywhere, I need to borrow a mop... Sorry, the speakers are too loud. What did you say?"
Miss M stopped talking.
But that was Mr. P's last experience of accompanying his boss to a nightclub.
-13-
Mr. P still doesn't understand why his boss no longer takes him to nightclubs.
But, never mind.
No longer have to endure those sarcastic remarks like “Your boyfriend is so possessive, tsk tsk tsk” while saving those strange men.
-14-
He, really, and Miss M, have a simple relationship of superior and subordinate.
He himself has no intention of developing a romantic relationship.
Do strangers who spend too much time in nightclubs not understand what people say?
-15-
"That's right, if I force P to go to a nightclub, M will definitely go crazy..."
"Hiss. Yeah."
The colleagues in charge of team building don’t understand what we say, right?
Mr. P smiled and took a sip of the juice that Miss X pushed to his side, waiting for his chattering colleagues to change the topic.
As the newest employee with the least experience in the maintenance department, Mr. P usually does not express his opinions during conversations with colleagues. Most of the time, he humbly puts himself in the lowest position, acts only as a listener during small talk, and respects every colleague as a senior.
Therefore, he is very popular among his colleagues. Who wouldn't like Mr. P, who looks at you with caring eyes, listens carefully to every word you say, and instead of commenting on your thoughts, makes you a cup of hot chocolate, and even adds a sentence like "Thank you for your hard work, senior"?
Not to mention his healing looks... Mr. P's appearance is actually not eye-catching, and it's nothing compared to those super handsome guys in the Love Maintenance Department.
But when he bends his blue eyes and says "Good morning" to you, you will think from the bottom of your heart that "the morning is beautiful"; when he pours coffee for you in the tea room, you will think that "coffee is the best drink"; when he smiles at you, you will feel extremely happy and think that "the world is really beautiful".
If you have any troubles, you can talk to him;
If you encounter difficulties at work, you can ask him for help;
If you are sick and uncomfortable, he will help you punch in and send you medicine;
When you are feeling depressed, you can be cured by looking at him;
When you are lacking in confidence, he will use the word "senior" to boost your confidence;
If you encounter that M, you can contact him for help——
Especially when facing Miss M, no matter what P is doing, he will appear at the first moment to save everyone from danger.
-16-
This man is not called an angel for nothing.
If Mr. P was not afraid of M, he would definitely be ranked first in the rankings of "I want to be woken up by him the most", "I want to be coaxed to sleep by him the most", "I want to fall in love with him the most", etc.
...But who made Mr. P have that M next to him?
Everyone had no choice but to let Mr. P take the last place on each list.
Everyone has a strong desire to survive.
-17-
"...Ah, I don't know if I'm really that bad. I thought giving cookies to my colleagues in the operations department would make the final rankings look a little better this year... Hey, even the robot guarding the door downstairs ranked higher than me."
The instigator, Ms. M: "It's okay, Xiao P has my love~"
Mr. P: “Thank you, no.”
After saying that, he threw the magazine aside and dragged out the command interface again.
"The data room needs cleaning... and by the way... vacuuming..."
M rested his chin on his hand and watched his wrist moving as he manipulated the data.
There were still teeth marks on it from last night.
"Little P is really bewitching. And he has no self-awareness at all."
"What? I can't hear you... Please don't talk while I'm vacuuming... The dust will hurt my throat..."
"nothing."
-18-
Anyway, I was the only one who was woken up and coaxed to sleep.
What a boring ranking. Although it was a mistake to include Xiao P in the list of candidates, she was in a good mood today, so she just turned a blind eye and let it go.
There is actually a list of “things you most want to be in love with”… Yawn, something as boring as love can be listed on the same list as “being woken up” and “being coaxed to sleep”. The operations department is getting more and more stupid.
-19-
"Speaking of which, you know what? There have been a lot of problems in the operations department recently."
Suddenly, Miss X lowered her voice and said, "It seems to involve some abnormal fluctuations... We're going to discuss this matter in the meeting upstairs today."
The juice in Mr. P's glass was almost empty. He responded while thinking about the right time to refill it.
The butterbeer on the tray over there seemed tempting, but going over to get it now would interrupt the chatter of the seniors.
...For some reason, everyone assumed that I could only drink juice, and they would hand me juice every time we had team building.
Obviously I can drink quite well.
"The Operations Department is so annoying. Every time they cause trouble, they always push it onto the Maintenance Department to solve it..."
"There's nothing we can do about it. The operations department isn't responsible for solving problems. Humph, those idiots are just ruining things."
"Furthermore, if there are any errors in the content that the Operations Department is primarily responsible for, it will also affect our Maintenance Department..."
"The most important thing is it's going to affect wages. If it weren't for the wages, who would keep an eye on the operations department every day...right? Wages are paramount! If they're reduced, even three meals a day won't be possible...I still want to go to Resort World and have some fun..."
-20-
That's right.
System employees cannot experience everything that living people can experience.
Eating, thirst, cold, sickness, vocalization, sleeping...
All of this is based on "salary".
A portion of the employee's salary is automatically deducted to maintain their "normal" life within the system world. Employees refer to this portion of the cost as "living expenses."
Therefore, if wages are reduced and employees cannot even pay for living expenses, they may even suffer from problems such as "loss of taste" and "inability to sleep".
——Except the pain.
The vivid, intense sensation of pain is the only thing that system employees can experience for free.
-twenty one-
Because employees will not remember their memories before they died.
But they will always remember how it felt to die.
-twenty two-
...On the other hand, if employees want new clothes and shoes, want to go to entertainment venues, and want to travel to Resort World, they will need more and more expenses.
An ordinary skirt that can be bought for a hundred yuan in reality may cost ten or even a hundred times more in the system world.
Because, this is [after death].
It doesn't make sense that you can enjoy the life of a living person for free.
Being able to exchange these for salary is an exclusive benefit for system employees, and the undead are coveting them.
-twenty three-
Mr. Y has been in high spirits today. "Speaking of which, I wonder how much this year's bonus will be... Hey, P, tell you, I was promoted to team leader of the business maintenance department! It took me fifty years... I heard that team leaders get an extra zero compared to regular employees!"
The person who ranks first in the system world income ranking: "Yeah. Senior is really amazing."
He actually hopes to earn less so that M won't use his card to make random purchases using the excuse that "you won't spend it anyway."
Don't buy miniskirts in winter - she won't listen no matter how many times I tell her.
-twenty four-
"It's P-Yo! P! Come here, here!"
A greeting came from far away. The person sounded familiar.
Before Mr. P could react, his colleague next to him hugged his head.
"Don't grab it!" Miss X said drunkenly, "This is our new angel from the maintenance department! The useless guys from the operations department, get out of here!"
"I'm not some good-for-nothing from the operations department... Hahaha, damn, you're being too harsh."
Mr. 886 from the purchasing department sat down next to them.
"Hello, P. Long time no see."
He said hello lightly, pushing the Butterbeer toward Mr. P. "The maintenance department stuffed juice into your mouth again, didn't they? What a bunch of idiots who are protecting their own children."
-25-
Mr. P carefully broke free from his colleague's hand and laid the unconscious Ms. X down on the table.
"Hello, 886. Long time no see."
He said, "I've always thought your purchasing department's employee IDs were weird."
"No, it's not as weird as the 26 letters in your maintenance department... Even if you change your name, people will still call you by letters... Unlike numeric IDs, they are highly recognizable and fashionable, which is very popular nowadays."
oh.
Mr. P picked up his butterbeer and said nothing more.
Anyway, he will change his ID to another number next time we meet. He changes his ID quite frequently, as frequently as Miss M changes her skirts.
Employees in the purchasing department rarely stay in the system world for a long time. They will return to the system world every few decades to purchase goods. The convenience stores downstairs in each office building are opened by the purchasing department, and they usually entrust the task of watching the store and selling goods to employees in various departments.
For example, Miss X is the manager of the convenience store downstairs from the maintenance department. The reason why she complains to everyone that the operations department is a loser is because she has been dissatisfied with the convenience store on the operations department's side for a long time.
Obviously, the location of the convenience store in the maintenance department is the most convenient, but in order to avoid M, the employees of the maintenance department will run to the convenience store downstairs in the operation department to shop.
It is said that the operations department hung a white wreath in front of her store as a mockery this Christmas.
-26-
Therefore, Miss X is the one who gets closest to Mr. P among all the female colleagues - he is the only employee who often visits the convenience store downstairs, and Miss X is also the only maintenance department employee who is relatively not afraid of M.
Because when she battles with store managers from other departments, she often uses "Believe it or not, I'll tell M" to win.
And often use "our department has that M" to get the best supply.
When Mr. P heard Miss X sigh to other colleagues during lunch break, "Actually, M is the supreme treasure for other departments," he was very moved. From then on, he would go to the convenience store to buy things every day, and from time to time share with her some of M's daily life when he was not crazy to improve her favor.
Maybe if I try harder, I can help Miss M gain a friend.jpg
...Of course, Miss X herself didn't know what Mr. P was thinking, otherwise she would have yelled "Back, Back, Back" and fled to the operations department.
-27-
In short, Mr. P does not often meet with Mr. 886 from the purchasing department.
They have similar qualifications and met each other when they joined the company. After being divided into departments, they focused on their own work and usually only communicated online.
Mr. P always remembers this person as "the legendary handsome guy in the purchasing department."
Why is he called the "legendary handsome guy"? Because Mr. 886 has a legendary record - he is the only man who has approached Miss M when he was young and ignorant, but left happily, smoothly and safely.
Ms. M herself explained: "Because his gaze isn't lustful. He complimented my bag and asked for the link. He's such a gay. Ugh."
...The reporter from the operations department selectively ignored the second half and directly glorified Mr. 886 as a "fragile handsome man with pure eyes like a deer."
The paragraph in the magazine was too long, so Mr. P selectively remembered it as "legendary handsome guy."
And later, the legendary handsome guy excitedly sent him a message online.
[I don’t have eyes as pure as a freaking deer! ]
[I’m a straight guy, not a fragile pretty guy! ! ]
[Who the hell started this rumor that I was being gay when I flirted with her?!]
...Yeah, that's it.
The legendary handsome guy seldom returns to the system world and has little experience, so he is not even very familiar with M's reputation.
Mr. P also didn't tell him that his boss was M: because every time they contacted, this friend would spend hundreds of words cursing the guy who spread the rumor that he was gay.
He really couldn't find a chance to tell his friends.
After all, it would be bad if you got a heart attack because of your own passionate speech after knowing the truth.
-28-
"Come to think of it, shouldn't you be wearing your uniform today? You specifically asked me to borrow a uniform yesterday, right?"
The legendary handsome guy winked and said, "How is it? How's the effect?"
...Yes, his meticulous friend in the purchasing department is the legendary handsome guy.
I should have been very careful.
"What's wrong? The size is wrong, and my boss won't let me accompany her to the meeting."
Mr. P frowned. “I remember sending you the correct size.”
"……ah?"
The legendary handsome guy stupidly asked back: "Why do you want to accompany your boss to the meeting? We are not qualified to attend the meeting upstairs."
"I thought you were borrowing it to play uniform with your female boss. I picked the wrong size on purpose."
Mr. P: “…”
-29-
He gave an angelic smile, "What?"
-30-
"Ah... that's what..." The legendary handsome guy gestured, "Everyone knows that you have super fair skin... There's even a rumor in a magazine that your ankles are pink... So if you shorten your uniform pants..."
It will be very sexy.
Mr. P: "You're really a gay. Let's not meet in person anymore. Let's keep in touch online."
"...Hey! P! Don't be so extreme! Why are you suddenly so extreme! I just made some inferences based on the facts-"
The legendary handsome guy felt aggrieved: "Haven't you been sharing your female boss's daily life with me since the first day you started working? 'She's very cute,' 'She has a bit of a bad personality,' 'She eats too much ice cream,' 'She always buys miniskirts,' 'She really likes to interrupt me at work,' 'She's always bothered'—just listen to what you posted! Aren't you guys talking about it? Aren't you talking about it? So when you said you wanted to borrow your uniform to accompany your boss, I thought it was some kind of fun!... And how can someone like you describe a colleague of the opposite sex as so close to you... Even if we're not talking about it, you should have some feelings for her..."
“…”
-31-
"You really misunderstood."
Mr. P continued with his angelic smile, "My boss is Miss M. That M."
-32-
The legendary handsome guy froze.
The legendary handsome guy came out.
The legendary handsome guy began to tremble, and hugged his arms with sobs, saying:
"Baby, you've worked hard."
-33-
He is really gay, ugh.
-34-
Mr. P smiled and slapped the legendary handsome guy's arms away. Just as he was about to say something else, a notification popped up in the air in front of him.
The indigo light flashed a few times, forming solid words.
There are no mobile phones in the system world. Information is transmitted directly through light spots and sent to everyone through the communication subsystem.
Employees' public communication channels are open to everyone and can be checked through the system. Only private channels require the exchange of private message codes.
Therefore, all employees can contact P in an emergency without P's consent.
Mr. P’s private channel is only bound to some office programs, after all, there are too many data operations he needs to master.
"...It's a notification from the monitoring program in the office. Abnormal fluctuations... Hmm?"
-35-
Miss M was boredly counting the seconds on the wall when she heard a knock on the meeting room door.
“…Please come in.”
Mr. P pushed the door open, said softly, "Sorry to bother you," and walked quickly towards Miss M.
Everyone saw him whisper a few words into M's ear, and M's originally lazy expression immediately changed.
——Probably, it went from "I'm in a good mood and the sun is warm" to "I kind of want to destroy the world."
Miss R, who was sitting closest, swore that she saw the materialized black energy.
"…I have an urgent mission. I'll leave first. You guys continue."
“Okay, okay…”
"Take care..."
-36-
I hope this world-destroying black energy isn’t directed towards us!
-37-
Outside the meeting room, Mr. P quickly caught up with Ms. M.
"Please calm down," he said helplessly, "Even if we need to deal with the abnormal fluctuations that occurred in the small world earlier, there is no need to be so impatient..."
"You said, Little P, that 'abnormal fluctuations occurred at night'. This means that I have to stay in that small world until at least night."
Miss M said coldly, "I have plans tonight. I don't want to be disturbed by overtime."
-38-
Mr. P: “…”
Mr. P: “Your unusual frankness in a place like this always bothers me.”
Miss M had a gloomy face and her expression was still terrifying.
Mr. P hesitated for a while until Ms. M made a "thump thump thump" noise with her high heels on the ground.
...Don't your feet hurt?
"Alright, alright. I'll find a way to adjust the timeline and set the drop point directly to the nighttime of the small world. You don't have to spend the entire night there."
"snort."
Miss M walked into the portal. She didn't say anything, but her expression changed again to "I'm in a good mood and the sun is warm."
-39-
Well, smoothing the hair was successful.
The author has something to say:
Legendary handsome guy (tears in his eyes): Look at the message you sent! Look at your description! Even with all this, you still say you're not dating!
Legendary Handsome Guy (after learning the truth): ...How terrifying. Ugh. My friend is being targeted by a psychopath. Ugh, it's so hard for him.
Mr. P: I didn't find it difficult. I just felt annoyed.
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