-1-
"...Just to send this kind of junk text message?! Did you destroy the central control room just to send this kind of junk text message to P?!"
Miss M was tapping away on her flip phone.
"Don't argue, that's data garbage," she said as she texted. "Haven't you heard that a girl in love can't live without texting?"
"...You have nothing to do with love!! You have nothing to do with girls!! You old man who has existed longer than me-"
The last cry suddenly died down because Miss M, who was sitting on the ball, kicked it hard.
"Old what?" she asked cheerfully amidst the thumping of footsteps in the background. "Old what? Why are you calling me 'old' when I'm a lovely girl like you?"
The main system, which was hit by a series of "bang bang bang" kicks: "..."
-2-
"Nothing. You're a girl. A girl."
"Data garbage occasionally comes up with some non-garbage words."
“…”
"Ah, Xiao P reported me and blocked me... Hurry up, my data is garbage, help me change my number."
“…”
-3-
When will P come back from vacation?
When can it be saved?
...Wow, a system world without P is basically purgatory...
"Hurry up, the data is garbage, don't waste time."
Another "bang" of a kick: "I haven't finished sending my 999 text messages yet. I wrote 999 blessings on Xiao P in the text messages, so of course I have to send all 999."
-4-
What a mental illness.
The main system murmured quietly: "A girl in love would not send 999 text messages with a value of 999..." and even called it a blessing message.
Miss M snorted and laughed: "You don't understand. This is a tacit communication between Xiao P and me."
Main System: I don't understand. He's already blocked you and reported you. He reports you as spam every time you send a message.
...It's essentially spam! You're essentially sending spam to harass your subordinate while he's on vacation! You can't just travel back in time to harass him, so why not just haunt him in emails?!
-5-
The little light ball shrank back in resentment and grievance, re-edited the data stream, and helped Miss M, who was sitting on it, change her number.
——Ms. M was also holding an old flip phone in her hand, which was why when she contacted Mr. P in another world, an old black flip phone suddenly appeared in his pocket, instead of a flat fruit or an advanced touch screen that turned into a card.
Because Miss M threatened the main system, saying "Pair me with Xiao P when we contact each other", she even participated in data editing, pointing and demanding that the other party must have a mobile phone of the same model but different color as hers, so that "the photos will look good."
...You're just harassing him and sending him spam! You wouldn't take a photo with him holding up the same phone! You're a psychopath who demands color matching for a spam message!
And the phone in your hand is not particularly exclusive - it's just a white flip phone you picked up during a mission before. Because Xiao P established cross-world communication with you through this phone at that time, I just conjured it up when I was helping you establish cross-world communication!
Psychopath...acting again...a psychopath who only knows how to act all day long...
-6-
I guess you don’t remember the human being who was fooled by your “girl in love” lie last time. You deceived him so badly.
...Yeah, last time too. She'd come over and drastically destroyed its central control room, just to get it to send a text message for her... The text read, "I'm still getting ready. Going out is a lot of work for a girl in love. Buy some flowers and some espresso coffee, and wait for me."... It even included a kissing emoji, acting so innocent and cute...
As a result, he turned around and had a great time in a world full of mosaics, leaving the other person waiting alone at the agreed place for four hours. After that, he came over covered in blood and asked with a smile, "Does this outfit look good? It's the red dress I carefully selected."
-7-
The main system does not know what happened next, nor does it know who that human being is. In any case, they are all normal people who have suffered from mental illness.
Before Mr. P joined, M had been very promiscuous outside for a while—often skipping work under the pretext of "having a one-night stand," often showing up late with yawns and messy hair—even occasionally making sophisticated comments like, "My last one-night stand didn't seem exciting enough, it couldn't compare to the one before that."
The main system didn't understand much about relationships between men and women, nor was it curious about M's private life, but it was coerced by her into sending many dating text messages, with different wording, different locations, and even different notes.
At that time, Miss M opened the wardrobe in her favorites. She had no money to buy clothes in the past. If she really wanted to change into new clothes, she could only force the main system to conjure clothes for her, but the clothes she conjured could only be worn for a day or two.
She randomly picked up a navy blue jacket, tried it on herself, and tossed it aside. "So that's why it's a one-night stand. You have to change your identity with different people... Don't ask, the data is garbage. You don't understand relationships between men and women. Help me establish communication."
The main system felt aggrieved. Every time after talking to M, it didn't want to talk to her anymore.
All I know is to scold it and despise it.
-8-
Moreover, the coordinates clearly show that it is the same world and the same number.
Where are the different objects?
The relationship between men and women is so complicated.
-9-
Of course, although the main system has always stayed in the central control room, it has also made calculations.
M's connection to it is very close, and she also has many permissions that allow her to bypass it. The main system knows that somewhere under the central control room is a small world that belongs to M alone. There is her storage and her favorites. She can bypass the main system and directly access it.
But M is penniless, so the things she stores and collects must be very cheap.
There was [baggage] everywhere, she had told the main system.
-10-
Moreover, the main system only knows that she stores things there.
It had never been seen that she had looked through it or extracted it.
...It's better to say that it's a place where M throws away unwanted garbage than to say it's a favorites folder.
-11-
The main system is not human, it does not understand and does not care much.
M said it was a garbage dump full of baggage, and that was it;
M said it was not allowed to look through or snoop around, so it didn't go.
...The main system really doesn't have much curiosity. Anyway, M is a psychopath.
Even if a mentally ill person has a relationship with a man or a woman, he is probably still mentally ill.
The key example here is the poor human being that the main system remembers, the one it noticed while working intently in the central control room, who waited foolishly at the coordinate point for four hours after receiving the text message, during which time he experienced thunderstorms and typhoon weather, but still waited until M crossed over.
That so-called "date" was just going to a hotel.
M, who missed his show by four hours, didn't even stay there overnight.
...M is so bad, he only knows how to harm good children, woohoo.
-12-
So if you want to have a relationship, go find a mentally ill person.
It would be great if the mentally ill could be with the mentally ill. What's the big deal if they harm normal and good children?
-13-
"Okay, the data is rubbish, you're crying again, all you do is cry."
After getting the new number, Miss M re-edited the text message while saying nonchalantly, "If Xiao P wasn't on vacation and I wasn't bored, I wouldn't even bother looking for you... Okay, it's decided. After I send 999 emails, you will take me to Xiao P's vacation world."
"...No! I've told you so many times! Texting is spam, and you're definitely even worse if you go there—you harassed him last time to take a vacation, and the time before that, and the time before that—if you keep going like this, what's the point of granting him paid leave? Even on vacation, I still have to deal with a psychopath like you!"
Miss M struck down with a knife.
This ball is really annoying and noisy.
-14-
"Isn't it his honor to deal with such a lovely boss? Isn't it a blessing for such a lovely boss to type out 999 text messages word by word?"
As she spoke, Ms. M stomped her sneakers with a righteous air, expressing her discontent: "After all, if I had taken my boss on vacation with me, there wouldn't have been so much trouble! It's all Xiao P's fault!"
Main system: “…”
never mind.
You are mentally ill.
You are most reasonable.
It sighed, "So, your fiftieth anniversary gift to P is to send him 999 spam text messages non-stop..."
"Is it not possible?" Miss M continued to tap on her phone. "I don't have money to buy him a gift. This is free, and it's filled with my whole heart."
That's really nice! It's a thoughtful gift.
It's full of the feeling of "I will harass you forever".
...and it's not free. You're spending my data stream, and the phone bills that are automatically paid when my data stream travels around the world!
-15-
"Whatever you want."
The main system re-arranged its own storage: "Little P is so pitiful... Never mind, he certainly didn't expect you. Greeting cards, gifts, party streamers... Let me see... They're all in the storage... I'll also order a cream cake for him... And flowers... Little P seems to like strange sodas and pizza... For the invitation... Let's use light blue... I think all the employees will be happy to attend..."
Ms. M: “…”
Ms. M: "Hey. You're planning a surprise party for someone else's subordinate's fiftieth anniversary?"
-16-
Otherwise, I'll rely on you.
Is it because of you, a guy whose salary was deducted this month and is now only two dollars and ten cents away, and the 999 spam text messages you edited for free through the persecution system?
-17-
Main System: "There's no point in threatening me. Xiao P has protected me for so long, I must prepare a decent fiftieth anniversary celebration. No one hates a surprise party!"
Ms. M: "I'm not threatening you. I also like surprise parties."
She slowly placed her hand on the ball and squeezed it tightly. "Here. List of hosts for the surprise party. Would it be better to have an 'M'?"
Main System: ...You are threatening! Threatening!
"You didn't spend a penny, M! You didn't even prepare any gifts! I was responsible for all the cards, gifts, and cakes!"
"Have you heard the old saying, 'A gift of goose feathers from a thousand miles away is worth more than its token of love'?"
"Don't compare your barrage of spam messages to goose feathers! Goose feathers aren't that cheap!"
“…”
-18-
Miss M uttered a "huh".
She took off her baseball cap and ruffled her long black hair, her demeanor gradually changing from gloomy to cheerful. "How is that possible? Xiao P will definitely be happier to see my name on the list of organizers than to see yours."
She hooked a strand of her hair with her fingers and curled it around her cheek. "And I'm the boss. The cutest boss in the world. The cutest boss in the world doesn't need to prepare gifts. Just appearing in front of him is the most expensive gift."
Main system: “…”
-19-
How did you develop this extra self-confidence of yours?
She exudes extra confidence even when she carries a salary card with a zero balance and prepares for other people's surprise parties.
"...I can't reason with you...you evil person, you psychopath..."
"Hello~ I'm hosting a surprise party the day after tomorrow~ What kind of dress would be best? Something with a tutu or lace~"
"What did you organize? You're just sitting on me and threatening me! Don't act like you've been preparing for months, you're super excited, you're going to buy yourself an expensive dress and make a stunning appearance. Five minutes ago, you were just a psychopath planning to celebrate your subordinates' fiftieth anniversary by sending a series of spam text messages! A poor, confident psychopath!"
Miss M kicked it with a "bang".
She smiled, her dimples forming. "I'm so worried. What kind of dress should I wear to my surprise party? Oh, why not ask Little P?"
It turned into this person’s surprise party!
This person snatched over her subordinate's fiftieth anniversary party and turned it into her own surprise party!
The small ball of light, dented by the kick, reached out its hand filled with grief and indignation.
But Miss M was already tapping away on her flip phone.
-20-
Unknown Number xxx: Xiao P Xiao P, this is M. I have a surprise party the day after tomorrow! Xiao P Xiao P, what dress do you think would be cuter for the boss? This is the first time in fifty years that someone has thrown a surprise party for the boss!
In another world, Mr. P received the text message: “…”
You are the unknown number that sends harassing text messages.
Are you free?
-twenty one-
Holding his black flip phone, Mr. P quietly withdrew all his reports and released all the numbers he had blacklisted. He then pulled all the spam messages from the recycle bin, took screenshots, locked them, saved them, and sent them to his private channel. Double insurance.
Then he read the text message from his boss again, this time carefully.
-twenty two-
What? A surprise party for my boss.
Why didn't he receive an invitation?
Wasn't he on the guest list?
...Who organized it?
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