-1-
Two days later, in the system world.
WI70 area.
【Tequila Paradise】Bar.
The round robot bartender was scrubbing round glasses alone, with the signal light above his head flashing steadily.
-2-
This is a bar that Miss M would never go to for fun.
Because all the employees in the bar are robots, there is only a long wooden bar where people can sit and drink, and there is no stage for dancing. Moreover, the lights in this bar are not dazzling at all. Under the retro orange lights of the last century, the background music is the BGM of the video game "Dragon Quest".
...Who is going to a bar to have fun and enjoy the background music of old video games?
There was no one, no dancing, and under the dim light were the characteristic apathetic signals of the robot employees. If it was positioned as a high-end bar, the background music of "Dragon Quest" was playing, and ramen, okonomiyaki and curry rice were served.
-3-
In Ms. M’s words, “Only a psychopath would go to a bar like this.”
...This is a bar that can be certified as mentally ill by a mental patient. It's so unique.
After her review was published in the magazine published by the Operations Department, many employees heard about it and came to try "that crazy bar that even M thinks is crazy" -
As a result, most of them failed and collapsed outside the store.
Because, at Tequila Paradise, there are three more rules, etched in oversized letters on a metal plaque nailed outside the shop.
-4-
[No smoking.
No mating allowed.
No drunken behavior.
Otherwise, forced cleaning mode will be activated immediately. *smiley face* All staff wish you a happy life.]
-5-
Guest: How can I have a good time? Seeing these horrible rules and this ambiguous "forced cleaning mode," how can I have a good time?
-6-
Why would robots open a bar anyway? Why would a bunch of chubby robots who live off energy data and can't even take human form open a bar?
This kind of extremely asexual bar will definitely go bankrupt! It will definitely!
——However, to this day, this bar has not closed down.
As for why... even though the rules are strange, few employees are willing to come...
-7-
"A Tequila Sunrise and a bowl of beef ramen."
Someone said this, sitting down at the wooden bar. "Also, can I see the menu? I heard the boss has come up with some new recipes. That's amazing."
...But there are always a few loyal customers who patronize here regularly.
"Is the new menu written here... Hmm... Scrambled eggs with seaweed, grilled chicken thighs with mustard sauce... This 'Hell Spicy Octopus Parfait' sounds delicious. I'd like another serving of this spicy parfait, please."
Although the bar's loyal customers are strange.
Taste and flavor, all aspects are strange.
-8-
After receiving the order, the robot bartender slowly put down the cleaned cup, busy himself behind the bar for a while, and then brought a glass of orange drink.
Because the person who placed the order was one of the store's most regular customers, it not only brought the drink, but also displayed a facial expression on its electronic display screen.
^-^: "Your Tequila Sunrise."
The guest bowed his head silently.
In the orange drink, the orange pulp was shaking gently.
Only the orange was shaking.
“…Is this orange juice?”
^-^: "Your Tequila Sunrise."
"Is this pure orange juice? Is it orange pulp? Not only is there no colorful syrup, but there's also no trace of tequila."
^-^: "Your Tequila Sunrise. Robots don't lie."
"Oh, no. I just saw you at the bar, using your tweezers to open the bottle of Orange O'Drawn. And you only opened that one bottle. The big one labeled Orange O'Drawn. You didn't even touch the bottle labeled Tequila."
^-^: "Your Tequila Sunrise. A Tequila Sunrise made especially for you. Because you have less than 180 years of service and are a minor, you cannot drink alcohol. Juice is the best choice."
“…”
-9-
Mr. P looked deeply, deeply at the pure orange juice in front of him.
——It’s okay for other colleagues, but why do even robots assume that he can’t drink?
And what exactly is the standard for 180 years of service? Should it be rounded up to 18 years in human terms? If I were to round it up, I'd only be 4.9 years old now. I don't need to work at all, I just need to prepare for kindergarten.
"Tomorrow is my fiftieth anniversary," he said, looking at the orange juice. "I came here because I received your congratulatory text messages and the new menu... I thought you had some gifts prepared."
As a result, I couldn't even drink alcohol.
The robot bartender's signal light flashed.
"Yes. Happy 50th anniversary."
After saying that, it gently raised its tweezers hand, picked up a small children's flag, and gently inserted it into the orange juice in front of Mr. P.
-10-
Mr. P: It’s the fiftieth anniversary, not the fifth birthday.
-11-
"Hahaha, how pitiful, you're still the same..."
The second regular customer who walked into the bar sat down next to him and pulled the orange juice in front of him with familiarity: "It's so pitiful, P. Not only the idiots in the maintenance department, but even the robots are forcing you to drink juice."
"Hey, boss, one Tequila Sunrise and one Paradise. Serve him the Tequila Sunrise—I ordered it, so add more alcohol."
Mr. P turned his face to the side.
The second regular customer, who came uninvited, patted him on the shoulder.
"Long time no see, P. Happy 50th anniversary?"
-12-
"Hello, legendary handsome guy. It hasn't been long since we last met. The last time we met was at the headquarters meeting, right?"
Mr. P pondered: "Have you been staying in the system world for too long recently?"
——As I mentioned before, Mr. P’s friend in the purchasing department is a meticulous and reliable person.
Mr. P had borrowed a uniform through his channel, and because of a certain incident and because he often changed his ID to strange numbers, Mr. P always remembered this friend as a "legendary handsome guy."
...It's a bit like an online name, and it seems a bit intentional that I can't remember the name.
But Mr. P and the legendary handsome guy were almost the same batch of new employees, with similar qualifications and personalities...
So, we get along very well with each other and have a really good relationship.
——This is reflected in the fact that the two of them happened to be the only two regular customers of the Tequila Paradise bar.
-13-
In a way, the taste is the same.
-14-
...Ah, but because the work of the purchasing department is often assigned abroad, Mr. P and this friend usually communicate online, and over time they got used to calling each other by their online names.
"Legendary handsome guy" is much easier to remember than numbers.
It was definitely not intentional.
How could an angel not remember the name of his best friend?
-15-
"Oh, by the way, my [886] ID is now changed to [Wu]. You can call me Mr. Wu."
"Okay, Legendary handsome guy."
"...Did you do this on purpose?"
"No, legendary handsome guy."
"...Forget it, there's no need to be so entangled in addressing you and me."
"Okay, handsome legendary man. Why did you stay in the system world for so long this time?"
886——Mr. Wu——No, from now on, for the sake of convenience, just call him the legendary handsome guy, it’s easy to remember——
The legendary handsome man shrugged his shoulders. "You know, ever since the former head of our purchasing department defected and disappeared, I've been vying for the position of head... The purchasing department earns a lot of energy, so the competition for the position of head is particularly fierce."
so.
Mr. P said, “Actually, the energy from the Horrible Maintenance Department is also quite profitable.”
Legendary handsome guy: "Everyone knows that you're number one on the income rankings... Hey, how much do you actually earn?"
-16-
Mr. P smiled and said, "Even if we're friends, it's not very convenient to ask about this, legendary handsome man."
"...Haha, why? Is there any channel that needs to be concealed? Reveal it, you and I, who is with whom..."
"No, there's no need to hide it." Mr. P took the Tequila Sunrise the robot brought him again and took a sip. "I just haven't calculated it carefully. I don't know if you ask me. Besides, it's very troublesome to calculate it. It's after get off work, and I don't want to deal with troublesome things."
“…”
"Besides, if you calculate your income and expenses clearly, you will be tempted to be frugal and save diligently."
Mr. P thought of something, and a look of lingering fear flashed across his face. "I never save money. You know, I heard a bloody lesson a while ago. Those who diligently save money are likely to have their wives expect them to die early so they can inherit the estate directly."
The legendary handsome man who worked hard to save money, died early, and ultimately inherited his estate directly: "..."
"Really? Which lesson did you hear?"
"Hahahaha, I can't remember clearly. Maybe it's recorded in a book called 'Don't Get Married'."
“…”
-17-
No, you obviously heard it from W.
Are you showing me off as a success story, that woman?
You said you were my loyal partner who would never marry, but you were secretly bragging to others about how happy you were about inheriting my estate?!
…No, although she hadn't concealed it at all… She'd been eating braised pork ribs in front of him before he died, and she'd even gone outside to set off fireworks when he was finally alive…
That woman.
-18-
Thinking of this, the legendary handsome guy grabbed the signature cocktail [Paradise] served by the robot and drank it in one gulp.
Mr. P's eyes changed slightly as he looked at him, as if he had noticed something quite keenly at this moment.
——But, the lighting here is so dim, the atmosphere here is so vague, and it is difficult to see any changes in his calm light blue eyes even if they are close enough to kiss.
The legendary handsome guy who was drinking alone beside him didn't notice anything.
Let Mr. P's changing eyes settle quietly.
-19-
"Be careful."
As always, he only heard Mr. P say in a calm tone, "There are too many different kinds of liquor mixed in [Paradise]. You drank too quickly."
The hot wine passed through my throat and sent a burning sensation through my stomach.
The legendary handsome man couldn't help but laugh hoarsely. "It's okay, it's okay. Do you think I'm you? The poor kid who's always been forced to drink juice by his colleagues... surely he never had the chance to taste strong liquor directly, right? This isn't something that should be mixed with juice or placed in a beautiful glass. It should be sipped directly... Hahaha, this stuff, the more you drink, the happier you are..."
Mr. P thought about it.
"That's true. I've never tasted liquor like that before."
-20-
After all, he has no interest in real alcohol. He just likes colorful, varied cocktails that can be arranged and combined endlessly. Tasting them is like tasting the strange snacks that are constantly released in convenience stores.
It's like a butterbeer with creamy bubbles and a tequila sunrise with orange and red.
Also, strong liquor...
If you drink too much, you'll smell like alcohol.
A man who smells strongly of alcohol will stink.
Miss M has a keen sense of smell, and she doesn't want the smell of alcohol to take away the shampoo she likes on him.
-twenty one-
"How about it? Want to try it? It'll feel great if you drink it in one gulp, hehe..."
While he was thinking, the legendary handsome guy had already downed his second glass - the special treatment for regular customers who ordered "Paradise" was seamless refills. The calm robot behind the bar had turned into a crazy robot pouring drinks mercilessly -
Mr. P watched him silently as he finished his second and third cups.
"I won't try. My boss is out shopping today and wants to pick out a birthday gift for me."
Legendary handsome guy: "..."
"After eating the beef ramen, I went back to the dorm. I didn't want to accept her gift while reeking of alcohol."
Legendary handsome guy: "..."
Mr. P spoke more and more, and the background board's pika pika light shone brighter and brighter. "By the way, I guess that gift was my new earrings. When I was cleaning the coffee table yesterday, I saw that she had cut out a page from a magazine. On that page, besides a set of particularly tacky peach-colored underwear, there was only a pair of earrings... They were little black ghost earrings, and there were pink hearts around the neck. Very cute..."
Legendary handsome guy: "..."
-twenty two-
The legendary handsome guy put the wine glass on the bar with a "thump".
That's too much.
...Although he originally came here to meet him with the impure purpose of "trying his luck and seeing if he could test this guy", this was too much!
We're friends after all! How could this happen?
-twenty three-
"Hey, you're wearing these black and pink earrings given to you by your female boss. Don't you feel any shame at all?" He chuckled, his face full of criticism. "You're a grown man. Not only do you have a lot of earrings, but you're also wearing these little black and pink ghosts."
"What's the matter? This is a gift from my boss. He gave it to me personally. Have you ever been given a gift by anyone?"
“…”
"Oh, sorry, I forgot your boss has defected and disappeared."
Mr. P brightly held up a finger and shook it. “Well, by analogy, have you ever been given a gift by your wife herself?”
“…”
"Oh, sorry, I forgot you don't have a wife now. Although I don't either... Haha, forget it, what a stupid analogy."
“…”
-twenty four-
He must have done it on purpose.
...Although it's impossible for him to know all the hidden secrets of my past, it sounds like he did it on purpose!
How can you say such sinister words with such an innocent expression!
Could an angel unintentionally unleash such a terrifying chain of critical hits? This is too much!!
-25-
The legendary handsome guy drank the fifth glass of [Paradise] in one gulp. The strong liquor or anger almost made him unable to breathe.
But, in the end, as an extremely shrewd businessman, he still controlled his facial expression and showed a silly drunk face.
"Hey... come have a drink with me... Psst... you're really going too far... I finally get together with my friends, and this is really going too far..."
What are you talking about.
Mr. P took out the chopsticks from the chopstick holder and took the bowl of noodles brought by the robot waiter.
"I'm just here for beef noodles today. And you don't look like you're here to kill time and have a few drinks. You haven't even ordered a side dish, and you've already had five drinks."
-26-
"Is it bitter wine?"
-27-
The legendary handsome guy slowly buried his head in his arms, as if he was so drunk that he couldn't even lift his head up.
"Ah... P... Let's go to another bar... There's only you and the robot here... Let's go to another nice and lively bar and date a beautiful stranger..."
"Sorry. Have you forgotten that I have no gender in the eyes of the opposite sex? And after eating the noodles, I have to go back and wait for the gift."
"...Don't be shy... I finally get to meet you in the system world, I'll treat you... Ah, let's go to that bar with all the beautiful women, right next to that love hotel U opened... Your fiftieth anniversary should be spent in bed! I even changed hotels seven times for my fiftieth anniversary myself - it's a tradition for the undead!"
Where is the tradition of debauchery anniversary festival?
Is this a weird tradition that relies on the fact that after death, one won't get sick or have kidney problems?
-28-
Mr. P drank a whole glass of Tequila Sunrise without taking a breath.
"I'm sorry. I'm still a short-sighted underage employee and can't participate in such traditions."
"...P...play with me...let's...play together...beautiful girl..."
"You've been drinking too much bitter wine. You've been spouting more and more nonsense."
After finishing his interesting cocktail, Mr. P calmly squeezed ketchup onto his ramen and slowly stirred it all together. “Although I won’t interfere with my friends’ private lives, self-degradation and bitter wine won’t relieve the feeling of heartbreak.”
Legendary handsome guy: "..."
What nonsense.
Legendary handsome guy: "Self-degradation is what women do, right? I just play with beautiful women every night after get off work and have a carefree vacation."
Mr. P: "A man who spends his days fooling around outside is also self-indulgent, because neither strange beauties nor alcohol can truly heal you. Compared to these boring things, skiing, mountaineering, and bungee jumping are better... If you keep going like this, you'll get sick, not just physically but mentally as well."
Legendary handsome guy: "...No, I'm already undead. I won't get sick no matter how much I fool around."
Mr. P: "I've already told you that mental illness can lead to illness. And are you a ghost from ancient feudal society? Sometimes your thoughts are so old-fashioned."
Where is the freedom? It is mixed with boring things.
-29-
He is.
...If I hadn't been a double agent for the Eternal Life Society, if I hadn't felt something was amiss and hadn't come here specifically to test you...
He must roar out.
Roar loudly next to this guy's ears, which are full of jingling sounds.
...This guy who even happily boasts about "going to wear black and pink earrings"! In my time, you would have been burned to death as a monster, you know!
-30-
The legendary handsome guy raised his head from his arms sullenly and drank his seventh glass of [Paradise].
"I'm sorry. I was drunk and said something out of turn. My thinking is really old-fashioned. Please be kind and let me go."
"There's nothing to let go of. You misunderstood. I actually have no problem with the undead's attitude towards private life."
Mr. P said gently, "It seems like every undead enjoys this way of relieving stress after work. They all seem to be fooling around night after night, seeking out all sorts of one-night stands, deceiving each other with sweet talk, and then treating them like disposable trash after use... I think this is normal, because the undead world is like this, and it can't be judged by real human standards. Of course, this doesn't stop me from hoping for revenge on undead like you. A revenge that will be remembered forever."
Legendary Handsome Guy: I think I said something a little out of place just now. This person, speaking in a gentle, angelic tone, must have said it naturally.
"But, for now, we are friends."
Mr. P stopped him from raising his tenth glass of [Paradise] and drinking it.
-31-
"If you're heartbroken, your friends will probably tell you not to waste yourself and drink less bitter wine."
“…”
Mr. P patted his shoulder, his blue eyes very gentle: "Even though you can't drink, as a friend, I will chat with you."
-32-
...Truly, an invulnerable angel.
Well-deserved reputation.
It seems that if I don't reveal some of the real stuff on my side, I won't be able to find out his flaws.
-33-
"Hey. I'm asking you."
Half drunk and half sober, he grasped Mr. P's arm, like a drowning man pulling down the arm of a rescuer.
"Have you ever been abandoned by your wife?"
-34-
Mr. P looked at him, without trance or pity, his expression had the healing feeling unique to an angel, as if he could safely reveal all his secrets in front of him.
——Even at this moment when I encounter this problem, it is the same.
"No."
He said, smiling slightly: "As an employee, I don't remember anything at all."
-35-
Moreover, even if he had been married before his death...
-36-
"No. I'm not the type to be left there by my 'wife' and then look at her back and cry helplessly."
Now that I can find her again...
Where does "abandoned" come from?
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