-1-
"Newcomer, what a coincidence to meet you so early in the morning, hey——"
-2-
"Happy New Year?"
A loud slap landed, and Mr. P staggered. He even hugged the briefcase tightly and gasped.
-3-
"...Good morning, senpai. Happy New Year. But could you please modify the way you greet me?"
Mr. T from the Business Maintenance Department laughed heartily.
"Time to get some exercise, new guy!"
Mr. T is a very tall and strong man, who is mainly responsible for maintaining career lines involving fighting, boxing and other elements.
This colleague's only interests and hobbies are fitness, fitness and fitness. It is said that there is only protein powder in his private locker at the company.
…Although my appearance after becoming an employee is frozen at a certain moment, no matter how much I exercise in the system world, I won't grow or develop again…
But just looking at Mr. T, you can tell that he also loved fitness during his lifetime.
Judging from his physique alone, he seemed able to break ten delicate girls like Miss M.
-4-
Of course the opposite is true.
Miss M's delicate fists could hammer Mr. T and his toned muscles into the wall a hundred times over.
-5-
...Mr. P witnessed it with his own eyes, it really was a hundred times, the number was very exact.
-6-
And because he pointed out that "a woman who can lift a hammer weighing more than 4,000 kilograms should not be considered a frail girl", Mr. P later encountered Miss M's frail fist.
The boss was always particularly devoted to him, so in the end the goal was successfully shifted, T survived first, but P did not.
-7-
...Since then, Mr. T has treated Mr. P as his lifelong brother. He would give him protein powder during every festival and even gave him ten pairs of dumbbells during the Spring Festival one year.
By the way, those ten pairs of dumbbells later became Miss M's weapons.
Because she was curious and played with it for a while, she was caught by Mr. P and whined and said, "It's too heavy, I can't lift it, little P, help me lift it." Mr. P replied:
"You can lift a hammer over 4,000 kilograms, what nonsense are you talking about? I'm busy, you lift it yourself."
...Don't refuse Miss M when she is holding something heavy, this is the lesson Mr. P learned that time.
In short, Mr. P doesn't like dumbbells.
-8-
He also didn't like the protein powder that Mr. T strongly recommended, because no matter how much protein powder he took, he couldn't beat Miss M.
It's common sense to eat something good before you die.
Mr. P dies once a day, so he has to eat something good every day.
Mr. P has never thought about whether it is a bit sinful to work overtime until the early morning and then eat sour soup beef noodles for supper.
This is not because "my appearance is fixed anyway, and my figure won't change no matter how much I eat."
It’s because “I’m going to encounter an accident in a few hours anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”
He loses a lot of blood on average every day, and his daily calorie consumption is completely sufficient.
Don't be afraid even if your appearance is not fixed.
-9-
"I understand your obsession with 'eating something nice', Little P. But isn't it a bit too much to eat sizzling squid in front of that client just now?"
"Nothing too much, Miss M. You see it extends its tentacles in approval."
"Those are its tentacles, stiffened after death."
"That's also extending a tentacles, Ms. M. The customer is very satisfied. I learned the ancient language, and 'Great R'lyeh' is a compliment to the grilled squid."
"... Never mind, it smells so good. I want some too, Xiao P, feed me."
"You have both hands..."
"*Sword drawing sound*"
"I'll feed you."
-10-
Back to this morning.
"Newbie, have you tried the new flavor of protein powder? Hahaha, do you think it tastes bad again...you!"
Mr. T's hearty laughter was followed by another slap on the shoulder, and Mr. P gasped again.
...In addition to enthusiastically recommending fitness to him, Mr. T always greets him enthusiastically every time they meet.
This also troubles Mr. P.
Mr. T: "A new year means a new beginning! Get some exercise, newbie! You clerks are in such poor shape! How come every time I see you, you can't resist this slap in the face?"
Mr. P: “…Haha.”
-11-
Because every time you hit the fresh scratches left by my boss.
It really hurts.
-12-
"The seniors are particularly excited today."
He took pictures of me twice in a row.
Mr. P smiled and moved his aching shoulder, moving it away from Mr. T's palm. "Did anything good happen?"
"Needless to say, today is the first day of the new year, a new year, a new beginning—"
"Senior, are you celebrating New Year's Day?"
Mr. P thought for a moment and said, "That's strange. It seems like the other seniors in the maintenance department don't really care."
In the system world, the changes of seasons and temperature during the day and night are all controlled by subsystems that imitate reality and follow the timekeeping habits of employees in real life.
Therefore, there is basically no need for something like an "astronomical calendar", and the status of those festivals commemorating climate change is very embarrassing.
As for the "New Year" that Mr. T mentioned this morning - it refers to the real "New Year's Day", which means that the calendar in reality jumps from December 31 to January 1.
However, employees in the system world cannot ask each other "how old are you this year", they can only ask "how long have you been dead?". It is obviously unrealistic to celebrate festivals every year according to the habits of the living. The only festival that everyone will formally celebrate is their own memorial day.
And it is not just a single memorial day, it is counted by the "decade".
Employees rarely remember "what day it is today". They usually record time according to "today is the first day of employment" or "today is the first week of work". In the concept of most employees, "New Year" is equivalent to "after the annual meeting, taking paid annual leave."
-13-
So, in the system world, as long as you are willing, you can even hear your colleagues say "Happy New Year" to you every day.
Because everyone chooses to use their annual leave at different times, and the time they return to work after annual leave is also different.
Of course, employees are not opposed to celebrating holidays, as they always make people feel alive.
However, just like taking annual leave, everyone has different habits...
Mr. P prefers the complex and precise lunar calendar. He specifically collects the changes in the orbits of celestial bodies in reality, converts them into data, and calculates the cycles himself... Then he celebrates the Spring Festival every year according to the lunar calendar he calculated.
Although this was partly due to his frequent dealings with the parameters of time and space, the main reason was that he hated Christmas.
And I like eating dumplings and noodles very much.
-14-
Miss M loves Christmas very much. She often says that her subordinates who calculate the lunar calendar are crazy.
She also often bought Christmas turkeys, Christmas puddings, Christmas cream cakes and other foods, and stuffed them with all the customer complaints that she had hidden and not dealt with.
Give it to Mr. P and wish him a Merry Christmas.
There's a reason Mr. P hates Christmas.
-15-
"...Ahem, of course I was joking."
Mr. T scratched his head. "Something good did happen, a very good thing. I was so excited last night that I couldn't sleep. I flipped through several calendars before I realized that today is New Year's Day."
"Newbie, my business volume is finally full, and my dream of joining the company can come true today!"
He grinned and gave a thumbs-up. "From today on, Senior, I can leave the System World! My 121-year career has come to a perfect end!"
……ah.
Mr. P also smiled and said, "That's indeed a great thing. Congratulations. You can now go out and enjoy the real New Year."
-16-
Employees' desire to join the company.
That is, [last wish].
-17-
Mortgage your soul to the main system, and as an employee, continue to work hard and diligently after death, constantly completing department tasks, and earning salary increases and bonuses -
It's certainly not that they love their work.
Which normal person wants to continue working after death? What's more, this job does not allow retirement or resignation, and the employment contract is basically a contract of selling oneself.
The living are involuntarily rolling in for a better future. They are all dead, and even if they roll under the scythe of M, they cannot get a cemetery in the real world.
Then what's the point of rolling?
...Every employee becomes an [employee] in order to enable the main system to realize its [last wish].
Similar to the energy exchange that bosses seek for repairs, the main system promises to fulfill employees' [last wishes], but the more difficult the [last wishes], the stricter the performance requirements, and the longer the working hours.
-18-
【Last wish】Once it is fulfilled.
The employee can now officially resign.
Leave the bizarre world of the system, no longer be oppressed by strange customers and M, return to your own world, and turn into a handful of yellow earth.
-19-
...What? Reincarnation? Rebirth?
Death won't joke with you.
Eternal tranquility is the outcome that every [employee] deserves and what they desire from the bottom of their hearts.
For those who should have died long ago and have been working continuously, returning to eternal sleep after fulfilling their last wishes is the best happy ending.
The souls that are chosen by the system world will never imagine such a thing as immortality.
Something that can be resurrected infinitely is certainly not considered life.
Only that which can die is alive.
All employees sincerely wish their colleagues who have officially left the company a happy and healthy life.
-20-
"I have no memory."
Mr. P heard Miss M say this when he pushed the door open and entered the office.
"The price of a soul entering the system world after death is to pay with all of its memories of life."
Reset memory, start over, and live purely as an employee.
"System employees should be independent of all worlds, acting as a neutral, objective data point without interference."
Mr. P closed the door and placed the document bag on the table. "This is clearly stated in the induction handbook... Good morning, Ms. M. Why are you repeating this all of a sudden?"
Miss M sat on the swivel chair with her legs bent. Upon hearing this, she pressed the ballpoint pen in her hand against her cheek, creating a cute dimple-like depression.
"Good morning, Xiao P. I'm looking at T's resignation application. It was sent from the main system this morning."
Oh, the resignation application from the maintenance department must be approved by her.
-twenty one-
Will I ever be able to successfully quit my job?
-twenty two-
"T's work hours appear to have met the quota. Since the main system has decided to fulfill his last wish, his resignation application should be no problem. Do you have any questions?"
"Hmm... I'm just a little curious. There's been very little turnover in the maintenance department, so this is the first time since Xiao P started that he's seen an employee's last wish come true... What do you think?"
Mr. P blinked, walked to the window, and naturally sorted out the vase that his boss had knocked over last night.
"Sincere congratulations? You're so lucky to have successfully resigned? ... Or do you want me to prepare a farewell party? Then order a celebratory cake for T... But he's a fitness enthusiast, so I guess he doesn't like cream..."
"…That's not it. Aren't you curious?"
Miss M pushed the document in her hand away and swivel chair spun around.
"[Employees] clearly have no memory of their own lives," she said, poking the cap of her ballpoint pen with her cheek, "yet they desperately want [their] last wishes to be fulfilled. They're even willing to work here for hundreds of years to do so."
Miss M said softly, "It's very strange."
-twenty three-
Mr. P paused as he held the vase.
"Not surprising."
After a while, he put the tulip that fell on the windowsill into the water: "There are always some things that do not need to be remembered."
Memory is gone. There will be subconscious.
Consciousness disappears. There will be cravings.
A strong desire...
-twenty four-
“Forgetting oneself is something that no one can forget.”
Mr. P turned his head and stared at the dimple on Ms. M's face that was made by the ballpoint pen. "This thing is a [last wish], right?"
...Is that so?
"What about you, Little P? Your [Last Wish] seems completely different from what you said."
The boss had an indescribable expression on his face: "I saw the last wish you wrote on your resume the other day...are you serious?"
"Of course." Mr. P smiled. "The will was registered with the main system. How could it be wrong?"
Did he actually fill it out seriously?
-25-
Miss M was even more confused: "Who would write 'I hope all worlds will be at peace forever' as their last wish?"
"Do you want to stay here and work for the main system forever? Such a wish is impossible even if all worlds end, right?"
Where did this peerless holy father come from?
To write such a last wish on a resume means that the person is essentially mentally ill, right?
-26-
"Everyone is different, Miss M."
"I don't see how your last wish could have such profound significance for you personally..."
Mr. P's blue eyes were light and soft: "Who knows."
"…It's so complicated. I don't quite understand."
Ms. M leaned back in her chair and said, "People are really complicated."
Mr. P did not respond. He walked over and took the ballpoint pen from her hand.
-27-
"Don't be so cute, Miss M. This is work time, and you went too far last night. I won't promise you another one anytime soon."
……whispering sound.
"I'm not being overly extreme."
M muttered, "It's obviously you, Little P, who's the one who's going too far. I told you before, I hate—"
"'Time is too short, I like to enjoy the process as long as possible.' I know, you said that."
Mr. P carefully put the ballpoint pen into his drawer. “But I also said, no during working hours, no in the office.”
"...Then you can't deliberately speed up!" Miss M narrowed her eyes. "Four minutes, Xiao P, you definitely did it on purpose. You clearly knew how to prolong my—"
"Yes, so I got my comeuppance. My back still hurts this morning. ... Do you always have to dig so deep? And after leaving the office, I clearly completed the follow-up..."
"snort."
-28-
Mr. P looked at Ms. M again, who waved her pointed nails at him threateningly.
...He knew too well how painful those tickles were.
If the back and shoulders could be personified, they would have cried all night long.
Mr. P sat down at his desk. Instead of opening the command input screen, he opened the online shopping interface.
On the first day of the new year, Mr. P sat at his work desk and browsed carefully, facing his boss who was playing on a swivel chair.
-29-
If I order nail clippers now, when will they arrive?
...Although Miss M hates having her nails cut...Oh, this one comes in pink?
Pink cat nail clippers...
Um.
She would probably agree to use it.
-30-
If you don't agree, you'll just die again, no big deal.
The author has something to say: I bought my boss special nail clippers for cats. It seems that this subordinate is really used to going die every day.
Happy New Year everyone! This is the update for the 2nd, an early broadcast to celebrate New Year's Day!
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