-1-
Her sister had told her this countless times.
You need to find someone, you need to have a partner. You can't continue to be closed off like this. You can't exclude all existence except me.
Especially objects.
Her sister always urges her to find a partner.
Whether my sister is alive or in her dreams.
-2-
There's a subtle difference here though -
The elder sister in the dream had been emphasizing to her recently, "Hurry up and find a reliable partner and stay away from mad dogs," as if she was being targeted by a mad dog.
Moreover, if it really is a mad dog, how could it retreat so easily just because of a "reliable person"?
...Even if we take a step back, Miss M is not afraid of dogs. She has always had a slight liking for dogs. So much so that when she was doing repairs in a world with virus bugs and slaughtering the source of infection on a large scale, she even placed a small flower on the body of an infected dog.
Even if she had to step over a mountain of rotting human corpses, she would still put a small flower on the head of a dead dog.
The dog is worth the small flower.
Worth much more than humans.
-3-
Besides, Miss M's only subordinates at present are good dogs specially trained by her. If there is a mad dog, just let Xiao P deal with it.
She can even stay nearby and watch the show and eat popcorn.
-4-
However, when she was alive, the real sister's statement was different from the sister in the dream.
When her sister was alive, she urged her to find a partner mainly to persuade her to "start a family", as if she could not survive without something that could be called a "home".
...So Miss M remained noncommittal. When her sister was alive, her way of dealing with things was to nod "hmm hmm" and then change the subject, specifically asking for a dish that required more effort to prepare.
Of course, she never made things difficult for her sister. Even if it was a "dishes that took more time to prepare", the dishes she would pester her sister to eat were usually just home-cooked dishes.
Miss M never complains about any food her sister brings to the table.
Although her sister would still nag her to find a partner while cooking, she still hoped that she would have enough to eat, be warm and be happy.
-5-
Besides, my sister lived in that era and environment, and was a beautiful woman who grew up receiving that kind of education.
She must have her own reasons for attaching so much importance to "partner" and "home".
——M didn’t even think that her sister was doing this was bad. Although she extremely hated those things, she knew very well that her aesthetics and concepts were so abnormal compared to ordinary humans.
If every human being deeply loathed the opposite sex, if every human being viewed beings other than themselves as insects, if every human being was utterly averse to contact, acquaintance, or interaction with beings other than themselves, and if every human being never remembered any person or encounter that passed through their lives...
Humanity will become extinct.
-6-
M did not blame humans for their fragility and weakness—of course, in her eyes, humans were indeed appallingly weak—
It's her own habits that are the problem.
...She knew very well that she had a problem. From the first day she met her sister, she knew that she was not a good person.
If her habits were applied to any individual living in a collective, it would definitely lead to the extinction of any collective or any race.
-7-
Please... Please... Please...
Well, she's a monster.
Without a doubt.
-8-
So M would never ask W to stay with him, nor would he ever want her to become a ghost.
She had imagined in her dreams at least a thousand times the conversations and games she had played with her sister—in the sunshine, in the courtyard, amid the rustling sounds of the trees in the yard—but she had never imagined once what her sister would look like after her death.
M couldn't even bear it and had thoughts of "after my sister died".
Imagine my sister becoming a ghost, imagine her crawling out of the grave with a lifelong wish that could never be fulfilled, her hand covered in blood, reaching out to something with paranoia and resentment...
-9-
I failed to protect her.
I made her like this.
[It's all because of me——If it weren't for me——]
【ah. 】
[Messed up again.]
-10-
M doesn't want to imagine that scene.
Last time, she failed to control her strength, and after seeing her sister like that in her dream, she poked her own eyes out in front of the mirror.
...She didn't look, didn't listen, didn't think, she couldn't have even a thought that "her sister was a ghost".
-11-
She and her sister.
Exactly the same face.
But they are not each other's reflections... they are two independent individuals.
-12-
So, once upon a time, Miss M miraculously tolerated too many things for W.
Although M cannot understand everything her sister pursues, she will never belittle her, resist her or exclude her.
My sister said she wanted to find a partner, she said she wanted to marry the right man, she said she wanted to start a family quickly, she said she had to be gentler with men, she couldn't look at them like they were trash, and she couldn't talk about them in the same tone as if they were garbage sorting...
Then she just listened and nodded.
-13-
At that time, M would even listen to his sister and sit down to drink tea with one of his suitors, and endure for three minutes not to splash the teacup on him.
In front of her sister, she either meowed or bleated like a lamb.
-14-
In her sister's sermons, which she always wanted to hammer into her head as common sense - also known as boring nagging in M's eyes - the object is a very important and very fragile existence.
First of all, there is no doubt that the target - the target in the sister is of course a man - undoubtedly has an "extraordinarily sensitive" self-esteem. We must protect his self-esteem, always pay attention to his dignity and his face, and help him create his own style of behavior in public...
Uh, look.
Her sister nags so much and so often that when Miss M talks about her "partner", she just comes up with a bunch of garbage.
She could even say things like, "Men need to be coaxed and pampered, and then flirted with from time to time, so that he can continue to indulge in his fantasy of you and be willing to spend all his savings on you."
-15-
...So, it turns out that M and W are indeed completely different beings.
In terms of practical application, W has indeed put all his theories on fishing into practice, but M...
cough.
She still feels that her sister is deeply in love with the gold shop owner and will remember him forever.
-16-
Moreover, M only remembered how to respect, cherish and protect her partner from W's long and unreserved indoctrination and teaching. She could easily recite a long paragraph of nonsense about cherishing, respecting and caring for her partner and building a family. M just didn't remember what W really wanted to teach her.
For example, the reason you treat your partner so well is because you want to trick your partner into spending money on you to buy anything you want.
For example, the reason why you pay so much attention to your partner is because you want to hook him to stay with you and be devoted to you, so that he will spend more money and invest more energy in you.
...The above are all the heartfelt teachings of Miss W out of the belief that "my sister cannot suffer any loss anyway". They are extremely subjective and do not represent objective truth.
-17-
In short, Miss M didn't learn any of the essentials.
She nodded, pretending to have listened to all her sister's teachings - in fact, she scoffed at everything and continued to be hostile to all humans equally -
As a result, a long, long, long time later, when she officially came up with the idea of "dating a partner".
Her sister's words "Cherish him" suddenly popped into her mind.
-18-
…Even though I was impatient and never agreed with my sister’s teachings, I listened to them all in the end.
Although M wanted to treat it like other pleasures he had found in the human world, just play with it casually and forget about it the next day.
Although M really didn't think that "dating" would mean anything or change anything, what kind of impact could a mere strange human boy have on her - she wasn't a child who took love seriously. It was just a relationship between the opposite sex driven by hormones, and the final outcome was rolling on the hotel bed to relieve stress.
Although she felt that [showing a gentle, considerate, and serious attitude] was extremely troublesome... What did "gentle, considerate, and serious" mean... When did she actually connect with these adjectives themselves... Did she need to correct herself at the soul level just to fall in love?
-18-
But, that's what my sister once said.
The desire to interact was also something I initiated.
Be responsible, be good to him, put aside the idea of having fun, and be more serious, more or less.
[Fun Stranger] has one day's stay privilege, and [Boyfriend] has two days' stay privilege... Isn't that super considerate?
M thought dizzily - she felt a little sleepy after drinking too much, and her eyelids were already feeling heavy.
My sister's words of "cherish", "serious", and "gentle" echoed along with Mr. P's soft voice asking if she could have some juice.
Shut up.
So noisy.
-19-
——M thought he had scolded the above two sentences——See, I said, instead of treating the person I am dating according to my sister's teachings, it would be faster for me to correct my own soul——
But in fact, she didn't say anything at all.
She just slowly fell to the side and buried her cheek in his shoulder.
"So sleepy..."
What came out was a soft, gentle murmur.
-20-
She was confused.
She is very happy.
She is very excited.
...Today is an exceptionally complicated day, and this person is an exceptionally complicated person.
Her intuition kept giving her warnings, humming and vibrating, almost to the point where it actually became the noise of her thoughts and disturbed her.
But on the other hand, every moment with him was so comfortable, natural and in tune with him.
My intuition says that this person is a trap.
My intuition also tells me that I am very familiar with him.
My intuition still says—
-twenty one-
I wanted to get him into the hotel.
This would prove that I was only experiencing the most superficial sexual attraction.
-twenty two-
...Intuition said too much, too much. My sister's previous teachings also kept popping out along with the sparkling wine. Miss M was annoyed and sleepy, and just wanted to lose her temper.
So she tugged at his sleeve.
"Drink some hot juice...you're too drunk tonight..."
So she tugged harder at his sleeve.
With a "ripping" sound, a piece of cloth was torn off.
-twenty three-
Mr. P: “…”
This is his favorite shirt so far.
I wore this outfit specially today to wait for her.
-twenty four-
…But, well, considering her strength, it was quite considerate of her not to drag me to the ground…
"how?"
Miss M muttered, "I'm sleepy."
"...If you're tired, go to sleep. I'll carry you. Let's go to the hotel next door..."
"No, I'm not going to the hotel. I'm sleepy."
-25-
Not only did she bury her face in it, but slowly, she leaned, squeezed, and pressed her whole body forward.
"I'm sleepy... I want to go to your house... Is that okay... yeah?"
-26-
Mr. P: “…”
It's only been half a month since we last met here.
This skillful and charming method of seduction—who taught her that?
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