Extra: Léon the Professional
Preface: Human world AU, has linkage, and is not related to the main text.
-1-
A certain year, a certain month, a certain day, a certain night.
The killer walked into a pet store.
-2-
The killer was wearing a long black trench coat and a pair of black boots. His long black hair was tied into a ponytail and hung down behind his head.
Although the killer is dressed coolly, the killer who walks into the pet store while shaking a ponytail and blowing bubble gum is not a killer who likes to act "cool".
-3-
She doesn't need to act cool; an FN57 pistol with a pink flower sticker on the grip is cool enough.
If that wasn't cool enough, nail guns, chainsaws, bayonets...she has it all.
Moreover, even with her bare hands, she could snap a grown man's neck in ten seconds - after all, that was her job, and she was pretty good at it.
You know, this killer's code name is [M], and [M] is recognized as the world's top lone killer.
-4-
However, on this drizzling early spring night, the killer armed with a pistol, a dagger, and a nail gun walked into a pet shop that was about to close, not to carry out a mission.
Because although she looks like a girl, she is already 31 years old this year.
Because although she is a killer, she has an ordinary sister who is a professional real estate agent.
...Because her ordinary sister got married more than ten years ago and currently has three adopted children. The youngest of the three children has finished the high school entrance examination, and the eldest has proposed to his girlfriend. There is even a possibility that she will get married with the baby and become a grandmother directly - but in the midst of the busyness, she turned around and found that her own sister didn't even have a partner.
-5-
...If you want to say that she has the ability to live a carefree life on her own, and the freedom to choose to remain single for life, that's fine too...
But the killer is really not good at taking care of himself.
The 31-year-old killer is a moonlighter who never saves money. His rent is three months in arrears on average. His private life outside of work is still spent dancing weird dances in weird bars, getting drunk, and finally falling asleep in the back alley of a weird bar.
It’s not that she has no suitors, but the last one, who was handsome and confident with black hair and black eyes, was shot in the head by her because “you are ugly”.
...So her sister was almost heartbroken.
In my dreams, after I died unexpectedly, my sister became old and had no one to rely on, and ended up in some miserable nursing home. Then, because she was in a whim to participate in a wheelchair racing competition, she hit her head against the bedroom door and died. Her body was discovered by an irresponsible caregiver eight days after her death.
-6-
M was quite amused when she learned about her nightmare. She laughed and said that it must be a fun way to die. Her sister laughed so hard that she wanted to beat her with a rolled-up newspaper.
This heartless and stupid sister.
So this real estate agent sister started an extremely massive war to urge M to get married - forcing M to go on 30 blind dates in a week -
The killer can twist the neck of an adult man in ten seconds, but she can't escape her sister's nagging about getting married.
-7-
What's more, at the end of the blind date, her sister was even more desperate than her.
At the blind date yesterday afternoon, the person I was supposed to meet had turned out to be a beautiful red-haired...woman.
M: “…”
M walked over, sat down, and looked at the beautiful woman for a while.
-8-
The scene was very embarrassing.
-9-
After a long pause, the red-haired beauty said coldly, "Indeed. My criteria for a blind date are that he's cool, handsome, good at fighting, tsundere, cute, and good at acting like a spoiled child."
M: "My requirements are simple. Just money for me to spend and good looks that please my eyes. My sister said you're the richest guy she knows. How about a deeper chat?"
“…”
“…”
"But I should have added the keyword 'male'."
"Ah, me too. So, are you a man..."
"no."
"Hehe, what a coincidence, I'm not either."
“…”
“…”
-10-
The redhead sighed, "I'm sorry, but my father forced me to come here. This is such a farce."
M immediately felt sympathy: "What a coincidence, I was forced to come here by my sister..."
"Actually, I already have a boyfriend. Miss, let me treat you to some chocolate cake to make up for it."
M immediately erased his empathy: "Oh."
-11-
What's going on? She's also a fallen woman who's being urged to get married by her elders, but she actually has a partner.
Tsk.
-12-
The red-haired beauty treated M to several large pieces of different kinds of chocolate cake until her boyfriend rushed in from the store door, with an expression of anger on his face as if he was about to explode after catching him cheating in bed.
So M ordered another large plate of lemon cheese tart, ate the lemon and coldly watched the red-haired beauty opposite her frantically trying to coax her boyfriend.
It’s better to just shoot a boyfriend who talks back and quarrels like this. It’s annoying just to hear that. She really still likes good guys.
...Or why not just shoot the two on the opposite side with two shots at once? What a quarrel between elementary school kids who are openly fighting and secretly showing off.
-13-
She is a single killer who has been urged to get married by her sister countless times. She has more than one gun on her and she can't stand seeing couples quarreling.
-14-
But the red-haired beauty bought her a chocolate cake and a lemon cheese tart, and M decided to eat them before considering shooting to take revenge on society.
As a result, after eating the lemon cheese tart, the red-haired beauty was urged to leave by an emergency call from the company. The red-haired beauty's boyfriend frowned and paid M's bill for his girlfriend.
Then he ordered a banana split for her and asked her in a roundabout way what she thought of the red-haired beauty, which showed how petty he was.
M, for the sake of the banana boat, once again suppressed the thought of shooting him dead: "My sister said she's super rich, and if she can get me, she can support a hundred of me. I like super rich people, regardless of gender."
The beauty’s boyfriend: “…”
-15-
So the beautiful girl’s boyfriend just gave her a business card.
"This guy, male, super rich, single, and recently in a hurry to find a partner. Miss, please try to stay away from my girlfriend."
-16-
M originally wanted to roll his eyes, but the other party handed him a photo.
That photo is very pleasing to the eye.
——So, at this moment, the killer staggered into a pet shop that was about to close.
-17-
She didn't really want to go on a blind date to find a partner, she just passed by and came in to enjoy the view.
-18-
As soon as I came in, I saw a Bengal tiger swallowing the guy's head in one bite.
And that guy was still praising the beautiful shape of the Bengal tiger's teeth in its bloody mouth, hahahaha.
-19-
M: “…”
M popped his bubble gum with interest and crossed his arms.
-20-
She watched for ten minutes, trying to see if the tiger would bite the guy to death - but the tiger seemed to be really tamed, and even when it held the guy's head in its mouth, it didn't bite him hard.
Just, always playing.
The young man was laughing the whole time and seemed to be having fun.
-twenty one-
It's hard to imagine anyone putting their head in a tiger's mouth for fun.
It's hard to imagine who could poke her like this, it feels super funny.
-twenty two-
So, ten minutes later, M walked over, picked up Tiger, and said, "Hello."
The young man's face emerged from under the tiger's mouth, his red eyes looking a little confused.
"Hello?"
...Well, the real person is more pleasing to the eye than the photo, with beautiful eyes like maple leaves.
M is quite satisfied.
-twenty four-
"I called you in advance. I arranged a blind date for you at four this afternoon."
"ah……"
The man turned his head and looked at the clock on the wall. M knew why he was looking at the clock: it was already 8:55, and she was nearly four hours late.
M did it on purpose. After all, she was the one who took the initiative to call the other party to make an appointment. The whole process from seeing the photo to taking the initiative to make an appointment was a bit impulsive and fast, which could be equated with the clichéd term "love at first sight" - so she didn't want to appear too eager and lose control.
Killers hate losing control, so no matter how beautiful the other person's red eyes are, she won't let herself become overly obsessed.
But when the man turned around, he didn't show any dissatisfaction.
"Hello. You must be working very hard so late. Please take a seat. I'll make you some coffee."
-25-
The young man seems to be a composer of some reputation, calling himself "Organ", but his interest is dangerous large animals. He recently ran a remote pet shop in the city, which kept a variety of banned animals.
...These are supposed to be banned animals, but they are kept here in large numbers. It is obvious that he is not just a law-abiding composer.
"I had no interest in cats," he said when introducing himself, "but after meeting Mimi a while ago, I found these dangerous big cats so fascinating."
M looked at the Bengal tiger lying in the cage behind him, wagging its tail. She was sure that the "Mimi" he was referring to was this thing.
"But Mimi is very restless... I guess it's because she's officially in estrus... So, for her well-being, I have to release her back into the forest in a week to find a mate. I brought her out of the forest last year... so she should be able to adapt well to the new environment..."
M raised an eyebrow. "Get it out? Did you steal the tigress's cubs?"
The pipe organ laughed "hahahahaha" for a while, then said, "No. I just ran into a hungry Mimi when I went to the forest to collect materials, and it chased me out."
-26-
Oh, so the tiger was originally an adult that was planning to bite off his head.
...Did this guy tame a grown tiger that was always trying to bite its head off in less than a year?
-27-
M sighed, "Are you sick?"
Organ shook his head. "My brother took me to see a doctor. I don't think I'm sick. The doctor said I just like to seek excitement."
M immediately felt the same way: "What a coincidence! My sister also took me to see a doctor! The doctor also thought I was probably not sick!"
"Really? That's great," the organist said with a smile. "Speaking of the elders, they always tend to worry about some inexplicable things, don't they?"
"Yeah," M muttered. "My sister actually thinks I'll have a wheelchair racing competition in a nursing home and die by hitting my head against a door. Will I lose a wheelchair racing competition? I'm sure I can handle a wheelchair."
"My brother thinks I'll eventually die at the hands of a tiger, lion, or leopard... or in a wild rainforest, a forbidden snowy mountain, or even in an uninhabited desert... I'm a composer, and I need inspiration... There's nothing I can do about it."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah! I'm always worried that I'll die inexplicably in an inexplicable place! And then there's the crazy pressure to get married!"
"Ah, I agree."
M sighed.
The organ didn't sigh, but he raised his hand to refill her coffee.
-28-
"But, to be honest, I'm under less pressure to get married than you are. Although my brother threatened to kill himself if I went out chasing inspiration again... he's quite timid and wouldn't die in front of me..."
He mused, "I'm in a hurry to find a partner now because my first love is getting married. I want to fully commit to a new relationship to clear my mind of that little secret crush that ended in vain."
M was a little surprised: "You're very frank. This is our first blind date, and you're actually talking about your first love to me?"
The organ laughed again. "Because I don't think I'd ever go on a blind date with you again. You're the most beautiful, unique girl I've ever met, and I find you incredibly charming—but on our first meeting, I ended up stuffing my head into a tiger's mouth and revealing myself to be a weirdo."
Hmm.
"Don't worry." M also laughed, "I think your debut is very attractive."
"Thank you. It's my pleasure."
"However, I do mind your mention of 'first love'. I don't like guys with a history of relationships."
"It's not a romantic history; it was just a one-sided crush from school. Besides, my first love wasn't the type to indulge in romantic relationships. She only recently decided to give up her single life and start looking for a partner—I heard it doesn't even matter if it's a man or a woman, just rich guys. Since she's gone from 'completely avoiding' to 'accepting everyone,' I figured I'd give it a try. Maybe there really is a chance for romance."
M: “…”
M: "Your first love sounds familiar."
-29-
The organ made no reply.
He smiled brightly.
"So, you need a partner right now?"
-30-
Killer M was shamefully moved.
She wanted to pull out a gun and put it against his shining smile, but she also wanted to kiss the corner of his upturned mouth.
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