-1-
The boy could not remember how he was sent there.
But he remembered that it seemed to be a peaceful and tranquil place, and there seemed to be a peaceful and tranquil courtyard.
There is a pure white stone sculpture in the courtyard, with pure white tulips blooming at its feet. The children behind the tulips are all wearing white skirts.
In that place, all children must wear skirts.
Some of the children in skirts had to sing and some had to dance.
There was also a child who was responsible for playing the organ when the children sang or danced. He was a very inconspicuous person.
He never appeared in any group photos, never appeared in any group activities, and even when he followed the ringing bell after morning class to go to lunch, other children would not call him.
...If you ask why, it seems that it is because he doesn't look good in a skirt.
-2-
Because all children look good in skirts.
The white skirts reveal their slender calves, undeveloped necks, and two small bumps on their bare backs...all the children look like angels.
But that child didn't look like that.
His skin was pale, and he always coughed when he spoke. When he walked, his shiny calves were not exposed under his skirt. The expression on his face was like the stone sculpture in the center of the courtyard, calm and mature.
That guy didn't look like a child, nor did he have any vitality.
So, he looked really ugly in that white dress.
"Too pale," "Looks like he has tuberculosis," "I don't know when he'll die," "He's just a walking corpse"—
-3-
Those strange adults who were either wearing black robes or jeweled masks said so.
They lifted their fans or long gloves, and behind those strange, silky objects, they moved closer to each other, exchanging comments about the children.
Then, they would choose the children they liked, and the lively and pure angels would disappear in that peaceful place.
-4-
No one knew where the missing children had gone, but the unfamiliar adults were all very kind.
Every time they sing or dance, there are always some unfamiliar adults sitting in the audience.
If you perform well, you will get candy, flowers, a warm and intimate pat on the head, and the approving look of the rehearsal teacher.
——So, since those strange adults can give candies and flowers, those children who were taken away must also live among candies and flowers.
-5-
If you sing and dance well, there will be applause, attention, and golden discs of unknown origin falling down.
The children living there didn't know what the glittering golden discs were, but when they saw the strange adults holding them tightly in their palms, putting them into large bags and handing them to the teachers, and then holding the hands of the chosen children—
Perhaps something better than candy and flowers, they thought.
How happy! The children who were chosen to disappear, I wonder what a happy place they went to.
-6-
Every child in a skirt envied their chosen companion.
Therefore, although they were not allowed to approach the child who played the organ silently - "Don't get close to that guy, who knows if that ugly sick guy will infect you" - the children always had a faint pity for him in their hearts.
Because he was never chosen.
The strange adults seemed to be pointing at him and discussing him heatedly, saying many strange things - "Actually, if it's just a simple sickness, then the child can still be very popular. After all, paleness and illness can create a charming charm of 'fragility', which will have a lot of market" -
But the kid playing the organ, he just happened to -
Neither laughing nor angry, neither crying nor making a fuss, so calm that it’s almost boring.
Even if I was called here specially, and had my chin lifted up by the gloves or long fans of strangers...
-7-
He wasn't shy, afraid, nervous, or pursed his lips in resistance.
No matter how he was touched or pinched, he would just obediently raise his pale face and stare at them with his blood-red eyes.
It seemed that anything could be done to him, and yet he would not respond.
It was like meeting the eyes of a dead thing.
...He makes adults feel disgusting and ugly, so adults always call him disgusting and ugly.
So the strange adults who visited there never chose him.
-8-
Some naughty children were chosen, some timid children were chosen, some children with delicate looks but stubborn tempers were chosen... No one chose him.
The child playing the organ continued to play silently and calmly. In every performance, he would be the small figure in the corner of the stage.
No one was watching him or his playing.
The audience will watch the dance that shows off the toned calves and the chorus that shows off the beautiful voices, they will not pay attention to the quality of the soundtrack.
The teachers didn't like him either, but it seemed that they couldn't find an organist who was so silent and honest, and every performance they performed required music of a certain standard - so they reluctantly continued to support him and provide him with bread and water.
But, well, since he wasn't chosen, all he got was the hardest, smallest, coldest piece of bread and a little bit of leftover soup diluted with cold water.
Sometimes he coughed so badly and vomited too much blood, I would give him another piece of white toast and let him go to his room to rest for an hour.
If the performance schedule for that day was very tight, the rehearsal teacher would frown, cover his eyes with a handkerchief, pull out the child who was vomiting blood from the sink, and then pour some coffee for him from his own cup.
-9-
As the children came and went, as others were picked out and sent in - the performance schedule was never empty, so he received more medical support in the form of toast or coffee than an hour's break.
Coffee is the only "drug" that child can access.
But, somehow, he survived silently and calmly.
-10-
So, when the children talked about the ugly and disgusting child sitting in front of the organ, they would find that when he was not playing the organ, he was squatting in front of a pile of twigs with a burning fire, holding cold bread or cold soup and cold coffee, and toasting and heating them little by little.
If someone asks him what he is doing -
“I’m making something delicious to reward myself,” he would reply.
If you were asked why you reward yourself?
“I opened my eyes successfully today,” you will get the answer.
Then he stopped talking and continued to stare intently at his food on the small fire.
-11-
It's so weird.
The children felt sorry for him, but as soon as he coughed or raised his empty red eyes, they dared not approach him.
Because the adults all said that he was ugly and disgusting.
They were all wearing white dresses, and they didn't want the white dresses to be dirty by the child, otherwise no adult would choose them.
-12-
Until one day, another little boy was sent there.
He was scared and wanted to go home, but no one could go home in that place.
Just as no child can remember whether there are children in the world outside this place who don't wear white dresses, no child can remember where he or she came from two weeks later.
The new child will soon be able to play with everyone, so don't worry.
So, just like countless times before, the little boy was thrown into a cage by the teachers and the door was locked tightly.
When he stops crying, stops screaming, and is too hungry to vent any energy, you can change into a white dress.
-13-
The children who had finished rehearsing were whispering excitedly about what games they would play with the new friend. The adults were also very happy because the new kid was said to have charming and authentic blue eyes. Who doesn't like blue eyes?
They turned and left while talking, leaving the child in the cage.
Only the child playing the organ stood there silently, thought for a moment, and then quietly went into the darkness.
-14-
At midnight, he opened the locked cage door and spoke the longest sentence since he came here.
"Did Father and Mother send you here, too, or were they killed in the burning house, brother?"
-15-
——The sobbing boy in the cage raised his head and met a face that looked exactly like his own.
-16-
That was the first time he met his brother.
The same face, the same hands, as if it was his reflection of the child.
——But he had never heard of his existence, his blood-related twin brother... He never knew he had such a relative.
The only relative.
Because both father and mother burned to death in that burning house, of course.
-17-
"Hello, brother. Nice to meet you. I was sent here on the first day you were born."
... He had no awareness, no hesitation, even though "on the first day of our birth, how could he have consciously known that he was his younger brother and that he was sent here?" "He said he had always been here, so how could he have known where he came from and that his parents outside had died in a burning house" -
These many doubts, when I think back on them as an adult, become very obvious.
But at that time, the child in the cage was just holding on to the only string.
Even though they had never met before, their identical faces proved their blood relationship beyond any doubt.
-18-
He rushed over and hugged his brother.
His only brother, his only relative, the only child in this strange place who approached him and opened his cage.
-19-
He wanted to speak but was too scared and just cried while holding the child.
The brother who was hugged tightly seemed to be stunned for a moment, then he reached out and patted his back gently.
His movements were somewhat awkward, as if he rarely used his arms and rarely performed human comforting behaviors.
-20-
"Don't be afraid, brother. I will protect you. For I am connected to you by blood. I am your reflection."
“I…I…”
"Don't be afraid, don't cry."
"...My name is Parsifal, what's yours?"
-twenty one-
oh.
He tilted his head. "Father and Mother gave my brother a name. That's great."
Parsifal. Knight. Light. What a name.
He had wondered many times what name this life would have.
-twenty two-
...Huh?
The man in white robes, Parsifal, asked in confusion: "Since we are twin brothers, why don't you have a name?"
"Because I was destined to be sold while still in my mother's womb. My parents couldn't afford to raise two children."
Although there is no name, according to the vendor, as long as it is a girl after birth, it can be sold at a very good price, which is very cost-effective.
"Naming makes people sentimental," the blond, red-eyed brother said calmly. "You wouldn't want to sell a named child for money, would you?"
"and you……"
"But I have a name now. Everyone will just call me 'Pipean'... You can just call me P, Brother."
"...But this name is so inappropriate, brother."
-twenty three-
Well, he was hugged again.
This time it seemed to express not fear but pity.
P raised his arm again awkwardly and patted the boy on the back.
-twenty four-
While mechanically patting his brother's back, he raised his bloodshot eyes and looked straight out the window at the stone sculpture in the center of the courtyard.
...How strange, humans.
-25-
They are not even curious about whether such a child is really alive, but they can give so much unnecessary "pity".
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