Chapter 83
◎He has the best lover in the world.◎
When the young man hurried over in a wheelchair, the riverside was exceptionally quiet.
In the hazy moonlight, Xie Huaijin only saw pools of blood on the grass. Something surged out of his heart. The young man looked at Zhu Yi, who reported the previous situation.
"The young master had previously ordered the people around Miss Ciying to withdraw, so when we received the news, Miss Ciying had already been abducted by the thieves. I immediately sent people to track them down, but there is no news yet."
The young man stared at the blood on the grass, his voice eerily quiet. "How long has it been?"
Zhu Yi said, "Half an hour."
A surge of anger and blood rushed to his heart, but before he could find Ciying safely, Xie Huaijin swallowed the anger in his chest and said softly, "Go check, there's also the Wang family in the palace..."
Maybe he was a little dizzy, or maybe he was too concerned, but Xie Huaijin couldn't figure out which force it was for a moment.
He dared to withdraw the people Zhu Yi had arranged with Ci Ying because Ci Ying now had his own people around her. There shouldn't be such desperate people in Chang'an in broad daylight. Or did he miss something...
When Zhu saw that Xie Huaijin's face was not right, he hurriedly took out the medicine bottle from his sleeve, poured out a pill and put it to the young man's mouth.
Xie Huaijin swallowed the wine hastily with a pale face and whispered, "Send someone to invite the one from the palace, the one from the Wang family, and the ones from the Li and Lin families to the mansion."
Zhu Yi ordered the people beside him to do it. In the quiet night, by the river, the young man swallowed the blood and energy that kept rising in his throat, suppressing it without saying a word.
Zhu Yi stood beside Xie Huaijin with his head lowered.
I don't know who has the guts to do this. If Miss Ciying were safe and sound, everything would be fine. But if... Zhu Yi looked at the blood on the ground. The strong smell of blood in the air blurred the moonlight, foreshadowing that Chang'an was about to change.
It was not until dawn that the people who were investigating outside brought back the news and a note.
Exhausted after a night of interrogation, the young man, who was only holding on to his sick body with a single breath, opened the note with trembling fingers. On it were Ci Ying's distorted and trembling handwriting, as well as blood-stained fingerprints.
The letter read: "Xie Huaijin, save me... I'm so scared, it's so dark here, and there are so many people."
Xie Huaijin's eyes were bloodshot and white, and Zhu Yi hurriedly supported him.
Xu Yun, who was standing by, frowned and inserted the silver needle, keeping the young man's consciousness hanging. He trembled and handed the letter over to him. He wanted to stand up, but remembered that he was just a cripple now. He felt a sharp pain in his legs, but he still couldn't stand up.
Xu Yun held Xie Huaijin down and shouted angrily, "Are you trying to kill yourself?"
Xie Huaijin forced himself to calm down, his eyelids trembling. After a long while, he finally spoke: "Go prepare the carriage. Zhu Yi and Zhu Er, come with me."
Xu Yun frowned and said, "I'll go with you." If she didn't keep an eye on them, she was afraid that the person she had saved with great difficulty would die on the road.
Xie Huaijin even managed to maintain his composure, his only remaining sanity being to stare intently at the note handed over by the secret guard.
The handwriting on it was indeed Ciying's, which meant that Ciying was still alive.
The other party must be asking for something. It doesn’t matter. As long as they have something to ask for, that’s good enough.
Xie Huaijin is his life, and it is a blessing to be able to exchange Ciying.
As the carriage jolted, the young man started coughing and his eyelids twitched.
He had never heard Ci Ying speak in such a tone before. No matter when before, she had never said to him "save me" or "I'm so scared". Xie Huaijin's hands trembled more and more violently. He took the medicine from Zhu Yi's hand and swallowed it hard.
The urge to vomit came over him, and the young man leaned over, but covered his mouth tightly.
Xu Yun watched Xie Huaijin trying to stay awake in an almost self-abusing way, and he was helpless, so he closed his eyes and pretended not to see.
When they arrived at their destination, the secret guards surrounded this remote farmhouse. A faint smell of blood wafted from inside. When Zhu opened the door, the long corridor was covered in bloodstains and scratches. The wheelchair rolled over the wooden floor and led all the way to a courtyard.
Like the riverside, there is dense grass here, as high as a person's calf.
"Crack—"
The wheelchair was pushed to the end of the corridor and Xie Huaijin stopped in front of a door.
Zhu Yi flew up to the roof to take a look, and when he came back after running around, he didn't see any guards on the opposite side.
Xie Huaijin pushed open the door in front of him. When he entered the yard, the faint smell of blood became stronger. Xie Huaijin's eyelids twitched, and the wheelchair moved a step by itself. The figure of Ci Ying lying in a pool of blood covered in blood came into his sight.
On a December morning, there were still drops of dew on the grass. Ci Ying was lying in the blood-soaked grass with her eyes closed.
"Ci Ying..."
The young man's voice was barely audible, his eyes suddenly turned red, and he pushed the wheelchair to Ci Ying's side. However, the wheelchair sank into the mud, trapping Xie Huaijin, who had difficulty with his legs.
As they got closer, Xie Huaijin could see Ci Ying's face clearly.
Half of his pale face was covered in blood, and the other half had faint bloodstains, and his chest was all blood red.
The wheelchair could not be pushed forward and sank deeper and deeper into the mud.
Xie Huaijin had forgotten that there was someone behind him. Looking at Ci Ying lying in a pool of blood, he staggered to his feet anxiously, but suddenly lost the strength to fall down. He could no longer feel the pain, and there was only Ci Ying in his eyes.
He clasped his slender hands in the mud and crawled over step by step, dragging his crippled body with his hands. His fingers were cut by the long and sharp grass before he slowly and awkwardly crawled to Ci Ying's side. He no longer had any thoughts of arguing with the person behind the scenes, and just touched Ci Ying tremblingly.
"Ci Ying..." The young man's muddy hands touched Ci Ying's warm blood. He didn't dare to touch Ci Ying's wound or feel Ci Ying's breath. The sticky blood stained his fingers. His mind went blank. His blood rushed up, and he was so angry that he vomited a mouthful of blood.
“Xu Yun, Xu Yun!” The young man vomited blood and screamed, “Save Ci Ying…”
Xu Yun frowned and did not step forward. He even stopped Zhu Yi who wanted to go forward to help.
Because of concern, young people are confused and fail to notice the unreasonable things everywhere.
Nor did he feel the bloody smell in the air, which was more like something else than human blood.
The young man lowered his eyes, and warm tears fell on Ciying's nose. She opened her eyes at this moment.
Xie Huaijin was in a more miserable state than she had imagined. It was clearly her plan, but Ci Ying was not happy at all.
When the young man saw that she opened her eyes and was still alive, his whole body trembled, but he didn't dare to move her for fear of aggravating her injuries, so he just called Xu Yun again.
Only then did Xu Yun step forward, bringing Zhu Yi with him.
Xie Huaijin said to Ci Ying: "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you angry..."
The young man looked flustered, with tears and blood mixed on his face, and his fingers covered with wounds and dirt. In the young man's bloodshot eyes, Ci Ying slowly sat up from the ground, wiped the blood off his face, and looked at Xie Huaijin quietly.
The wind blew the grass in the yard. Seeing Ci Ying's bright and clear eyes, the young man gradually calmed down.
Finally, he became the last person in this small courtyard to realize the truth.
The young man looked at Ci Ying, tears falling from his eyes again. He used the only clean piece of his sleeve to wipe the blood off Ci Ying's face, crying and saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
It's all a show.
Who in Chang'an could have kidnapped Ci Ying so quietly and erased all traces, putting Xie Huaijin in such a passive position?
Including that letter.
Ci Ying actually left loopholes everywhere. It was not known whether it was because she was soft-hearted or worried about Xie Huaijin's health. She just wanted him to empathize with her and not make him so embarrassed. However, she was too concerned and Xie Huaijin did not notice one thing.
Ci Ying looked at the tearful person in front of her and said softly, "Xie Huaijin, so ugly."
The blood stains on the young man's face had not been wiped off yet. He looked at Ci Ying with red eyes. He raised his hand to touch Ci Ying, but his hand was trembling and he dared not put it on. It is difficult for people to explain what loss is. Loss may be - even if that moment is fake, after understanding the truth, the despair in his heart like a landslide and tsunami will continue for a long time.
Ci Ying took the initiative to touch her head and looked at the young man quietly.
Xie Huaijin's hands and lips were trembling.
Ci Ying threw herself into the young man's arms and whispered, "This is only fair."
Only one word is needed between wise men.
Xie Huaijin awkwardly hugged Ci Ying into his arms, hugged her tighter and tighter, and cried, "I'm sorry."
Ci Ying's voice came from his arms: "I don't forgive you, Xie Huaijin."
Although she said she didn't forgive him, Ci Ying's eyes were red.
The blood on her body made her feel very uncomfortable, because there was not only the blood she had someone forge, but also Xie Huaijin's. It stuck to her skin through her clothes, and tried to drill into her skin as soft as willow catkins, drilling into her heart and entangling her pounding heart.
But Ci Ying had no way out.
She felt Xie Huaijin's blood, tears, and the dirt on his body, felt the young man's trembling heart, and the still-trembling hands holding her. Her voice was hoarse: "Does it hurt? Does it hurt? This is how I feel every time I see you abuse your body."
She was hugged tighter, and the young man's tears flowed down.
Ci Ying raised her head and touched the young man's head: "I don't know how to threaten you anymore, and I don't want to threaten you, but you always do things that hurt yourself. It was like this before, and it is still like this now. I obviously don't need you to do these for me. I have already said it is not important, I don't care, why do you still do it, why......"
Ciying's voice was soft, without any complaints, only helplessness.
The grass brushed against their faces, making them itchy. Ci Ying's tears came out, and she sobbed along with the young man, "Xie Huaijin, can't we just be together?"
The young man shed silent tears.
Tears fell on the two people's necks that touched each other, and Ci Ying's tears also fell. She held Xie Huaijin's face with her hands, only to find that the young man was in a very bad condition. His pale face was hung with a pair of red eyes, and the dark circles under his eyes symbolized that he had not rested for a whole night. The breath he had been holding on to had already died when he saw Ci Ying wake up.
Ci Ying's silent tears ended as Xie Huaijin fell into a coma.
With trembling fingers, she handed the man to Zhu Yi and Xu Yun. The two had seen through Ci Ying's disguise early on but had not exposed it. Now Xu Yun stuffed a pill into Xie Huaijin's mouth, and Zhu Yi pressed the vital acupoints on the young man's body as instructed.
Ciying shed tears.
She sent her lover to the gates of hell.
For a moment, Ci Ying felt that her and Xie Huaijin's insistence was wrong. They might not be born to be together. Their love and companionship seemed to be always accompanied by blood and tears. The spreading pain was like the sourest hawthorn fruit in spring, and love was the beautiful sugar coating that covered up the sourness of the hawthorn.
But she couldn't bear to do it.
I couldn't bear to leave.
She knew very clearly that without her, Xie Huaijin would die.
Instead of letting Xie Huaijin die, it is better to let both of them live in pain.
Ci Ying looked at the pale, unconscious person spitting blood not far away. Her fingers became colder and colder, and the tears on her face dried into tear marks. She trembled, bent down, and sobbed silently.
Xu Yun glanced at Ci Ying and paused for a moment before continuing with the acupuncture.
God silently enjoyed this farce and it rained at noon.
At that time, Ciying and his group had already returned to Xie's house.
This time the young man slept for three days and three nights.
No one blamed Ci Ying. Zhu Er, who was the most protective of Xie Huaijin, even advised Ci Ying to rest, but Ci Ying refused. She didn't believe it and stayed by guarding the unconscious Xie Huaijin day and night. She didn't sleep for three days as long as Xie Huaijin didn't wake up.
Ci Ying didn't believe it. She didn't believe that after going through so much, she just couldn't find a way for Ci Ying and Xie Huaijin to stay together.
It was noon when Xie Huaijin woke up, and the sunlight was very similar to the sunlight on the day when the two had quarreled a few days ago.
The young man opened his eyes and saw Ci Ying, whose face was equally pale.
His tears just fell.
"I'm sorry...Ciying, I'm sorry..." A hoarse voice entered Ciying's eyes.
The reason why I say eyes is because only eyes can shed tears.
The two looked at each other and shed tears together.
Then came a curled-up hug. Ci Ying was hugged by the weak Xie Huaijin. The two of them squeezed on the small side of the bed. Ci Ying buried her tears in Xie Huaijin's neck, and the warm water flowed into the young man's flesh like a heartbeat.
Ci Ying didn't say "I'm sorry", and she didn't want to hear Xie Huaijin's "I'm sorry".
She didn't want his apology.
She wanted him to live well.
She didn't know why it was so difficult, but it wasn't Xie Huaijin's fault.
She choked and stayed in the young man's arms until his weak hand stroked her thin back. Her body was terribly cold in December, like the continuous rain in March.
The two of them hugged each other until the midday sun set and the sky grew gloomy.
As the raindrops fell, Ciying said, "I'm hungry."
She hadn't eaten much for three days, and only after Xie Huaijin woke up did she feel hungry.
Although she said "hungry", Ci Ying did not get up. She just used her teeth to grind Xie Huaijin's flesh, biting deeper and deeper.
A long time ago, she was so depressed that she bit off a piece of flesh from the young man's mouth. Blood and flesh were dripping, but the young man was still smiling. She didn't feel any pleasure from biting it off, but just said over and over again, "Xie Huaijin, I hate you."
Ci Ying gently tasted Xie Huaijin's blood, lowered her eyes and whispered, "Xie Huaijin, I hate you."
......
Xie Huaijin, I hate you.
Xie Huaijin, I hate you.
Xie Huaijin, I hate you.
Ci Ying's lips and teeth became gentle as she licked the blood on the young man's hand bit by bit, her tongue slid across the wound bit by bit, slowly sealing the wound with saliva, or perhaps it was the warm tears flowing down her face.
How can love be so painful?
Perhaps, it is because of this pain that people call it love.
It leaped out ferociously from the mottled and dripping heartbeat.
Ci Ying's body trembled, and her mouth gradually loosened the young man's wrist.
Both she and her moon were scarred.
Ci Ying fell asleep, and after a while, Xu Yun came.
Xu Yun immediately checked Ciying's pulse, and after confirming that Ciying was fine, his expression relaxed a little.
As usual, she performed acupuncture on Xie Huaijin. As Xie Huaijin's long-term doctor, Xu Yun saw something unusual that day. She asked, "How did you stand up that day?"
Although he fell down the moment he stood up and had to crawl to move his body, he still stood up.
Xie Huaijin shook his head: "I don't know."
Xu Yun pinched Xie Huaijin's leg and asked, "Are you feeling anything now?"
“…A little.”
Xu Yun walked around the room for a while, then pushed the door open and left. He quickly returned and closed the door. "Rest for a while. I'll ask Zhu Yi to prepare some medicinal food. You two can eat together later."
"Yes, thank you."
After a silent thank you, the door was closed.
Xie Huaijin looked at the person in his arms. Even though he had been unconscious for three days, his heart was still trembling with the memory of that day. He silently said "I'm sorry" to the person in his arms, his beautiful eyes like falling stars.
When Ciying was awakened, Zhu Yi had already brought the medicinal food over.
The young man had finished cleaning up at some point and brought a bowl to feed her.
Ci Ying couldn't tell who the patient was for a moment, but she glanced at Xie Huaijin and opened her mouth.
The porridge was mild and light, suitable for people like Ciying and Xie Huaijin who had not eaten for several days. Xie Huaijin fed Ciying the porridge, and after feeding her, he wiped Ciying's mouth with a handkerchief.
Ci Ying buried her head in the quilt, and when she came out, she found that the young man was still looking at her.
She just looked at Xie Huaijin, then stood up and hugged him.
"I was just angry that day."
The sentence I am referring to is: "We are not husband and wife now, and we will not be buried together a hundred years later."
The young man murmured, "That's not wrong."
After eating the porridge, Ciying regained some strength and went to see Xie Huaijin first.
She judged whether he did it on purpose or intentionally or deliberately.
There was fatigue and smile in the young man's eyes.
Ci Ying wanted to choke but she held it back. She leaned over the young man's chest and gently touched his tired eyes: "Really?"
After spending so much time with Xie Huaijin, Ci Ying said directly, "Then I really won't be buried with you after I die."
Halfway through her words, the young man covered her mouth.
It’s not about whether the burials are suitable or not, it’s because of unlucky words.
"Ci Ying..." There was a pleading tone in the young man's words.
This is where Ci Ying doesn’t understand Xie Huaijin. He is always silent about some things, but full of love in other details.
Ci Ying said softly, "You can't do this."
As she said this, she hugged Xie Huaijin tightly.
She knew very well that she didn't like such a lover, but... she liked Xie Huaijin.
So she slowly came to like everything about Xie Huaijin, even such flaws. She liked generous and confident love, an upright lover, but if she really did all that, it seemed as if she was no longer Xie Huaijin.
Xie Huaijin is the cold sun, the moon in the water, and the wet rain.
Ci Ying is a moth that only sees light, a person trying to catch the moon, and a cloud that accompanies the rain.
So love is like this, hate is like this, let them be together forever.
Mid-December.
Xu Yun brought good news, saying that Xie Huaijin's leg might be saved.
Ci Ying then recalled the incident that day. It turned out that in a hurry, the young man fell off the wheelchair. Xu Yun had said many times that there was hope for Xie Huaijin's legs, so at the beginning, neither of them took it seriously.
Ci Ying confiscated all the strange books in Xie Huaijin's study, and warned Zhu Yi and Zhu Er not to follow Xie Huaijin's arrangements anymore.
Zhu Yi remained silent.
Zhu Er raised his hand and promised: "I will definitely take good care of my brother."
Ci Ying patted Zhu Er's shoulder and said, "I'll give you a reward at the end of the year."
Zhu Er whispered, "Madam, please give Xiao Wan an extra gift. She has a child to raise..."
Ci Ying had almost forgotten about Xiao Wan and Zhu Er, but suddenly remembered and said subconsciously, "No need, I'll take care of Xiao Wan."
Zhu Er had no objection and said with a smile, "Then give the lady to me."
Ci Ying was a little amused, but after walking away, she felt that it was not very funny.
Zhu Er actually hasn't laughed for a long time.
She walked back and saw some wild flowers on the road, so she squatted down and picked a bunch.
It was a very small bunch, and it looked even smaller in the young man's slender hands. Ci Ying looked at it curiously, then looked at her own hands, thinking that she could pick more next time, so that the wild flowers in the corner could grow for another day.
Xie Huaijin was handling official business. Ci Ying picked it up and looked at it casually, not very interested.
Things in Mobei were already busy enough for her, and she didn't want to worry about things in Chang'an anymore.
Everyone has his own plans. Ci Ying respects Xie Huaijin's ideas about the world. If he wants to fight for power, she will fight for him. If he wants to return to the mountains and forests, she will take him back to Mobei. If he wants to push a new emperor to the throne, she will also support him.
In terms of political acumen and talent, Ci Ying did not think he could surpass Xie Huaijin.
Just like when it comes to being a normal person, Xie Huaijin will never be able to surpass her in his life.
Ci Ying thought about it and smiled with a bitter smile, which attracted Xie Huaijin's attention.
Ciying walked forward and kissed him, just a kiss.
She now considered even the slightest touch as crossing the line. The young man looked at her quietly and kissed her again. When Ci Ying couldn't help but want to touch Xie Huaijin, she forced herself to hold back.
As for physiological needs...
Ciying usually solves the problem herself.
Being broken...
Well, Ciying originally thought it was nothing.
But her body was shaking unconsciously. The young man in a wheelchair behind the screen looked at her. Her mind was lost, and she remembered that her clothes were untied. But her body felt weak and her fingers could not move for a moment. Ci Ying's eyes were blurry, and she felt her face flushed. She was so embarrassed that she wished this was a dream.
Without waiting for the heat to subside, Ci Ying pulled up the quilt, her heart pounding as she spoke softly but anxiously, "Will just seeing my body make you uncomfortable?"
As she spoke, her clothes fell apart, revealing her shoulders as white as jade.
Ci Ying was really embarrassed. She wrapped the quilt tighter and even thought Xie Huaijin should go out first. It was very impolite to stare at her like that.
The young man stood still.
Ci Ying was afraid that Xie Huaijin would misunderstand, so after putting on her clothes, she said softly, "This is normal."
Xie Huaijin was stunned for a moment, turned around to leave, but was stopped by Ci Ying.
Ci Ying's voice was very soft, but Xie Huaijin still heard it. He turned around stiffly and walked towards Ci Ying. Ci Ying sat on the bed and hugged him, looking at Xie Huaijin's reaction tentatively.
His expression didn't change much, and Ci Ying breathed a sigh of relief.
The young man didn't say anything, just touched her head.
Ci Ying was really afraid of hearing "I'm sorry", fortunately Xie Huaijin didn't say it again.
She lay quietly in Xie Huaijin's arms and whispered, "Will you feel uncomfortable?"
Xie Huaijin's hands froze for a moment, and looking at the understanding eyes of the person in his arms, he shook his head.
Ci Ying was obviously relieved. She didn't ask why, but just said as usual, "That's good."
The two held hands for a while, and after a while, Ci Ying was half conscious...
But saying that he needed to wash his hands at this time seemed like he was trying to cover up his mistake. Ci Ying tried to ignore it, but her face gradually turned red. She looked like a stewed shrimp, with even her skin and flesh burning hot.
Fortunately, Xie Huaijin didn't understand this either.
Xie Huaijin actually understood it. He had read so many erotic books that he had some common sense.
Because he had been blind for a period of time, the young man's perception of smell was very obvious.
He should have been a little disgusted, but when he saw Ci Ying's blushing face, he felt that it wasn't that disgusting.
Since they were young, he had never seen Ci Ying blushing like this. He kissed Ci Ying on the forehead. Ci Ying raised her eyes, her eyes sparkling, hiding her embarrassment.
There was only a quilt between the two of them. The charcoal fire in the room had already started burning, and there were tiny beads of sweat on Ci Ying's face.
She asked, "Didn't you say you would stay overnight in the palace today?"
The young man said, “No need again.”
Ci Ying's thoughts slowly returned to normal. Unable to bear it any longer, she whispered, "You go out first."
Xie Huaijin didn't understand.
Ci Ying stared at him for a long moment, then murmured, "I need to wash my hands."
The young man was stunned for a moment, then chuckled.
The young man asked someone to bring a basin of warm water. He covered Ciying's hand with his hand and put them into the copper basin together. The warm water was poured on Ciying's hand. The young man even kindly and carefully rubbed Ciying's fingers with soap nuts. Ciying didn't know why, but she wanted to laugh.
There are a lot of problems between the two of them, but strangely, in this insignificant moment, Ciying can feel happiness.
She looked at Xie Huaijin, raised her eyes and kissed the young man's face.
The young man was a little stunned, even though kissing was very common for them.
Ci Ying laughed again. It was difficult for her to tease Xie Huaijin several times about the same thing, but this one always worked.
After the young man dried her hands with a clean towel, Ci Ying smiled and pinched the young man's face: "Xie Huaijin, I love you, I love you, I love you."
Xie Huaijin raised his eyes and smiled as well.
His eyes were red, and he looked at Ci Ying with a smile and said softly, "I just washed your hands once."
Ci Ying's advantage over Xie Huaijin is probably that when she is not stubborn, she is a very honest person, and can say even very shy things.
Ci Ying smiled softly and said gently, "Because you are Xie Huaijin, even if you just washed my hands once, I still feel that I love you very much."
After that day, Ci Ying often reflected on herself.
She thought that if she expressed her love more clearly, Xie Huaijin might not be like that.
When she said that they were not husband and wife now and did not want to be buried together in the future, Xie Huaijin could grab her hand and say "I want it, I want it". Of course, this was not something Xie Huaijin could say, but Ci Ying could. She thought, she had to give her lover enough confidence to be loved.
What happened today was an accident.
In fact, she tried her best to avoid Xie Huaijin.
But it doesn’t matter if she’s caught. Ciying is shy, but also calm.
Xie Huaijin did not leave today. Ci Ying asked the maid to change the mattress and then stayed in bed with Xie Huaijin. She pressed Xie Huaijin's legs and asked if he had any feeling. Sometimes the young man said yes, and sometimes he said no.
He still wouldn't let himself look at his legs.
Ci Ying kneaded it a little more, then lay down and hugged the person beside her, saying in a low voice, "Will Doctor Xu give you acupuncture again tomorrow?"
Xie Huaijin said "yes".
Ci Ying touched the acupuncture points on the young man's body and said softly, "You have been ill for too long. I know all the acupuncture points."
Xie Huaijin touched Ciying's head and said softly, "That Ciying is amazing."
It was an obvious compliment, but Ciying's tail lifted up, and the sadness was diluted. Later, when Ciying thought about this period of time, she always felt that many problems did not have to be divided into high and low right and wrong. Life is long, and you can live a good life by just fooling around occasionally.
As the days passed, Chang'an began to get colder and colder. When it was the coldest, it started to snow.
This year, Ciying built a snowman alone, while Xie Huaijin sat in a wheelchair beside her.
Ci Ying asked Xie Huaijin to go back several times, but Xie Huaijin refused. In the end, he just held an umbrella and accompanied her in the wind and snow.
Ci Ying was squatting on the ground with an open umbrella beside her.
There was no one else in the yard, so Ci Ying could cry without caring.
She had just made a small pile when her tears melted the snow. Ci Ying smiled and said to Xie Huaijin, "The snow is bullying her." The young man pushed the wheelchair to her side and wrapped Ci Ying's hands with his own.
But Xie Huaijin's hands were also cold, and Ci Ying's hands seemed to be wrapped in a piece of ice. She couldn't help but laugh.
Tears followed her laughter. Ci Ying put the newly built snowman aside and whispered, "Zhu Guang, it's snowing again."
"Are you okay? Are you with Mo Yu? I'll build another Mo Yu, and you all will be fine."
The young man raised his hand to wipe away the tears in Ciying's eyes and said softly, "Then build another one, and then we'll go back."
Ci Ying nodded. The snow was heavier now and it was easier to pile it up than before.
She accidentally piled Mo Yu a little bigger and placed it next to "Zhu Guang", making it look particularly large. Ci Ying laughed as she looked at it, and looked at Xie Huaijin and found that he was looking at her.
Ci Ying placed the umbrella she brought next to the two snowmen leaning against each other, then ran back to where Xie Huaijin was. The young man held the umbrella and accepted her hug.
Not far away, an umbrella blocked the snow falling from the sky. Under the umbrella, two snowmen, one big and one small, snuggled together.
Ci Ying took a look and pushed Xie Huaijin away.
Under the corridor, Ci Ying shook off the snow on her body, and then helped Xie Huaijin shake off the snow on his body.
She whispered, "Zhu Guang once took me to the top of a very high mountain."
Xie Huaijin looked at her quietly, knowing that Ci Ying didn't need his agreement or answer.
She just needs to—
The young man took the hand of the person in front of him and interlocked his fingers with Ciying.
He looked at her quietly and tenderly, and Ci Ying began to say again: "Xie Huaijin, I love you, I love you, I love you."
At first, it was Ciying who cried, and it was Ciying who laughed. Later, it was Xie Huaijin who laughed, and it was Xie Huaijin who cried.
Ci Ying looked at Xie Huaijin's red eyes and kissed him gently. She still didn't understand why Xie Huaijin always wanted to push her away in many things, but forget it...compared to these, the fact that they loved each other was more important.
Lovers.
Finally got married.
Ci Ying's wish on this New Year's Eve was to stay with Xie Huaijin forever.
As for Xie Huaijin, his wish is the same every year.
I hope Ciying will be safe every year.
They kept watch together, and then Chuyi and Zhuyi both stayed in bed until noon. Zhuyi and Zhuer were tactful enough not to disturb them, and they didn't get up until the afternoon.
Ci Ying pointed at Xie Huaijin, then at herself: "Little pig."
Xie Huaijin watched quietly. Ci Ying stepped forward and hugged the young man: "Happy New Year, Xie Huaijin."
We got up from the same bed, but we also wanted to say Happy New Year.
"Happy New Year, little pig." The young man's voice was filled with smile.
Ci Ying's eyes widened, and she immediately began to rub Xie Huaijin's face up and down. The young man smiled indulgently. When Ci Ying got tired of rubbing, she hummed softly, and then she laughed too.
The young man stuffed a purse into Ciying's hand.
Ci Ying was curious and wanted to open it, but the young man held her hand back: "Wait a few days and see."
Ci Ying said softly, "Okay."
But it opened when he turned around.
Xie Huaijin seemed to be used to it. Seeing Ciying take out the thing wrapped in the scripture, he whispered, "It's a peace amulet."
The young man said softly: "Yeah."
"When did you go to ask for it?" Ci Ying calculated the days and walked over to sit next to the young man.
"One day when I have some free time." The young man casually passed it over.
Ci Ying smiled and put the amulet away: "I will go get one for you someday."
In the past, I was always afraid that young people would become seriously ill and pass away one day, so Ciying didn't dare to ask for such things.
Now that Xie Huaijin is in good health, he feels that he can ask for help.
Ci Ying pinched Xie Huaijin's face: "My New Year's wish is that Xie Huaijin promise me to love himself well."
Xie Huaijin was stunned for a moment, and after a long while, he said softly: "...Okay."
Ci Ying thought about it over and over again, thinking about the past, and finally she found some clues.
Xie Huaijin didn't not love her, he just didn't love himself.
He gave her too much love, but left too little for himself.
It shouldn't be like this.
Xie Huaijin looked at Ci Ying tenderly. In his life, only Ci Ying would say such words to him.
He rested his forehead against Ciying's and whispered, "Doctor Xu said my leg might be healed next year."
"Really?" Ci Ying asked immediately.
The news from Xie Huaijin's mouth was different from that from Xu Yun's. In order to comfort her, Xu Yun would say it was possible even if there was a one in ten thousand chance. However, Xie Huaijin would hardly say such a thing unless there was a high probability.
Ci Ying's tears fell, and Xie Huaijin gently wiped them away.
"Don't cry, Ciying."
Ciying cried and said, "I can't control it."
If someone had watched with her how many injections Xie Huaijin had to take, how many medicines he had to take, and how many times he had to vomit every day, year after year, they would have cried when they heard the news.
The young man looked at Ci Ying with a smile.
It was only much later that Ci Ying realized that before that, the young man had always been feeling inferior.
Who would have thought that Xie Huaijin, a child prodigy since childhood, would have such an inferiority complex?
So when Ci Ying heard about it later, her first reaction was heartache, and her tears were even heavier than they were now. But Ci Ying didn't know that now. She only knew that Xie Huaijin had started to care about his health. Regardless of whether Xie Huaijin's leg could be healed or not, Ci Ying was happy.
She went up and gave Xie Huaijin a big hug.
Sure enough, Xu Yun arrived at dusk.
After having a meal together, Xu Yun began to give Xie Huaijin acupuncture and massage. This was improved based on the suggestions of Doctor Li and was very suitable for Xie Huaijin's condition.
Ci Ying had no way to thank them. Even though Zhu Guang saved Xu Yun's life, Xu Yun had also saved many of their lives.
Ci Ying insisted on paying a generous consultation fee. Xu Yun declined twice before finally accepting it. The next day, he gave Ci Ying a beautiful pearl flower and said with a smile, "A New Year's gift!"
Over the years, Xu Yun and Ci Ying have become good friends.
Seeing Ciying staring at Zhuhua in silence, Xu Yun said, "I'm a doctor. It's my duty to cure illnesses and save lives, but it's not your job to save me. Okay, okay, I stay at Ciying's house every day, eating and drinking to my heart's content. I really don't need any money. Look, we've already spent two years together."
"Then let's spend next year together." Ci Ying said in a low voice.
Xu Yun waved her hands hurriedly. She looked at Ci Ying seriously and said, "Then I still hope that by this time next year, I'll be traveling around the world."
Ci Ying heard Xu Yun's voice-over and could only say softly, "Thank you."
Xu Yunyun traveled around the world, which meant that Xie Huaijin's illness was completely cured.
Ciying had never heard a better blessing than this.
She reached out and hugged Xu Yun, who hugged her back. Thinking of what happened before, Xu Yun said, "Ciying, I envy your courage. If I were as brave as you, I might not have missed my lover."
Ciying had never heard Xu Yun say that.
Snow fell from the sky as Xu Yun talked about the past. "He was a young master from a wealthy family. I met him while I was treating his father. He always pestered me, wanting to be my medicine boy. As for me, since he said he wanted to be my medicine boy, I took the job. He could make the wrong prescription, boil the medicine until it dried up, and even burn his own hair while lighting a fire. That was the first time I saw a boy cry, his eyes red from crying. I was so upset by his crying that I said I didn't care. But he said he did care because I burned his hair and disfigured him, so I had to take responsibility."
As he spoke, Xu Yun himself began to laugh: "Of course I wasn't responsible. I left him to his father, who disciplined him well. But the next day he came back to me. Ciying, you're so brave, and he's so brave too. I'm the coward."
Xu Yun smiled and said, "His father was very ill. Although I tried to save him several times, I couldn't save him once. We were already together at that time. His father died, and he fainted from crying at the funeral hall. The uncles and aunts saw him and wanted to take away his property. His mother had died long ago, and I, a doctor, couldn't protect him. The only person who could protect him was his grandmother, who said that he should marry his cousin."
"He said no. He cried, made a scene, and even threatened to hang himself. He even climbed over the wall to escape and come to me. His leg was broken. When I was bandaging it, I asked him if it hurt, and he said no. You don't know how afraid he is of pain, but even that time when he broke his leg, he gritted his teeth and said it didn't hurt, even though it was so painful that tears were streaming down his face."
"He told me to elope with me. He said it so seriously that I almost agreed. If I treated a few more people for wealthy families, I could support him and me. Maybe I could even support him better than his father did. But looking at him, I always feel that he will regret it in the future because he has a good relationship with his father. If the family property is really taken away by those uncles, he will definitely feel uncomfortable. He even cries and talks about his father in his dreams. I thought about it for a long time, but I still don't dare."
Xu Yun's voice quieted down, and he stopped laughing. "I don't dare to bear the burden of another person's fate, especially his. I've studied medicine since I was a child and have saved many people, but human life is limited. I tried my best to prolong his father's life, but there was no way I could keep him alive forever."
"Then I ran away." Xu Yun laughed again. "He'll probably... probably be very sad, but after that, he'll marry that cousin. They should have a good life after marriage. He also told me that cousin also had a lover, but they were separated. It just so happens that they can be a couple. He's a very good person, so he will definitely treat that cousin well. So, Ciying, you are really brave."
Xu Yun witnessed the whole journey, and she felt that Ci Ying had given up on her long ago.
Ci Ying wiped Xu Yun's eyes, not knowing what to say.
Xu Yun kept saying he wanted to give up, but his words were full of love.
Although Ci Ying didn't understand the specifics, she felt that Xu Yun must have hidden something.
Xu Yun did hide the details, for example, when the cousin knelt in front of her and said that she was pregnant and only by marrying her cousin could she save her life. She also said that although her cousin didn't say it, he cared a lot in his heart that the old man was murdered by his uncles in the early years. She said, "Doctor Xu, you can't be so selfish and let your cousin give up everything for you."
Xu Yun couldn't tell whether it was the pitiful sight of her cousin, her bulging belly exposed, that touched her heart, or the way her lover kept calling "Dad" in his sleep that made her final decision. In short, she left. She had seen unhappy marriages, and she knew that even two people who loved each other could eventually waste their time and become something neither human nor ghost. Rather than end up in such an embarrassing situation, Xu Yun thought, it would be better to forget it.
After seeing Ci Ying and Xie Huaijin many times, Xu Yun also said "forget it" in his heart.
But every time, Ci Ying firmly chose Xie Huaijin.
In the snow, Xu Yun waved goodbye to Ci Ying, and did not tell Ci Ying that when she went to visit her uncle, she had secretly visited her former lover once. He was holding a little girl's hand lovingly, and the two seemed to have a very good relationship.
Xu Yun felt sour, thinking that he was really magnanimous, loving the child so much even though it was not his own. At the same time, she thought that he was just that kind of person, and it was because he was a good person that she liked him in the first place.
She only looked at it once and then left.
After learning from her uncle that the three of them had lived well over the years and that the family property had been taken back, Xu Yun left with peace of mind. It was difficult for her to explain the feeling in her heart, but she felt very, very good.
......
On the fifth day of the New Year, Ciying went to pay homage to the young lady and the lady.
This was the first time Xie Huaijin came with her. She was offering sacrifices in front, and the young man was sitting quietly in a wheelchair, holding an umbrella.
Ci Ying knelt in the snow, burning paper money. She only started to light incense after a lot of paper money had been burned.
There were three incense sticks on both sides, and the scarlet spot on the top of the incense almost burned Ci Ying's hand with the scattered sparks.
Even though many years have passed, Ci Ying still feels a little uncomfortable.
The young man asked from behind: "Did you get burned?"
Ci Ying smiled and said, "No, every time I think I'm going to get burned, but I'm not. Maybe... the young lady and the lady are protecting me in some way."
When talking about the young lady, Ciying always smiles.
Xie Huaijin watched quietly for a long time before saying, "Yeah."
On the way back, Xie Huaijin talked about the past for the first time in a long time.
Ci Ying was actually a little sleepy, but since Xie Huaijin was talking, she forced herself to keep her eyes open.
But the carriage was shaking, and as it kept shaking, Ciying fell into a half-asleep state of consciousness.
Xie Huaijin noticed it immediately, scratched Ciying's nose with his hand, and whispered, "Why are you asleep at this time..."
Ci Ying did not respond, but just hugged the young man's hand tighter.
Xie Huaijin said softly: "Okay, let's go to sleep."
The sound of Ci Ying snoring came, Xie Huaijin smiled softly and shook his head helplessly.
They had been dealing with official business for half the night yesterday, and this morning Ciying seemed quite energetic; he thought she really wasn't sleepy. Thinking this, the young man gently stroked Ciying's back, humming a tuneless ballad.
Ci Ying glanced at Xie Huaijin in confusion and leaned inside.
Xie Huaijin looked at Zhu Yi, and Zhu Yi whispered to the carriage to slow down.
There was snow on the road, so the carriage took a detour halfway through. When passing a street market, Xie Huaijin saw the candied haws and whispered, "Zhu Yi, go buy some."
As the candle went down, after a while, the whole string of candied haws was lifted up.
Zhu Er covered his mouth and laughed, and Xie Huaijin also laughed: "Then Zhu Yi will carry it first."
Zhu Er couldn't help it, but was afraid of waking Ci Ying up, so he could only cover his mouth.
The sounds of the street market woke Ci Ying up. She rubbed her eyes in confusion and then saw a cart of candied haws.
Well, dream.
It was a dream.
Ci Ying closed her eyes and opened them again, realizing it wasn't a dream. She reached out and poked Xie Huaijin's wrist. The young man smiled and looked down at her. Ci Ying glanced at Zhu Yi, who was carrying a candied haws bag, and mouthed, "Why did you buy so many?"
Seeing that Ci Ying woke up, Xie Huaijin helped her up and bent over to rub her waist.
The young man whispered in Ciying's ear, "It's snowing, and it's too cold outside. Zhuyi doesn't want the old man to suffer from the cold."
Ci Ying nodded: "I want to eat!"
Xie Huaijin picked the most beautiful one and passed it to Ciying's mouth. Ciying took a bite and said, "So sweet."
Zhu Er also took a skewer and ate it. He took a bite and said, "It's so sour!"
Ci Ying burst into laughter and fell into Xie Huaijin's arms.
Xie Huaijin watched Ci Ying cheating him lovingly, took a bite of Ci Ying's, and said calmly: "No, it's very sweet."
Zhu Er looked at the string in his hand, then looked at the string in Ci Ying's hand, and couldn't help but look at Zhu Yi: "Brother, help me pick one."
Zhu Yi was helpless and told Zhu Er: "It's all the same."
There was no difference between the two fruit skewers, but Zhu Er didn't understand and picked another one. He took a bite and it was sour again.
Ci Ying ate her candied haws slowly, and put the leftovers to Xie Huaijin's mouth.
Zhu Er ate two strings of sour haws with a look of suspicion and inquiry, and from then on he stayed away from candied haws.
That day, all the maids and servants in Xie Huaijin and Ciying's courtyard who had not returned home were given a string of candied haws. Fearing that they were too sour, Ciying also asked the kitchen to prepare a plate of pastries for each person.
When the cakes were delivered to Zhu Er, Zhu Er realized that he had been cheated. He gritted his teeth and looked at Zhu Yi: "Brother!"
Zhu Yi ate the cake and said, "Yeah, brother is here."
Zhu Er looked at Zhu Yi in disbelief, snatched the half-bitten pastry from Zhu Yi's hand, and stuffed it all into his mouth as if to vent his anger.
Zhu Yi also laughed, which was rare.
Gradually, the memories of the Chinese New Year were covered up, and Ciying could hardly remember those days during the Chinese New Year that were definitely not good. She was very happy for two consecutive years, so Ciying began to look forward to the Chinese New Year.
Also, during the Chinese New Year, she and Xie Huaijin would always get together.
Yan Ji had sent her a letter two days ago, saying that everything was fine in Mobei and asked her to stay in Chang'an for a while longer. Ling Yue wrote to her, jokingly saying that Yan Ji had been working so hard recently and looked like he was trying to usurp the throne, but also saying that everything was fine in Mobei and wished her a happy new year. Ling Shuang didn't mention Yan Ji, but only wished Ci Ying a happy new year.
On the seventh and eighth days of the first lunar month, Mr. Li and Xie Ran came to visit together.
Ci Ying asked about Ru Zhen's recent situation. Li Sheng and Xie Ran smiled at each other and said that Ru Zhen was now in the academy spending the New Year with a few girls who had not returned home.
Ci Ying also laughed, stood up, took out a booklet from the study and handed it to Xie Ran.
Xie Ran flipped through it and exclaimed, "It's time to renovate the academy, Ciying."
Li Sheng laughed and said, "It was just renovated a few years ago, why do you want to renovate it again?"
Xie Ran hit Li Sheng: "I was obviously describing the amount of money Ci Ying gave me."
Ci Ying said softly, "The only thing I can contribute is money."
It's not all hers, there's also a share for the young lady and the lady.
Xie Ran shook his head, and still shook his head: “Ci Ying, you know nothing about your generosity.”
Li Sheng was amused. His health had improved over the years, and he felt more cheerful. Suddenly, Li Sheng thought: "Ci Ying, have you opened the fan I gave you before?"
Ci Ying was stunned by the question and seemed to have forgotten something. She seemed to have opened it, but also seemed not to have opened it.
Have you asked Zhu Guang for help?
Ci Ying was not very clear, but she still found the fan. It was a gift from Li Sheng, and she had always treasured it and kept it in a box.
After opening the fan, Ciying's memory recovered a little.
"I've opened it, but I couldn't understand what was inside. When I saw it, I thought it was a topographic map you had casually drawn."
Li Sheng nodded. "It is indeed a topographic map, but it wasn't just casually drawn."
Ci Ying was stunned for a moment. Since there was no outsider present, Mr. Li explained the whole story.
At the end, Li Sheng said embarrassedly: "After all, it's not mine. I gave it to Ci Ying at the time hoping to help you. I thought it should be easy for you to understand the code with your intelligence. I didn't expect that you haven't understood it in all these years..."
Li Sheng's words echoed in her ears, but Ci Ying thought of a long time ago -
At that time, the carriage stopped at an unfamiliar place. Xie Huaijin led Ci Ying down. The young man held her hand. Moonlight streamed down. Ci Ying asked Xie Huaijin, "Where is this?"
The young man's voice overlapped with Li Sheng's voice at this time.
Li Sheng said, "It's near Chang'an. Do you know the legend about Cuiwei Mountain? It's not called that name now, but it is a mountain range."
At that time, Xie Huaijin said: "The mountains near Chang'an."
Li Sheng said, "Cuiwei Tu, a picture of a journey through the mountains near Chang'an. Legend has it that the late emperor hid immense wealth in the mountains near Chang'an. Whoever could find it during these troubled times would become the new ruler of the dynasty."
At that time the young man asked her: "Do you remember?"
She looked at the young man at that time, and although she could no longer remember anything, she still remembered his gentle face.
Xie Huaijin said: "When I was a child, my father took me to walk through this mountain, and it was also at this location. My father jokingly told me that there was a treasure in the mountain."
Now Mr. Li said: "The treasure really exists."
At that time, Ci Ying asked Xie Huaijin: "Do you want to find the treasure that the master of the family mentioned?"
At that time, Xie Huaijin said, "I want to give it to you."
Ci Ying's eyes turned red. She thought of herself at that time. She looked at Xie Huaijin for a long time before saying, "It's a very good gift." But she said in her heart that it was just an illusory legend.
It turned out to be a real treasure.
Mr. Li didn't know why Ciying was crying, and Ciying didn't know either.
She didn't know how much love Xie Huaijin had implicitly expressed.
I don’t know how much sincerity there is in those things they once trampled on together and later couldn’t put back together.
Ci Ying was even a little angry.
Until now, Xie Huaijin has never told her about this.
If Mr. Li hadn't mentioned it, she would never have discovered it in her life.
Xie Ran nudged Li Sheng with his elbow. Li Sheng handed him a handkerchief and asked gently, "What's wrong?"
Ciying said, "It's okay."
She said to Mr. Li, "Thank you very much. We will go together to look for it in a couple of days and use all the money for the academy's expenses."
Even Xie Ran felt that this was inappropriate. He waved his hands and the booklet in his hand: "Ciying, we are just opening an academy, not raising an army. That's enough. You can give me the things in it next year. If you keep giving me like this, I will soon lose count."
Ci·Wealthy and Powerful·Ying reluctantly agreed.
Of course, the main reason was that she wanted to settle accounts with someone else.
This was really a difficult move to make, but Ci Ying went forward angrily, and seeing the young man's slightly confused face, she leaned over and kissed him. The young man couldn't resist and asked with a smile, "What's wrong?" Ci Ying said, "I hate you" and kissed him again.
Xie Huaijin reached out and hugged her, closing his eyes and gently responding to Ci Ying's kiss until Ci Ying stopped, pinched Xie Huaijin's face with both hands and said over and over again: "You are a nuisance, you are a nuisance."
The young man has upturned eyes, which are delicate and noble, and the red corners of his eyes are particularly beautiful.
Ci Ying didn't want to be confused, so she kissed him again, and as she kissed him, she started to cry and laugh.
She had never seen anyone express love like this before, it was as if she had found the love that Xie Huaijin had hidden in the clues.
His love was always especially obvious when she wasn't looking.
Ci Ying thought with tears in her eyes, this was not his fault, nor was it her fault.
There is nothing wrong with their love.
Unable to blame anyone, it turned into a kiss with tears.
At the end of the kiss, the two of them pressed their foreheads together, and Ci Ying sat astride Xie Huaijin.
The young man could already feel the weight on his legs. He hugged him and whispered, "What's wrong? Can you tell me?"
Ci Ying shook her head. It happened a long time ago. He hadn't told her about it, and she didn't want to tell him about it either.
It is difficult to say whether there is any element of anger. Ci Ying just doesn't know how to put it. How should she say that one day she accidentally discovered the care and love he had once scattered.
Joy, blame? Or something else?
Ci Ying was thinking about getting angry all the way here, but when she saw Xie Huaijin, she couldn't get angry. There were still many doubts between them, and many things that she still didn't understand might come true one day in the future, as long as they were together.
Ci Ying kissed him again, kissing him casually and randomly.
Like a kitten.
Xie Huaijin simply let Ci Ying kiss him. After Ci Ying had kissed him enough, he lay on top of Xie Huaijin, mumbling, "Xie Huaijin, I hate you."
The young man said softly, "It's okay, I love you."
Ci Ying's eyes were filled with smiles, but she quickly retracted them. She pinched Xie Huaijin's face and whispered, "I said I hate you!"
The young man looked at Ci Ying tenderly: "Yes, I love you."
Ciying had no more tricks. She surrendered and said with a smile, "I love you, too, I love you, too."
She looked into his eyes.
I love you the most.
Outside, the snow fell silently. Ci Ying held Xie Huaijin's hand and whispered, "Another year has passed."
The young man also looked out the window with her. The snowman they built for Mo Yu and Zhu Guang was long gone, leaving only a thick pile of snow, thicker than the snow in other places, just like the bulging grave after a person's death, which will become shorter year by year, until finally, except for the tombstone standing tall, the pile of earth is completely flat.
Xie Huaijin said softly, "Another year has passed."
Ci Ying smiled and said, "Learn how I speak."
The young man hugged her and kissed her. Ci Ying closed her eyes and the moon fell into her eyes.
Good night, moon.
The next day, when the two got up, it was already noon.
This attitude was really unlike that of a host. Ci Ying reflected on her actions in her quilt for another half an hour. Xie Huaijin sat in a wheelchair, looking at the snow outside the window. After Ci Ying had slept in bed for a while, she stood up, put on her clothes, and walked to Xie Huaijin: "Good morning."
The young man smiled gently: "Good morning."
Ci Ying stood beside the young man and looked at the snow outside the window with him.
Xie Huaijin said, "I've asked someone to take Li Sheng and Xie Ran out for some fun, and we'll have dinner together when they come back in the evening."
"Did you say I didn't get up?" Ci Ying asked pettily.
The young man looked at Ci Ying with a smile. Ci Ying touched his nose and felt that it was because he had been with Yan Ji for too long.
She squeezed Xie Huaijin's face destructively: "Bad guy, bad guy."
Xie Huaijin kept looking at Ciying: "Okay."
Ci Ying felt bored, but the corners of her mouth curled up again. She stood quietly beside Xie Huaijin and said softly, "The snow is so heavy this year."
Xie Huaijin said: "Last year's was about the same."
Ci Ying hugged Xie Huaijin and said, "Next year, I hope Xie Huaijin can build a snowman with me."
"Instead." Ci Ying added with a smile: "A person was getting wet in the snow."
The young man defended himself by saying, "I had an umbrella."
Ci Ying covered her ears: "It's just raining."
Ci Ying found it difficult to describe the scene she saw that day. She was making a snowman and turned around to see the young man standing alone in the snow. The marks left by his wheelchair were all covered up. Although she knew that he was there to accompany her, she felt an unprecedented loneliness in him.
At that time, Ci Ying thought that no matter what, she didn't want to leave Xie Huaijin alone anymore.
She will always stand by Xie Huaijin.
The past, what the past.
In the future, they have countless futures.
The two of them watched the snow for a while and then began to wash up. Xie Huaijin did not resist as before. Ci Ying began to help Xie Huaijin wash up and get up. She could actually feel that Xie Huaijin still cared about her, but she was trying hard, and he was also trying hard.
No one wanted what happened in the farmhouse that day to actually happen.
Both of them want to be together well.
Xie Huaijin's hidden wounds and inferiority complex that had been rotting were forcibly dragged out into the sunlight by Ci Ying. Both of them were in pain under the scorching sun, but fortunately, behind the pain was a slow rebirth.
Both of them are trying to overcome a lot.
Ci Ying became more and more accustomed to handling official business with Xie Huaijin. Compared with before, she began to ask him less questions and sometimes even gave Xie Huaijin some advice.
However, the situations in Chang'an and Mobei are completely different, so sometimes when Xie Huaijin asked, Ci Ying could only say that she didn't know.
Later, Ci Ying also began to pay attention to Chang'an's affairs. She had always deliberately separated them before, but later she thought that she and Xie Huaijin were one, and it seemed that there was no need to do so.
The two of them occasionally handled official business together, and Ci Ying always had more official business to do than Xie Huaijin. This made Ci Ying very angry, and she felt that Yan Ji was not doing his job well. But when she thought of Yan Ji's daily work efficiency, such as the fact that it took him ten years to catch Xie Huaijin, Ci Ying felt relieved again.
When she told Xie Huaijin about this, the young man tapped her forehead and said, "Don't joke about this kind of thing."
Ci Ying lowered her head and started laughing while correcting the papers.
She didn't know what true relief felt like, but she felt that this was better than before.
Seeing her laughing so hard she couldn't even hold the pen, the young man pondered for a moment and asked, "If you had to choose ten million times, Ciying, who would you choose?"
Ci Ying immediately realized that her laughter had caused trouble. It was indeed not good to take too big a step.
She raised her eyes to look at the young man. His expression was gentle, not intending to settle scores. He seemed sincere, as if he were truly asking, "If you had ten million chances, Ciying, would you choose me?"
Ci Yinghui.
She rushed over, hugged him, and whispered softly amidst the young man's heartbeat, "I choose you."
In case the young man didn't hear clearly, Ci Ying said in full: "I choose you, Xie Huaijin."
"Really?" When these three words came out of the young man's mouth, Ci Ying even thought she was hallucinating, because she could hardly imagine such hesitant words coming out of Xie Huaijin's mouth, but it was indeed what Xie Huaijin said.
Ci Ying probably realized at this moment how much insecurity she had given to Xie Huaijin, to the point that he would ask "Really?" whenever he heard her choose his answer.
She blinked and told her lover seriously: "Really."
She lowered her eyes, still speaking frankly, and said with difficulty: "Actually, I... used to..."
Not wanting to embarrass her, the young man hugged her while she was halfway through her words and said softly, "Okay, I understand."
Ci Ying felt that Xie Huaijin didn't know, so she tried to open her mouth for a long time before finally saying, "Actually, I would have chosen you before. Except for the first time, I would have chosen you every time after that."
This is Ciying’s answer.
She could not ignore morality and ethics, but beyond morality and ethics, her heart always leaned towards Xie Huaijin.
This was something she only understood about her own heart a long time later.
It took her a long time to tell her lover.
Xie Huaijin was stunned for a long time, then spoke with a faint smile.
Ci Ying looked at her and felt that Xie Huaijin was like a spring flower.
The spring flowers said, "Thank you."
Ci Ying's eyes slowly turned red. She carefully stroked the young man's face with her hand, and then touched his eyes little by little. Warm tears slid down her fingers. She couldn't imagine that Xie Huaijin cried because of her words.
She kissed his tears and he saw her in his arms.
Ci Ying felt the two people's moist heartbeats, and her eyes also turned red.
Love and tears seem to be inseparable.
At dinner time, everyone sat at the same table.
To this day, Xie Ran still finds it amazing that one day she could actually sit at the same table with the eldest son to eat New Year's Eve dinner. Although it was not New Year's Eve dinner, there was not much difference.
In this situation, she could only think of one word - "chickens and dogs prosper". Xie Ran looked at Li Sheng, and from Li Sheng's hesitant eyes, she felt that Li Sheng might think so too. This can be said to be a noble person looking for a soulmate in the mountains and rivers.
Mr. Li looked at Xie Ran blinking at him, not understanding what he meant at all, and just drank his wine quietly.
In the past, he was in poor health and could not taste it. Now that he is well, he naturally wants to try the good wine of the Xie Mansion.
Ciying was very happy, and joy overflowed from her brows.
Seeing Ciying happy, everyone at the table was happy.
After dinner, Xie Ran asked Ci Ying to wait for a while in a mysterious manner.
Ci Ying said "OK", and as expected, the next step was the gift-giving segment, and Ci Ying also prepared a gift.
After a while, fireworks bloomed in the night sky.
She was stunned for a moment, then looked at Xie Huaijin, who shook his head. Ci Ying then looked at Li Sheng, who nodded. They all admired Xie Ran's surprise. When Xie Ran returned, the fireworks were in full swing. Ci Ying said, "It's beautiful."
Xie Huaijin followed: "Beautiful."
Li Sheng followed: "Liang."
Xie Ran held Ci Ying's hand: "Hey!"
Ciying also gave away her gift, which was a newly edited book.
She wrote it over and over again for several years, but never finished it, so she didn't tell Xie Ran.
Xie Ran's eyes immediately turned red. No one knew how precious this gift was. She hugged Ci Ying and said, "There's no need to do so much..."
Ci Ying said softly, "I did it in my spare time. It didn't take me much time. You know, I was still lying in bed when you guys came."
Xie Ran certainly knew it wasn’t true.
It must have taken a lot of time and effort, and it's not as easy as it sounds. Ciying only has a few days of rest a year except during the Chinese New Year. There are so many affairs in Mobei and she has to run back and forth for the eldest prince's soldiers. Xie Ran doesn't know how Ciying can find the time.
After the fireworks ended, Xie Ran and Ci Ying went to talk in private, while Xie Huaijin and Li Sheng stayed.
Mr. Li asked, "Are you feeling better?"
Xie Huaijin: "Well, it's much better than before."
Mr. Li looked at Xie Huaijin without any jealousy or envy. It was nothing anymore after all these years. As he watched them walk along the way, the spark in his heart disappeared a long time ago. It was only by chance that he found out that Xie Huaijin thought Ci Ying liked him back then, otherwise he wouldn't have done so many ridiculous things.
But is it ridiculous?
Mr. Li thought not.
Xie Huaijin liked Ciying, but when he felt that Ciying liked another person, he did not persecute or forcibly occupy her. Instead, he offered her benefits and asked if he could enter the mansion to serve Ciying.
To be fair, Mr. Li was willing, but Ci Ying was not.
Mr. Li knew very well that Ciying had only liked Xie Huaijin from the beginning to the end, but for the sake of his own selfish thoughts, Mr. Li still agreed.
Just based on this, Li Sheng felt that he had no right to be jealous or even envious.
He wished Xie Huaijin and Ciying the best.
I wish all lovers will finally get married.
Li Sheng smiled and asked, "When are you planning to go to Mobei?"
Xie Huaijin said softly, "Wait until after the New Year."
The two people were obviously not familiar with each other, and their relationship was not very good, but at this moment they talked like old friends.
Li Sheng thought of it even faster than Ci Ying. After Ci Ying had traveled thousands of miles again, Xie Huaijin would not be willing to be separated from Ci Ying again. Therefore, things in Chang'an would be accelerated, and the world would soon have a different pattern.
Having said that, there is actually nothing more to talk about.
When Ci Ying and Xie Ran were about to return, Li Sheng suddenly heard the young man say, "When your father and my father met, I, the Xie family, apologize to you."
This was something Li Sheng had never thought of in his life.
He looked at Xie Huaijin. The young man was sitting in a wheelchair and slowly bent down.
Li Sheng's words were a little awkward: "It has nothing to do with you. My father... deserves it."
Xie Huaijin shook his head: "The past cannot be shed. All I can give you is an apology. Thank you for helping Ciying."
Li Sheng suddenly felt relieved and burst into laughter. He had never laughed so heartily in his life. He looked at Xie Huaijin and said, "Sometimes I hope you can be a little worse, so that I still have a chance, but Mr. Xie, you are a good person." Much better than Xie Qingyu, his father, and those people who are in the same nest with snakes and rats.
Mr. Li didn't think that the Xie family could raise a true gentleman, but at this moment, he felt that because of Ci Ying, Xie Huaijin was becoming a true gentleman.
If Ci Ying had not been there, according to what Li Sheng knew, the eldest son of the Xie family would probably have been destroyed along with the Xie family ship. The monster raised according to the Xie family's ancestral teachings would have eventually torn apart everything dirty in the Xie family. Of course, his Li family was not clean either. There was no clean family in the Chang'an City.
"No chance." The young man whom he described as a "good man" said coldly.
Li Sheng smiled and looked at Xie Ran and Ci Ying coming from a distance: "I wish Mr. Xie and Ci Ying a happy marriage."
A "good person" should leave room for others to save their reputation, but when it comes to Ci Ying, it is normal for Master Xie not to give it. It is not easy for him to be nice to someone who covets his wife.
Mr. Li thought of the past when Xie Huaijin talked to him about "sharing a wife", and he couldn't suppress the smile on his face.
Ci Ying and Xie Ran looked at the two in surprise. Ci Ying stepped forward and pinched Xie Huaijin's ear. Xie Ran asked curiously, "Why are you laughing like that?"
Li Sheng shook his head: "Secret."
Ci Ying kept looking at Xie Huaijin. Noticing the young man's hands were a little cold, she said softly, "It's late. Let's go back first. If you want to go see some acrobatics outside, I'll have the guards take you out of the house. It should be quite lively today."
Xie Ran waved his hand and said no, saying that he was tired and asked Ci Ying to go back to bed quickly.
Mr. Li also said no.
Ci Ying agreed, told the maid to send the two back to the side room, and pushed the wheelchair to Xie Huaijin's yard.
After they walked a little further away, Ci Ying's gentle voice sounded.
"What's the matter?"
The young man shook his head.
Ci Ying smiled softly: "But my husband's face is very cold."
They rarely used such intimate terms. Ci Ying bowed her head and said, "Can't you tell me?"
Xie Huaijin looked at Ci Ying, whose eyebrows were gentle and eyes were inclusive.
He pinched Ciying's face.
This was a move she wouldn't normally do. Ci Ying pushed Xie Huaijin into the room, and a thought suddenly occurred to her. She whispered, "Are you jealous? But I haven't even spoken to Mr. Li today."
Ci Ying coaxed Xie Huaijin, even though Xie Huaijin did not look unhappy.
The young man shook his head.
Ci Ying knew she couldn't get any more answers, so she hugged him and said, "If it's not jealousy, then what is it? Did you have an argument or a fight with Mr. Li?" The more she talked, the more impossible it seemed, and Ci Ying started laughing at herself.
Xie Huaijin could see that Ciying was very happy today.
He kissed Ciying's face and said softly, "There was no quarrel, no fight."
Ci Ying said softly, "Okay."
"Xie Huaijin, I love you."
Xie Huaijin was stunned for a moment, and then he received a gentle kiss on his forehead. It was very light, very gentle, and carried a strong sense of comfort, even though he didn't say it, even though he didn't show it at all.
The young man stared at Ci Ying in a daze, as if he had the best lover in the world.
You have to be very good to tolerate someone like him.
......
Li Sheng and Xie Ran left after staying for a few days. The affairs of the academy were about to get busy again. They came to Chang'an just to take time off. Ci Ying was reluctant to let them go but also understood that there was a reason. It was difficult to keep them, so she just gave them a bunch of things and asked them to help deliver them to Ru Zhen. Naturally, many of them were also for Li Sheng and Xie Ran.
Looking at Xie Ran sticking his head out of the carriage and waving at her, Ci Ying was a little dazed, then turned around and threw herself into the young man's arms.
This seems to be the separation between people.
Friends who used to be with her day and night together, now she only sees them once a year or once every few years. Even though she has gotten used to it, Ciying still feels a little sad when she really says goodbye.
But when this person turned out to be Xie Huaijin, Ci Ying could no longer bear it.
After the New Year, she will stay in Chang'an for a maximum of one month before returning to Mobei. If there is something urgent, she may have to leave in a few days.
Ci Ying hadn't figured out how to tell Xie Huaijin yet, but she also understood that Xie Huaijin would definitely know about it.
So the two of them hugged each other, and Ciying's reluctance overflowed from her tightly closed and trembling eyes.
This mood was supposed to last for a few days, but a piece of good news made Ci Ying forget about it temporarily. The next day, Xu Yun came to her house and gave her another set of acupuncture. Ci Ying clearly heard Xie Huaijin's muffled groan.
The feeling of pain means consciousness, and by the time Xu Yun finished a set of acupuncture, he was already excited.
Xu Yun handed the new prescription to the maid, gave some instructions on important matters, and then continued with acupuncture and massage. Ci Ying saw hope of recovery from the sweat on Xie Huaijin's forehead, but she clenched her hands and waited for Xu Yun's reply.
Half an hour later, Xu Yun put down the needle in his hand and said to Ci Ying with a chuckle, "Ci Ying, it seems like it really worked this time."
Ci Ying covered her mouth, and before she saw Xie Huaijin stand up again, her tears were about to fall.
Xu Yun asked Ci Ying to come over and put Xie Huaijin's hand on Ci Ying's shoulder. Ci Ying looked at Xie Huaijin sideways. The young man was obviously not feeling well, but when he saw Ci Ying, he said softly: "Call Candle One and Candle Two. I'm too heavy and you'll get tired holding it up."
Xu Yun felt that what Xie Huaijin said made sense, but she felt that at a time like this, Ciying would prefer to do it herself.
As expected, Ci Ying carried Xie Huaijin without a word: "No."
Xie Huaijin smiled softly, sweat continued to drip down his forehead, and his consciousness was actually not that clear.
Ci Ying propped the man up and saw the young man take a slow step forward, but soon knelt down. Ci Ying worriedly helped him up. Xu Yun, who was standing by, said, "It's normal. He hasn't been out of bed for a long time. Even though he gets massages and acupressure every day, he still feels uncomfortable at first."
Ci Ying felt a little relieved and continued to support Xie Huaijin. Sweat also appeared on her forehead.
Xie Huaijin looked at Ciying and stood up with all his strength. He didn't ask Zhuyi and Zhuer to come over. The two of them walked slowly. When they reached the corridor, Xu Yun asked Ciying to put Xie Huaijin down. Ciying and Xie Huaijin sat down together. Xu Yun said, "It has to be gradual. Don't go too fast. You have to persist every day."
Then Xu Yun picked up his pen and briefly wrote a prescription for recovery: "Follow this. I'll be here for the next two days. I'll adjust the prescription for Master Xie in two days."
Ciying said, "Thank you very much."
Xie Huaijin also said, "Thank you."
Xu Yun looked at the two people and said with a smile, "Why did the couple thank me twice?"
Looking at the two people holding hands tightly, Xu Yun stretched and felt a little relieved. After studying for several years, visiting Doctor Li, visiting his uncle, and even going to his master's grave to get scriptures, the eldest son's leg finally showed signs of recovery.
For a period of time afterwards, Ci Ying accompanied Xie Huaijin in rehabilitation training.
At first, Xie Huaijin needed someone to support him before he could barely walk two steps. Later, he could walk about ten steps. Later, he could walk one or two steps without support. Then, he could walk for a while...
During this period, Xie Huaijin had to kneel down countless times, and Ci Ying felt pain just watching it, so she sewed knee pads onto her trouser legs overnight so that it wouldn't hurt so much when she kneeled down. However, she couldn't wear them directly because they would restrict the movement of her legs.
Ci Ying accompanied Xie Huaijin in practice every day. At first, she supported Xie Huaijin. Later, although she did not support him, she was always by his side to watch out for him falling. One day, Xie Huaijin was able to walk by himself.
Ci Ying stood at the end of the corridor, watching the young man walk towards her step by step.
Her heart was beating very fast, and when the young man hugged her, her tears flowed down.
She felt that she cried just as much now as before, but she also knew that the two were completely different. She hugged Xie Huaijin tightly and cried, "Xie Huaijin, you are so great."
The young man's sweet laughter rang in her ears, and Ci Ying cried even harder.
When he walked to Ci Ying, Xie Huaijin had no strength left. The rehabilitation training during this period made him accustomed to putting some of his strength on Ci Ying, which was a rare thing in the past.
Xie Huaijin's expectation for his lover has never been to support himself.
But if you ask him what he expected.
It seems that only that person is Ci Ying.
And Ciying supported him.
Amidst Ciying's tears, the young man said gently, "Ciying is even better."
Ci Ying cried and said, "Well, I'm great too, I, I'm awesome!"
Xie Huaijin was smiling and Ci Ying was crying. The March wind blew towards the two people hugging each other. The petals scattered in the yard were blown up by the wind, and the sun shone down gently.
Later, an urgent document from Mobei foreshadowed Ciying's return.
Ci Ying was reluctant to leave, but she had to leave quickly. She had already troubled Yan Ji too much in the past few months. After all, she was the one in charge, and she had to go back when the expedited documents arrived.
She talked about this matter with the young man in the evening. She was so reluctant to let him go, so while she was talking, her eyes were always on Xie Huaijin, never leaving the young man's face for a moment.
After Xie Huaijin finished listening, he just touched Ci Ying's head and asked softly, "When is the latest time to leave?"
Ci Ying counted the days in her mind and whispered, "Three days later."
Then she could take the faster water route and return before the time Yan Ji said.
The young man said gently, "Okay."
Xie Huaijin originally wanted to hide this from Ciying. After all, there were still some things that had not been dealt with. He was not sure whether he could go to Mobei in three days. But looking at Ciying's bitter face, he sighed and said softly, "Ciying."
Ci Ying responded softly, her eyes fixed on Xie Huaijin, wishing she could tuck the person in front of her into her sleeves and take him back.
But I can only think about it.
She kissed the young man's lips lightly, then waited quietly for him to speak.
The young man said first: "I'm not sure."
Ci Ying actually didn't hear clearly what Xie Huaijin was saying, and just said "hmm" obediently.
Xie Huaijin continued, "I'm almost done with the things in Chang'an. Maybe I can go back with you."
Ci Ying's mouth was faster than her brain. After a "hmm" sound, she realized what the young man said. She immediately stood up happily and hugged the young man's neck, asking softly, "Really?"
She didn't dare to speak too loudly, fearing that it was a dream, but she couldn't hide the smile on her lips.
Xie Huaijin looked at Ciying tenderly: "Yes, really, even if it's not possible after three days, I will definitely go to see Ciying within a month."
【Author’s words】
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