Chapter Two
-Yu Shaohan-
Xiao Lan and I ended up following the strange eyepatch-wearing man without considering that he might be a bad guy.
Or rather, we did consider it, but it didn't really matter—after all, we're penniless right now, why would bad guys be after us? Right? Besides, Xiao Lan's Instantaneous Sword is no joke.
Oh, speaking of Xiao Lan and the Instantaneous Sword...
She felt she no longer needed to use her wife (her sword; sword cultivators were really strange, always treating their swords like wives) as a barbecue grill. While muttering something like, "My dear wife, I have finally defeated the evil Emperor Shaohan and freed you...", she took out the special towel for the Instantaneous Sword from her storage bag and tenderly wiped her sword.
I only heard that one sentence she said; I was too embarrassed to listen to the rest. I had no doubt that if I had listened any longer, I would have dug my toes out of the entire Henghe Sect.
After wiping her Instant Sword with a towel, Xiao Lan started looking for a bunch of things like five-star longsword care solution, sandpaper, wet wipes, and so on.
I have a reasonable suspicion—no wonder those sword cultivators are poor, it turns out they spend all the spirit stones they get from quests on maintaining their spirit swords!
But since she bought so much stuff, why didn't she buy some fasting pills or something? They're not that expensive, and they'd definitely be cheaper than all this junk she bought!
...
The strange eyepatch-wearing man led us through a maze of turns, finally arriving at the entrance of a shop. A sweet aroma wafted from inside, eagerly wafting into my nostrils. The fragrance was so enticing that even I, someone who doesn't usually crave desserts, felt my appetite whetted, let alone Xiao Lan, a huge sweet tooth. She immediately sheathed her Instant Sword, her eyes sparkling as she stared intently at the desserts inside.
Wipe your drool.
Although I was also tempted, face is the most important thing, and I definitely had to dress up a bit before going into such a beautiful dessert shop. I immediately straightened my clothes, puffed out my chest, and nudged Xiao Lan with my elbow to remind her to be mindful of her image. Look, look, this girl is practically drooling.
The strange blindfolded man seemed to know we couldn't understand him, so he stopped talking, beckoned to us, and opened the door, presumably to let us come in with him.
Before anyone could react, Xiao Lan darted inside after seeing his movements. Coupled with her already filthy gray clan robes, she really did look like a big gray rat.
...I don't know her.
Her beggar-like appearance was truly an eye-opener. I silently took a few steps back, pretending not to know her.
"Xiao Lan? Who's that? Hahaha, you're joking. How could I possibly know her?"
But the other person just didn't understand what I was thinking at all, or maybe they did understand but insisted on doing this stupid thing. She and the strange eyepatch guy each occupied a seat and were waving at me excitedly, urging me to come and sit down.
"Come here, Shaohan! Come on, come on, sit here!"
"..."
Everyone around me was staring. My legs felt like they weighed a ton, and I walked slowly, wishing I could cover my face with a mask. Luckily, this wasn't the cultivation world, or my reputation would be ruined—completely ruined.
#Shocking! A top disciple of a certain sect, dressed in her filthy gray sect robes, enters a high-end dessert shop. A genius girl from another sect, who is intimately involved with her, causes a scene in public. Furthermore, a strange man is accompanying them. Is all of this a sign of distorted humanity or moral decay?#
“This is too slow,” she complained to me. “What would you like to eat? The man with the eye patch is going to treat us to dinner.”
So why eat at a dessert shop? As someone who prefers savory food, I can't accept it.
“Oh right.” The man with the eye patch spoke up. Although it was still a bunch of unintelligible gibberish, the long, rectangular box in his hand inexplicably spoke our language, “What would you like to eat? I’ll order.”
I blinked, stunned: "...You can talk?"
Xiao Lan started looking at me like I was an idiot: "Nonsense, haven't you heard him speak before?"
"That's not what I meant... I meant—he can actually speak our language... no, or rather, we can actually understand him?"
The strange blindfolded man started acting crazy, and I inexplicably felt a sense of déjà vu for Xiao Lan in his actions.
"No, no, no, ding ding ding ding—please allow me to introduce you to the mobile phone's self-translation function! But where did you come from? You don't even know about self-translation?"
I silently muttered to myself: Nonsense, translating on our own? We don't even know what that square is called—it's called a cell phone, right?—a cell phone.
Xiao Lan clapped enthusiastically, "Wow! That's amazing! So, can we order now? I'm starving, please—"
I continued to mentally remark: perfunctory, so perfunctory.
The strange eyepatch-wearing man didn't seem to care. He waved his hand, took the menu from a young woman, and handed it to Xiao Lan. Upon seeing the menu, Xiao Lan was momentarily stunned, then quickly picked up a pencil and scribbled down a few desserts: "That's all."
I reasonably suspect that she didn't even see which one was which, and just randomly picked a few desserts.
"Never mind." I grabbed the menu. "I'll order..."
"..."
I admit I spoke a little too quickly just now.
Nice, beautiful, but I don't recognize a single word on the menu—what kind of weird foreign ants are these?
In the end, it was the strange blindfolded man who took the menu, and then burst out laughing.
“Let’s do it according to these schedules,” he said.
...
It must be said that although the strange eyepatch-wearing man looked odd, the desserts he chose from the dessert shop were quite delicious.
The portion size is a bit small.
Although I only glanced at it briefly, I noticed that Xiao Lan had drawn quite a lot of desserts. However, when all the desserts were served, there were only three small, pitifully delicate cakes.
Oh, and there are two ice cubes. Those two ice cubes are sitting pitifully in a big plate, and they have long since melted into water.
Normally, I would have already found my phone, taken a picture of myself with the exquisite cake, and posted it on social media, but now…
Why post on social media when you're starving?
Okay, the above sentence is obviously nonsense—the real reason is that my communicator is missing.
Damn it, this cake is so beautiful and exquisite! I would have looked so cool if I had taken a picture and posted it on social media!
"Strong sister."
Xiao Lan rolled her eyes and cursed at me, then turned back to chat with the strange eyepatch-wearing man: "I remember I ordered quite a lot?"
The other person couldn't help but burst out laughing again.
Alright, case solved. Xiao Lan couldn't read, so he just ordered random things and ended up ordering three delicate little cakes, three piano pieces, top-notch service from a VIP waiter, and two ice cubes.
"..."
In other words, in the end, all we could eat were these three pitiful little cakes on the table.
I started to feel relieved that the big eater hadn't come over, otherwise those three small cakes would have been enough to fill her teeth!
The strange bespectacled man just smiled and propped his head up, watching Xiao Lan and me fight over the cake—the way he stared at us was like he was looking at monkeys in a zoo.
I was a little embarrassed, and my hands were a beat slower. In that moment, Xiao Lan snatched the last piece of chocolate cake from the plate.
However, Xiao Lan gave me half of the chocolate cake. But how could a small half-cake fill my stomach? In the end, she could only hug the water bottle in frustration and frantically drink water.
Seeing that we had finished the cake, the strange eyepatch-wearing man stopped wasting time with us and got straight to the point.
"You..." He tapped his index finger rhythmically on the table, "...can see the cursed spirits?"
Although I really want to answer the other person's question, I'm sorry, neither of us knows what a so-called "cursed spirit" is.
I looked at Xiao Lan, and Xiao Lan looked at me. We stared at each other, then replied in unison, "No—"
Strange eyepatch guy: "?"
He tilted his head and slowly typed a question mark.
But he wasn't stupid; he quickly realized we probably didn't know what a cursed spirit was. "A cursed spirit is what you stabbed with your swords at the beginning," he remarked. "You should have been able to see it, right? Wow, those outfits you're wearing are really unusual. Is it cosplay?"
We didn't know what cosplay was either, so we automatically skipped over what the other person said next. I slapped my forehead and suddenly realized, "Oh! So the cursed spirit is the thing we dressed up as a candied hawthorn at the beginning! Hmm, that cursed spirit is really dirty."
After all, when Xiao Lan was skewering candied hawthorns, we could even see the disgusting, purple slime inside. We were starving then and didn't think much of it, but now that we've eaten something and aren't so hungry anymore, we feel nauseous from the bottom of our hearts.
Xiao Lan's expression twisted for a moment again.
"Stop talking about candied hawthorns!" she complained to me. "How am I supposed to look at candied hawthorns properly now that you've said this?"
"Sorry, sorry. But don't you think this description is really appropriate? It really does look like a candied hawthorn, and you didn't say anything when I described it at first."
"But at that time... at that time... we didn't think of that, and we were so hungry!"
The strange eyepatch-wearing man burst into laughter at my description: "A perfect description!" He laughed and slapped the table, "What an amazing description! But it really fits, hahahahaha..."
I:"……"
Xiao Lan: "..."
Xiao Lan and I just stared blankly as he slapped the table and laughed heartily. Finally, after he had finished laughing, he introduced himself to us.
“I am Gojo Satoru,” he said. “A teacher at Tokyo Jujutsu High School.”
Are you interested in enrolling in the Spellcasting Academy?
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