Chapter Six
Xu Weiwei frowned slightly and said, "I feel like I can't control who I fall in love with. Actually, I know that the CP I ship is fake. They are just selling bromance. At first, I was a little angry and felt deceived."
But now I've let it go. It's just a different way of acting. They acted so well that I believed them. I can't say they were really wrong. After all, boy bands selling bromance is too common, so it's normal for them to do it too.
I don't think I mind having a girlfriend. I've always been pessimistic about love, because very few people have the experience of being in a relationship for a lifetime.
It seems like it only takes a moment for female fans of BL (Boys' Love) to ship couples. I really don't believe they've never had feelings for each other; they must have, they just might not even know it themselves.
I don't think I'll regret spending money on them, because if I had to do it all over again, I would still ship them as a couple and believe they are a real couple.
You might have been watching from the sidelines, so you empathize with and sympathize with the fans. But I actually think many CP (couple) fans are consciously sinking into this state.
They may have doubted countless times whether their CP (couple pairing) was real, but they still held onto a sliver of hope that it was real, just like the mentality of solo fans who think their idol is the best and has never made any mistakes. Even if they do make a mistake, they immediately choose to pretend to be blind and shift the blame.
In the end, I think all fandoms end up the same way: one-sided, unequal effort, and genuine feelings being betrayed. There are no perfect people in the world, but when you become a fan, your idol puts on a facade of perfection.
Everything he does, whether good or bad, will be optimized by you, his strengths amplified, and even his weaknesses can be turned into strengths, because the filter is very thick.
I actually think it's normal to create a persona for others, because I do that too. I often pretend to be someone I'm not, and I'm also afraid of others fully understanding me.
I won't show my true self to the public; I'll always hold back and hide certain things. Many idol drama leads ship as a couple off-screen, and people actually ship them as fans.
You know it might just be a business transaction, but it looks so sweet that you fall for it and think it's love. Can people who are just trying to make things work really distinguish between what's real and what's fake?
I don't know, but I guess it's hard to tell the difference. Like how I once liked an uncle, not romantically, but as a family member. I didn't know I liked him until he left me.
It was only after he left that I suddenly started to miss the days I spent with him. I realized then that I actually liked him. It was a realization that came too late; I only understood it after losing him.
Since they've already chosen to sell themselves, it's normal for me to believe them. Also, knowing they haven't been having affairs puts my mind at ease; at least they're not bad people.
Although as a CP fan and they are my idols, I know they are heterosexual and not gay, and I'm devastated, I can accept this outcome.
After all, many celebrity couples get divorced. Even if they are real, they may still break up. Knowing in advance that they are not real is a relief for me, and I can stop being a fan.
But those wonderful memories they gave me were truly amazing. Was my sincerity betrayed? I don't know, it seems so, yet it also seems not.
However, solo fans are in trouble. Regardless of the circumstances, their idol has indeed been in a relationship. It's just a matter of male and female girlfriends. I have no intention of making fun of it.
I just feel that as fans, we should not be criticized for choosing to give our hearts and love, no matter what, and it's okay to love the wrong person.
Just like some actors who get married and then return to acting, including in idol dramas, they still have many fans. It's possible that many fans simply can't accept their idols dating.
After all, many female fans may not want to be a mistress, and people who are willing to give love are generally quite morally upright, especially since the main character already has a girlfriend.
If you still fantasize about your idol, it's ultimately immoral. It's like deliberately ruining someone else's relationship, which is terrible. Many people can't do that, so they have no choice but to unfollow.
However, many fans probably unfollowed the celebrity because they felt deceived; they simply didn't approve of the relationship. I think celebrities get a lot of money and a lot of love, so in some ways they're quite lucky.
Li Nan tilted her head and teased, "Are you a kid? How can you say something so funny? Your perspective seems a bit off. You're a celebrity yourself, have you forgotten?"
Xu Weiwei shook her head and seriously denied it, saying, "No, I'm not a celebrity. I'm just a live streamer, someone who does live streaming and works in the online celebrity circle. I was lucky enough to participate in this variety show and get so much gossip about the entertainment industry from you. I'm so happy. It was totally worth it for me to come here."
Li Nan pouted and said, "Well, it's nothing. Since you're here, doesn't that mean you're part of the industry? You're an insider now."
Everything is difficult at the beginning. Once you get the first time, there will be countless more. Soon you will have more recording opportunities. There are many people who have gone from being internet celebrities to becoming stars. You are not the first. Don't feel pressured.
By the way, I actually share a similar view with you. You can tell from my attitude towards love that I've been single all this time. I feel that love is something that floats in the sky and doesn't really touch the ground.
Do you know the story of the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl? Essentially, it's a story about a victim falling in love with her kidnapper. The Weaver Girl was a fairy from heaven who came down to earth to play. She was bathing in a river when the Cowherd secretly watched her bathe and stole her clothes.
In today's terms, it's like a girl who has always been an excellent student, consistently ranking first in her class, and who is well-behaved and obedient. She attends a prestigious 985 university and majors in a top-tier program, but chooses to teach in a rural area because of her kind heart.
As a result, she was abducted to a bachelor's home in the mountains. He forced her to stay, sexually assaulted her, and made her have his child.
In ancient times, the Queen Mother of the West knew that there was a difference between immortals and mortals, but she still allowed the Weaver Girl and the Cowherd to meet for one day a year. That day was the Qixi Festival, which is also Valentine's Day.
Many couples celebrate this holiday now, but the holiday itself has a bad connotation, and I find it quite disgusting to celebrate it.
Just like many myths and legends abroad, many gods play dirty and chaotic roles, which are not beautiful at all. So sometimes, I can understand why there are so many countries of all sizes abroad.
I've always wondered what the original author of the Cowherd and Weaver Girl story truly intended. I think it might have been a reminder for wise future generations.
But it's very possible that he didn't think of these things; he simply saw some things that moved him, connected them, and fabricated this story.
Moreover, in ancient times, it was common for men to have one wife and multiple concubines. Love was not something people pursued; most people risked their lives to achieve their dreams.
I've always had a bias that women are always yearning for love and have a deep understanding of it, while men are very shallow and mostly driven by physiological desires.
But in reality, I've seen excellent men create animated films with a love theme that I particularly love, which are very profound and meaningful.
Even if real-life love is terrible, the ability to create such works suggests that people still have a high yearning and expectation for love.
I can only say that gender is not always that important; what matters is the person. In the entertainment industry, I have met many truly outstanding actors who are professional actors and whose goal is to perform well.
One advantage of talented actors over popular actors is their authenticity; they let their acting speak for itself. On the other hand, a major problem with popular actors is that their fans often cause trouble and demand their rights, feeling that the makeup artists and costume designers on set have wronged their idols.
Actually, it's the actor's own poor aesthetic sense. Even though the production team had prepared a makeup artist, he insisted on using his own and doing things his own way, resulting in a bunch of ridiculous actions.
I once saw a behind-the-scenes clip where an actor insisted on not using a stunt double to film a scene perfectly, which resulted in him developing a lifelong illness. I was speechless for a moment.
He worked so hard to film this scene, but it might not even make it into the final cut, making all his efforts futile.
To be honest, if I were the director, I definitely wouldn't want my actors to do this, given their pursuit of entertainment value and the desire to be the best.
Filmmaking certainly has an artistic aspect, but life is only once, and there's no need to sacrifice too much. A few mistakes can also be quite interesting. There's no need to strive for perfection, because there are no truly perfect people in the world.
Returning to the topic of love, I think there's a saying that people who have truly loved each other can't be friends, but I don't actually agree with that statement.
I've never been in a romantic relationship, but I believe that relationships between people aren't just about love. Even if you can't be lovers, after spending so many years together, you can become friends and family.
Some men even value their brothers more than their lovers. There's a saying that women are like clothes, but brothers are like limbs. I'm a woman, so I don't like that saying, but many men do hold this view.
Women might be willing to die for love, but men might not care at all. When they reach a certain age, they'll find someone suitable to marry and have children. What a load of rubbish their first love!
Why do people prioritize pursuing their dreams and building a career over pursuing love? Because a successful career is either good or bad, and it won't betray you.
Love, however, may turn sour one day. It's a miracle if it can stay good all the time, and miracles are the rarest thing in this world.
We all live simply in this world. Although no one is exactly the same as us, to be honest, I don't think my love is really that special.
I never want to start a relationship because if I'm destined to lose, I'd rather not have it at all. Even if I fall in love with someone, and they love me back.
We're together, but the ending is destined to be unhappy. Should I give up my career for him? Or should I scale back my career?
If I'm in a relationship and have a boyfriend, is it reasonable or normal for me to continue taking on romantic roles? What about basic respect for my boyfriend?
I was so immersed in the role that I genuinely fell in love with the other person while I was filming. In other words, I was having an emotional affair while filming that movie.
I can't bear to become that kind of heartless woman; it would make me feel so ugly. Of course, I know I'm not a perfect person; I have flaws, but I don't like being a heartless woman, and I don't like betraying other people's feelings, especially in love.
If I sacrifice my career and scale back my own, will my partner appreciate it? It seems like I should make sacrifices in a relationship, and I shouldn't have too many demands on my lover.
However, my career had been progressing smoothly until I started dating, which affected my career. There's a saying that true love is about supporting your future.
Will I really not regret sacrificing for love? Will I not resent it later? I don't know. If I suffer from negative emotions for a long time, then maybe I will.
Love might not make me better; it might actually make me worse, and I know I'm bound to become worse. This is because my need for love is extremely high, and almost no one can meet my requirements.
I want to be with my partner every moment, almost never apart. But if I do that, will my partner still love me? Will he get tired of me?
If he gets tired of me, if he feels he needs personal space, what about me? I'm probably destined to be very sad. I feel like I'm definitely not good at relationships, so the reason I'm still single is because I'm too scared.
I can't bear the bitter consequences of a failed love affair, so I'll give up before my own love story even begins. That way, the pain will be much milder, and I can bear it before the story even starts.
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