72: I feel a little wronged, and I also miss you a little.
When Shang Zhi came out of the coffee shop, she saw Lu Ke waiting for her. On her phone, there was a message from Yu Qing. This time, Pei Yanxiu glanced at her, said goodbye and left. He didn't mock the people surrounding her like before, and he didn't even ask her any more questions.
“Xixi, what I said last time might have been a bit extreme. I thought you might misunderstand when we got back. What I really meant was that you don’t need to work so hard. I can take care of you.” Lu Ke pulled Shang Zhi anxiously. Shang Zhi’s eyes were still following Pei Yanxiu’s back. She felt really pathetic. She hated him controlling her in everything, but when he really left, she was surprised to find that something seemed to be missing.
Perhaps, when two people have formed a connection for too long, if you cut off his connection, you can only let a part of your heart go with him.
This is not easy.
"Xixi, are you alright? Are you listening to me?"
"Brother Lu, I'm fine, I just want to be alone."
Shang Zhi didn't let Lu Ke accompany her. She walked alone to the park, and as she walked on the fallen leaves, she thought of the past. She remembered that four years ago she was even more willful than she was now, with a simplistic and extreme understanding of love. He said he was busy with work, but she refused to believe him and went to his office to question him, her voice cursing him could be heard throughout the entire floor.
He would wait until she had calmed down before quietly explaining, apologizing, and admitting that he hadn't cared enough for her.
In the past, he always felt that he hadn't cared enough for her, that he hadn't done enough, and he was always anxious and insecure.
Shang Zhi suddenly thought of the island he insisted on giving her a few days ago. Was he afraid she wouldn't have enough money and wanted to leave herself more assets in this way? Four years ago, when they first got together, he always gave her money. He always said that girls should keep more money on them, because having money gives them a sense of security and makes them feel more confident living alone.
He was indeed always strict with himself and would teach her carefully in private, but in public, he would never let her suffer the slightest grievance.
"Ah Zhi, what's going on between you and President Pei? I heard he's getting engaged to the youngest daughter of Yifeng Technology?" Shang Zhi's phone rang, and Lu Xingqi's words on the other end of the line surprised her.
"I don't know." Shang Zhi's heart sank, and she took a deep breath.
"I heard from Awang that the old man originally wanted them to get married, but it didn't happen before because of you. Now that Yifeng heard that President Pei is divorced, they have submitted a marriage proposal again. Azhi, are you really sure? Are you really not going to do it? You won't regret it?"
"What do I have to regret? There are plenty of men who like me. That control freak is leaving now, I'm overjoyed." Lu Xingqi could tell something was off from Shang Zhi's seemingly relaxed tone. These two bickering lovers had been entangled for so long, and now it was over? She couldn't believe it.
Everyone in Hong Kong knew that Pei Yanxiu liked Shang Zhi. Lu Xingqi always felt that it was only a matter of time before he caught her, and then they would live happily ever after.
"Are you sure? You don't want to try to win him back anymore? I heard that Yifeng's youngest daughter has long admired President Pei. She even went to Wanjia to see him after your marriage, but he asked her to leave. I'm telling you, you still have a chance. Don't wait until President Pei is really in someone else's hands before you regret it. You'll have nowhere to cry then. He's not like you, he's very well-behaved."
"I won't regret it. Let him go wherever he wants. I can't be bothered with him." Shang Zhi hung up the phone, feeling unhappy. She knew that now that they had broken up, it was his freedom to be with whomever he wanted, and she shouldn't interfere, but there was still something unsettling about her.
She forced herself out of this almost out-of-control emotion and focused on the important matter at hand. After all, the performance was about to begin, and she still needed to make the most of her time to practice.
Occasionally, she would start to look forward to it, hoping that figure would appear at the door as before, smiling and telling her not to stop.
But no.
one day.
Two days.
No one came, and there was no message.
When Shang Zhi saw the news on the trending topics that Pei Yanxiu was going to marry Yi Feng's youngest daughter, even though she was mentally prepared, her heart still skipped a beat.
Perhaps, having known him for too long, the separation couldn't be explained in just a few words. She knew he no longer belonged to her and shouldn't overthink things, but she couldn't help it.
That night, Shang Zhi couldn't sleep. She rarely had insomnia. In the past, she would laugh at Pei Yanxiu for having insomnia, saying that he was old and that's why he couldn't sleep. But now, she couldn't sleep either.
It turns out that insomnia isn't just a problem for older people; it can also be caused by feeling sad.
She couldn't resist dialing his number.
"Xixi?" The call was answered quickly, but Shang Zhi didn't know what to say.
"Xixi, are you alright?"
Will you come to see my performance, Uncle Pei?
"Of course, how could I miss something so important?"
"Am I still important now?"
"Xixi, what happened?" Pei Yanxiu paused, his gentle and concerned tone making Shang Zhi feel like crying.
"You lied to me! Didn't you say you wouldn't drink orange juice anymore? Didn't you say you wouldn't change your choices? You were just teasing me, weren't you? I knew it! Men are all like this; they can never give up orange juice!"
"Did you see something?"
"Yes, I saw it, I know it, I know everything! I thought you were different from them, but you're all the same, aren't you! They're all liars!"
"I didn't lie to you about anything, Xixi. To be honest, I've never lied to you during the time we've been together. I've been honest with you about everything, haven't I? If anyone would lie to us, it would be you. When we were kids, you broke two or three canes just for altering my report card to lie to me, didn't you?"
"Yes, you bullied me, hit me, and lied to me! You're so mean, so mean!" Shang Zhi couldn't stop crying, and she couldn't stop feeling wronged. She couldn't explain what she was wronged about, but she just felt wronged.
It's all his fault.
"Xixi, can you calm down? If you want to talk, I can have a proper chat with you."
"I'm not talking to you, I have nothing to talk to you about! In short, you've been bullying me for many, many years!" Pei Yanxiu felt that Shang Zhi's accusations against him today seemed unreasonable, but he could understand the unease in Shang Zhi's heart.
She accused him of lying to her today, and he guessed it was probably because of today's trending topics. He didn't know whether he should explain to her, or even if he should. And what good would it do to explain? Since they couldn't be together, they should calm down sooner, end this, and start a new life.
He knew it wouldn't be easy; he knew it all too well.
"Xixi, is there anything else you want to tell me? If not, I'm going to sleep now, okay? It's getting late, and I have a meeting tomorrow morning."
Shang Zhi felt a tightness in her chest. She had so much to say, but she didn't know how to say it or what to say.
She didn't even know what was wrong with her.
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