Chapter 75 Inflated Desires: Money and Men Accepted Together
When Lilith woke up with a start, the room was pitch black. She jumped up and quickly drew back the curtains, only to find that the sun was still shining brightly outside. She breathed a sigh of relief, hoping she hadn't missed the bank transfer scheduled for the afternoon.
The fatigue and a dizzying sensation in the back of her head reminded her of the excessive alcohol she had consumed a few hours earlier. The dirty shirt she clutched tightly in her hand reminded her of her somewhat unseemly behavior while drunk. Suddenly, she threw the shirt on the ground with disgust and angrily demanded that Hannah bring her a basin of clean water so she could wash the ink off her hands.
Just as Hannah brought the water up, Cecilia returned home after going out for a while. She immediately followed Hannah into Lilith's bedroom to check on the mistress of the house.
"How long have I been asleep?" Lilith asked calmly, clearly having regained her composure.
“About four hours,” Cecilia replied, pulling a stack of documents from her briefcase. “It’s 11 a.m. now, almost lunchtime. Ivanka has already prepared squid ink lasagna for you downstairs. Also, while you were resting, I went to oversee the delivery of flour to the bakery. The first batch of bread is already being distributed.”
“Very good.” Lilith was stunned for a moment before she realized what Cecilia was saying. “Thank you.”
"I also reviewed your design and calculation process for... fair securities. There were some parts that I didn't understand."
“Oh, oh, okay.” Lilith rubbed her eyes. “Hannah, you comb my hair, and Ivanka can iron the white dress in my closet. Cecilia, wait a moment, I’ll talk to you while I sit at the vanity…”
Lilith felt a wave of dizziness, and the images of her companions falling one by one before her eyes flashed before her eyes again. It wasn't the curse of the nightmare, nor Heinrich's revenge, but the crimes she herself had committed. Heinrich's questioning of her in the night echoed in her mind: "Lilith, have you never felt any remorse or regret?"
Of course she did. But what could she do? She had no choice. Whether it was facing marriage back then, or now having to leave Heinrich, she essentially had no choice.
She couldn't possibly have foreseen this before their marriage of convenience, or have known what kind of person Heinrich was before they met. Moreover, could Heinrich, as a former heir to a high position, have truly been willing to wholeheartedly submit to the opinions of a fallen illegitimate daughter before experiencing the harsh reality of being enslaved?
Stop thinking about him! Stop thinking about him altogether. Lilith kept repeating this to herself. Since she was prepared to part ways, she would pretend he had never existed...
After getting ready, Lilith, accompanied by Hannah, went to the Exchange Merchants' Guild, while Cecilia was assigned to handle other tasks. Work, work, work—if she filled all her time with work, there would be no time to think about Heinrich, right? The Merchants' Guild, the market, the court, the church… she bustled about in the newly recovering city of Venice, finally arriving at the bread distribution stall.
She smiled, looking with concern at each person who came to collect bread, embracing and greeting the grateful poor people, striving to play the role of a kind, righteous, and compassionate philanthropist. For some reason, she suddenly thought of Heinrich, and of him telling her about the village dances his parents held during the autumn harvest festival when he was a child. If she went to Frankfurt with Heinrich, would she wear the embroidered lace tutus of German girls and dance with him around the campfire and haystacks?
No, no way, that's just a pipe dream! She didn't want to go to that remote, impoverished place! She shouldn't think about him anymore. For some reason, Lilith grew increasingly angry, her smile almost fading. Finally, she feigned illness and dejectedly fled home early.
As soon as she got home, she wanted to lie down on the sofa in the living room to rest, only to find that all the unnecessary furniture had been sold off by her own orders, and the living room was now empty, as if the display had been cleared out specifically for a ball.
Helpless, she ran to the kitchen and asked Ivanka to have someone bring two old chairs from the bank's office the next day. She also asked what they wanted for dinner. In the middle of the conversation, Hannah suddenly rushed over to tell Lilith that a guest had come to visit her.
"Who is it? A man or a woman?" Lilith frowned instinctively.
“It’s a woman. She introduced herself as Mrs. Bianchi and said she was an old acquaintance of yours.”
Lilith searched her mind for the name that felt both familiar and strange. Then she remembered—this was the woman who had come to Lilith on the afternoon of the day Heinrich started his job, asking for a loan with her necklace.
Back then, she effortlessly demonstrated to that naive blond boy how she made a fortune by circulating a single necklace between the inner chambers and the market. Heinrich was a well-behaved boy then, nothing like the wicked boy he is now.
She trusted him so much, sharing her entire financial operation model with him, and yet he stole her entire set of business secrets and even used external capital to clone a bank. It's utterly despicable! Utterly despicable! What is it about this heartless man that she can't forget? She mustn't think about him anymore. Work comes first…
“Please invite her in,” Lilith cleared her throat. “Well, there’s no room in the living room right now, so let’s just bring her to the dining room.”
"Yes, ma'am."
Mrs. Bianchi wore a dark blue silk dress; although not extravagantly styled, it was clearly a new garment, with an excellent cut and superior fabric quality. It seemed her husband was doing quite well lately.
"Sister Bianchi! Long time no see." Lilith greeted her with a smile and a hug, leaving a symbolic kiss on her cheek. Then, she affectionately took her hand and pulled her to sit down beside her. "How have you been, sister?"
“I’m fine. Thanks to your help, my husband managed to weather the cash flow crisis caused by the shipwreck.” Although Mrs. Bianchi had heard about the fire at Lilith’s house, she was still quite surprised to see the bare state of her small house. However, her good upbringing prevented her from showing her emotions or asking anything she shouldn’t have. Instead, she gracefully instructed the maid following behind her to present the congratulatory gift to Lilith.
"These are some lace pieces I crocheted myself when I had some free time. They can be sewn into the lining of clothes as a small token of my appreciation."
"Thank you so much! I was just thinking of making some new clothes. But I've been so busy lately. As you can imagine, with war and plague coming one after another, it has a huge impact on the bank's operations."
"Perhaps there's still an unresolved dispute with Mr. Condalini," Mrs. Bianchi bluntly pointed out one of the core reasons why Lilith was so dedicated to her work. Lilith's smile froze instantly, unsure how to respond.
"Rest assured, I never intended to pry into your privacy. It just so happens that I have an older brother who is currently on duty at the Committee of Forty (the Venetian judicial body, equivalent to a court). Since I mentioned to him before that you had done me a favor, he brought up your case to me during casual conversation."
A light suddenly lit up in Lilith's eyes. Even before Madame Bianchi finished speaking, she realized how good news this was. Although the Committee of Forty had a system of rotating members every quarter, Lilith always worried that the vast majority of legal scholars in Venice were graduates of the University of Padua, and that they might have some connection with Lorenzo. Perhaps this was why Lorenzo chose to take their conflict to court.
"As it happens, my brother used to teach at the University of Bologna and mentored several outstanding students who are now working at a law firm in Venice. If you haven't yet hired a legal team, they might be able to help you."
“Thank you so much.” Lilith once again grasped Mrs. Bianchi’s hands solemnly. “I don’t know how to repay your kindness. If you need credit again in the future, please be sure to come to me.”
“This is my way of repaying your kindness, please don’t take it personally.” Mrs. Bianchi smiled gently. “I have already had someone copy down my brother’s contact information and those lawyers’ contact information. You are busy with work, so I won’t bother you any longer. I’ll take my leave now.”
"Thank you, Sister Bianchi..." "Once you're done with this busy period, I'd like to invite you over for a small gathering. May God bless you."
"May the Lord be with you."
Lilith personally escorted Madame Bianchi to the door, watching her gondola disappear around the bend in the canal. She vaguely remembered Madame Bianchi's hurried, flustered, and grateful departure last time, and her composed demeanor when speaking eloquently to Heinrich.
For some reason, she suddenly remembered her original intention for wanting to open a bank and enter the financial industry—she wanted to help her good friends from the convent school prevent their dowries from being swallowed up by their husbands' families when they got married. That was the first, and perhaps only, asset they could ever have in their lives, and she wanted to help young girls like herself hold onto that money, making it appreciate, appreciate, and appreciate like the capital held by men.
That's what capital is like. It expands endlessly, growing like greed, never satisfied, always wanting more. As a child, Lilith only hoped that she and her mother could have enough to eat and wear, but later, after realizing her lineage, she wanted to be recognized by her family and attend a convent school like other noble ladies.
After graduation, Lilith was initially quite content with supporting herself through her underground lending business. But gradually, she grew to want to establish a real bank, with branches throughout the Apennine Peninsula and even across Europe. She wanted money, power, more and more… She was proud of her ambition and pleased with her increasingly efficient execution… but she still wanted more.
Lilith never saw anything wrong with it. It was her greed and selfishness that propelled her forward, enabling her to gain more and give more. Successful transactions allowed both sellers and customers to get what they wanted; it was a win-win situation. She even did charity—even if it was just for public relations, she genuinely provided bread to the poor and filled their stomachs. And just over a decade earlier, she herself had been a poor little girl standing in long lines, receiving free bread from others.
She won't change; she'll never be satisfied. It's just that what she wants has changed now. She won't stop chasing money and power, but she wants more.
She longed to ride horses across the endless green fields at the foot of the Alps, to feed swans by the azure waters of Lake Zurich, to dance around a campfire in a spring village, to taste different cuisines, to lean against Heinrich and listen to his stories, and to travel with him to unknown places.
She wanted to be with him.
Why can't we have them all?
Lilith suddenly realized the crux of the problem that had been troubling her. Yes, why couldn't she have it all? She used to think that these desires were decadent, indulgent, hindering her progress, and conflicting with her career.
Absurd. She could have it all. Successful men never have to choose between career and love. They don't even need to choose between love and marriage. How many men already have wives of equal social standing, yet still have affairs? Lilith doesn't want marriage, doesn't want children, she just wants to be with the person she loves, why can't she have that?
Lilith didn't care what Heinrich thought, whether he was a slave or a viscount. She wanted him, and she would have him, just as she had always gotten everything she wanted. She was going to Frankfurt to find Heinrich and tell him her feelings. Whether she succeeded or not, she had to try. And before that, she had to deal with Lorenzo. Although Heinrich wouldn't help her this time, she didn't need his help; she would settle everything on her own.
“Hannah,” Lilith turned her head and asked the maid standing behind her, “can you write?”
"I can write, but..."
“No need for buts,” Lilith interrupted her. “Go and get some paper, cheap toilet paper, and the cheapest ink. We’re going to start working now, and do something really exciting.”
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Author's Note: More updates tomorrow! Lilith has finally figured it out~ [shy]
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