Chapter 133: Some Things Cannot Be Said
Gao Xiulan sniffed, untied her apron and glanced at Lu Dongcai. Lu Dongcai had already gone to coax his wife, so she couldn't bear to watch it anymore and followed Zhang Hongying.
After leaving the yard, Zhang Hongying went to the millstone to get her bowl. "Sister-in-law, have you eaten yet? Dongping made some pancakes and potato and bean soup. Want some?"
Gao Xiulan sighed and wiped her eyes with her hand: "I've eaten, why are you eating now?"
"Isn't work supposed to start tomorrow? I've been tidying up my private plot these past two days, so there's only a little work left. It's been taking a while, and I'll have dinner after I finish it." After saying that, he asked Gao Xiulan, "Isn't my eldest brother at home?"
Gao Xiulan nodded: "I'll go out after dinner."
Zhang Hongying quickly scooped the rice from the bowl into her mouth, wiped her mouth with her hand, placed the bowl on the millstone, and sat on it on tiptoe.
"I'm going to be busy again soon. I'm going to be very busy. I have to take a good rest when I can. Don't get angry at yourself for some small things." This was referring to what happened just now. It was not easy to say it directly, so this was the only way.
Gao Xiulan also leaned forward and sat with her. "I know what kind of temper I have. Not only at home, but everyone on the team knows it. I don't take things to heart, no matter how big or small. The smallest things really don't make me angry. In fact, they are just small things. The problem is that when there are too many small things, they become really annoying."
"Dongcai chose her on his own, and as a parent I can't say she's not good. So I asked someone to bring her back. You were there when the wedding took place. Four feet of cloth and two pounds of meat—there's no other such thing in Lujiazui, not even in the entire Xihe Brigade. The cloth was red, and anyone with a bit of sense would know it was for her to make a dress for her wedding. But she was so lucky that on her wedding day, she wore a dress so patched up it couldn't be mended anymore, and then she asked Dongcai to take her back."
"You know that her family is not kind, but you don't know that they think my Lu family is not kind, and think that I, Gao Xiulan, am not a good-for-nothing. I told my son that I didn't even give my daughter-in-law a set of clothes."
"I can't make a fuss about this. After all, she's already home, and we're going to live together in the future. She's also suffered a lot. She had a hard time at home. The other two girls were out, and I had her as my daughter-in-law, so naturally I treated her like my own daughter. She was fine for the first year or so, but after we got married after returning from Dongcheng, she became different. She's been causing trouble with Dongcai every now and then, and she never smiles all day long. If you call her, she'll respond, but if you don't call her, she'll be silent all day long, as if she doesn't exist at home."
"Then in May I found out I was pregnant. I was really happy about the pregnancy. Dongcheng and Shengxia had just gotten married and there was no news yet. Dongfu was still young, and Dongcai, no matter whether it was a boy or a girl, would be my first grandchild. We still have some cotton saved at home, and I was planning to make a cotton-padded jacket for your eldest brother and me by the end of the year. We haven't had a new cotton-padded jacket in almost ten years, and the cloth is all worn out."
"But now that I have a grandson, don't I have to take care of him? I ran around from house to house, scraping up scraps of cloth to make a patchwork quilt and a small pillow, and I took apart clothes to make cotton pants, and I also sewed the inside. Who knew that they would dislike it because it was old? If I hadn't accidentally overheard the couple talking in the house with the door closed, I wouldn't have known. All my efforts are seen as stinking dog shit."
Zhang Hongying didn't say a word and just listened to her chattering.
"Throughout my life, whether it's my own children or my brothers and sisters-in-law, I, Gao Xiulan, can always say with confidence that I have never owed anyone anything."
"A new one is fine. I still have the cloth coupons that Dongcheng sent last year. Your elder brother and I are already old, so it doesn't matter whether we wear new coats or not. As long as we have something to cover our heads and not show our flesh, it's enough. I gave it to her. I bought the cloth and let her do whatever she wants with it. After all this fussing, the clothes are ready, and she's crying over such a trivial matter. How can we live like this, crying and wiping tears all day long? Isn't it unlucky!"
She complained a lot, saying everything she could, but there were also things she couldn't bring herself to say to Zhang Hongying. Some things can be said, and some things can't be said. If you say them, it will cause another round of controversy.
Zhang Hongying sighed, "You always tell me to be open-minded about everything, and now I'm telling you the same thing. They say a daughter-in-law should be treated like a daughter, but a daughter-in-law here is really different from a biological daughter."
"You give birth to your daughter and you raise her yourself. You can spank her or scold her, but she'll still be affectionate and loving to you. There's no overnight grudge. It's different with your daughter-in-law. She was raised by someone else, so don't spank her or scold her. Even a wrong word will be taken to heart."
"As parents, we can only do our best. As long as we do our best, that's enough. As for the rest, it's up to the couple to decide how to do it. When children grow up and become independent, they are no longer like when they were little and needed food and drink."
Gao Xiulan said, "I know the truth. It's just that I've been holding it in for so long that I've become very angry. It's a case of if you respect me, I respect you back. It's good for everyone. It's normal to have some opinions of your own, and it's okay to have a bit of temper, but there has to be a limit, right? Everyone has a temper. I can't say I have to put up with it just because I'm older, right?"
As she spoke, she sighed several times in succession: "In this life, you really can't be free until you close your eyes. When I was a child, I always felt that life was so difficult. I wanted to grow up quickly so that I could have enough food and clothes. But when I grew up, there was endless work to do and endless suffering to endure. So I thought about getting married. If I found a man to marry, I would be a real adult and could live my life however I wanted."
"After I get married and have children, I think I'll wait until the children grow up. When they are old enough to support themselves, our mission will be accomplished."
"But when the children grow up, they have to start their own families, marry, and then come grandchildren. There's no peace in your life. What's the point of living your whole life?"
Zhang Hongying looked up at the dark sky and said, "Life is just like this! No one can decide for themselves whether to come to this world or not. Once you're here, you can only do this, moving forward step by step. If one day you can't walk anymore, can't stand still, then you will die, and be free."
After saying that, he added, "It looks like the weather is going to change." In the past, the stars would have come out by this time of the day, but today it was dark and there was no movement at all.
The topic changed.
Gao Xiulan took over and said, "It's so hot today, the dog days of summer won't be over yet. Even if it rains, it'll be good. I hope it stops and doesn't affect the harvest."
No one can predict what will happen in God's will.
It was very hot and stuffy, and mosquitoes were still buzzing wildly through the mosquito net.
Lu Dongping hugged her like an octopus. Wen Wan was hot and her feet kicked at his legs: "Oh, stop hugging me, stay away from me, it's hot!"
"It's hotter when you're farther away, and cooler when you're calm. Wanwan...are you feeling hot because of something you're thinking about right now?"
While saying this, his hand still touched the palm-leaf fan at the head of the bed. He hugged the person with one hand and fanned him with the other.
"Is it still hot?"
This breeze makes people feel so comfortable at this moment that they don’t even feel hot.
"It's much cooler!" She moved in Lu Dongping's arms and found a comfortable position.
Lu Dongping continued to fan her: "I have to go to work tomorrow morning, and Chun'e must go too. We don't need to go too early for school registration. You and Donglin go to school together."
Wen Wan responded: "Well, I'll cook the meal and then go over after eating."
Lu Dongping lowered his head and kissed her on the forehead: "Can you do it?"
"Don't you know how to cook porridge? Cook it first and let it cool down. It'll be perfect for you to eat when you get home from work. As for pancakes, I've never made them by myself, so I want to give it a try." She had made them twice, but the dough was kneaded in advance, so she only had to watch the pot and the fire.
"Then you should knead the dough first. I tell you, add water slowly. Don't make it too soft all at once. What if the dough is too soft and can't be used to make pancakes? Then, just like I did yesterday, add more water and make it into a batter. You can also make pancakes with it."
Wen Wan covered her mouth and yawned, then nudged herself in his arms: "Okay, got it, let's go to sleep, I'm so sleepy!"
After she finished speaking, her breathing soon became regular. She fell asleep a little too quickly. Lu Dongping originally wanted to do something else, but seeing how sleepy she was, he couldn't bear to do anything.
As the gong sounded in the wheat field, every household started to work. Just as the sky was getting a little bright, there was movement outside.
Lu Dongping gently pulled his arm out from under Wen Wan, pulled the quilt over her, got out of bed, fixed the mosquito net, put on his clothes and went outside.
Lu Donglin also got up. He and Lu Chun'e had the same idea. They would work half a day and register during the morning break so that they would not be late for work in the afternoon.
Lu Dongping originally planned to let him help Wen Wan cook and then go to school together, but he had to give up because he had to go to work.
After all, work points are also very important. He and Wen Wan have work point subsidies, but Lu Chun'e and Lu Donglin do not. They have to go to school during the week and don't have much time to work. When the work is evenly distributed at the end of the year, they are a little annoyed.
The yard soon became quiet. Wen Wan turned over and dozed off for a while. When it got light outside, she couldn't sleep anymore. She stood up and stretched, feeling much more energetic than yesterday.
After getting up and washing up, she cut some vegetables and mixed them to feed the chickens. Then she looked at the two pigs that were looking at her eagerly, turned back to the eaves, grabbed some pig grass and threw it into the pigpen.
After washing my hands, I looked at the time and it was only six o'clock.
She went to the kitchen, took a wooden basin and went to the main room to scoop noodles.
There are only a few people in the family, and Zhang Hongying is not the kind of person who is stingy and likes to pick things up. The food is all in the main room, and the fine grains are placed in a box in her room, and the door is not locked.
Wen Wan went in and scooped some white flour, then came out and mixed it with cornmeal.
As Lu Dongping told her, she had to be extremely careful when kneading the dough.
Although it was not very neat and stuck everywhere, she was generally satisfied with it.
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