13. Jealousy
After checking in their luggage and passing through security and customs, it was still early. The duty-free shops in Terminal 3 were brightly lit, resembling an alluring miniature city. Yi Yi had accepted several friends' shopping requests, resulting in a long list. The family was heading towards the cosmetics section, and she was mentally planning how to efficiently "shop till they drop."
Just then, a clear female voice, tinged with uncertainty, came from behind: "Alan?"
Zhuang Jia's English name is Alan, but apart from a very few old classmates and former colleagues from foreign companies, almost no one calls him that. Zhuang Jia paused and turned around.
Yi Yi also looked over.
"Lisa?" Zhuang Jia was taken aback for a moment, then a smile of surprise and familiarity, which Yi Yi hadn't seen in a long time, bloomed on her face. "You're still so beautiful after all these years! I almost didn't recognize you!"
“You’re contradicting yourself,” the woman named Lisa said with a smile as she approached, her voice clear and bright. “‘Still so beautiful’ means she hasn’t changed, ‘I almost didn’t recognize her’ means she has. So, has she changed or not?”
"My bad, my bad," Zhuang Jia laughed, his tone familiar to Yi Yi but one he hadn't shown her in a long time, his playful banter was genuine. "You're even more beautiful now, so beautiful that I hardly recognize you."
Watching from the side, Yi Yi felt a slight tension in her heart. She tugged at Zhuang Jia's arm, put on a polite, "Mrs. Zhuang" smile, and asked softly, "And this is...?"
"Oh right!" Zhuang Jia seemed to just realize, and naturally put his arm around Yi Yi's shoulder, the gesture carrying a subtle hint of declaration, "My college classmate, Lisa. You've met her before, once when we played tennis."
Yi Yi searched her memory. She rarely attended her university classmates' gatherings. She felt that these reunions always involved reminiscing about youthful days, whether shy, naive, or regrettable, and having family members present would make her feel uncomfortable. So, even though their gatherings were supposedly for families, she seldom participated. She had seen him a few times before she was his wife; back then, they always played tennis together. Yi Yi didn't actually enjoy it; she wasn't good at any sports, and she'd only recently developed a talent for running.
She vaguely remembered receiving disdainful and angry looks after awkwardly swinging a few balls on the court. Later, she gradually attended fewer of their gatherings, and then, as everyone became busier with work, the gatherings became even less frequent.
The image of the refined and elegant woman before me slowly overlapped with that of the vibrant, somewhat sharp-eyed girl in my memory.
Lisa smiled and said, "Yi Yi is so good at talking, her words are as sweet as honey."
Kai Kai was jumping around nearby. He had wanted to go to the children's playground not far away for a long time, but the adults were walking too slowly and seemed to want to stand there and talk.
"Is this your son? He's so handsome."
When Kai Kai heard someone praising him, he said, "Thank you, Auntie. My name is Kai Kai."
"Wow, you're so polite. Alan, you're so lucky."
"Oh dear, you can be quite a headache when you're being naughty," Zhuang Jia said. "By the way, I heard you've been promoted."
“What promotion? It’s just about making a living. I have a small position at the World Bank, and I’m always flying around.” Lisa’s tone was humble, but the confidence of someone on a “world-class platform” was naturally revealed. “And you? You should be a VP by now, right?”
Zhuang Jia's smile faded slightly, a little embarrassed: "Don't even mention it, I'm still a long way from VP."
“It must be because you haven’t changed jobs enough. Do you want me to introduce you to a few headhunters?” Lisa’s tone was full of advice, like someone who had been through it all. She then turned to Yi Yi and asked with concern, “Where is Yi Yi working now? She must be at the editor-in-chief level, right?”
This question was like a fine needle, gently pricking Yi Yi. Her smile remained unchanged, even tinged with a hint of humor: "Hehe, on par with the editor-in-chief." She paused, then added, "I'm a 'housewife' now."
Lisa immediately made a perfectly timed expression of regret: "Oh, being a housewife is so great! I'm so envious... It's a pity I don't have that kind of luck."
The words are loaded with meaning. Envy? Regret? Is it genuine envy, or a subtle way of highlighting different life trajectories?
Kai Kai twisted around a bit and whispered, "Mommy, I want to go play..."
Lisa said, "Are you guys going to check out Sunrise? I'll just sit in the lounge for a bit." She pointed to the first-class lounge not far away.
Kai Kai hurriedly said, "Auntie, bye-bye," and then grabbed Yi Yi's hand and ran towards the amusement park.
Zhuang Jia was originally a shopaholic, and knew more about cosmetics than Yi Yi. However, he lost interest in shopping and instead spent time with Yi Yi at the amusement park with Kai Kai.
"What's wrong?" Yi Yi asked, looking at her son splashing around in the ball pit, her tone devoid of emotion. "You're still so radiant when you see your first love, are you regretting it?"
Zhuang Jia's expression changed slightly: "What first love? That's nonsense."
“Oh, right, your first love was that coal mine owner’s daughter. You didn’t want someone so rich, but went after a talented woman,” Yi Yi said calmly, as if stating a fact, but every word was icy. “And that talented woman didn’t like you. So you settled for me? Now that you see she’s successful and still single, do you think you were wrong with your judgment back then? Or, I’ll give you your freedom?”
Zhuang Jia now deeply regretted his "frank confession" during their courtship. He thought it was trust, but now it had become a dagger she could pull out at any time to hurt him.
"What nonsense are you talking about!" he said in a low voice, annoyed. "What does it matter to me whether someone looks up to me or not? We're already strangers."
"You mean you still have feelings for her, but she doesn't reciprocate, so you haven't made a move?" Yi Yi's logic twisted, heading in the direction he least wanted to face.
Zhuang Jia felt a wave of helplessness. "Yi Yi, you know me, I'm a person of strong likes and dislikes. What's past is past, I never drag things out." He tried to defend himself, his tone pleading, "Please don't be like this."
"What did I do?" Yi Yi turned to look at him, her eyes calm, but it made Zhuang Jia feel uneasy. "Isn't it normal to catch up with a beautiful and capable old classmate? I didn't say anything."
It is precisely this attitude of "saying nothing, yet saying everything" that is most agonizing.
Kai Kai ran over, covered in sweat: "Mom, I'm hot!"
Yi Yi instantly switched gears, her expression and tone becoming incredibly gentle: "Oh dear, you're all sweaty. Quickly take off your coat, it's stuffy in here." She skillfully helped her son take off his clothes, wiped his sweat, and handed him a water bottle. That focused care was completely different from her previous coldness and sharpness.
Zhuang Jia watched, his heart churning like a spilled spice bottle. He stammered, "You're much more patient with your son than with me."
Kai Kai was gulping down water from his bottle when he heard this. He looked up and asked innocently, "Daddy, do you want Mommy to help you take off your clothes too?"
Children's innocent words, like a small lightning bolt, instantly cleaved the somewhat tense atmosphere. Yi Yi and Zhuang Jia exchanged a glance and couldn't help but laugh. There was a hint of helplessness and embarrassment in their smiles, but also a shared tenderness when faced with a child's innocence.
"You're even jealous of your son." Yi Yi rolled her eyes at Zhuang Jia, her tone softening considerably.
"I don't have vinegar!" Kai Kai declared loudly. "Vinegar is sour! I don't eat it!"
Looking at their son's earnest little face, Yi Yi and Zhuang Jia's smiles deepened—a genuine smile that came from the bottom of their hearts. The subtle tension between the three of them was quietly dissolved in that moment by the child's innocence.
Neither of them noticed that behind the floor-to-ceiling windows of the first-class lounge not far away, Lisa was quietly watching this scene with a cup of coffee in her hand. She watched Zhuang Jia awkwardly wipe the sweat from his son's brow, watched the gentle curve of Yi Yi's neck as he lowered his head, and watched the little boy lively weaving between his parents.
Her suitcase, always light and tidy from frequent flights, was always covered in stamps, and her social media was filled with pictures of the Southern Lights, Cancun beaches, and the Alps. She enjoyed absolute freedom and expansive views. But just now, seeing Zhuang Jia's instinctive gesture of putting his arm around Yi Yi's shoulder, seeing the child's uninhibited intimacy, a tiny corner of her heart slightly crumbled.
It was a faint sense of melancholy, unrelated to gain or loss. It was as if I saw a path I had never chosen and could never tread again, stretching out as an ordinary, down-to-earth landscape beneath someone else's feet.
She gently shook her head, picked up her coffee, took a sip, and turned her gaze to the giant steel birds taking off and landing on the tarmac.
Inside and outside the window, it's all a journey.
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