Chapter 21
Wang Jiazhi joined the poetry club. She'd always loved classical poetry, but lately, she's been writing and feeling a sense of regret for not having read enough. The members of the club are all talented and well-rounded, and chatting with them has been incredibly rewarding.
These times, everyone discussed the works of Bai Juyi.
A boy said, "Compared to Li Bai and Du Fu, I prefer Bai Juyi. Li Bai's poetry is unrestrained and free-flowing, while Du Fu's poetry is full of profound and profound feelings about his country and his family. They are both excellent. But Bai Juyi's poetry doesn't need flowery words. With just plain and easy-to-understand words, he can express such profound and moving joys and sorrows."
Another said, "You're right. It's like the grass on the plain, withering and growing again each year. Wildfires can't burn it all, but it grows again in the spring breeze. Even a child can understand it, but reading it makes one think deeply and feel deeply."
There is a saying: "I like it best that you are buried in the earth and your bones are reduced to dust, while I live in the human world and my head is covered with snow."
A girl said, "There's also the line in 'Song of Everlasting Regret': 'Love will eventually end, but this hatred will never end.'"
Another girl suddenly said, "Yes, I like The Song of Everlasting Sorrow the most. I like the story of Yang Guifei and Emperor Xuanzong of Tang."
A boy said, "It's nothing more than a story about an old man and his daughter-in-law having an affair. If enough writers wrote about it, it would become a legendary story."
Another girl was unconvinced and said, "They really do have feelings for each other. If they didn't, how could any writer be willing to write about it?"
Wang Jiazhi said, "I think so too. Maybe there was some love, but it wasn't that important. Emperor Xuanzong of Tang might have liked Yang Guifei, but Yang Guifei might not have liked him."
The girl said, "What do you say?"
Wang Jiazhi said, "Xuanzong was a very heartless man. He had love in his life, but that was all. He loved Wu Huifei, and because he loved her, he loved her mother and held her son, and was very good to Prince Shou. But after Wu Huifei died, he no longer cared about Prince Shou. In order to find spiritual sustenance again, he took Wu Huifei's daughter-in-law for himself. If he had any conscience, he would not let the woman he once loved suffer such humiliation and hurt her only son.
After Yang Guifei's death, his primary concern was quelling the rebellion and maintaining his position as emperor. He yearned for capable ministers like Zhang Jiuling and Li Linfu, not Yang Guifei. Later, upon learning he could only become the retired emperor, he focused on how to return to Chang'an and secure his life under his son's control. Only when he was imprisoned, realizing he had lost everything, did he finally think of Yang Guifei.
If he could continue to be emperor, even if Yang Guifei died, he would have continued to find another replacement, just as he had found Yang Guifei as a replacement for Wu Huifei. His love from beginning to end was because he loved himself the most. He had also been very fond of his first wife, Queen Wang. Queen Wang and he had been together through thick and thin, and she risked her life with him, his father, and his brother to fight for the throne. But he still deposed Queen Wang because of his favoritism for Wu Huifei.
The girl said disappointedly: "Is it like this?"
Wang Jiazhi loves history and likes to talk about it with others.
Wang Jiazhi added, "Not only that, he's also heartless towards others. Li Linfu did so much for him, so he could just ignore state affairs and enjoy a life of luxury. When he died, he raided Li Linfu's house. He even allowed Yang Guozhong to split open Li Linfu's coffin and take out the beads he was holding in his mouth. Only now that he's in trouble does he remember them."
A boy said, "Not only that, even though Zhang Jiuling was a noble and upright person, he also humiliated Zhang Jiuling for his lowly background. When he was in trouble, he only remembered Zhang Jiuling's kindness. He also tortured his son so much that Emperor Suzong was terrified and his hair turned white at such a young age. He even forced Emperor Suzong to divorce the Crown Princess who had been with him for more than ten years and asked his daughter-in-law to become a nun."
Wang Jiazhi said, "After much difficulty, the emperor finally brought him back, but he died within a few days."
One boy sighed and said, "No wonder my son hates him."
The girl, feeling hopeless about life, said to Wang Jiazhi, "I don't want to listen to you anymore. From now on, just talk about poetry and nothing else."
Wang Jiazhi said, "What did I say that made you hate me?"
The girl shook her head and said, "You're not saying that I hate you. It's just that every time I finish listening to you, the stories I used to like change completely. I only like the story of 'Song of Everlasting Sorrow'. And I thought the story of Emperor Shunzhi and Consort Dong E was very sad, but after you told it last time, I can't like it anymore."
One boy said, "History doesn't have so much romance. Most of the love stories of kings, princes, generals and ministers are fabricated."
Wang Jiazhi said, "Actually, I think Emperor Wen of Sui and Empress Dugu were the best. Although Emperor Wen was also a womanizer, he only had one true wife in his entire life, which was rare among kings, princes, and generals. They supported each other throughout their lives, and after one died, the other passed away soon after. It wasn't a deliberate suicide for love, but simply because they had no emotional support and no one to replace them, they died together. Before his death, he said, 'If my soul knows, I will meet you in the underworld.'"
The girl suddenly became interested and said, "How touching! This is such a good sentence."
Wang Jiazhi said, "I think it's good too. You know..."
Seeing the girls were infatuated with each other again, a few boys interrupted and said, "Today we are talking about Bai Juyi. You have gone off topic again. Let's talk about mandarin ducks and butterflies later."
As they were talking and laughing, someone said, "Kuang Yumin, why are you here just now?"
Everyone looked back and saw Kuang Yumin walk in from the back and said with a smile, "Sorry, I'm late."
Only Wang Jiazhi remained unmoved, sitting quietly without saying a word.
Kuang Yumin was an English major with a limited understanding of classical literature. He simply politely agreed with everyone else's discussions.
Wang Jiazhi was no longer as outspoken as before and almost stopped talking.
Only a few people knew that she had joined the Kuang Yumin Drama Club, and very few people here knew about it.
Someone laughed and said, "Wang Jiazhi, why are you silent?"
She smiled and said, "It's good to hear you say that. I haven't thought of what to say yet."
She knew Kuang Yumin was looking at her, but she just ignored him.
At this time, someone said, "I still like Li He's poems the most, especially 'Withered Orchid Farewell to a Guest on the Road to Xianyang,' and 'If Heaven Had Feelings, It Would Grow Old.' Reading this brings me so much emotion."
Another person said: "My favorite poem is Li Shangyin's "Untitled." 'I may not have the wings of a phoenix, but our hearts are connected. The silkworm will not stop spinning silk until it dies, and the candle will not stop shedding tears until it turns to ashes.'"
The girl next to her touched her hand and said, "What about you?"
She smiled and said, "My favorite is Li He's 'Brother Tang'."
"Hmm, I haven't heard of it."
"There's a really good line in there. 'A pair of eyes as sharp as autumn water.'"
“It sounds really nice.”
"yes."
After everyone dispersed, she hurried to leave. When Kuang Yumin called her, she pretended not to hear him. He still rushed to the front and said, "Wang Jiazhi, I have something to tell you."
"What are you talking about?"
Kuang Yumin, on the other hand, didn't know how to start. Obviously, he still wanted to win her back, and it wouldn't be done in just a few words.
Kuang Yumin asked, "Why didn't you contact us after the last incident? Did we do anything to make you sad?"
Wang Jiazhi looked around and saw that all the classmates had left, and they were the only ones in the corridor.
She said, "What do you think? You are sacrificing my innocence. You are the hero, but I am the one being sacrificed."
Kuang Yumin was stunned and speechless for a moment.
He didn't expect that Wang Jiazhi, who had always been weak and vulnerable, would say this.
"How can you say that?"
"Isn't what I said the truth? You want to be a hero, but why should you sacrifice my innocence? If you have sisters, would you be willing to let them do that? Since you are so patriotic, why don't you go to the battlefield to kill the enemy, but sacrifice others to achieve your own success and do such a shameless thing."
Kuang Yumin was speechless and his face turned red.
"My brother died in battle, and my parents wouldn't let me!"
Wang Jiazhi said, "Your parents didn't want you to join the army. They wanted you to sacrifice others so that you could be a hero. You have parents, and they couldn't bear to lose you. I don't have parents, so I'm not a human being. My life or death doesn't matter. I tell you, my life is my own. Even if I die in any way, it's my own will. Who are you to decide my life or death?"
Kuang Yumin wanted to say something, but he was so shocked that he could only gasp for breath. His eyes were red, and he was obviously very angry.
Wang Jiazhi said, "If you want to be a hero, be a true hero. Don't be a coward, afraid to step forward when the enemy is right in front of you."
Wang Jiazhi turned and left without even looking at him.
At this moment, Kuang Yumin seemed to finally realize something. He rushed forward angrily, grabbed her arm, and said angrily, "In other words, you have been lying to us. You don't understand at all. You are unwilling to complete the operation and want all our efforts to be in vain. You are so despicable!"
Wang Jiazhi quickly looked around to see if there was anyone around. Seeing that there was no one, she said, "Why are you trying so hard? So what if I just don't want to!" Then she ran away.
The walk back to the dormitory was short, but it felt like a lifetime. She followed the mottled shadows of trees and flowers along the path, and things she had always resisted came back to her mind.
When they had already discussed how Liang Runsheng would ruin her, she no longer admired Kuang Yumin. She was not only heartbroken, but also disappointed.
What he wanted was a general's success at the cost of thousands of lives, but he did not have the brains and courage of a good general.
At that time, she thought that she had lost her admiration, but still had some feelings for him. In the end, even that little bit of feelings was gone. Now, all that was left was contempt and hatred.
Sometimes she wondered when that feeling completely disappeared. Later she realized that it was probably that time that she understood the difference between love and not love.
Thinking of this, she laughed at herself. She was so stupid, so stupid that it was scary.
Why couldn't she realize such a simple truth?
I have to admit that Kuang Yumin has the ability to brainwash people.
In the past, I heard that cults abroad were very scary and could manipulate people without fear of life or death. I thought it was outrageous at the time, but now I think it is understandable.
After returning home, Wang Jiazhi took the bouquet of peonies outside the tent, thought about it, moved it back, and then moved it out again.
Xiao Shuang smiled and said, "What are you doing? Do you want her to accompany you or not?"
Then he took the vase and said, "You don't need me to put it there for a few days."
She quickly snatched it away and said, "Who said I didn't want it? I just wanted to see where it would look good. I'd better put it inside."
Then I put it at the head of the bed, lowered the mosquito net and went to sleep.
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