Chapter 234
When she was tortured by this feeling of despair and humiliation for most of the day, the baby in her belly moved a few times, and she finally remembered.
She touched her belly and calmed down a little.
She cleaned up and went downstairs. She didn't have the energy to cook, so she went downstairs to eat a bowl of yellow croaker noodles, which warmed her body a little.
Wang Jiazhi walked slowly on the street, changing the environment to dispel the despair she had felt in the past.
The family across from the shop had a large hibiscus tree at their doorstep. The flowers were the most vibrant crimson, with curled golden stamens jutting out from the center. There were more than a dozen blooms on the tree, a truly beautiful sight.
"Look, that's a hibiscus flower," she said to the baby in her belly.
This reminded her of Meng Shunying. Was she and Lao Yi together? If so, how did they start?
This reminded Wang Jiazhi of the "game period".
Although it happened in the past life, my heart still beats fast and my fingers go numb when I think about it now.
The first time, she thought... she didn't know why she did that. She thought he was just like in some novels, a perverted man who tortured women. But he never got that rough again.
She had originally planned many plans and imagined many ways in her mind, but in the end they were all rudely overturned by him.
His purely brutal release of sexual desire did not give her any room to maneuver.
But she was very happy when she was raped because...she finally felt something, a very strong feeling.
She did not feel ashamed here, and the things that had tortured her mentally for a long time finally disappeared at that time.
The shameful practice had reduced her body and spirit to ruins.
She was raped by a rotten whore, and it was all in vain. The plan had to be stopped ridiculously, and she became a laughing stock and a bitch in the eyes of others.
However, if all this wasn't enough, she was being abused in vain, yet she didn't feel a thing at all.
It was as if she hadn't even eaten mutton, but instead had gotten the smell of mutton all over her. She was already unclean, but that was all she was. She'd done it, but besides feeling incredibly disgusted and filthy, she hadn't felt anything.
Liang Runsheng didn't... It was then that she realized she might be being schemed against by someone with ulterior motives. Even those inexperienced people were probably better than this rotten whore. But since it was already like that, there was no choice but to continue.
In order to feel, she...
She refused to look at the face of the person below. She closed her eyes and imagined that it was someone else on the bed. She suppressed the shame and pain, wanting to feel something.
With her eyes closed, she thought of Kuang Yumin, but couldn't place him. Perhaps it was because she hated him at the time, or perhaps it was because of something else, but it was impossible. Later, she tried to imagine it was Lao Yi, and she actually felt something.
She didn't know why; she just had a slight fondness for him, but it made her feel better. Later, she thought, maybe she'd known he was fickle and possessed a powerful aura, so of course he could do it. If it were him, he wouldn't be like that. And she'd made such sacrifices just to be with him. But in the end, it wasn't him; she just had some feelings.
This incident tortured her and made her feel ashamed.
Finally, it was him who was truly inside her. His ravaging and brutality finally made her feel something, a million times more intense than she had imagined. She felt her body ignite. All the shame she had felt in the past was reduced to ashes in the ignited flames.
The despair and pain of him and her were endless, permeating the air constantly. Time was like a razor blade, slicing them into a thousand pieces, piece by piece, flesh by flesh. Their bodies and minds had long been numb, and to combat this numbness, they needed intense stimulation.
Two people who shared the same pain, when their feelings were not deep, normal intercourse was powerless to break the numbness of pain. Only near-torture could awaken the soul. She said that only by making her bleed and scream in pain could he know she was alive. And for her, it was the same way, only then would she know she was alive. They tortured each other, finding pleasure in the pain of torture, allowing them to sink into obsession with each other.
Especially the practice that brought her immense shame. She recalled trying to close her eyes, painfully avoiding the promiscuous man in bed, relying on her imagination to elicit a slight feeling of shame and the occasional forced moan. That humiliating experience tormented her mind and body. When he actually entered her, the sensation was a thousand times more intense than she had imagined, and she needed him even more than she had in her imagination.
But after that, he never looked for her again, not even returning home or showing up. That day when she went out to watch an opera, she saw him again, and she thought he had come to see her on purpose.
In the first place, he didn't want to go home when Mrs. Yi was at home. If he knew she was next door, would he go over to take a look?
I thought I would find her soon, but there was still no news. I finally came back that day, but he went out on a business trip before dawn the next morning.
He was simply tormenting people to death.
Then another four days passed. If she hadn't said she was leaving, I don't know when she would show up.
She had done nothing wrong, and it was he who had brutally abused her, and then, for no apparent reason, had gotten mad at her. She didn't know what was wrong with him. Was this the privilege of a superior? His moods were so unpredictable, for no apparent reason. What did he think of her?
She had prepared many things to say about his ruthlessness and willfulness these past few days. She couldn't just let it go like that. If she let him look down on her and lose his morale right from the start, she wouldn't know how to treat her in the future.
But as soon as she started to act, his unexpected sincerity made her lose her composure and she had no idea how to act next.
She had planned for days beforehand, thinking of the lines she was going to say on stage, but now all of them were useless. Before she knew it, she was already in bed with him again.
She thought he had forced her into a fight the first time, but the second crushing defeat completely overturned all her cognition and plans.
The little practical experience she had gained from that shameful exercise, and the theories she had learned from reading a lot of novels and movies, were not enough to handle his foreplay. She felt completely empty and lost her mind.
But when the real action began, she discovered, to her horror, that she was completely defenseless. She simply let him do whatever he wanted, tossing her around, without the slightest ability to fight back. After it was over, he quickly regained his composure, but she was still immersed in the intense impact. She felt like she had been electrocuted, her whole body trembling and twitching with electricity.
She didn't know how long it took for her soul to return, but when she came to her senses, he was kissing and caressing her limp body.
Seeing that she had regained her senses, he placed his lips on hers and knocked her unconscious again.
When she woke up again, she was lying naked in her bed, covered tightly with a blanket. She had no recollection of how they had separated, or how he had left. She could smell his scent lingering in the room.
This time, she knew she was going to fail miserably. She felt that she was too disappointing. No matter what, she shouldn't have been so carried away by love that she completely lost her mind.
Of course, she has always been so self-deprecating and always felt that she was not good enough.
On the other hand, Lao Yi thought that this little girl was quite amazing. Even after he had made her like that, she was still able to try to muster up her remaining rationality and ask him for the apartment to prepare for an ambush and assassination.
Even though the second time brought her a huge setback and shock, and all her plans were shattered, her rebellious and unyielding nature would never let her give up easily.
Although she found that her so-called experience and skills were so ridiculous and insignificant in front of him, the greater the setback, the more it stimulated her desire to win.
Soon, before she could recover from the aftershock of the second shock, the third one came.
She believed that the first two times were the result of her unfamiliarity with him and her underestimation of her opponent. As long as she didn't give up, she would definitely defeat him.
From the third time on, she believed that was the official beginning of the "game period".
During that period, she was defeated miserably every time, but she became more courageous with each defeat, and then she was defeated miserably again, and then she became more courageous and defeated again. In short, she never won once.
During that time, she would socialize with the ladies, play cards, go shopping, and dine, but she couldn't remember a thing. It was as if the whole world was just the two of them, like two white snakes trapped in a bottle of vanishing cream, scaleless, soft and slippery, entwined and twisting, tightening and tightening, the more it twisted, the more painful it became, as if they were suffocating and dying. Intoxicated, suffocating, their mind drifting and unclear.
He would take her out every one or two days, or every two or three days. Every time, they would be so drunk and passionate that before they could get over the emotion, they would do it again, and then again, and so on, over and over again.
During that period, the two of them were in the secular world, but it seemed as if they were in a desolate world at the beginning of chaos. It was just the two of them, and the sky was dark, the wind was strong and the lightning was fierce, and it was almost sparking.
But every time she never gave up, she wanted to beat him. However, after the previous setback, she planned her next offensive, but the next time he would use a different method, and the previous plan would not count. And then the next time was completely different.
What frustrated her most was that every time she failed, it wasn't because of her physical strength being controlled by him. He never used force to knock her out, but mentally. She felt that she was controlled by him every time, just like the mind control methods of a cult.
Once, after they'd finished, they'd each gone their separate ways, and she'd gone home to play mahjong with the other wives. In the afternoon, he'd returned and stood behind her, talking to Mrs. Yi. She recalled what had happened a few hours earlier, her head bowed in silence. Unexpectedly, he'd touched her back while no one was looking. She felt like she'd been electrocuted, her body trembling.
She knew he must be grinning behind her.
Thinking of this, Wang Jiazhi pressed her stomach with both hands.
Those scenes are before my eyes again.
Once, she tried hard to control herself from being completely confused by him. He did not fight back against her tentative attack, but let her mess around on him.
She had to admit that it was really wasted at that time, and the little experience and skills she thought she had gained were nothing.
Just when she thought she had a chance of winning this time, he suddenly stood up and buried his head in her arms. He just kissed and bit her, without any aggression at all. Just when she was getting more immersed in it and letting down her guard.
"Your heart is beating so fast," he whispered.
Her face instantly became hot and her ears turned red.
"It seems to be jumping faster."
Just those two sentences, and she was completely overwhelmed again. His deep voice at that time was really deadly.
Just at this critical moment, he hugged her and fell down, asking her to nestle in his arms, rubbing her head, and asking her to listen to his heartbeat.
That time she was screwed again.
And, unfortunately, I've become addicted to listening to his heartbeat. Especially on that rainy day, nestled in his warm embrace, listening to his heartbeat and his breath spreading across his chest...
Afterwards, she still nestled in his arms, smelling his scent and listening to his heartbeat.
It was very helpful for sleeping, and I developed this habit at that time.
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