Chapter 246
Wang Jiazhi was leaning against the headboard reading a newly compiled story book, with two more placed next to her pillow.
She remembered reading this story when she was a child, but she didn't know where the book was at home.
It tells the story of a girl who was a princess of the previous dynasty. She only discovered this when she was eighteen and her entire family had almost all died overnight. Because the dynasty had long since changed, her family, as remnants of the previous royal family, had been living in hiding and in poverty. Only her grandparents knew this secret. Her father, the eldest son, also knew, but he had passed away.
Her grandfather was not the eldest son, but if her grandfather was the emperor, then her father was the eldest son, so she could be considered a princess. Otherwise, she could be considered a county lady.
But all this was meaningless, because the country had long since perished. But the current imperial court had never given up on searching for the remnants of the previous dynasty. After Grandpa was captured, Grandma, knowing the secret had been exposed, said with great courage, "As a family, we'd rather die than be humiliated." Death was inevitable, so a humiliating death was preferable to a dignified one.
Although their family was large and poor, they were incredibly happy. After learning the truth, the family members accepted death with equanimity, maintaining the dignity of the royal family and not bringing shame to their ancestors.
The girl and her sister took their baby brother in swaddling clothes at their uncle's house to visit relatives. When they returned home, they found that they were the only three people left at home.
She hid her cousin, and she and her sister were arrested.
My younger sister was a celestial being, unconcerned with worldly affairs, possessing a profound understanding of righteousness at a young age. She fell in love with the prince, a figure like Baoyu, and was moved by him and the current emperor. She explained that the change of dynasties was a natural process, and that the previous dynasty had nothing to do with her. The current emperor and his son had no intention of harming their family, and that it was my grandmother who misunderstood, a twist of fate.
She was left with no way to refute the words. But she couldn't face those people calmly. They had destroyed her country because her family was almost wiped out.
Everyone says that the younger sister is gentle and sensible, but she, as the older sister, is two years older in vain. She is confused, impulsive, and like a shrew.
They persuaded her to hand over her brother, saying that with peace now reigning, there was no fear of their family's restoration. The current emperor, with his great favor, was willing to grant her brother a title of nobility, allowing him to enjoy a lifetime of wealth and glory.
A girl heartlessly advised her that she was the granddaughter of a great traitor, and that the current emperor had shown great favor and raised her in the palace, treating her like his own daughter. She never hated him for killing her entire family, and that there was nothing wrong with a life of wealth and glory.
She said woodenly, "I would rather my brother die than be like you, who has no sense of shame and accepts a thief as his father."
She knew she would not have a good ending, so she smashed the teacup and tried to commit suicide with the shards. The Fourth Prince suddenly came in to stop her. She was so determined to die that her strength was incredible. The shards didn't scratch her, but they cut his hand and left it bleeding. She panicked, feeling she had made a terrible mistake.
She hated everyone there, and now she even wanted to kill her sister. But she was different towards him.
The fourth prince is a man of indifferent disposition. He usually only studies and practices Taoism. The emperor likes him because he is obedient and sensible.
But such a blank slate was able to let her go without anyone noticing.
Before leaving, she leaned out of the carriage window and said, "I can't thank you enough for your kindness. I'm really grateful."
"Then how do you thank me?"
She was so stunned that she didn't know how to speak, so she said, "You."
"Anyway, I helped you, so you should thank me."
"Then how do you say thank you?"
"I want something from you, I wonder if you're willing to give it to me."
She blushed.
"A gentleman should show kindness without expecting anything in return."
"I'm not a gentleman."
“…”
This person is usually a gentleman with a clear mind and a bright face.
"So...what do you want?"
He hesitated and said, "What I want is very valuable. I wonder if you are willing to give it to me?"
"What...do you want?"
"Your name, I don't know how to call you yet."
Her ears turned red.
Of course this is a very tragic story.
After the girl left, she was found by her aunt, who asked her to join her in restoring her country. To repay her aunt for raising her for so many years, she was willing to accompany her in this impossible dream.
She also knew that her aunt was no fool; she knew that restoring the country was impossible. But her life was so bleak. As a teenager, she saw her country destroyed and her family ruined. She watched her parents commit suicide for their country. Then she lived a life of wandering and exile.
How else can she survive except to numb herself with self-deception?
Later they met again, and both knew that they were like moths to a flame. She avoided him, and he tried hard not to think about her, but still... they were together.
His mother was a well-known virtuous concubine. Because she was the most virtuous person in the harem, she raised the prince after the queen died in childbirth. She treated the prince as her own son, even more devotedly than her own son.
She said that the prince was the heir apparent of a country and was raised for the whole country, so it was okay for her son to suffer some grievances.
Later, the barbarians invaded and, in an effort to negotiate peace, offered the prince as a hostage. His mother, already a noble concubine, acted as an empress. The emperor had over twenty sons, and his mother begged him to take them hostage. She pleaded with him, saying that none of them were her own children, and she couldn't bear to send any of them. She preferred to send her own son, feeling more at ease.
He was sent as a hostage at the age of six. The bitter cold outside the Great Wall caused him to suffer from a chronic illness before he was ten years old. His bones would ache severely when the weather was slightly cold.
After five years of near-death struggles, he finally returned alive. The emperor, mindful of his merits, deliberately elevated him above the other kings when he conferred him the title of king. The imperial concubine argued that he was merely fulfilling his duties as a subject and son, and shouldn't take credit for himself. She also deliberately instructed the emperor to choose a palace and fiefdom for him that was far worse than that of his brothers.
He said gratefully, "My mother dotes on me so much that I am extremely terrified."
Only that time, when he was a teenager, did he muster up the courage and whisper, "It's cold and my legs hurt."
His mother said that this was the honor of serving the country and should not be mentioned anymore, as it would make the prince worried.
When he grew up, the emperor intended to promote him and entrust him with important tasks. However, his mother said that her son had no talent or virtue, and his only good quality was that he kept to himself and could not accomplish anything great, so she asked the emperor to revoke the order.
Even the old ministers with deep scheming said that he was the most quiet, indifferent, kind-hearted and amiable person.
He asked her, "Why do you like me?"
She said, "I like your ambition to look down on the world."
This time it was his turn to look at her in surprise.
She said, "What's wrong with wanting to be an emperor?"
But one day, the younger sister discovered their secret and told the emperor and the prince about it. She wanted to protect them, but she also believed that they were kind and would not hurt her sister.
He repeatedly denied that he had an affair with the remnants of the previous dynasty, and the emperor asked him to kill the girl to show his loyalty.
The girl died, and the person who came gave him a piece of blood-stained porcelain and a lock of her hair to report back.
The porcelain fragment was the same one from that year. She kept it as a souvenir, never realizing that one day it would have to fulfill its duty.
The next day he continued to be his indifferent prince as if nothing had happened, and the matter was forgotten.
Ten years later, he succeeded in a coup and imprisoned his father, brother and mother.
He treated them very well on the surface, but in fact he tortured them and made them suffer terribly.
Her mother scolded him as worse than a beast and said that she would rather die than live.
He said calmly, "Then why don't you die?"
His mother looked at him in disbelief.
He said calmly again: "You are dying."
His mother was so ashamed that she hit her head against a pillar and died, her blood splattering on the spot.
The historian intended to cover it up.
However, he asked the historian to write the truth: the emperor recalled the situation when the queen died and offended the queen dowager, who then committed suicide in anger.
He looked at his mother's miserable corpse, smiled happily, and thought to himself, "I finally did something for you that would be condemned by the world."
Of course, the original novel is in chapter form, and it is not as frivolous as she wrote. At that time, Xiao Shuang was influenced by others and became obsessed with Emperor Xuanzong of Tang and Yang Guifei, and was obsessed with the drama of sacrificing beauty for the country.
She really didn't like the story and felt she had to convince Xiaoshuang. Suddenly, she remembered the story. It was so long ago that she couldn't recall the details, but suddenly her inspiration struck and she started writing. Xiaoshuang was upset for several days after reading it.
Xiaoshuang was truly her loyal reader, and she shed many tears over the fantastic and tragic stories she wrote.
"This is too cruel." Xiao Shuang said angrily.
"Um?"
"Why doesn't the emperor want to kill her, but her husband wants to kill him?"
"Why?"
“It is better to die at the hands of the one you hate the most than at the hands of the one you love the most.”
"Hmm! I don't think so."
"Why?"
"Since we're all going to die, wouldn't it be more outrageous if you were killed by those who treated you badly and whom you hated? You were bullied and tortured by them when you were alive, and in the end you were killed by them. How infuriating and cowardly. It would be better to kill someone who treated you well, whom you loved very much, so that their kindness to you would not be in vain."
"Huh?" Xiao Shuang was shocked, but for a moment she couldn't refute him. It seemed like she had been brainwashed, and what she said made sense.
But he felt something was wrong and asked, "What if you were asked to die at the hands of the person you love most, would you be able to accept it?"
Wang Jiazhi was stunned. To be honest, she never thought this kind of story had anything to do with her. When Xiaoshuang asked her this, she answered without hesitation, "Of course."
Seeing Xiaoshuang's stunned and speechless expression, she also realized that her thinking might have become abnormal after staying in an abnormal environment for too long.
For example, the way she and Lao Yi played, in many novels and movies, the woman was always tortured and wanted to kill the man, but she was... In fact, later on, she was more like that. And there are also plots like being cruelly killed, which should make people indignant, never love again, or feel disheartened, but she didn't care at all, she only cared whether he saw her the same way as others.
Xiao Shuang said sadly, "You wrote it too simply. Why didn't you write about the circumstances of her death?"
Wang Jiazhi said, "That would be too hypocritical."
Xiao Shuang said: "I feel that she is too pitiful."
Wang Jiazhi said, "But she didn't live her life without anything. Her grandfather, father, and uncle were all weak, kindhearted people who only knew how to compromise and accept everything. She was the one who supported a family at such a young age, but in the end, it was destroyed. She and her aunt went to restore the country, eating ice and drinking snow, and suffered such great hardships. She was so smart and capable throughout her life, and so strong-willed, but she was not destined to be strong.
She herself said that the men she had met since childhood were all worthless and incompetent, and she thought it would be impossible for her to meet the capable man she loved. If she hadn't met her husband, she might not have died, but she would have lived a miserable life until her hair turned white. But she met her husband, and she realized that she would find someone she loved and liked in the same way, and that he loved her in return. The two of them lived happily together for two years and had a child. Although she was beautiful but had a tragic fate, she was happy, so it was not a loss.
If you were in my shoes and had only two choices, would you rather live a long and miserable life for a hundred years, or just live a good life in the clouds for two years, and then die in your twenties at the hands of the person you love most, but he will love you forever and never forget you?
Xiao Shuang thought for a moment and said, "I guess you'd choose the second option. As for me... it's really scary to think about it this way. Can't there be a perfect option?"
Wang Jiazhi said she never felt that this story had anything to do with her.
Although the heroine is in a difficult situation, she has her own pride and rationality. She will never compromise, and will never do stupid things when she dislikes others.
She was able to have the unique vision to fall in love with the most capable and most deserving person, dedicate herself to her beloved, be his virtuous wife, and give birth to children for him. Although they had to part ways in the end, her husband loved her all his life, and her children survived and inherited the throne.
Wang Jiazhi felt that this was what she wanted to be but couldn't become.
Xiao Shuang said at that time: "But I don't understand why it is called 'Zui Xin'. Wouldn't 'Yu Lin Ling' be more appropriate?"
She liked the name of the tune "Yu Lin Ling" very much, but when she thought of the story of Yang Guifei and Emperor Minghuang of Tang, she didn't like to use it anymore.
She said, "Just imagine, the men you meet are all losers who are inferior to you, but what you want is someone who is very smart and capable. Originally, you thought you were too proud and arrogant, and would never meet such a person in your life. You had already planned to suffer in pain, torture and loneliness for the rest of your life. But when you are at your best, you really meet that person, and that person is just like you, who loves you and understands you so much. Isn't this the most intoxicating thing?"
Xiao Shuang: "Uh...it seems to be the case."
In Wang Jiazhi's writing world, she likes to go to two extremes: either an overly cruel reality or an overly unrealistic romantic beauty.
But in her heart, she and Lao Yi were both irreparable ruins, completely unrelated to this unrealistic romantic story. If she died, he would probably not remember her, and might even look down on her, and then quickly return to his pursuit of women and his promiscuous affairs.
The thought of this fills me with indignation.
"I wonder which woman your father is hugging now!" She said angrily, holding her belly.
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