Chapter 261
The confidant came in to report the matter and put two boxes on the table while speaking.
Lao Yi opened them and found a jade bracelet in one box and a pair of Hetian white jade bracelets in the other.
"This?" he asked in surprise.
The confidant laughed and said, "He said it was to honor his two wives."
"oh?……"
He realized that the white jade bracelet was given to Wang Jiazhi.
Most people had never met Wang Jiazhi, but they knew he had a small mansion, so he couldn't neglect the proper etiquette when managing it. Especially since it was rumored that this second wife was extremely favored, he dared not neglect her, fearing that offending her would be more troublesome than failing to show proper etiquette to the principal wife.
It has happened before. Someone asked someone else to do something for them and only gave gifts to the main wife. The favored wife felt that they were not taken seriously, so she started to whisper in others' minds and made a mess of things.
Wang Jiazhi had a white jade twisted bracelet. Initially, only a few wives at the poker table knew about it, but once they spread the word, many others knew about it. Word got around that Minister Yi's concubine particularly liked Hetian jade and always wore a twisted white jade bracelet. So, people catered to her tastes and gave her this bracelet.
Lao Yi liked the man's understanding and took good care of him later.
He asked someone to send the jade bracelets to Mrs. Yi's home. At night, he went back to his dark room to sleep, put the bracelets under his pillow, and held one bracelet in his hand, feeling lost. It was no longer the object, nor the person.
The jasmine in the room was in full bloom, its fragrance making him dizzy. He opened the window to ventilate. As soon as the tea was brewed, he plucked a bud or two and dropped them into the cup. Ever since he was young, he'd enjoyed growing jasmine in his study, sometimes picking a few buds and tossing them into his tea. While it didn't have the rich fragrance of dried jasmine, it still had a subtle aroma.
The past seemed so distant to him, like a lifetime ago. Even the few years before he came here seemed so distant. He felt like a ghost now. He remembered everything from the past, but it felt like a lifetime ago, untouchable.
The kitten jumped onto the bed and saw that he was holding the bracelet in his hand and trying to put his head in.
He laughed and said, "Stuck your head and see what you can do."
He was lying against the quilt. The kitten had played with the bracelet enough and suddenly jumped on him, putting its furry head on top of his.
It's true that cats look like whoever they are. She always likes playing with him like this.
He was a skittish bird, his nerves were very sensitive even at home. The first time she pounced on him and bumped heads like this, he should have been startled. But strangely, he wasn't scared at all, and instead felt a sense of familiarity and comfort.
Wang Jiazhi heard a song on the radio when she was a child, and now she only remembers one line of the lyrics: If the next life is a repetition of this life, is it more painful to be affectionate than to be heartless?
Before they met, they had different understandings of the suffering of sentient beings.
The night before his death, his roommate cried heartbrokenly under the covers. He was not afraid of death, but was afraid of what his wife would do after he died.
My roommate and his wife were in a romantic relationship and their relationship was very good, and it's still going strong now, but it's not the same as it was back then. Back then, they were newly married and rarely together, so their feelings were even stronger and harder to control.
It had been a very dangerous experience, with a high chance of death. He had been extremely nervous the night before, but this had made him feel much more relaxed.
Fortunately, he didn't have to worry about dying with a lingering worry. He did care about his parents, but that worry wasn't enough to make him die with regrets. His wife wasn't emotionally distant, either. He'd realized from a young age that he was emotionally cold.
At that time, his definition of love was: trouble.
Seeing his peers around him struggling with love and suffering, he felt it was extremely troublesome and that their ideal future was being delayed.
Many people liked him, but none of them had a heart-pounding crush on him. In fact, if he were willing to seriously date someone and develop feelings over time, he might have a wife who shared his heart. But he didn't have the time. From his youth to his old age, his life had been so busy. He didn't have the time or patience to cultivate feelings just for the sake of love, nor did he need them.
After Wang Jiazhi's death, every time he passed by the interrogation room where she had been, he deliberately quickened his pace and didn't even dare to look at her.
One day, as he was going out from there and was about to reach the door, he saw a little girl standing there, being scolded by someone.
He saw that the girl was wearing a tattered dark blue shirt. She had delicate features, but she was so thin that only bones were left. Her skin was sallow, her hair was dull, her hands were chapped from the cold, and her lips were cracked and bleeding.
His whole body was trembling slightly with fear, but he tried to remain calm and talk to people. As he spoke, he licked his bleeding and chapped lips.
The girl's face was clearly hers. He stopped and stared at it in a daze. It took him a while to realize that it was not her.
Everyone was amazed, wondering what had happened to him. The girl was already terrified when she got here, and when she saw him looking at her, she trembled with fear, but she still managed not to cry.
He regained his composure and simply asked, "What's wrong?"
The man whispered in his ear that her brother had been showing off in front of his classmates and making irresponsible remarks, so the rioters took the opportunity to capture him and extort him. Her family had no money, and her parents forced her, a girl, to come to this den every few days.
He ordered the girl's brother released immediately. The girl's brother hadn't suffered any physical pain. He looked like a spoiled wretch. His clothes were filthy, but the fabric was fine. He couldn't stand steady and couldn't speak. The girl supported her brother, bowing to him repeatedly in overwhelming gratitude, saying, "Thank you, thank you..."
He left silently, and out of the corner of his eye he saw that her hands were covered with blue marks left by receiving relief rice.
At that time, he thought to himself, "You are right to punish me, but to punish me with a poor and innocent person, God, you are too heartless."
Secretary Zhang had talked about this with someone, and the news eventually reached him.
"She only wanted to die and had no desire to live."
Those who came back also said that she was very calm, unlike the others who cried and wailed in fear.
He thought, she was only twenty-three years old. If life was so miserable, would death be such a relief?
He remembered what she had written in her notebook: "I don't want another life." She was completely disappointed with this world, without any expectations or nostalgia.
He thought back to when they first got together, and she was happy then.
She pestered him like a greedy cat, always trying to beat him. He believed that she was truly happy at that time, and was not at all hopeless.
Because at that time she didn't have any deep feelings for him and didn't feel any burden.
It would be better if it had never happened. In the end, maybe he died, maybe she died, or maybe they both died, but it wouldn't be such painful torture.
Old Wu was right, he was the culprit.
He was the one who fell in love first, and he couldn't explain why. Perhaps she was his type, the kind of girl straight out of the Book of Songs. Despite her heavy makeup, she was still beautiful, a naturally ethereal beauty. Or perhaps it was her silly audacity and rebelliousness. Or perhaps it was nothing at all, no reason at all, he just liked her.
He also thought about killing her, but he liked her, and keeping her didn't threaten him. It wouldn't be a big deal to have her as a pet for entertainment. Yes, that's what he thought at first. She was just a little thing for entertainment.
However, everything that happened afterwards was beyond their expectations, and they were developing in an uncontrollable direction without realizing it.
He hadn't considered the consequences at the time. He didn't know when he'd started hiding his feelings from everyone. Being with her made him feel relaxed, and he'd almost completely unleash his emotions and feelings in her presence. At first, they'd enjoyed themselves without any pressure or burden, simply wanting to be together all the time. Neither of them considered the reason, but it was precisely that reason that proved fatal.
By the time they all realized something was wrong, it was already too late.
He could sense her changes. She was no longer as rebellious and competitive as before. Her eyes were becoming increasingly blurry, and she seemed to see something was wrong with him. She was also becoming more gentle and considerate. She was like his slave, willing to do whatever he wanted, as long as he was happy and satisfied.
She was not as unbridled and happy as she was at the beginning. She was also happy, but then she began to feel dazed and sad.
The more time went on, the more they felt something was wrong. It was completely different from the initial lingering affection. Every time, the two of them melted into each other and merged into a pool of spring water.
He felt very scared. He had played with so many women and thought that this was the best. But this time, he started to be afraid of the pleasure of spring water that he had never experienced before.
The most terrifying thing is that they found that it was not for sleeping at all. They could do nothing, say nothing, and just stay together quietly and feel safe and satisfied.
It had come to that point where none of them could control it, and there was no possibility of turning back.
Her pain grew increasingly horrific and profound, and she would use those moments as an excuse to sob hysterically. In the end, she seemed to have completely given up the struggle, no longer crying, no longer showing any pain or despair. She simply remained joyfully with him, desperately trying to satisfy him. In those last moments of brilliance, she wanted him to remember her as the best and most beautiful version of herself.
When he realized that she had feelings for him, he was happy at first, but later, seeing her in so much pain, for the first time in his life, he felt so helpless.
Even if he had taken the wrong path, the most tragic and helpless thing was this. However, this kind of painful setback had always been in his ideal career, and he had never been afraid of anything emotionally.
Faced with her pain and despair, he was helpless and at a loss. He couldn't speak to comfort her. Living in the same hell, he couldn't even make her a promise. He could only helplessly hold her in his arms. That was all.
She told him that if he liked this little toy, she could give it to him.
He had originally thought of giving her a small place of her own, hoping she would get better slowly. He thought he would die before her...
Ever since he was young, he had meticulously analyzed and summarized every major undertaking, regardless of success or failure. Even after her death, he had done so countless times. Each time, the result was the same.
In this fight, from the beginning to the end, he was a beneficiary and a despicable person.
She remembered holding him in her arms, gently caressing his hair and cheeks, enduring his violent rage. Her eyes were always so gentle and affectionate. She had given him immense comfort and happiness, yet left all the pain and despair to herself. And all that was the result of his unbridled passion.
If only it had never started, if he had killed her from the beginning, she wouldn't have died in such despair. She would still believe she died for justice, a glorious death, her past sacrifices worthwhile, not a ridiculous pawn. She wouldn't have driven herself to despair and shame by falling in love with a traitor and a traitor to her country.
Even if he didn't kill her at the beginning, if they just used each other as tools to satisfy their lust and just stayed at the level of carnal desire, in the end either she would kill him or he would kill her, and even if they lost their bodies, at least they wouldn't lose their feelings, and she wouldn't be so painful.
In the afterglow of her infatuation, she told him things she dared not say. One time, she said, "Everyone wears a mask, a mask of hypocrisy, a mask of nobility, and so many more. If I took off the mask, you wouldn't like me anymore."
Later he pressed her photo under the glass panel of his desk.
"I like you better without the mask," he thought to himself.
For the first time in his life, he reflected on his barren love life. He wasn't this way when he was younger, but as he grew older and faced increasing responsibilities and pressures, his youthful emotional indifference left him without any emotional sustenance. He resorted to unrestrained behavior to alleviate the pain and pressure. He would pique his interest in any attractive woman, but that interest would quickly fade, and he would move on to a new one.
He had followed *** since he was young, and no matter how things got worse, *** and *** always stayed together and supported each other. He was curious about what kind of relationship it was that could make one willingly stay with only one person for a lifetime.
If he had met her when he was younger, he probably wouldn't be the person he is now. He wouldn't have frivolously obeyed his parents' orders, wouldn't have had no expectations for his family and children. The two of them had supported each other through thick and thin for most of their lives, and even today, whether he still jumped into the abyss like that, they would be there for each other until the end. At least emotionally, they were both content and satisfied.
After all, they were not destined to be together. They just met for a brief moment at the last moment of each other's life.
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