Chapter 386
Mrs. Xiao said that they had a new cook at home and invited her to dinner.
Wang Jiazhi now had to socialize. She didn't really know how to do it, and she was sure she'd mess it up. But for his sake, they all dared not speak out, and no one got angry. He said he didn't want to go, but she felt she couldn't refuse. Although the people in her circle weren't as high-ranking as him, she couldn't afford to offend anyone. Who knew who would be needed in the future?
"Bring Mrs. Yi back."
She told him again that there had to be someone who benefited from it to help him socialize properly. If he continued like this, she would not only embarrass him but also offend everyone. But this guy just wouldn't listen!
Mrs. Xiao had always been very friendly to her. She had asked her to come to her house, and she couldn't refuse. Fortunately, Mrs. Xiao should also understand the sense of boundaries. She wouldn't ask her out endlessly after she went this time.
Mrs. Xiao's house resembled a strawberry shortcake, with a touch of the castle-like feel of an amusement park. White walls, red tiles, and a curved roof. The windows had thin black frames, and the balcony's thin, jet-black iron railings were shaped like lotus pedestals. Both the windows and railings looked as if they had been drawn with a fine black pen. The interior was entirely Jiangnan style, without any eccentricity or ambiguity.
Maybe because there are more people in the family, the house is bigger than Mrs. Yi's.
After tea was served, Mrs. Xiao asked several concubines in the family to come out and greet them. The youngest one looked older than her. She laughed and said, "How can I be worthy of that?"
This made her feel uneasy. Then she thought about it again, Mrs. Xiao's husband actually had several concubines at home.
Mrs. Xiao's daughter brought a large Dalmatian over to show her. Wang Jiazhi remembered the many dogs of that kind she had seen at Jin Qiaochu's house. This large Dalmatian was docile and lively, not at all shy.
Soon, the Liao sisters arrived, and Mrs. Xiao's daughter dragged them along to see the large dog's litter. Dalmatians are known for their fertility; this one had 11 puppies. Wang Jiazhi watched the sesame dumplings, each with its own filling, running around the house, and she was so adorable. She thought her daughter would be delighted if she came.
Mrs. Xiao's daughter asked, "Do you want to raise one? We are sending one out now."
She smiled and shook her head, saying, "We already have a big white bear at home. There's no room for another one."
Mrs. Xiao's daughter said, "Yes, the house is too small, and we can't keep too many big dogs."
Wang Jiazhi felt a little guilty. Dabai was kept in Mrs. Yi's house. Now she wanted people to listen, as if she had forced the queen away and occupied her pet.
But it was so lonely there. When Wang Jiazhi moved in, she noticed that it was tied up in the yard every day and no one played with it. It was so lonely.
Mrs. Yi admires Western things. The British and American family model favors large lawns, two or three small children, and two large dogs. To live there safely, there's no such big house. Mr. Yi said that with only two people living there, there's no need for a large house. Even so, the house is still full of empty rooms. There's no garden, let alone a lawn. There aren't any children, let alone two or three. The only thing left is a dog. The backyard is too small for two, so just one. Especially since Mrs. Yi sees so many people in her circle have dogs, she wants one even more. But Dabai is a bit lonely. She's afraid of making a mess of the house, so she can't go inside. He's tied up in the yard all day, with no one to play with.
Although Old Wu had a premonition, he was still shocked when he secretly visited the apartment where Wang Jiazhi was sent. He felt that Wang Jiazhi was really risking his life this time.
Old Wu hadn't expected him to think so highly of Wang Jiazhi. He had originally thought a small courtyard or villa would be enough for her to live in, and he would visit her every three or five days. Unexpectedly, the apartment was even more luxurious than the main house, more than twice as large in area.
He knew she loved flowers and trees, so of course she wanted a large garden with flowers, and large trees in front and behind the house. She seemed to love the family's large dog, and with a large yard, she could have a pet if she wanted. And when they sometimes quietly nestled in her little room, she felt like two squirrels nestling in a warm tree hole for the winter, feeling completely at ease. He felt it was unfair for her to live in such a small house; it had to be a little more spacious. He thought of the calluses on her hands and the frostbite on her feet, how much she had suffered in the past, and how she had been mocked by the other ladies at home. He thought she deserved a home of her own, a place where she could live a good life. He thought for a long time before deciding on a house.
Old Wu was indignant at his extravagant extravagance, thinking that even a proper concubine with children would only have two rooms and a small courtyard. It looked like he was going to have to live a normal life. He recalled the first time he met Wang Jiazhi, her pale face, thin body, and shabby appearance in rags. He thought to himself, "A poor bitch, how could she deserve this!" Such a poor, dirty girl, and yet he was the only one who treated her like a treasure.
Wang Jiazhi picked up a puppy, so soft and furry that it seemed to slip away from her hands. The other girls were playing with the puppy when their mother came over and said, "Mrs. Yuan is here. She said everyone is here, and she's telling the young ladies to go to dinner."
There was a dish of Eight Treasures Tofu at the table, which Wang Jiazhi found delicious and asked how it was made. She wanted to make it lighter and would go back to make it for him.
Whenever Mrs. Liao's daughter saw her, she would talk to her about her novels.
A while ago, she published a novel about an ordinary family: the husband works as a clerk in a factory, and the wife is a housewife. The wife is addicted to mahjong, often disappearing for ten days to play mahjong at a friend's house. The poor husband, after a long day of work, comes home to an empty kitchen, left to do the housework and take care of the children. He constantly goes to every friend's house looking for her, but in reality, he's worse off than not coming back.
The woman was addicted to mahjong, unable to go a single day without playing. When she returned, she brought her friends with her. Seven or eight men and women crammed into a small house, consisting of a single room and a small living room, barely enough for a single table. They played from day to night, and from night to day again. The house was filled with the clamor of voices, mingling with the sounds of mahjong. Until everyone was exhausted, a few women slept horizontally on the beds in the room, while a few men half-sat on the couches in the outer room. At dawn, they went out to buy breakfast for about ten people, and then returned to eat and drink before continuing their game.
Wang Jiazhi felt suffocated just thinking about it. What kind of child could be raised in such a family? It was simply a life worse than death.
Mrs. Liao's daughter said, "I don't like it very much. She hasn't written many romance novels recently."
Wang Jiazhi smiled and said, "This is more interesting. Perhaps she feels that interesting things among ordinary people are more interesting than love affairs."
"I don't like it anyway. What's so good about writing about those daily necessities?"
Wang Jiazhi knew that Mrs. Liao's daughter just liked the romance novels she wrote. In fact, most of her romance novels were not about love at all, but rather cold-blooded and realistic. Mrs. Liao's daughter had always lived in her own closed world. She just liked her writing style, and then she deceived herself into thinking that the bleak stories of the world were love. There was no way. Mrs. Liao's daughter had never been in love in her life. According to the letters she wrote to herself, she had one or two secret crushes, but they were just momentary feelings, not deep. Otherwise, with her temper, she would have pursued them even if she knew there would be no result. A girl who never knew what love was and then fell into a painful marriage is unfortunate. But such people are not uncommon.
Mrs. Xiao smiled and said, "I find it interesting. You little girls just like those empty things. Everyone is the same. There is no such thing as so much romance."
Wang Jiazhi thought of the concubines she had just met, and Mrs. Xiao's words must have come from the heart.
It's impossible to say Wang Jiazhi didn't care. He'd broken up with all his lovers since she arrived. She'd never experienced the feeling of sharing a man with someone else, and it was a good thing she hadn't, or she'd be tormented to death. But it was only after she realized what he'd done to her, and to all the other women around him, that she was furious.
But she knew she had no reason to be angry. That was all in the past. He had never wronged her, and he hadn't looked for anyone else since they were together. Besides, she had no right to be angry, she wasn't a clean slate, and her situation was much worse than his. But facing these former loves of his, she couldn't help but feel sad.
Mrs. Xiao's chef is indeed quite good. He is from the same hometown as Mrs. Xiao and is good at cooking Zhejiang cuisine. He also worked in Tianjin for a few years and is also good at cooking northern dishes.
When Wang Jiazhi mentioned that Mrs. Xiao was also from Zhejiang, she recalled that she and Lao Yi were from the same hometown. People from the same hometown naturally had more things to talk about. Mrs. Xiao was also very beautiful and charming, with a very likable personality. Mrs. Ma had the advantage of being younger than her, but she was far behind in other aspects. Perhaps she had also been very favored in her time.
Oh my god!
Then came a dish of candied soft-shelled turtle. She had never eaten it before she'd been with him. In her eyes, it was like a snake, possessing spirituality. But she couldn't show it too much. She had a psychological barrier to eating soft-shelled turtle and bird's nest in public. Honestly, soft-shelled turtle was actually quite delicious.
Mrs. Liao's daughter, as usual, finished chatting with her about her novel and then started complaining again. Mrs. Xiao, however, was not as smooth-talking as Mrs. Liang and sincerely comforted her, "It's hard for you too."
Mrs. Liao's daughter burst into tears. After finally getting sympathy, she started talking even more.
"He took his bitch to the opera, and knowing I was there too, he wouldn't have hidden himself, but he brought her to my box so everyone else could see him. My mom and mother-in-law even said I was the one who got mad at him all the time, and that's what got him so mad. How could such a beast exist..."
In the past, when Mrs. Liao's daughter was so hysterical, her sister still winked at her not to let her spread the family shame too much. Now she stopped trying to persuade her and sighed softly like everyone else, knowing that she couldn't stop her and there was no need to. After all, the family affairs had become well-known far and wide, and the shame was already at home. There was no hope or need to remedy it.
"Aunt Xiao, tell me, they don't want me to live, Aunt Xiao, tell me..."
When Mrs. Liao's daughter talked to her about novels, she thought she was a naive young girl, but when she talked about the mess at home, she immediately turned into a desperate and fierce woman, a completely different person. Wang Jiazhi never expected that the words she said would come from the mouth of a girl in her early twenties.
It would be bad to have too many people say anything, and it would be bad to continue eating, as the food on the table would get cold by the time we waited.
Mrs. Xiao said: "Your mother is that kind of person, you shouldn't be too bothered by her."
Upon hearing this, Mrs. Liao's daughter suddenly fell on the table and burst into tears. She cried for a long time without saying a word. Her sister was also touched and her eyes were red.
Wang Jiazhi knew they all hated their mother for being so cold-blooded towards them. It was fine if outsiders bullied them, but it was chilling to see their own mother help them. Wang Jiazhi recalled Huang Lei's words at the time: "No wonder your own father doesn't want you!"
If your parents, who are your closest relatives, want to hurt you, others will certainly feel more justified in mistreating you.
Wang Jiazhi saw her mother go upstairs and talk to someone on the stairs. She seemed to be discussing whether there was any white pepper left.
"Yes, there's a jar left."
Wang Jiazhi saw the concubine she had just met take the key and go to the back. After a while, she found a glass jar of white pepper and gave it to her mother, then went upstairs again.
This concubine is about the same age as Mrs. Xiao, and she must have married an old woman when she was young. Even if the wife invites guests, she can't sit at the table, and she has to take care of the housework.
Wang Jiazhi wondered if Old Yi would let her live with Mrs. Yi, would she do the same? Then she thought, no, he would never allow others to treat him like that.
After a while, a dish of pepper shrimp was served.
Mrs. Xiao persuaded Mrs. Liao's daughters to eat it, and said to them, "This pepper is edible. You can try it."
Wang Jiazhi saw the white peppercorns on the plate, which looked like small fish eyes and tasted like hard five-spice beans, but with a slightly stronger flavor.
Mrs. Liao's daughter cried so much that her makeup was smudged, so her sister accompanied her upstairs to wash her face and touch up her makeup.
As soon as the two sisters left, Ms. Qiao sighed, "I can't blame her for this. Mrs. Liao is really something. It's bad enough that her in-laws bully her, but as her own mother, she doesn't feel sorry for her. She even joins her in-laws in blaming her for being ignorant. The child is so young, how can she bear this?"
Mrs. Xiao said, "Who said it wasn't true? Now everyone says she's crazy, and all her relatives and friends are avoiding her."
Just as Mrs. Xiao's daughter was about to speak, the phone rang. Her mother came over and asked Mrs. Xiao to answer the phone, saying that it was Mrs. Liao calling.
I heard Mrs. Xiao say, "Mother and daughter are of the same mind. I invited them just like I invited you. Are you coming or not? I'm only halfway through the meal."
"How can you say that about your own child? Seriously."
While talking on the phone, Mrs. Xiao would look upstairs to see if the two Liao sisters had come down.
"Okay, come over later."
When Mrs. Xiao came back, her daughter whispered, "If I had to guess, she might be blaming you for inviting her over."
Mrs. Xiao said, "That's right. She said that if she came out, it would be embarrassing and she would go crazy. Why did she come? She said she would come over in a while."
Wang Jiazhi asked in surprise, "What does this mean?"
Ms. Qiao whispered, "You don't go out much, so you don't know. Mrs. Liao is telling everyone not to invite her eldest daughter over for entertainment, fearing she might go crazy and offend people." Then she glanced upstairs and lowered her voice even more, "And her younger sister shouldn't have any contact with her either, lest her in-laws be dissatisfied and say the older sister is crazy and the younger sister is crazy too. How can you say that about your own children?"
Wang Jiazhi was shocked when she heard this.
She recalled an incident in history books: a ruthless emperor who murdered ministers on trumped-up charges, causing widespread panic. People were terrified and could be murdered or their entire families wiped out for no apparent reason. A young minister was wrongfully imprisoned and released after several days. He thought he had escaped death and happily returned home. But when he arrived at the door, his father, uncle, and younger brother were already waiting. His father and brother grabbed him, and his uncle chopped off his head with a machete.
But there was no way around it. Who knew if the emperor was testing their family to see if they were loyal? They were all frightened and ruined. They couldn't let the whole clan be wiped out because of one person.
But Mrs. Liao's "sacrifice of relatives for the sake of justice" is not the case at all.
Ms. Qiao asked, "When did she say she would come?"
Mrs. Xiao said, "I said we are halfway through our meal. Would you mind coming along? There are still several dishes to be served. I thought she would be embarrassed to come so soon, so she said she would come in two hours."
Miss Qiao smiled and said, "She's here just to play cards. If you like, you can play with us. If you don't want to socialize, she can say she has something to do at home and leave first."
Wang Jiazhi smiled slightly. They were becoming more and more considerate to her now.
At this time, the two sisters of the Liao family came down, and no one spoke.
Mrs. Xiao knew it and couldn't hide it, so she smiled and said, "Your mother said she would come over later."
Mrs. Liao's eldest daughter heard this and shouted angrily, "What else does she want? She keeps telling people I'm crazy and to leave me alone. It's like I'm a ghost that wants to eat people."
The first time Wang Jiazhi knew what it meant to be completely vindictive was when she saw a young girl.
Everyone was busy trying to comfort him.
When the meal was almost over, Mrs. Xiao's second daughter came back with her boyfriend.
It was the first time that Wang Jiazhi met the second daughter of the Xiao family. The daughters of the Xiao family were prettier than those of the Liao family. The eldest daughter and the second daughter looked very similar. Her boyfriend was also handsome and fair-skinned.
Mrs. Xiao smiled and said, "You're back so early. I told you guys to come and have dinner together today. If you don't come, come back early and we can eat together."
The second daughter smiled and said, "I'll be leaving soon. My shoelace broke, so I came back to change."
Hearing her second daughter and Mrs. Xiao acting coquettishly, Wang Jiazhi thought of her own mother.
The second daughter and her boyfriend came in and greeted everyone. The two daughters of the Liao family were of the same generation as them, so they just greeted them and nodded respectfully to her and Ms. Qiao.
After all, she would be counted as their parents' generation. Although she felt a little awkward, it was the only way. If they were counted as the same generation, wouldn't that mean she and he were no longer equal?
"There's not much age difference between us," she said to herself.
Ms. Qiao said, "When are you going to get married? I'm looking forward to it for you."
Mrs. Xiao's second daughter said, "Women in the new era are not just about marriage. I want to study for another year and finish my studies."
The eldest daughter said, "They plan to get married after graduation next year and then go abroad directly."
Ms. Qiao wanted to ask where they were going, but considering the feelings of Mrs. Liao's daughter, she didn't ask any more questions.
Wang Jiazhi secretly watched the couple; they were truly a perfect match. She also heard that they wouldn't be getting married for another year, and she thought to herself, "Get married soon, or she'll be ruined and miserable for the rest of her life."
Wang Jiazhi immediately forgot about this sentence, but she didn't know how many times she had said it in her heart.
This was a symptom she'd already had. Ever since that disgusting experience, she'd developed this habit. Whenever she saw a loving couple, if they weren't married yet, she couldn't help but feel terrified, thinking, "Get married quickly! If not, have sex quickly!" Otherwise, she'd be ruined and her life would be miserable.
The two of them were very affectionate in the movie. If they hadn't done anything before, they would be afraid and say, "Get married quickly and go to bed, or she will be ruined by someone else."
It's still the same now. Whenever she sees a particularly loving couple, or two people in movies or novels who seem particularly good together, she becomes terrified. She thinks that girl is about to be ruined by a disgusting person and suffer for the rest of her life.
Think about the girl you cherish so much that you are reluctant to desecrate her before marriage, but she is ruined by a disgusting person. There is no story more terrifying than this.
At first, during college, she was very calm and advised Xiaoshuang not to act on her emotions like she did before marriage. But later, she became abnormal and became very afraid of Xiaoshuang...
This post-traumatic state is similar to that of a soldier on the battlefield. At the time, due to the tension, one is completely unaware of fear. However, even if one survives and is not disabled and can live a good life, the memory of the repeated torture that made one's life worse than death may still linger, leading to suicide.
Wang Jiazhi's situation is even more terrifying than this. What has happened cannot be undone.
In fact, after following this path, Lao Yi also developed the disease, but he never told her. He knew how torturous and painful it was. He had never sought medical attention himself, knowing it wouldn't be cured. But since she also had the disease, he still held out hope and consulted many top experts, but they all said it was incurable, and that even solace from the recurring attacks was a rare opportunity.
They were all in the same industry, so how could he not know how heartless her experiences were? Even if they weren't in the same circle, such things were not uncommon in society.
At that time, there was a girl who was an excellent student, always ranked first in the school, and was also very beautiful. Because of her beauty, she was abused by her teacher. Although she later became successful in her career, she was still tormented by the incident and committed suicide.
Another woman went through a similar experience, but not only did she achieve success in her career, she also married a wonderful husband. Her husband knew about her past, but far from gossiping, he comforted her with immense compassion and patience whenever she had an attack. Yet, she still committed suicide.
He felt that those who said these women became sick and committed suicide because they were traditional and feudal, or because they couldn't stand the scrutiny of others, were simply fools. They treated women as mindless puppets at the mercy of the outside world.
What affects them is not external factors, but the fact that they cannot get over the hurdle in their own hearts.
That kind of thing is more disgusting than being raped. The more outstanding and proud a person is, the more he cannot bear this kind of defilement of the soul.
It's like the girl in that novel who was raped by a disgusting man and even gave birth to a child in prison, yet she didn't feel dirty because it wasn't her fault. But then she married that disgusting man for the sake of the child, feeling ashamed and afraid to face anyone, and only then did she truly feel dirty. Even after the divorce, when she talked about it with her former lover, the most painful part wasn't the rape and childbirth, but why she married that rapist.
One time, Lao Yi smiled and asked, "Do you want to go to school?"
She said, "I'm not going. How can I have the energy to be with you guys if I go to school?"
He thought, while he was still here, he couldn't tell when she would have another attack, he didn't know when, but it wouldn't be long. What would happen to her when he was gone?
In his previous life, it was him who would sometimes say crazy things to her. Back then, she worried about him and indulged him. In this life, the two of them are reversed. He is always calm, while she sometimes says some slightly crazy things.
"Yang Guifei must have felt very dirty, so she always had to take a bath."
"Um?"
"But he was a very powerful emperor after all, so he wasn't that disgusting. When she was a girl, she followed the husband she loved. It's better than a pure girl being ruined by a hooligan."
Another time, while reading a novel, she said, "Although I fell into prostitution, fortunately I married the man I loved first. I was a clean girl and was with the man I loved. Later I started selling my body, so it wasn't too cheap for those people."
Another time, she attended the wedding of a colleague's daughter. Everyone said the couple was very talented and beautiful, and they were a good match. She returned and said to herself, "It's good this way, otherwise it would be ruined."
Every time she did this, he was terrified, fearing that she would have another attack.
He thought that she was still studying under such difficult circumstances, and perhaps finishing the book would give her more emotional support, and one day when he died, she could still live a good life. But it seemed that this trick was useless.
One time, the three of them were taking a nap together. When they woke up, they were happily playing with their children. She suddenly said calmly, "I'll go wherever you go. No one can stop me."
The meaning is clearly that if that day really comes and she wants to die, the children will not be able to stop her.
It was true that with her by his side, he rarely had any attacks. But knowing that she had this disease left a huge weight on his heart, and he would not be able to close his eyes even in his death.
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