Chapter 435
"When I read it as a child, I felt so sorry for her. It's still the same now, but my mindset is different. Her life was originally so bleak, just like her parents, displaced, without dignity, without hope, living simply for the sake of living. When she grew up, like her mother, she also married a heartless man, had several children, and the family lived a numb and indifferent life. She had hope in her life, and she worked hard for it her whole life. Although it seemed so foolish in the eyes of others, she felt very happy, and that was enough. People always think such women are stupid. People who scrimp and save money to eat, drink, gamble, and whore are just ridiculous, but understandable. But why is it that people call those who scrimp and save to nourish their love crazy and stupid? This kind of spiritual sacrifice is much more cost-effective than those high-level ones."
He laughed and said, "But if it was the wife of that opera singer, as you said, you wouldn't feel happy at all. And that classmate of yours, you always complain bitterly about her stupidity."
"It's just like what you said. When you see a dying rabbit, you want to save it, but when it comes to a disgusting reptile, you just want to kick it again. Or maybe the author wrote it too beautifully. I never imagined that an eleven-year-old girl, in love with someone, would madly want to kiss him. That kind of pure desire is really endearing."
Before Wang Jiazhi and Lao Yi got together, the most explicit scenes in her romance novels were the hero and heroine holding hands, with the heroine using chopsticks to feed her boyfriend. Although she also read kissing scenes in novels and movies, those scenes were enough to make her shy.
In this life, she had severed ties with that place promptly, so she hadn't lost her manuscripts. In her previous life, fearing she'd be implicated in the murders, she'd never dared return to school. It was only during the war that she ran into a former classmate and asked why she and Lai Xiujin hadn't returned, and why their belongings were still there. She went to look for them, but found only a few books and the notebook; everything else was gone. Years had passed, and without the war, there was no one to keep them for her.
Wang Jiazhi once flipped through her past writings. While everything else was fine, she felt that her story, in which the hero and heroine were in a relationship and only held hands, was simply insane. Fortunately, she hadn't submitted it for publication, or else people would have thought she was being pretentious.
Love, imagined on paper, certainly doesn't hold a candle to the thrill of actual experience. Their first encounter was a bit of a fluster. Wang Jiazhi, anticipating a kiss, was incredibly nervous. But she hadn't expected it to be like that. Unprepared, her lips were swollen from the kiss. She only remembered the thrill, nothing else. After being kept waiting for so many days, she still wanted it the second time, but he wouldn't let her.
Wang Jiazhi complained that he hadn't given her the initiative to kiss him the first few times, and that he had to be the one to do it. The second time, Wang Jiazhi was so overwhelmed with passion that she couldn't remember the beginning or the end. Afterward, she threw her arms around his neck, kissing and nuzzling him, and she couldn't remember anything. When she woke up, she only remembered, with shame, that she had actually started to act like a spoiled child.
In reality, she was so soft and boneless, like a pet cat, her two paws wrapped around his neck, kissing and rubbing him. She had kissed him countless times, her lips swollen from kissing him again. He was also deeply shocked. He simply couldn't resist, it was too much. This kind of kissing was completely different from the familiar, formulaic intimacy that women used.
From then on, it became a habit, as if now, she had already unbuttoned his quilt, put her paws in to keep warm, and rubbed her head against his chest.
The first time they were together, A-Ma was his, and she was the one who kept his secrets especially strict with Mrs. Yi. But that time, she was also filled with righteous indignation, and she felt like telling Mrs. Yi. Although Mrs. Yi knew about it, A-Ma thought it was outrageous and outrageous.
Lao Yi usually walks very lightly, but that time he was so anxious that you could hear the thudding footsteps through the door.
A-ma was furious and said, "How dare someone run away from home? In broad daylight, he rushed into her room in such a hurry and didn't come out for a long time."
Later, Lao Yi couldn't control himself and sneaked into her room day or night.
To quote the words from "Jin Ping Mei", my mother must have said indignantly: "They locked the door and slept in her room from morning till night and from night till morning. How shameless."
Wang Jiazhi recalled that one time when she was going home from school, there was a market not far from her home. When she passed by there, she saw her mother and father walking in front of her.
In autumn, it gets dark early. The shops and stalls are all lit up, and from a distance they look like warm yellow fireflies. Dad came home from work and happened to meet Mom buying groceries.
She followed them quietly and saw them talking and laughing. Her mother reached out to hold her father's arm, but her father was embarrassed and moved his arm but did not agree.
In fact, people older than them also hold hands and arms, but her father thinks that is too corny.
Wang Jiazhi, who could only fantasize about holding hands and feeding each other before falling in love, thought her father was too rigid. At that time, she imagined that when she got a boyfriend, she would definitely hold hands or even link arms.
At that time, when I looked at them, I felt that they were so happy and good.
She told him about this and said, "I believe he likes my mother, although it's not love. It's just that liking her is based on the fact that she is still valuable to him. If she is no longer valuable, then the liking is gone."
He thought that he had no way to take her out with a legitimate reason, and she must be very regretful.
The wind and rain outside were strong, the sky was dark, and the room was even darker. She nestled in his arms, listening to his heartbeat, and gradually fell asleep.
Such a warm and soft big cat in his arms is really warm and helps him sleep. He looked at the kitten in the crib, sleeping soundly with his toy in his arms.
They slept all afternoon, and when it got dark they drew aside a curtain. They had to be more alert and couldn't sleep like this any longer.
Wang Jiazhi showed him the half of the novel she had recently written, which was about the window man.
"My dad said he knew someone who envied him for being like him, getting married, having children, and living a life with plans and hopes. But he just couldn't do that. He spent all his money on pleasure and had no chance of settling down."
He laughed and said, "He wants to live a free life, but he also cares about worldly opinions and is afraid of being alone in old age. Life is full of gains and losses. How can one person possibly have all the advantages in the world? He's really too greedy."
When he saw the story about one of the female protagonists who couldn't get the love she wanted, so she put on the male protagonist's coat and burned herself with the remaining cigarettes he had smoked, he seemed to be lost in thought, as if he had seen the same plot somewhere before, but couldn't remember where.
Wang Jiazhi leaned her head against his shoulder, thinking about how he felt uncomfortable when he smelled cigarettes in his youth. What had he been through to become such a heavy smoker? Thinking about it made her feel uncomfortable.
She remembered the time in the apartment on Xiafei Road, when he sat at the head of the bed smoking, and she rested her head on her woolen trousers, stroked her hairy legs with her hands, and smelled the scent of tobacco, feeling light-headed.
After moving here, he never smoked in the bedroom, and later gradually he almost stopped smoking at home.
After all, living together and having an affair are different.
"You can write it in a more despicable way. There are no good people like this." He pointed out a passage.
In the past, I just enjoyed writing for him to read. This time, it’s the first time I’m writing from a man’s perspective, so I need to ask him more questions.
It is really difficult to understand the psychology of the opposite sex. If you are not careful, you will end up with something weird.
The kitten came over and rested its head on his legs. He stroked the kitten's head and back, and she held the kitten's hand.
Looking around the room now, she couldn't believe it was the same back then. It was completely different. She'd thought everything was the same as long as they were together, but it was different. Having a place to live, eating and sleeping together, having children, and living a normal life was so different.
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