Chapter 436
The weather has turned cold, and today marks the first snowfall. Tonight, Wang Jiazhi changed her quilt to a thicker one, a lake green satin cover embellished with silver butterflies and peony flowers. The kitten, having never seen such a thick quilt in her life, smiled happily.
After the lights went out, she snuggled into his arms, patting him gently with her paws. He looked normal, but she knew he had been going through a lot lately.
That person died. I went to Nanjing every few days a while ago, and these days have finally come to an end.
He had said before that it was just a matter of time, not too long. Although everyone was prepared, when it really came to the fore, the group still lost their composure.
He was already so thin that he was just bones, and even if he lost more weight it wouldn't be noticeable. But she, on the other hand, had been in a state of constant anxiety during his absence, and had lost a lot of weight over that time.
"I don't have anything."
He mentioned it several times to reassure her.
Instead, she felt like she was a huge burden. She couldn't help much, and yet she still made him worry about her.
"You don't have to run over there all the time. It's finally quiet now," he said to her.
"***Woolen cloth?"
"She's still the same, still angry, but she was always the same."
This surprised Wang Jiazhi; how could they be so calm when their love was so deep? But it seemed that genuine grief didn't necessarily need to be visible. After Mom passed away, Dad put on a show, appearing overwhelmed with grief whenever he spoke of it.
How could *** not be sad? That was the person she had torn up his passport, cut off all her escape routes, and wanted to die with him.
Outside, the north wind was blowing, blowing snowflakes all over the place. This kind of strong natural weather always made her feel trapped and unable to tell what day it was.
What will happen to him after his death?
Thinking of Meng Shunying's death and how sad her parents were, Wang Jiazhi felt sad too, but also a little envious.
The time I have is too short, and I can't leave him anything so that he can remember me.
When a person dies and disappears forever, no one will care and no one will look for her.
It is said that the fate is shallow, but the people who are unlikely to meet each other actually meet, and go through a life and death struggle; it is said that the fate is not shallow, but it ends abruptly like a flash in the pan, without even seeing each other for the last time, without a farewell.
We were destined to meet each other, and when we were young, it was just a few simple words, but the more time passed, the more suffocated I felt.
He didn't see her for the last time in his previous life, and he didn't go to see her when she left.
In fact, if someone asked him if he wanted to take a look, he would definitely go and take a look.
Everyone felt that this matter should just be over and done with, as if nothing had happened. He thought he should do the same.
When *** died, few people were around. I'd assumed they wouldn't be there to see him. But when the day finally came, I couldn't get over it. He'd promoted him, brought him to a high position, and then led him into the fire pit. He was gone just like that.
There are many things that we know are reasonable, but when the time comes, we just can’t get over it.
He has been confident since he was young that he is not that kind of person and that if he understands the truth, he can bear it.
Now, all the important people are gone, and he suddenly realizes that he hasn't seen any of them for the last time, nor has he said goodbye to any of them properly.
He didn't see either of his parents when they passed away. It had to do with work, there was nothing he could do about it. That's the truth.
She's gone, but no matter what, you have to go on. The same goes for when someone is gone, and seeing them only makes things harder.
*** is gone, and we can’t see him anymore. I knew it a long time ago. It’s the same logic.
It makes sense, but he really can't get over it today.
He should have seen her. He shouldn't have been so cowardly and lacked the courage to see her. She wasn't afraid at all. She died so peacefully, her face so serene, not at all hideous or scary. She just wanted him to see her.
This feeling was brought back in this life. Every time he went there, Wang Jiazhi would put large cookies she made in his luggage, with pictures of the three of them, the nuts she had peeled, and her daughter's purple rabbit toy on them.
He looked at the toy rabbit but still seemed uneasy, so he asked her to bring something else before leaving for the second time.
She thought about it and put the tourmaline bracelet that her mother left for her as a dowry on Rabbit's hand. This really made her feel much better and more at ease.
"It's better for him to die than to live. He is free." He sighed at this time.
"It's like what you said. He didn't mean to harm you. He wanted to continue to guide you and promote you. In fact, life is not nothing. Not all those you treat sincerely will let you down. Those who know me think I am worried, while those who don't know me think I am asking for nothing. Even after many years, a truly fair person will of course distinguish between merits and demerits."
He smiled and said, "You have always been reluctant to mention him, what happened today?"
"I hate him because if it weren't for him you wouldn't be like this."
"I'm fine. Today, I've let go of everything. Don't worry about me."
"I'm just worrying about nothing. It's useless."
After entering this circle, I really feel that the common people are like ants. They think about their eternal fame, but their own miserable experiences are just like grass in the eyes of this group of people.
Bastards like Old Wu and Kuang Yumin aren't even top officials, yet they treat me like dirt. No wonder he's so upset. A person with a conscience really can't be an official.
He had brilliant achievements and people who loved and cherished him. I, on the other hand, had accomplished nothing, no career, no dignity, no one who loved me, and even no clean body.
"It's useless at all. You are already very dazzling enough. People are saying what we have. If it's true, what do you like about me?" He said with a smile.
"Come on, how am I dazzling? Without you, I'm nothing. Back then, I wrote until dawn and had to go to school the next day, so I almost ran out of money for stamps.
I submitted so many manuscripts, but not a single one was accepted.”
"That's because the time has not come yet. When the time comes, everything will naturally get better."
"There's no chance anymore." She said sadly, her voice so soft that the last few words were almost inaudible.
"With your current achievements, it's enough to leave your name in history. Thousands of years later, there will still be people reading your works and talking about you."
She laughed and said, "Don't try to tease me. How can those few articles I wrote be immortalized in history?"
"There are so many successful works in the Tang Dynasty, and how can it not be so? Believe me, it will be. When you are seventy or eighty years old, you will find that your articles will still be as highly regarded as they are now."
"Then you have to live to be a hundred years old, otherwise I don't want to live to be seventy or eighty."
At this point they were silent for a while.
She smiled and said, "If it's really like you said, that people will still remember me after thousands and thousands of years, then isn't thousands and thousands of years too much? A hundred years would be fine. If people still remember me after a hundred years, and if people still read what I write, I must write about our story. That way, we can still be together after I die. Death is not the end; not being remembered is the end. As long as someone still remembers me, someone will definitely remember you."
She knew what he wanted to say, but before he could open his mouth, she said willfully, "Whether you like it or not, I want you to be with me."
He smiled and said, "That's good. Then people probably won't just think of me as a vicious person. Thinking about her, how could she like someone like this so much? There must be something else."
"Then people must know that I hadn't achieved anything when we were together. Otherwise, people will definitely say, 'How could he be interested in her when he holds such a high position?' It's just because she's famous, and he's trying to show off." She said sadly, "If you saw me in school, looking so shabby, would you still like me?"
"Of course."
"I don't believe it."
"When I was your age, I also wore coarse linen clothes, but many people still liked me. Some of them were even young ladies from wealthy families who wanted me to study abroad with them. But I still didn't get along with them and didn't like it."
"you!"
Wang Jiazhi realized that, at the same age as herself, he wore coarse linen clothes and was financially strapped. But his mindset was different. In his youth, he was confident that as long as one was clean and presentable, there was nothing to criticize. He only had a few sets of cotton gowns to change into year-round, some of which were even faded from washing. Even when he had money, he rarely spent it on clothes.
At that time, he was outstanding and motivated, and had infinite aspirations and expectations for life. Even in poor days, he could live a confident and wonderful life.
Having lost his mother and been abandoned by his father, he lost all confidence and was very concerned about other people's criticism of his poor situation.
"If I had been born a dozen years earlier, we would both be wearing coarse linen clothes, thorny hairpins and cloth skirts. Look at what those people say. They don't want a young lady who can go abroad, but insist on finding a fire-making maid. It turns out that poor people like poor people."
He laughed and said, "In a few years, when I become an official and you become famous, they will definitely say that birds of a feather flock together. Dragons seek out dragons, and bears seek out bears. I said long ago that none of them would remain poor forever."
She couldn't help laughing and said, "That's exactly what Madam Ma said. When you were unknown, she ridiculed and looked down on you. I don't know how harsh her words were. Now that you've achieved success, she's been so arrogant and flattering. It's outrageous. Drink!"
At this point, she thought about how they had been having an affair and how Mrs. Ma was still very favored, and she became furious again. She unbuttoned her clothes and started biting and nibbling him again.
He saw his daughter sleeping soundly in the crib, with the dark purple bear sweater she had taken off lying beside her. He remembered what he had just said and smiled, "If a bear begets a bear, it will give birth to a little bear."
She said, "It may not be just one, there may be many."
"A lot is too many. It's very tiring. Just two or three will be enough."
That night, Wang Jiazhi dreamed that they lived in a small wooden house in the woods. The mottled shadows of the trees cast a shadow on the house and the grass in front of it. There was a big white dog and several fluffy kittens in the house, and several children were playing happily in front of the house.
The Romance of Zhou and Zhi (Li Ping'er version of The Golden Lotus)
"You vixen and slut, you are promiscuous and the women you have played with are like dirt!" Old Wu said angrily.
He just looked at the white lotus in front of him with melancholy and did not refute.
"Those women wanted to do that. How dare you criticize them? You're such a rude person, but you abused and murdered women. They didn't want to, and you've lost all conscience... It's simply unbearable. Minced into pieces!"
"Ah!!! You vixen, you bewitched this tyrant! You will die a horrible death!"
Old Wu was dragged away and tortured.
"My lord, don't be fooled by this vixen. She is a worthless person who has done all kinds of evil things behind the scenes. The number of people who have died unjustly at her hands exceeds tens of thousands!" Kuang Yumin cried.
"That wasn't his original intention. Are you trying to kill him? He was a willow catkin in the wind, a flower in his body, and you've tortured him into this state!"
Only she noticed that the tip of his originally quiet tail trembled slightly.
He said sadly, "They are right. Someone like me would humiliate you."
"My brother, I won't let you say that. You are the best man there is. My kind and righteous brother, if you leave me, I won't be able to live."
She hugged his big tail and cried, wiping her tears with the tail.
"My dear sister, I know you care about me. The more you treat me like this, the more I can't tarnish your good name. When I'm here, I can still guide and advise you. Once I'm gone, the entire court will be filled with either drunkards or unscrupulous people, all hoping to rely on you for their own success. Who will be willing to give you advice or care about you? I've already found someone, and after I'm gone, I want him to take my place."
Kuang Yumin said anxiously: "I, I, I!!!"
Xiao Shuang said, "You thief who got on the bus, you're a jerk with a human skin wrapped around a dog's bones. You're just dreaming of the Spring and Autumn Period. You're only fit to be with Lai Xiujin, that thief whore who's just a pig's pushover!"
Someone brought Zhou Minlin to pay his respects.
She thought he was really going to leave her, and it felt like a knife cutting through her flesh and liver. She cried out, "My dear brother, if we can't make it to the end, I'd rather close my mouth and eyes and die immediately, so that I don't have to cut my stomach and suffer the pain of living a life worse than death!"
At this time, the little fox came over, hugged his father's other tail, and cried, "Mother, you don't want me and Daddy anymore!"
"Ah! Burning with fire! Mincing into pieces! Feed them all to Dabai!"
Xiao Shuang thought to herself, "Stop the mincing! I can't chop the meat anymore. My arm is about to break. Please spare me! Old Wu hasn't chopped me up yet!"
"You slut, you're relying on having a child to bully the king. You're going to die a miserable death!"
Xiao Shuang said, "You thief prisoner, you chaotic thing. Fatty Tang is hanging in a jar of vinegar. My master has a heart of glass and lungs of crystal. A blow on the head and a clatter on the soles of the feet would make you, a treacherous minister, be deceived. Dream on!" He added, "My master, the meat of these thieves is unpalatable. Dogs don't like it. Why not change it to jerky and dry it into dried meat? Maybe the dogs will be able to eat it." He thought to himself, "Slicing it is easier than chopping it."
Zhou Zhi wiped her tears and said, "If you can't chop it anymore, chop it off little by little over the next few days. You need Meihui to help you. Start with your hands and feet, so you can live longer."
"Ah!!! Tyrant Emperor!!!"
He gently stroked her and the little fox with his tail and whispered, "Don't torture others because of me. Just scratch them as you like."
"No, I'm going to chop them up!" She cried and nestled into his arms.
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