Chapter 42 He felt wronged again
Time seemed to stand still for a few seconds. Yan Zhenxi held his breath, but it felt like several days and nights had passed before he heard Jiang Zhiyao speak somewhat slowly: "Should we have the servants change to a thicker quilt?"
He does this again.
Jiang Zhiyao clutched the rag doll tightly, feeling unusually annoyed.
He always says and does things that seem plausible, but he never says he loves her.
This caused her to have unfounded speculations, tossing and turning at night, giving her the illusion that he needed her.
Jiang Zhiyao is actually very good at discerning a person's attitude towards her from their actions, tone of voice, and expression. Whether it's an innate ability or something she developed later in life, she has always been able to capture the subtle malice and goodwill of others very well.
What she excels at most is reading people's eyes. Eyes don't lie; no matter how sweet the words or how gentle the actions, the true thoughts of a person will always be revealed in their eyes.
But she was powerless to help Yan Zhenxi; her best skill in interpersonal relationships was nowhere to be used.
Every time she tried to subconsciously observe the eyes of the person in front of her, she was met with a white veil. Therefore, Jiang Zhiyao sometimes felt uneasy in the face of Yan Zhenxi's kindness and closeness.
Jiang Zhiyao didn't know what he thought of her. She didn't know why Yan Zhenxi had distanced himself from her at first, or why he had become closer to her later, nor did she know why he had made those small but incredibly noticeable gestures during this time.
She didn't understand these things, nor did she want to guess.
She didn't know if his tenderness and affection towards her were his true nature, a sense of responsibility, a pastime, or something he was completely unaware of.
He watched coldly as her heart sank further, ignoring her struggles.
Watching her struggle in the river from the shore, he was reluctant to offer her a branch, instead turning into water plants to pull her into deeper water.
Jiang Zhiyao felt that most of the time, it was just a single action or word from Yan Zhenxi that would make her dazzled and take the initiative to approach him.
She knew that Yan Zhenxi treated her very well, but this kindness often made Jiang Zhiyao feel uneasy.
Every time Jiang Zhiyao felt that Yan Zhenxi liked her, she would start to examine herself and ask herself if there was anything about her that made Yan Zhenxi like her.
She didn't have a distinguished family background, outstanding talent, or stunning beauty; she was just an ordinary person, and Jiang Zhiyao knew this clearly.
Yan Zhenxi never explicitly expressed his feelings for her. However, Jiang Zhiyao lowered her eyes and said that she wanted to be her husband and wife. Perhaps it was just out of a sense of responsibility. It wouldn't matter if she wanted to go back on her word.
Speaking of which, Jiang Zhiyao laughed self-deprecatingly. She had never clearly and directly expressed her love for him, so why did she resent him like this in her heart?
He was unaware of his careful observations at the banquets, of his intimate knowledge of his life, of his ecstatic joy at his wedding, and of the countless sleepless nights he had spent tossing and turning.
He knew nothing, and she had never told him anything, yet now she was asking him in her heart to give her the same, or even more passionate and direct, love.
Jiang Zhiyao, you're being far too selfish," she thought to herself, condemning herself.
But for some reason, Jiang Zhiyao still felt wronged, and tears streamed down her temples and into the pillow.
It's all Yan Zhenxi's fault.
It's his fault for being too good to me, which made me hope for more and caused me to hold a grudge against his slight distance and avoidance.
Upon hearing Jiang Zhiyao's words, Yan Zhenxi stiffened for a moment before finally speaking in a somewhat dry voice, "...No need."
Is there something wrong somewhere?
Unable to understand, Yan Zhenxi lay back down dejectedly, unconsciously frowning.
He could certainly hear the slight resistance and evasion in Jiang Zhiyao's words.
Why is this happening? Yan Zhenxi felt as if her heart had been squeezed into a knot, a dull ache in her chest.
It's not summer now, so when he holds her, there won't be any sticky sweat that A-Yao doesn't like. Every time he holds A-Yao, he adjusts the position to make A-Yao most comfortable, so it shouldn't be a problem with the position.
So where exactly did things go wrong?
Is it because I'm too clingy?
When Yan Zhenxi sometimes overheard those officials talking about their private affairs, he would hear them complain that their wives were too clingy after being married for a long time, which annoyed them.
Ah Yao... is it because of this now too?
But he was trying very hard to restrain himself, trying not to let his strange thoughts show in front of A Yao; trying not to let his gaze fall on A Yao so obviously all the time; trying to control his body so that it wouldn't stick close to A Yao whenever it saw her.
Yan Zhenxi pursed her lips, turned to look at Jiang Zhiyao, her heart pounding with uncontrollable emotions.
But after his subtle invitation was rejected, Yan Zhenxi had no way to speak or take any further action.
Yan Zhenxi is actually somewhat aloof and good at hiding his true feelings. He never and disdains to openly express his clear preferences and thoughts. What he is good at is keeping a close eye on his target, quietly setting a trap, and then taking it legitimately.
After staring at Jiang Zhiyao for half the night, listening to her long, steady breathing, Yan Zhenxi suddenly stood up and bit down on Jiang Zhiyao's exposed white neck.
Yan Zhenxi originally wanted to bite harder, although he didn't know why he wanted to do so.
But when his cool lips touched her warm and delicate skin, Yan Zhenxi unconsciously closed his teeth, only lightly brushing against her, sticking a few strands of hair together, and then placing a gentle kiss on her neck.
They lingered for a long time before finally parting, a few strands of hair brushing against each other between their lips and teeth, small yet noticeable.
After the kiss, as if something had been unlocked, Yan Zhenxi hugged Jiang Zhiyao from behind, holding her close in his arms, and only then did he feel a little calmer.
It's okay. If Ayao finds him a bit annoying, then he can just be affectionate towards Ayao in secret, just like before.
Anyway, Ayao will always be by my side, Yan Zhenxi thought.
And it's probably just that Ayao is in a bad mood tonight.
-
Jiang Zhiyao woke up much earlier than usual today because she was going to a palace banquet.
Perhaps because she had gotten up early, Yan Zhenxi had not yet left the mansion and was sitting in front of the dressing table tying her hair.
After washing up, Jiang Zhiyao saw that Yan Zhenxi was still sitting in front of the dressing table, awkwardly tying her hair up. She sighed softly and walked over.
"I'll do it."
As the hair ornament in his hand was taken away, Yan Zhenxi felt Jiang Zhiyao's gentle touch and subtly raised the corners of his mouth.
As if comforted, all the gloom from last night vanished.
After everything was ready, we boarded a carriage and headed to the palace.
It was a flower appreciation banquet. Jiang Zhiyao looked at the vibrant flowers beside her. She had seen them a few days ago, but she couldn't help but be amazed for a moment and unconsciously bent down to touch them.
"Oh." A gentle voice came from not far away, "Isn't this Madam Jiang? Why are you here alone?"
Jiang Zhiyao straightened up. Mingzhu had accompanied Sister Ji to arrange some matters, while she wanted to enjoy the flowers alone for a while. With the two of them not beside her, Jiang Zhiyao felt a little uneasy.
But she quickly regained her composure and nodded slightly to the person who had come: "Miss Chang."
The visitor was Chang Tong, the second young lady of the Marquis's mansion. Jiang Zhiyao found it strange, as Miss Chang had never spoken to her much before. Why was she taking the initiative to talk to her now?
"Is this peony so beautiful that Madam Jiang has been looking at it for so long?" Chang Tong leaned closer to Jiang Zhiyao to look at the peony, his tone gentle, as if he were genuinely curious.
But Jiang Zhiyao frowned slightly, feeling a little uncomfortable, and moved a little distance away, unwilling to stay here for long: "It is very nice, I have finished viewing it, Miss Chang can look around more."
Just as she took a step forward, Chang Tong inadvertently stepped aside to block Jiang Zhiyao's path: "Madam Jiang, is there something urgent? Why don't we chat for a while?"
Jiang Zhiyao had no choice but to stop, and then she heard Chang Tong slowly say, "I heard that Chief Minister Yan has been handling affairs in the palace a lot lately? And he doesn't go back until very late?"
"Chief Minister Yan is truly diligent, unlike my father, who always goes home as soon as he finishes his business so he can spend more time with my mother."
After she finished speaking, she stared intently at Jiang Zhiyao, but perhaps to her disappointment, Jiang Zhiyao spoke with a calm expression: "Is that so? It seems that my husband is really diligent, working hard for the country and the people. He often tells me that he feels there is not enough time, so that he can do more for the king and the people."
Chang Tong naturally understood Jiang Zhiyao's other meaning, and her usual smile froze for a moment.
"Does Madam Jiang and Prime Minister Yan not get along very well?" Chang Tong's smile faded, and his dark eyes fixed on Jiang Zhiyao. "If they are incompatible in every way, it would be better to separate as soon as possible. A forced marriage will never be happy, Madam Jiang, don't you think?"
Chang Tong clenched her knuckles, no longer bothering to hide her feelings. She had liked Yan Zhenxi for a long time. After learning that he had lost his sight, she hesitated but still liked him and wanted to be with him. If she had asked him then, she was sure he wouldn't have refused. But her family stopped her. Now that she saw Yan Zhenxi rise to the position of Grand Secretary, how could Chang Tong be willing to accept it?
She felt that Jiang Zhiyao was only married off to him because of the arranged marriage, and Yan Zhenxi was only keeping the position of wife for her because of his sense of responsibility.
The Prime Minister's wife—who wouldn't want that position? She certainly did, especially since the Prime Minister was Yan Zhenxi. It wouldn't matter if it were anyone else, but the one sitting in that position was someone Chang Tong had never even considered a nobody.
Chang Tong didn't know Jiang Zhiyao well; her only impression of her was that she was reserved. She thought that Yan Zhenxi wouldn't do anything to betray his promise, so she would go find Jiang Zhiyao instead. She figured Jiang Zhiyao was self-aware enough to back down on her own.
"Miss Chang, what do you mean by that?" Jiang Zhiyao asked with a light smile. "What are you trying to say to me again?"
"So this is what the second young lady of the Marquis's mansion is like?" Jiang Zhiyao's tone held a hint of regret. "If you want to do something, Miss Chang, you can just go directly to Zhenxi. Why bother coming to me?"
Chang Tong frowned at Jiang Zhiyao's words. Of course, she had heard about Zhao Taifu's matter and felt a little irritated. If Yan Zhenxi could agree, why would she come to find Jiang Zhiyao?
Furthermore, Jiang Zhiyao is just someone with no background whatsoever, how dare she speak to her like that? As the most favored young lady of the Marquis's mansion, this was the first time Chang Tong had been spoken to with a hint of sarcasm.
Before Chang Tong could say anything more, Jiang Zhiyao took a step back and said, "I am not familiar with Miss Chang, and there is no need to talk too much. Farewell."
Jiang Zhiyao was about to turn and leave, but then remembered something and said seriously to Chang Tong, "I don't like you."
Upon hearing this, Chang Tong was stunned for a moment, not understanding why. The words she had prepared were stuck in her throat, making her feel frustrated. But then she found it a little funny. Was she a child? Why did she say this at the end?
Jiang Zhiyao pursed her lips and left, her inner self far from the calm she appeared to be. Her palms were sweaty; she rarely spoke to people so openly and without pretense, so she was inevitably a little nervous.
Chang Tong came to her with these words only because he relied on the Marquis's mansion behind him and didn't take her seriously. If it were someone else, Chang Tong probably wouldn't have acted this way. Jiang Zhiyao thought that she wasn't without anyone behind her.
She doesn't like people either, so Sister Ji won't like them either.
Chang Tong didn't take Jiang Zhiyao's last words to heart. She just felt that Jiang Zhiyao was a little different from what she had imagined. She had heard people say that Jiang Zhiyao was a timid and quiet person, but she thought that Jiang Zhiyao was quite eloquent.
Not long after, a female official arrived with several maids. She bowed to Chang Tong and said, "Her Majesty the Empress says that Miss Chang is requested to return to her residence for today's flower viewing banquet."
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