Chapter 1 Failed Again
In 2013, the end of July in H City was not hot, with an average temperature of 20°. There was no need to turn on the air conditioner, and a cool breeze would blow in by opening the window.
Today is the third day since Jiang Jinyue moved into the Rhine Community. It is also the third time that he has stood in line in front of the busy bun shop outside the community early in the morning.
This bun shop is very popular. Jiang Jinyue, who was standing at the end of the line, smelled the delicious food and her stomach growled a few times.
Rhine Community is close to the university town. It is summer vacation now and schools have not yet started. The people who get up early to buy buns nearby are office workers and elderly people. Seeing the line getting longer and longer, the office workers became a little anxious. As soon as the person in the front leaves, they immediately squeeze forward, one person squeezes against another, and the distance between them becomes closer and closer.
Jiang Jinyue lowered his head and raised his hand to press the brim of his hat. The frame of his glasses was stuck between his ear and the brim, which was a bit painful. The mask on his face also made him feel stuffy, but he couldn't care less about these at the moment. He was staring at the space that was constantly being squeezed in front and behind. His heartbeat became more and more chaotic, and the fingertips pressing on the brim of his hat trembled slightly.
Getting closer and closer.
Jiang Jinyue tried hard to breathe steadily. He had already anticipated countless collisions that could happen at any time. It might be that the person behind him squeezed up and bumped into his shoulder in a hurry, or the person in front of him turned around and bumped into his arm when leaving.
It was just a small touch. No one knew him. It was no big deal. No one would notice him. No one would take him seriously. There weren't so many audiences in life. It wouldn't hurt to be touched. Jiang Jinyue thought to himself over and over again.
The person in front of him took a step forward at this time, and Jiang Jinyue immediately followed, still maintaining a steady distance.
But this time, the person behind him no longer kept the distance, and rushed over in a hurry, lightly bumping into Jiang Jinyue's back.
"Oh, sorry, I was looking down at my phone." The person behind me immediately apologized.
Jiang Jinyue's fingers were tightly clasped around the brim of his hat, his throat tightened instantly, all the air was expelled, and breathing became extremely difficult at this moment.
His body seemed to be suddenly frozen and then thawed in an instant, his shoulders going from stiff to shaking violently.
Jiang Jinyue opened his mouth and wanted to say it was okay, but an unpleasant gasp came out of his throat.
The person standing behind him leaned forward curiously, "Hello? Are you okay?"
The breath of another person seemed to blow past Jiang Jinyue's ears. He could no longer bear it. He took a step sideways and left the team, and quickly ran into the alley on the side. He only vaguely heard the person behind him seemed to mutter "incomprehensible".
It's very confusing.
Jiang Jinyue leaned against the wall, pulled off his mask with force, and gasped for breath.
Although it is summer, the mornings in H City are still slightly cool. The cool air flows into the throat, alleviating the tightness and suffocation in the throat.
Jiang Jinyue closed his eyes, and a mist formed on his lenses.
Failed again.
He turned his head to glance at the long line in front of the bun shop. When the discomfort in his body gradually subsided, he took out his mobile phone and fiddled with it, and habitually clicked on the forum.
In 2013, touch-screen smartphones without hard keyboards became popular. Apple phones were too expensive for Jiang Jinyue, so he used a yellow-shelled smartphone with no name that cost 600 yuan. Although it was very slow to use, Jiang Jinyue didn't mind.
Tieba was a popular APP at that time. Jiang Jinyue couldn't resist his curiosity and secretly created a Tieba of his own, named "Yue's Nest". He was the only one following it. Signing in every day, watching the experience points increase, and writing miscellaneous notes on it was one of Jiang Jinyue's pleasures, although he had no audience.
He skillfully created a new post, titled it "Failed Again," and contained only one sentence: Keep up the good work! I will succeed!
After posting, Jiang Jinyue flipped through his own forum and found several similar posts with titles such as "Failed again" and "Didn't do it today" and so on.
He sighed, put away his phone, and went to look at the long line in front of the bun shop.
The uncle selling buns was very skillful. His iron hands, wearing only a thin layer of plastic gloves, quickly packed the hot buns with different fillings into bags and sent away several customers in the blink of an eye.
Jiang Jinyue counted the number of people in the queue, thinking that he would queue up again when another person came.
Soon a man stood at the end of the team. Jiang Jinyue took a step forward slightly, and the soles of his shoes made a slight friction sound against the ground. He still stood there without moving.
Just wait for one more person, Jiang Jinyue encouraged himself. When one more person comes, he will definitely go back to queue.
Until the cool breeze of the early morning dissipated slightly and the heat of summer slowly began, there were no customers in front of the bun shop, and Jiang Jinyue was still standing at the entrance of the alley.
The man in the bun shop had already started sorting out the empty steamers. Jiang Jinyue then walked over. When he stood in front of the bun shop, he had already put his mask back on and his hat brim pulled down low. He didn't look at anyone, but only asked quietly, "Excuse me, do you have any buns left?"
"Yes, what kind of filling do you have? How many do you want?" The uncle's voice was still deep even after working all morning.
Jiang Jinyue: "Two, one vegetarian and one pork."
"Okay." The uncle packed the buns skillfully and handed the bag to Jiang Jinyue. When Jiang Jinyue paid the money and carefully avoided the uncle's hand to grab the bag, the uncle suddenly put a tea egg in the bag and handed it to him.
"Here, there's one tea egg left. I'll give it to you." The uncle said as he lowered his head curiously, wanting to take a look at Jiang Jinyue's face hidden under the brim of his hat. He had noticed Jiang Jinyue who always came to queue early in the past few days, left the queue halfway, and only came to buy buns after all the people were gone.
Jiang Jinyue lowered his head even more. He hurriedly took the tea egg and said, "Thank you."
The uncle shrugged and turned around to continue packing.
Jiang Jinyue left quickly and walked quickly towards the door of the rental house.
Most of the houses in the Rhine community are rented out. There is still more than a month before the university starts, and the occupancy rate is not high. Far away from the commercial street outside the community, the community is very quiet and there are almost no people.
Such an environment made Jiang Jinyue breathe a sigh of relief. He slowed down his anxious pace, walked around the greenery, turned a corner and saw the unit door.
There was a boy standing by the door, holding a cigarette and fiddling with a thin silver-white mobile phone. The phone looked particularly beautiful, very different from Jiang Jinyue's earthy bright yellow phone, although they were both touch-screen smartphones.
Jiang Jinyue's pace slowed down even more.
The boy was wearing a short denim jacket, simple casual pants, and a pair of clean white sneakers. He stood in a casual posture but his shoulders were still broad, and the loose casual pants could not hide his pair of straight long legs.
The closer he got, the more familiar Jiang Jinyue felt that this person looked.
Until he walked to the door of the unit, he subconsciously looked up and looked at the man's eyes through the swirling smoke.
The mist was hazy, and the man raised his long eyelashes, and a pair of cold black eyes looked over. Because of the height difference between the two people, the man didn't even raise his head.
After just one glance, Jiang Jinyue immediately looked away, quickened his pace again, and ran into the unit door and disappeared.
The person behind the smoke looked at the phone again with an indifferent expression, as if he didn't recognize Jiang Jinyue at all.
Jiang Jinyue walked out of the elevator and into his home, thinking that it was normal for that person not to recognize him. Although they had been in the same school for two years, they were not in the same class, and he was an invisible and marginal person.
Even though they had had a little bit of interaction, Jiang Jinyue had already gotten used to being forgotten.
The door of the rental house was closed. Jiang Jinyue took off his hat and mask, threw the heavy glasses on the table, and skillfully took out a black clip from his pocket to pin up the long hair on his forehead. Then he sat on the sofa and let out a long sigh.
He goes through this process every time he goes out or comes in, as skillfully as a soldier putting on and taking off armor countless times. To him, long bangs, thick glasses and mask are his armor.
Jiang Jinyue picked up the still hot bun, took a bite, and was a little distracted.
The person downstairs was Lu Qingmian, a transfer student who had just arrived in the second year of high school at Ze County No. 2 Middle School. He was the male god and academic master of Ze County No. 2 Middle School, a legendary figure. It was said that he was originally from S City. It was already incredible that he inexplicably transferred to a small and shabby high school in a small county town in his second year of high school. Now seeing him in H City, Jiang Jinyue felt even more strange.
Everyone was saying that Lu Qingmian would definitely return to S City or go abroad after college. After all, not only did he have excellent academic performance that made him incompatible with Ze County No. 2 Middle School, he also had a superior family background that was completely inconsistent with the poor temperament of Ze County.
After finishing one bun, Jiang Jinyue was about to take a bite of the second one when a fine itch spread around his shoulder blades on his back.
The itch went from mild at first to maddeningly intense in just a few seconds. The still hot bun was thrown on the coffee table. Jiang Jinyue anxiously took off his coat, raised his hand to scratch his back frantically, and rushed to the bathroom.
There it is again, that maddening, helpless itch.
Jiang Jinyue only had time to take off his short-sleeved shirt before he turned on the cold water in the shower. The itchiness on his back was relieved a little under the cold water, but it was still severe.
Jiang Jinyue frowned, her crow-feather-like eyelashes trembled, and drops of water kept falling from her eyelashes, crossing her straight nose, flowing along her slender collarbone and across her somewhat thin chest.
He put his hands behind his back and scratched his back with his neatly trimmed nails. The fair skin near his shoulder blades was already covered with red marks, and blood was faintly seeping out.
Feeling the pain, Jiang Jinyue did not stop until his back was a mess and the itching gradually subsided. Then he lowered his arms and gently turned off the shower.
“Tick, tick…”
The shower head was a bit old, and even after it was turned off, water droplets were still dripping, and the sound of water hitting the floor tiles could be clearly heard in the quiet bathroom.
Jiang Jinyue lowered his head, his legs still wrapped in wet pants, and walked out of the bathroom slowly.
He walked to the floor-length mirror in the bedroom and slowly took off his pants until he was completely naked.
Strands of wet hair stuck to her cheeks. Jiang Jinyue looked up and looked at herself in the mirror.
The cold water made the tip of his nose slightly red, and even his lips looked even more crimson. His facial features were exquisite, and his overly stunning beauty made him look androgynous.
Jiang Jinyue roughly lifted her hair, and her clear eyes quietly examined her body.
Too fair skin, not too broad shoulders, thin chest, too thin waist.
Jiang Jinyue pressed his fingertips on himself and drew them across his body, leaving deep red marks.
In sharp contrast to the slender waist were the overly perky buttocks. Jiang Jinyue lowered his head and saw his somewhat fleshy thighs, and then noticed his knees which were slightly red.
That touch of red is like the purest rouge, neither too thick nor too light.
Not only her knees, but even her toes were slightly pink after being drenched in cold water. Her round toes were curled up, and her instep had a beautiful curve, so delicate that it didn't look like a man's feet.
Jiang Jinyue immediately looked away and looked up to meet his own eyes in the mirror.
Those eyes were cold and clear, filled with undisguised disgust.
"It's so disgusting." Jiang Jinyue murmured, scratching his skin with his fingertips even harder.
He hated his body so much, hated this body that didn't look like a man's.
He turned around, unwilling to look at himself again.
The mirror reflected his shoulder blade covered with mottled red marks, which overlapped like wings eager to flap.
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