Bruises and "I'm Sorry"
One afternoon near the college entrance examination, the spring rain that had lasted for several days had stopped and the air began to become stuffy.
I walked through the corridor of the teaching building holding a stack of newly distributed mock exam papers.
"Lin Nian."
A voice came from the side, familiar yet unfamiliar.
I stopped and saw Ye Zhixia standing in the shadow of the column, as if she had been waiting for a long time.
The feeling at that moment was ridiculous, as if I had accidentally pressed the wrong rewind button in time and returned to a chapter that had long been turned over.
Ever since we parted on bad terms at her house on that rainy day, we haven't had any contact since.
She cut her hair short and permed it into slight curls. Her school uniform jacket was tied loosely around her waist, revealing a T-shirt with an abstract pattern underneath. She looked very Ye Zhixia, yet very unlike Ye Zhixia.
"What's up?"
I don't know what to say to her.
She didn't look at me, but lowered her head to take out her cell phone, slid her fingers across the screen quickly a few times, and then handed it to me.
On the screen was a photo of Jiang Yuanzhou and a girl.
The background is the steps in front of the city library, and the evening light is very soft.
Jiang Yuanzhou tilted his head and said something to the girl with a faint smile on his lips.
The girl was wearing another school's uniform and had her hair tied in a high ponytail. She looked up at him with bright eyes.
They walked side by side, not too far nor too close, but the atmosphere was undeniable.
Is that the "Yao Xin"?
The name flashed through my mind, but quickly faded away.
I stared at the screen for a long time, but strangely, my heart did not feel as turbulent as I had expected. Instead, it was surprisingly calm, without even a ripple.
Perhaps something died quietly a long time ago.
Ye Zhixia held up her phone, waiting for any response from me, and her patience seemed to be exhausted.
She suddenly withdrew her hand, "Lin Nian! You are still so useless!"
I looked at her, seeing the anger, disappointment, and something I couldn't interpret intertwined in her eyes...heartache?
The emotions that had been pent up for too long seemed to have finally found a breakthrough.
It’s not because of Jiang Yuanzhou’s “betrayal”, but because of what all of us have lost little by little over the years and can never be found again.
Tears welled up without warning, not sobbing, but silent, torrents of tears that blurred my vision in an instant.
Ye Zhixia was stunned.
I held her wrist and tears fell to the ground one by one.
She stood there stiffly, not moving away.
After hesitating for a few seconds, she stretched out her other hand and patted my back somewhat awkwardly.
————
Later I heard that Ye Zhixia had someone block Jiang Yuanzhou on the small road behind the laboratory building in the evening of that day.
According to rumors, Ye Zhixia, chewing gum and folding her arms, said to Jiang Yuanzhou, who was surrounded by a few friends she brought with her, "No man who cheats is a good person."
Her tone was cold and full of disdainful sarcasm, "Only that fool Lin Nian would have fallen for you in the first place."
After school, I saw Jiang Yuanzhou was the last one to come out of the classroom.
He lowered his head, his hair covering part of his eyebrows and eyes, but the bruise at the corner of his left eye and the broken skin at the corner of his mouth were still clearly visible.
There was a gray stain on the collar of his school uniform shirt, and the cuffs were wrinkled.
He zipped up his bag, turned around, and without warning, met my gaze.
The corridor was bustling with people and was extremely noisy.
We looked at each other from a few steps away, and time seemed to stand still for a moment.
His eyes were complicated, showing embarrassment and guilt, but in the end it all turned into silence.
I sighed, but in the end I couldn't turn a blind eye.
I walked over and held his arm. "Can you walk?"
He nodded, his voice hoarse, "Yeah."
I supported him, walked out of the teaching building and across the playground. The setting sun made our shadows overlap.
"Don't tell my parents." He leaned on the sofa in my living room, his head tilted back, his eyes closed, his voice muffled.
I didn't say anything, turned around and went to the bathroom to get the medicine box.
I dipped a cotton swab in iodine and carefully wiped the wound at the corner of his mouth.
When the cotton swab touched the broken skin, he frowned in pain but didn't say a word.
"I'm sorry." He suddenly spoke, his eyes still closed, "Niannian, I'm sorry."
My hand movements paused.
He apologized, for this inexplicable cold war, for that photo, and for all the inexplicable hurt.
However, from beginning to end, he never mentioned again the words "I like you" that made my heart beat out of control under the old locust tree on Christmas Eve that year.
I thought I would have a lot of questions to ask and a lot of grievances to express.
But when I looked at the fresh bruises at the corners of his eyes and the clotted blood at the corners of his mouth, thought of Lulu's empty room, and thought of Cheng Yu'an forever remaining at the age of seventeen, all the words were stuck in my throat, and there was no point in asking any more questions.
Nothing matters anymore. Really.
Disinfect, apply medicine, and put on a Band-Aid.
After doing all this, I packed up the medicine box.
Jiang Yuanzhou stood up, his movements a little unsteady.
"I'm leaving," he said.
I walked him to the door and watched him limp slightly as he slowly walked down the stairs and disappeared around the corner.
The voice-controlled lights in the corridor went out, and everything was dark.
I leaned against the doorframe, suddenly feeling exhausted.
Everyone has gone away, either in a decisive manner or in silence.
I'm the only one who's really clinging to the past and won't let go.
Since the time we met was not enough for us to stay for each other, I wish that in the future we will carry our own pride and not disturb each other.
This is probably the most decent ending we can write for this youth that ended so abruptly.
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