Chapter 29
The winter morning light, with its cool gentleness, shone through the gaps in the undrawn curtains, slanting across the living room floor, forming a hazy streak of light. Dust motes danced silently within the beam.
Xia Wan's consciousness slowly emerged from a warm haze. Her head split, as if stuffed with soaked cotton. Every breath caused her temples to throb. Her throat felt dry and burning like the desert. Her body felt heavy, as if it had been disassembled and then barely put back together.
She struggled to open her heavy eyelids, and her vision was blurred for a while before it focused.
An unfamiliar perspective—not the bedroom ceiling. She was lying on the living room sofa, covered in a soft, thin blanket. The air was filled with... the aroma of food? Warm, soothing, with the subtle sweetness of cooked rice, creeping into her nostrils.
The memories of last night flooded into her mind like shredded film: the bright lights, Su Qian's piercing laughter, Jiang Yu's resounding defense, the dizziness of champagne, his strong arms, his heart-pounding approach in the elevator, the terrifying fire in his eyes during the wall-bang at the entrance, that passionate, lingering kiss that made her soul tremble... Then his abrupt end to his restraint, his hoarse "You need to calm down," and herself... her own shameful, tearful plea: "Don't go..."
Buzz——
Xia Wan's cheeks flushed instantly! Even more intense than the hangover headache was the immense shame she felt! She'd actually... actually responded to his kiss so passionately while drunk, even grabbing onto his clothes like a child and refusing to let him go! Oh my God! What had she done?!
She tried to sit up suddenly, but because she moved too quickly, she felt dizzy, her vision went dark, and she fell heavily back onto the sofa with a dull thud.
"Awake?" A deep and familiar voice, with a hint of barely perceptible concern, came from the direction of the kitchen.
Xia Wan's body froze instantly, and her blood seemed to freeze! She turned her head stiffly, little by little, and looked towards the kitchen door.
Jiang Yu stood there.
He had shed his suit jacket from last night, leaving behind a neatly pressed white shirt, sleeves casually rolled up to his elbows, revealing his muscular forearms. The morning light highlighted his tall, straight figure, less aloof and more homely. He held a white porcelain bowl filled with steaming, soft, translucent white porridge, garnished with a few emerald green scallions.
He looked at her, his deep eyes calm and peaceful, without any teasing or inquiry, only a quiet peace, as if the storm of last night had never happened.
"Headache?" He walked over with porridge, his tone as natural as if he was talking about the weather, "This is what hangovers are like. Drink some porridge first, your stomach will feel better." He gently placed the bowl on the coffee table in front of the sofa, and the white porcelain made a crisp sound when it collided with the glass.
Xia Wan huddled under the blanket, revealing only her eyes, which were filled with shame, embarrassment, and a panicked desire to disappear. She didn't dare meet his eyes, her gaze drifting around until it finally landed on the bowl of steaming porridge.
"I...I can do it myself." Her voice was hoarse and dry, as if it had been rubbed with sandpaper. She struggled to sit up, and the blanket slipped off, revealing her wrinkled velvet dress underneath. Only then did she realize she was still wearing the dress she had worn last night, and she was so embarrassed that she didn't know where to put her hands and feet.
Jiang Yu did not insist, but just took a step back to give her space, and calmly looked away at the dim morning light outside the window.
Xia Wan fumbled to sit down, wrapping herself tightly in the blanket like a child caught doing something wrong. She picked up the bowl of warm porridge and sipped it slowly. The soft, glutinous rice grains slid across her dry throat, bringing a soothing warmth that slightly dispelled the coldness and discomfort in her body. The porridge was just the right temperature, obviously having been left out for a while. This silent consideration, besides the embarrassment she felt, quietly gave rise to an indescribable warmth.
The living room was silent, with only the sound of her sipping porridge. The atmosphere was subtle and awkward.
Xia Wan's mind raced, trying to sort out the chaotic fragments of last night, especially... after that kiss, had she said anything more outrageous? Or done anything more embarrassing?
"Last night..." She mustered up her courage, her voice still low, tentative and full of embarrassment, "Thank you for sending me back... and... porridge." She deliberately avoided the key words.
Jiang Yu withdrew his gaze from the window and fell on her lowered, blushing face. He was silent for a few seconds before he slowly spoke, his voice low and clear, with a strange frankness:
"I should be the one to say sorry." He paused, as if choosing his words. "Last night... I lost control. With you drunk, that kiss... shouldn't have happened. I lost control of myself."
He took the initiative to bring up the kiss! And took the responsibility on himself!
Xia Wan's heart skipped a beat, her cheeks burning even hotter. She lowered her head even lower, almost burying it in the bowl. She gripped the spoon tightly, her fingertips turning slightly white. She wanted to say, "It's okay," "I too..." But the words wouldn't come out. A huge sense of shame and an inexplicable grievance choked her throat.
"Your response..." Jiang Yu's voice rang out again, with a subtle hint of tension and cautious exploration. "It surprised me... and also... delighted." He chose the word "delighted," his honesty almost bluntly. "But precisely because of this, I can't go on. Xia Wan, what I want is your sober choice, not the impulsive one fueled by alcohol."
His words precisely opened the door to Xia Wan's confused heart! It turned out that he stopped, not because of rejection, not because of regret, but because... cherishment! He cherished her, cherished her so much that he didn't want to take advantage of her while she was unconscious! What he wanted was her clear and complete love!
A huge current of warmth mixed with a bitter feeling of emotion instantly washed away Xia Wan's embarrassment and shame. She suddenly raised her head and looked at Jiang Yu.
He stood there in the morning light, his white shirt crisp and clean, his eyes deep and honest, carrying an almost clumsy sincerity and a heavy weight called "cherish." He was no longer the aloof Mr. Jiang, nor was he the aggressive man from last night. Instead, he was a man... cautiously and clumsily holding a sincere heart, waiting for her to examine him.
"I..." Xia Wan opened her mouth, her throat tight and her voice choked. A thousand words clung to her chest: about her ten years of secret love, about the fluttering in her heart at this moment, about the thrill of that kiss last night... But in the end, she simply looked at him, her eyes a complex mix of emotion, relief, and a hint of shyness still lingering. She softly asked, "So... did you stay up all night?"
Jiang Yu didn't answer directly, but his eyes flickered over her hand, still clutching the spoon. It still seemed to retain the strength of her grip on his shirt from last night. He nodded slightly, his voice low and gentle, "I said I wouldn't leave." He paused, then added, "I leaned on the sofa for a while, and made porridge around dawn."
It was a simple statement, yet it was more moving than any love words. He had kept his word. In her most desperate and vulnerable moments, he had kept his promise, maintained his boundaries, and protected... her.
Xia Wan's heart softened. The bowl of warm porridge seemed to carry the warmth of his palm, warming the deepest part of his heart. All the embarrassment and shame seemed to have melted into dust floating in the morning light, becoming insignificant.
She lowered her head and continued to sip her porridge, this time with a much more relaxed attitude. The warmth of the porridge dispelled the chill of the hangover and soothed the disturbed land in her heart from the previous night. A strange, warm tranquility permeated the small living room.
Jiang Yu didn't disturb her, but walked to the window and gently pulled the curtains open. More morning light poured in, illuminating the dust particles dancing in the air.
Xia Wan finished her last mouthful of porridge and put down her bowl. Her stomach felt warm, and she felt much better. She looked up at the tall figure bathed in the morning light by the window.
"Jiang Yu," she said softly. Although her voice was still hoarse, it was clearer and calmer than ever before. "The porridge... is delicious. Thank you."
Jiang Yu turned at the sound. The morning light outlined his features, a faint glow shimmering in his deep eyes. He looked at the woman on the sofa, whose eyes, though still haggard, had regained their clarity and warmth. His heartstrings, strained all night, finally relaxed. The corners of his lips twitched upwards, a subtle yet genuine curve.
"Yeah." He responded softly.
No extra words.
The morning light is quiet and the aroma of porridge lingers.
Last night's storm has died down.
And behind the tightly closed door of the heart, on top of the ruins, in the silent protection and the warmth of a bowl of warm porridge, it seems that something is quietly breaking through the ground, striving to grow towards the direction of the sunlight.
She secretly glanced up at Jiang Yu by the window. He was bathed in the morning light, his white shirt neatly outlined, his profile soft and focused in the light. He was gazing out at the awakening city, his back erect, a quiet, protective presence.
Fragments of last night's memories, especially that passionate, lingering kiss and her embarrassing plea to stay, replayed in her mind like slow motion, her cheeks heating up with each replay. She could even clearly recall the warmth and force of his lips and tongue, and her own almost greedy response... Oh my god! Xia Wan, what's your state when you're drunk?! It would be better if she just blacked out; the key was that she could still remember it.
This realization made her want to find a hole to crawl into. She finally fully understood the shock and helplessness Jiang Yu must have felt when she, drunk, embraced him that night at the class reunion. Alcohol was truly a terrifying thing. It could easily tear through the defenses of reason, expose the heart's most hidden desires, and create an unmanageable situation.
"Ahem..." Xia Wan cleared her still dry throat, trying to break the delicate and awkward silence, "Um... last night... I'm sorry to bother you." Her voice was low, with a strong sense of embarrassment, "I... after I got drunk, was I... very out of control?" She mustered up the courage to ask the question that concerned her most, her eyes wandering, not daring to look him in the eye.
Jiang Yu turned around at the sound. The morning light fell on his deep eyes, reflecting a calm and honest light. He didn't avoid her question, nor did he have any teasing or probing expression.
"I didn't lose my composure." His voice was low and gentle, with a soothing power, "I'm just... very dependent." He paused, as if looking for more accurate words, "Like... a kitten that recognizes its home." This metaphor carried a hint of tenderness that he himself was not aware of, making Xia Wan's cheeks even redder.
He walked over to the sofa but didn't sit down. He just looked at her across the coffee table, his eyes calm and serious. "Xia Wan, that kiss last night... I'm sorry. I crossed the line. When you were unconscious, no matter how you responded, I shouldn't have continued." He reiterated his responsibility, his tone serious. "Alcohol amplifies emotions and blurs boundaries. You...try to drink less in the future, or only drink when you're sure there's someone you absolutely trust around you."
His words touched upon the most tangled part of Xia Wan's heart. He didn't rebuke her drunken initiative, but instead reiterated the importance of boundaries and sobriety. This clear-headed understanding and restrained sense of responsibility acted like a potent balm, instantly soothing much of her shame and panic. He was protecting her, and also the precious bond that had just begun to blossom between them.
"Yeah," Xia Wan muttered softly, her voice much clearer this time, carrying a hint of relief and acceptance. "I understand. I won't do that again..." She raised her head, finally meeting his gaze. Her eyes were no longer evasive, but clearer and more grateful. "Thank you... for not letting me do something I'd regret more... when I wasn't sober." These words were both a thank you for his timely restraint last night and a profound reflection on her own drunken state. His "forced request" at the class reunion, and the near-loss of control she'd experienced the previous night, had made her fully understand the importance of sobriety.
Jiang Yu looked at the clearness in her eyes and the serious promise she made, and his tense heartstrings completely relaxed. The slight curve at the corner of his lips deepened slightly, and his eyes softened like melting spring water.
"Are you hungry? Porridge... do you want some more?" He changed the subject, his tone naturally filled with daily concern.
"No, that's enough." Xia Wan shook her head, feeling a warm sensation in her stomach. She hesitated for a moment, her eyes fixed on his slightly wrinkled shirt and the barely perceptible tinge of blue in his eyes. "You...didn't get enough rest last night, did you? Do you want to..."
"I'm fine." Jiang Yu interrupted her, his tone relaxed, "I'm used to it." He glanced at the clock in the living room, "It's getting late, I should go. You... have a good rest, don't go to work today, take a day off."
"Yeah." Xia Wan didn't insist. The hangover and the chaos of the night had indeed made her feel tired.
Jiang Yu said nothing more. He picked up the suit jacket draped over the armrest of the sofa and put it on neatly. He walked to the entrance, changed his shoes, and put his hand on the door handle.
Xia Wan instinctively stood up, wrapped in a blanket, and followed him to the entrance. Looking at his tall, straight figure, the tearful words "Don't go" he had said last night seemed to echo in her ears again, and a subtle sense of reluctance inexplicably welled up in her heart.
Jiang Yu seemed to sense her gaze and turned. The morning light shone from behind her, outlining her slightly frail figure wrapped in a blanket. Her long hair was slightly dishevelled, and her bare face was pale from a hangover, with a subtle hint of dependence. This scene struck the softest part of his heart without warning.
He looked at her deeply, with too many complex emotions surging in his deep eyes: a throbbing that had not yet completely subsided, deep love and pity, restrained protection, and a kind of... clear expectation for the future.
"Xia Wan," his voice was low and clear, like a morning bell, ringing in the silent entrance, "I'm sorry about what happened last night. But it also makes me more certain of one thing." He paused, his eyes locked firmly with hers, and every word he spoke was extremely solemn:
"My feelings for you have never changed, and I don't need alcohol to catalyze them. What I want is for you to look at me when you're sober and tell me your answer."
His words, like a spring breeze rippling the lake of her heart, sent ripples of gentle yet resolute emotion. There was no pressure, no pressure, only a frank affirmation and a solemn wait. He once again drew a clear line—not one of rejection, but one of respect and waiting for her to make a conscious choice.
Xia Wan's heart skipped a beat, then resumed its steady, powerful beat. Her cheeks still felt a little hot, but it was no longer from shame, but from the warmth and...throbbing of being treated seriously. She looked into his eyes, filled with seriousness and expectation, and her image was clearly reflected in them.
She didn't answer immediately. The sheer volume of information and the exhaustion of a night required time to process. But she didn't shy away either. She met his gaze and nodded slowly and earnestly, her eyes clear and resolute. "I... understand."
There were no promises, no answers. But a single "I know" spoke volumes. She understood his feelings, his boundaries, his willingness to wait. She needed time, too, to clear her mind and examine whether the love she had buried for a decade could blossom anew in the sunlight of reality.
Jiang Yu understood her look and that nod. The light of anticipation in her deep eyes shone even brighter, like the brightest morning star at dawn. He didn't ask further questions, but simply nodded slightly, a clear and warm curve at the corner of his lips.
"Have a good rest." He said finally, then opened the door, and his tall figure blended into the bright morning light outside the door.
The heavy slam of the door shut shut the outside world out. Silence returned to the apartment, leaving Xia Wan alone standing in the entrance, still wrapped in the thin blanket that carried his scent.
She slowly walked to the window and lifted a corner of the curtain. Downstairs, the familiar black car slowly started up, merged into the morning traffic, and quickly disappeared around the corner.
The sun shone through the windowpane, casting a warm glow over her. The hangover headache seemed to have eased considerably. She lowered her head, staring at her open palm. Last night, it was this hand that had tightly grasped the hem of his shirt, like a drowning man clutching at driftwood. Now, her palm was empty, but the space above her heart was no longer empty.
It was as if a seed was planted there.
A seed called "possibility".
A seed that was solemnly delivered in the clear morning light, requiring her to water it carefully and wait for it.
Xia Wan exhaled softly, the corners of her mouth unconsciously curling up slightly. A light smile, filled with relief and a hint of hidden anticipation, quietly blossomed in the morning light.
She knew that the heavy door between her and Jiang Yu, called "classmate", had been completely opened by that uncontrollable kiss and the subsequent protection last night. Behind the door was not a smooth road, but it was no longer a desolate wasteland.
There is "rubble" that needs to be cleared, "foundations" that need to be re-surveyed, and a piece of "land" that has just been loosened in the morning light and is waiting to be sown.
And she can finally, and must, in a completely sober state, pick up her own tools and begin her own "reconstruction" project, which is full of challenges but also hope.
As for that seed...
She gently covered her heart.
She would take good care of it. When the sun and rain were right, when she was ready and when she was sure the ground was firm enough.
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