He Shaoyun closed her eyes helplessly.
"Trying to mock me?" He Shaoyun turned and stared at Chu Lin, questioning him.
Chu Lin shook his head and explained, "I didn't mean to mock you, but... I wanted to care about you."
He Shaoyun was amused by what Chu Lin said.
"You care about me, so you expose my lies without hesitation? Chu Lin, you're still the same, still unable to speak properly!" He Shaoyun had long known that he was this kind of person, and always had been. "How could I have fallen for you in the first place? You have absolutely no sense of romance."
Despite what had happened to her family, Chu Lin never showed any concern for her, not even offering a word of comfort, which made He Shaoyun feel extremely sad.
On the farm, he experienced those hardships, which he could only tell his older sister.
Chu Lin was someone she cared about and liked, and she didn't want him to see her in such a disheveled state. But Chu Lin insisted on exposing her true colors, leaving her feeling utterly humiliated.
Chu Lin's expression was blank, showing no emotion whatsoever.
Chu Lin didn't know what kind of emotions he should have so as not to anger He Shaoyun.
“After my family had that accident, I could never be a normal person again. Because of my bad class background, I was often isolated by my classmates. I would be bullied on the street, beaten with sticks, and verbally abused. These things happened all the time.”
Chu Lin still remembers that he was a very happy child when he was young.
My father was a highly educated man who used to teach in the Kuomintang-controlled area. In other people's eyes, his family was a source of wealth. They were labeled as such, and my father was beaten to death. My mother committed suicide out of love.
His other cousins don't manage the household affairs either, and the two elderly people are now living off his meager salary.
He used to earn ten yuan a month, then fifteen, then twenty yuan. Now that he's in college, he only earns twenty yuan a month. He's not even qualified to date, get married, or have children.
"Because of my inferiority complex, I always tell myself to work hard and improve myself. My monthly salary is only twenty yuan. I have no right to talk about love. I want to ask, with a family like this, how can I give a girl happiness? Xiaoyun, because of this, I cannot accept your love, nor can I face the person I like. I once missed the opportunity to confess to Lu He. We went down different paths. Even if we like each other, we can't be together."
It's impossible for Chu Lin to leave with Lu He on her own. When she was with other boys, their living standards were completely different.
Lu He was very glad that she wouldn't choose to suffer with someone just because she loved him.
Chu Lin had long been grateful for He Shaoyun's unconditional kindness towards him, which taught him many life skills, such as cooking, washing clothes, and sewing. He had sacrificed so much for her, and through their interactions, he fell in love with the simple, lovely, and kind He Shaoyun.
Seeing all this, Chu Lin coldly rejected He Shaoyun's love. A girl who was originally high above others and lived a privileged life should not be dragged into this quagmire.
Things are different now. He Shaoyun needs his help to live a better life, so he bravely confessed his love for her.
He Shaoyun understood; as long as the two of them were together, Lu He would always be the one revolving around them.
Tears welled in He Shaoyun's eyes, but she tried her best to hold them back. Taking a deep breath, He Shaoyun stood up and said to Chu Lin, "I don't have time to listen to what you have to say, Chu Lin. I have let you go. Isn't it better for us to seek each other's happiness and live our own lives peacefully?"
Chu Lin looked up at He Shaoyun.
“Every time we meet, we talk about Lu He. Actually, the one who can't let go is you, not me!”
He Shaoyun could tell that in Chu Lin's heart, he was only forced to accept her.
“I mentioned Lu He not because I can’t let go, but because I want to tell you that I don’t want to miss you, Xiao Yun. I don’t want to be ashamed anymore. I want to be brave this time.” Chu Lin watched He Shaoyun about to leave and said anxiously, “I know you’re not doing well at the farm. I’m worried about you. I can’t sleep or eat. I’ve tried everything I can to get you out of that place as soon as possible.”
"Let's start over. Maybe you won't believe me if I say now that you're the one I love, but I can prove it with time. I'm convincing myself that I shouldn't use cowardice to cover up my weakness. I want to be brave this time. Even if you don't choose me in the future, it doesn't matter. I just want you to be happy and find the right person for you. That's enough."
"After the New Year, you'll come back to Beijing with me." Chu Lin took out a letter of introduction for university admission from his pocket. "I got this from the Party Secretary. This is your proof to go back to university. You can go back and continue your studies."
He Shaoyun looked at the university admission notice and letter of introduction; it was the same one she had received back then.
He Shaoyun looked up at him, tears welling up in her eyes.
"How did you do that?" He Shaoyun asked Chu Lin. She looked up at Chu Lin's eyes, and at that moment, tears were streaming down her face.
"I waited for a long time. When I saw the leader, I chased after his car. I just wanted you to come back to school and leave that place." Chu Lin said with a smile, "Those people can't make decisions at all. You got your university spot through your own abilities. I chased after it for you. This is the first time I've been so brave. We'll go to school together every day, just like before. This time, I'll cook you something delicious, okay?"
The first time He Shaoyun saw him smile, he was scratching his head and smiling sheepishly.
Even if Chu Lin didn't say it, she knew that Chu Lin must have done a lot of dangerous things, and if he failed, Chu Lin might end up like her.
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