On the night when Mr. Hai ascended to heaven and attained enlightenment, Lord Demon once again got the Golden Spirit Stone as he wished.
A child in black clothes opened his palm, and in the center of his hand was a golden teardrop-shaped crystal.
"After waiting for so long, I finally got the second Golden Spirit Stone!" Ming Huan sighed.
It turns out that the Golden Spirit Stone is hidden in the deepest pain, and only when this pain is healed will it fall out of the body along with tears.
This time, the foreign object that entered the Golden Spirit Stone was actually a seaweed from the cave where Mr. Hai was imprisoned.
However, even an ordinary seaweed, after thousands of years of polishing, becomes extremely precious and full of spiritual energy.
Ming Huan activated his natal bead, and a green pillar hovered above the golden spirit stone. The golden spirit stone shone brightly, then turned into wisps of golden light and flew into Ming Huan's body.
Huh! Ming Huan exhaled slowly.
He slowly turned around and no longer looked like a seven or eight-year-old child, but had become a teenager of sixteen or seventeen.
The boy has deep eyes, rosy lips and a hint of smile at the corners of his mouth. Anyone who sees him will be intoxicated by him.
"Congratulations, sir, on your improvement in cultivation!" Six shadow guardians stepped forward to congratulate him.
As the Demon Lord grew from a child to a teenager, his temperament would also change. It was much easier to serve a rebellious teenager than a completely unreasonable kitten.
Ming Huan nodded, waved his hand, and circulated the absorbed spiritual power throughout his body. He found that he could activate two more spells.
It’s the same flaming sword, the same ice spike.
The Nine Heavens of Ice and Fire is the Demon Lord’s first ultimate move.
"That's right! This way, even if I'm found by Master Zibai, I don't have to worry too much!" Ming Huan looked at his palm with satisfaction, jumped from the roof of the six-story building in the community, and landed lightly.
This time I was able to recover some of my strength, and my pet Simon made the greatest contribution!
Ming Huan decided to reward his pet who was still working hard, so he ran to the roadside stall that Simon often went to and ordered a bowl of wontons for ten yuan.
Ming Huan was quietly waiting for his wontons. His striking appearance had already attracted quite a few eyes. Even the wonton cook greeted Ming Huan with a smile.
"Did this young man just move in? He looks unfamiliar!"
Ming Huan glanced at the boss and said coldly, "Cook your wontons and stop talking nonsense!"
"Bad temper!" the boss muttered and started cooking the wontons seriously.
Ming Huan looked at the wontons bubbling in the pot, feeling a little conflicted. How could he give this gift to his pet? A cat holding a bowl of wontons? That was too weird!
Just when Ming Huan was struggling, Simon also welcomed his last guest of the night.
"I came here because of your reputation!" said Master Zibai straight to the point.
"Because of your reputation?" Simon didn't know when he became so famous.
Light Blue immediately and considerately turned on her display screen, which flashed in front of Simon.
Simon looked at his computer in confusion.
It was a forum, and the title of the forum was: Four Seas and Eight Wastelands Cultivation Forum.
The pinned posts are some announcements and forum rules.
The hottest and most updated article at the moment is "Some Advice for Newcomers Before Ascension" posted by Mr. Hai.
Simon clicked on the post and read it carefully.
The post reads: "Cultivate the truth, cultivate the truth, discard the false and retain the true. Abandoning the false self and embracing the true self is the only correct path to ascension."
To prove this, let me tell you about my past.
… (30,000 words omitted here)
Conclusion: If you have unresolved problems, if you feel you've hit a bottleneck in your cultivation, if you feel you can't find true love, then go see this psychiatrist named Simon! I saw him, and it only cost me 100,000 yuan (of course, the consultation fee was less than 2,000 yuan, and the remaining 98,000 yuan was for roses, an engagement ring, and other things to create a good atmosphere), and I ascended to heaven overnight!
One stone stirs up a thousand ripples. On the second floor, a netizen named "Qingqing" liked the post and left a message: Even if you cannot ascend for the time being, you can put aside distractions and practice seriously.
A heated discussion ensued, the post igniting a frenzy of excitement. Some asked, "Has the mermaid's condition gotten worse?" Others remarked, "The Demon Lord's 'Complete Guide to Demonic Cultivation' is the true path." Some even said, "You ignorant little demons! My third aunt's second aunt's cousin's brother-in-law's nephew was Freud's dog. That dog died at the age of seven. Do you really believe that human psychiatrists can help us achieve enlightenment?"
Finally, a netizen named Papaguai ended the debate, saying, "I can attest that Mr. Hai truly did break through his bottleneck overnight and ascend to heaven!" The dark sea surface turned completely white, and a dazzling light shone from the sky. It scared me to death! I thought it was an invasion from outer space, but it wasn't an alien invasion. It was Mr. Hai the mermaid who ascended! He ascended! This post was literally from before he ascended!
Of course, the climax of the post was that a computer geek named Light Blue claimed to be Dr. Simon's assistant and threw his contact information up.
So, after Qianlan, all the replies became the following format:
"Master Qianlan, I just became a spirit yesterday. I went to see a doctor. Can I ascend tomorrow?"
"Master Qianlan, my idol since childhood has been the Demon Lord. If I see a doctor, can I be favored by the Demon Lord and become his guardian?"
"Master Qianlan, I'm still 80,000 spirit stones short of enough to buy a flying sword. Could the omnipotent doctor lend me some money?"
It took Simon a while to read the post.
He closed the webpage with mixed feelings, then looked up at the Zibai Zhenren in front of him.
True Man Zibai claims to have lived for thirty thousand years, but in fact he looks to be only in his early twenties.
He wore a grass skirt, his black hair a little messy, casually draped over his shoulders, his arms bare, revealing a muscular body with well-proportioned muscles. A string of beech hung around his neck, and in his hand he held a wooden stick with an eagle carved on top, ready to take flight.
Rather than calling this guy Zibai Zhenren, it would be more appropriate to call him Primitive Man.
"That's right, young man, you're good at history!" said Master Zibai. "I've lived for 30,000 years. I'm the caveman you're talking about!"
Simon was so scared that he dropped the cup of water in his hand.
He counted on his fingers, but he couldn't remember how many years had passed since the Shangdingdong people.
Master Zibai calmly picked up the water cup that Simon dropped on the ground and handed it to Simon.
Simon said, "Hello, senior. I wonder what problem you came to me for help with?"
Zibai Zhenren said: "I see that you have good aptitude and a good chance to become an immortal. You should put aside the mundane world and follow me."
Simon felt that he should refuse the request.
So he honestly raised his doubts: "You, old man, have come from the age of cavemen and haven't yet achieved enlightenment... I always feel that it's better for me to stick to psychotherapy."
This sentence completely hit the pain point of Master Zibai.
That’s right, this incident will be an eternal pain in Master Zibai’s heart!
Think about it, I'm a caveman! A caveman!
Do you know what the Upper Cave Man is? The Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors who came after him were already gods. Yaochi Holy Mother was actually younger than him. Oh, and there were also Jiang Ziya and Nezha from Investiture of the Gods. Even Sakyamuni wasn't even 10,000 years old! Not to mention Sun Wukong, Ye Fan and other later generations!
Over the long period of 30,000 years, humans have moved from caves to space.
However, as a prehistoric cultivator, he has not yet ascended to heaven!
Having his sore spot touched, Master Zibai was not at all polite. The primitive savagery had not changed after years of cultivation. He knocked the coffee table in front of him with his wooden stick and said viciously: "Young man, I will give you an incense stick of time. If you are willing to put aside the worldly affairs and follow me, I will accept you as my disciple and teach you all my skills in slaying demons and monsters! If you don't want to..."
Simon was worried that Zibai Zhenren might break his coffee table, so he quickly stepped forward to stop Zibai Zhenren and said, "Senior, please talk nicely. Don't just hit me with a stick when you disagree with me."
Immortal Zibai stopped banging the table with his stick and said impatiently, "Think about it quickly! Don't give me any empty promises. That's right, my most important problem is that I can't ascend for 30,000 years. So I plan to capture you and give me daily psychological counseling to help me ascend and achieve enlightenment!"
Simon was bewildered.
Go with him? Abandon everything here to cultivate immortality? Don't be ridiculous. Simon loves this earthly life, his job, and his clinic!
Moreover, this Immortal Zibai has been practicing Taoism for 30,000 years but still cannot ascend to heaven. It seems that his Taoism skills are not up to standard.
However, facing such an unreasonable Purple White Immortal from the Mountaintop Cave and a primitive man with fighting power, Simon could only use his wits to defeat him.
So Simon thought for three seconds and said, "Okay! I can go with you!"
Master Zibai showed a satisfied smile.
Simon said, "My price is four hundred an hour, and six hundred for house calls. Generally speaking, psychological counseling is only once a week, but if I'm with you around the clock, that's equivalent to twelve hours a day. Let me do the math: 600 * 12 = 7,200. Seven thousand two hundred a day, that's 216,000 a month, and 2.59 million a year... I wonder how many years you need to do this. Is that enough?"
Master Zibai was stunned for a moment.
"I will teach you how to slay demons and monsters..."
Simon interrupted Master Zibai and said, "I'm sorry, but I don't need the ability to slay demons and monsters. I'm just a psychiatrist. So... if you pay the annual fee in full, I can follow you around the clock and provide you with psychological counseling. I wish you a speedy return to the path of immortality."
Master Zibai was furious. He grabbed his stick and smashed it at the computer monster beside him.
It hit him head on, smashing the "2.59 million" flashing on the computer screen into pieces.
Qianlan turned into a human form, covering her face and crying loudly.
Zibai Zhenren cursed: "You liar monster! You said the psychologist's fee is very cheap, so you let us come!"
Light Blue cried and argued, "Four hundred an hour is cheap... wuwuwuwu..."
Simon hurried forward to persuade him, and it took some effort to calm down the Purple White Master in the cave on the top of the mountain.
True Man Zibai came in a hurry with excitement and left in frustration.
He thought Simon had noble sentiments, a soul that was untainted by the mud, and regarded money as dirt.
But I didn’t expect that he would charge such a high price!!
Not only that, the young man also said that the fees would increase in the future, so he asked me to make a decision early.
Make a decision... Haha, make your sister's decision! Ever since I came out of seclusion for a thousand years, when I thought I had finally ascended to enlightenment, I encountered my old enemy, the Supreme Lord of the Demon Realm.
The magic power dissipated after being beaten by the Supreme Lord of the Demon Realm, and he lost the ability to transform.
Worst of all, Zibai Zhenren thought he could live happily, relying on his years of navigating the mortal world. But now, humanity is all about technology, paying bills with WeChat and Alipay. As a caveman, he was already disconnected from human society. Over a thousand years ago, during the Tang and Song dynasties, he could at least get by. But when he emerged again, more than a thousand years later, he encountered and defeated the Demon Lord. With his powers fading, he faced all the basic needs of a human being: food, water, defecation, and clothing. He was practically reduced to a beggar!
You know, he wasn't originally wearing a grass skirt! He originally had a sword in his hand!
It was all because he had been hanging around in modern human society for three months, and he hadn't made much money, so he even sold his flying sword as scrap metal, just to buy a bowl of wontons to fill his stomach!
"Gugu!" Master Zibai touched his belly and watched a little black cat tiptoeing past in the distance, carrying a bowl of wontons.
Master Zibai shed a tear of pain.
He recalled a sentence written in a book he saw on the roadside a few days ago - poverty is a personality disorder!
The author has something to say: Poverty is a personality disorder. - Zeng Qifeng
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