Bai Ying, worried that one bowl wouldn't be enough for Xu Zhi, poured her another. Xu Zhi took it and took a small sip. The honey water, which had just tasted like nectar, no longer amazed her. She drank two sips and then stopped.
Seeing that Xu Zhi had stopped drinking, Bai Ying took the bowl and put it aside, saying to Xu Zhi, "I'll tell the kitchen to make you some food."
Xu Zhi stopped her from leaving and asked, "What time is it now?"
Bai Ying said it was almost noon. Xu Zhi calculated in her mind that she had slept for six or seven hours. She felt much more relaxed mentally, but her body was still sore and aching.
After Bai Ying called Bai Shu over to examine Xu Zhi, she said to Xu Zhi, "Miss, let's continue taking the medicine you were prescribed. If you can get out of bed, let's take a walk around the room. It's not good to always be lying down like this."
Xu Zhi could only get out of bed and wander around for a couple of laps while holding onto the edge of the bed, when Xu Bai rushed over in a hurry.
Seeing that his sister was able to get out of bed and move around, Xu Bai finally felt relieved. He put the things he was carrying on the table and said to Bai Ying, "Sister Bai Ying, these are some wild vegetables that A Yuan and I found outside the city. You can ask Sister Zhao to make some wild vegetable porridge for your sister later."
When Xu Zhi heard Xu Bai say that he had gone outside the city, her expression immediately changed. She grabbed Xu Bai's hand and said sternly, "Weren't you not allowed to leave the city?"
Xu Bai comforted her, "Oh, my sister, it wasn't just the two of us who went out alone. The government's disaster relief grain arrived, and we went with my brother-in-law. There were so many people there. While they were handing over the grain, we found some by the roadside. We showed it to our uncle, who said it was all edible and tasted pretty good."
Xu Zhi was relieved. When she heard that Zheng Boyuan had gone outside the city to collect the disaster relief grain, she asked Xu Bai, "Is there a lot of grain and silver in the disaster relief grain this time?"
Xu Bai nodded and said, "There's quite a lot. I heard my brother-in-law and Lord Feng say that it's probably because they just dealt with Chu Huaigui and the others. This time, no one dares to touch either grain or silver. The Ministry of Revenue directly allocated the funds, and the Emperor even sent the Imperial Guards to escort them from the capital. With this kind of force, anyone who tries to take advantage of the silver and grain will be considered a big shot."
Seeing Xu Bai's old-fashioned manner, Xu Zhi couldn't help but laugh. Xu Bai sat on a stool in front of the bed and said, "Sister, the more you have something on your mind that you can't tell your brother-in-law, the more you should tell me. Even if I can't give you any good advice, can't I just be your trash can? You have to keep it all inside, and it's caused you to get such a serious illness. It's a good thing our parents aren't here. If they were, they would be heartbroken."
Xu Zhi quickly said to Xu Bai, "Please don't tell our parents. It was my fault for being so thoughtless. I won't do it again."
Xu Bai nodded and said, "Hey, that's right. You have to learn to ask for help. Nobody is omnipotent and can't do everything perfectly on their own. If you feel like you can't do it, just ask someone for help. It's not that difficult."
Xu Zhi smiled wryly. Sometimes, she was actually very reluctant to give up her career. After all, she had built it up bit by bit with the people around her, just like watching her own child grow up. The joy and satisfaction she felt were enough to make her proud.
Forced to give up those things felt like abandoning her own child. Xu Zhi felt an unspeakable pain in her heart, yet she couldn't confide in anyone, not even mention it. This wasn't just to put Zheng Boyuan at ease, but also because it was a promise Xu Zhi made to Emperor Liang Cheng. She used this method to convince Emperor Liang Cheng of Zheng Boyuan's innocence, since no one could presume to know the emperor's thoughts.
Xu Zhi could endure being busy during the day, but at night, when everything was quiet, she couldn't help but think about it, and her heart was tormented. This illness came on suddenly, largely because Xu Zhi couldn't let go of it.
Xu Zhi was someone who didn't want to trouble others, so she kept these things to herself and never told anyone. Everyone just thought that she had fallen ill because she had too many things to do and was too busy lately. In fact, she knew very well that the so-called "heart fire" was because of her reluctance to let go.
Xu Zhi actually regretted it quite a bit. When her older brother was in Miaozhou, she should have discussed this issue with him properly and seen what his opinion was. Xu Zhi now felt that she couldn't handle staying in the backyard all day, managing the household chores. She had already seen the scenery outside, and the scenery outside made her feel happy and gave her a great sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. Asking her to come back from outside and just guard this small, square world again was something Xu Zhi felt she couldn't bear.
Xu Zhi opened her mouth, almost blurting it out in front of Xu Bai, but managed to swallow the words back. She didn't think Xu Bai could offer her much value. It wasn't that Xu Bai was bad, but rather that his current position and limited perspective prevented him from giving her sister any valuable advice.
Xu Di is the most suitable person. His position, and most importantly, his vision and breadth of mind, allow him to have a relatively accurate grasp of the current situation in Daliang and give Xu Zhi some very useful advice.
Unfortunately, Xu Di had already returned to Dengzhou, but Xu Zhi wanted to write him a letter. She decided to stop hiding her feelings and share her experiences with him, asking for his advice. Xu Zhi was a very rational person, and she knew exactly what she wanted.
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