Chapter 29 Atonement.
"Second Miss." The call was answered quickly on the other end; the Gu family's medical center was always on call almost 24 hours a day.
"Get me a psychologist."
"Okay." The other end of the line quickly switched the call, and a middle-aged woman's voice replaced it.
Wealthy families have always placed great importance on the physical and mental health of their members, as this is related to the family image, decision-making, and even inheritance. Therefore, each member of the Gu family is equipped with their own general practitioner, and the psychologist opposite is Gu Sui's.
"Second Miss, is there a problem?" The psychologist seemed a little surprised by the phone call. Strictly speaking, apart from the regular, rough psychological assessments, Gu Sui had never really needed her help.
"I want to confirm some things." Gu Sui stood by the bed with a serious expression, answering the phone with one hand and putting the other hand on his hip.
"Please go ahead." The psychologist took the tablet and waited for the other person's questions.
Gu Sui took a breath: "Being frequently awakened by nightmares, could it be a symptom of mild anxiety?"
The psychologist paused for a moment and then asked, "When you say 'frequently,' how often do you mean it happens?"
When it was Gu Sui's turn to be silent, she opened her mouth and said, "I'm not quite sure about that."
Judging from Gu Sui's tone, the psychologist realized that the other person was not describing her own symptoms. She breathed a slight sigh of relief and then explained professionally, "If nightmares only occur occasionally, we usually consider attributing them to stress-induced stress response or mild anxiety."
Considering that Shang Shu's reason was the company, it did seem quite reasonable.
"Continue." Gu Sui held his breath, still not completely at ease.
"However, if nightmares occur frequently and are accompanied by symptoms of autonomic nervous system activation such as waking up at night, sweating, and rapid heart rate, it is necessary to assess whether there is a possible sleep disorder, such as nightmare disorder or night terrors."
The psychologist paused and added, "In addition, if the nightmare content is related to past traumatic events or significant psychological stress, or frequently involves the same person, then the possibility of trauma-related stress response, namely post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, should also be considered."
boom.
Gu Sui's mind went completely blank.
The psychologist's every word was like a sharp blade, slowly cutting into her skin from the tip, dissecting every inch of her flesh, severing every nerve, and finally piercing straight into her heart.
She slumped onto the bed, feeling as if she had fallen into an icy river, her limbs numb and floating, her mind so foggy that she couldn't utter a single word.
In those nightmares, there was her, that bottle of "Vitamin C," Lin Lang's words during the Scarlet Night, her habit of smoking, and that marigold flower—it all seemed to come together as a whole.
She should have thought of that sooner.
How could she... how could she be so easily fooled?
"Second Miss... are you still listening?" came a cautious inquiry from the other end of the phone.
"Mmm," Gu Sui replied with difficulty.
"Of course, the above are most of the possibilities I have listed. As for the specific situation, it varies from person to person and further evaluation is needed to determine whether intervention and treatment are necessary."
"I understand." Gu Sui's throat was dry, and he quickly hung up the phone.
Her phone slipped from her hand and disappeared. She sat on the edge of the bed, repeatedly telling herself that it was all just her imagination, that she was just being paranoid.
As she thought about it, her shoulders began to tremble uncontrollably. She covered her eyes with her hands, but tears kept seeping through her fingers.
That unwavering choice wavered; that choice she had considered countless times and remained certain of still wavered uncontrollably at this moment.
Gu Sui looked up at the white ceiling.
What exactly did I bring to her?
Her Ah Shu, the Ah Shu she cherished in the palm of her hand, so bright and carefree, so wonderful, how could she have to endure such pain?
She chose to be alone, she endured everything, she accepted the worst outcome with equanimity, and she was willing to bear all the hatred in this life after the catastrophe.
But... when what she thought was protection turned out to be a more severe injury than she imagined, should she really come back?
If she died in that autumn three years ago, if she hadn't come back, would her Ah Shu have already started a new life, found someone who loves her more than herself, and have a happy family?
Ah Shu is right. She really has no right to ask others to stand still and wait for her. Now, she even feels that she is not worthy to stand by her side anymore.
How ironic, selfish, and arrogant his own words on the yacht were.
What she should have done was never to confess her feelings, but to atone for her sins.
*
Because she took a nap yesterday afternoon and then slept in again last night, Shang Shu, who usually loves to sleep in, woke up unusually early.
She sighed at having missed another chance to sleep in, then picked up her phone and looked at it, her eyes and fingers seemingly drawn to the chat box on their own.
No new messages.
She didn't look back at Sui yesterday, and the other party didn't respond again. She pretended not to care, turned her phone upside down, and then went to wash up.
The housekeeper seemed surprised that Miss Shang woke up so early today. Looking at the empty dining table, Shang Shu was too lazy to let the housekeeper bother her, so she simply grabbed a few slices of toast from the refrigerator and started munching on them casually.
As she ate, she browsed through the original statement issued by the public relations department. Looking at the words that were so eloquent and assertive, she shook her head slightly and couldn't help but admire how Guangjing had truly achieved perfection in this regard.
Out of politeness, Shang Shu waited until after breakfast time before arriving at Lin Lang's residence in the morning to keep her appointment with him.
The two had planned to meet outside, but Lin's mother, Ke Ya Hui, repeatedly urged Lin Lang to bring her to the Lin family home, saying she missed her terribly, which led to this whole situation.
Lin Lang met Shang Shu at the door as she got out of the car, and, linking arms with her, asked with a smile, "Ready to receive my mom's enthusiastic baptism?"
Shang Shu was also unusually cheerful. Since losing her mother at the age of six, she had only felt a little maternal love from Ke Ya Hui. Perhaps it was because of the friendship between the Shang and Lin families, or perhaps because the Lin sisters, Lin Cui and Lin Can, had grown up early and she wanted to find a playmate of similar age for Lin Lang. In any case, Ke Ya Hui treated her with all her heart, and Lin Lang often jokingly referred to her as the fourth daughter of the Lin family.
Not only was there a family bond between their ancestors, but Ke Ya Hui also had a good relationship with He Landai when she was alive. Therefore, she looked down on Feng Yuan later, but she didn't say much because of their friendship, and she didn't have much contact with the mother and her two daughters.
In Macau, apart from the legal wife, the wealthy families seem to tacitly agree on keeping concubines. Feng Yuan is one such example. When Shang Shu was three years old, she gave birth to twins as the second wife, which indirectly led to the breakdown of He Landai and Shang Wei's marriage. Later, after He Landai's death, she successfully took over and became the rightful mistress of the Shang family.
Besides her disdain for Feng Yuan's rise to power as a mistress, Ke Ya Hui also disapproved of her open and covert attacks on Shang Shu. As a result, she became even more disgusted with this person and also resented Shang Wei's inaction. However, all she could do was to take extra care of Shang Shu, this "orphan girl".
Shang Shu was naturally grateful to Ke Ya Hui, and even to the entire Lin family, after all, they were the ones who lit a spark in the darkness for her, allowing her to survive the cold winter and usher in a new life.
"Aunt Hui." Shang Shu stepped into the Lin family's gate and called out sweetly to the woman on the sofa.
"Xiao Shu is here, come and sit down." Just as Lin Lang expected, Ke Ya Hui kept talking to Shang Shu from the moment she saw her, asking her how she was doing.
"Manman is really something, she never thought to take you home to visit more often." Ke Ya Hui said reproachfully, holding Shang Shu's hand, which made Lin Lang roll his eyes.
Shang Shu was also a little embarrassed. After all, the last time she had come back to see Ke Ya Hui properly was when she had just returned to the country. At that time, Ke Ya Hui burst into tears the moment she saw her. If she were to come back again, she would probably recover before seeing people, so as not to frighten the people who loved her for no reason.
Shang Shu squeezed Ke Ya Hui's hand back and smiled gently, "It's my fault. I've been so busy. I should have come back to see you more often."
Speaking of this, Ke Ya Hui's smile widened, and she was very satisfied with the little girl in front of her: "I know, it's good to be busy, our Xiao Shu is really amazing." After saying that, she glanced at Lin Lang, who was doing nothing, and said, "If Manman were half as successful as you, I wouldn't have to worry."
Shang Shu also glanced at Lin Lang, unable to hide her smile.
In fact, she knew that Ke Ya Hui doted on Lin Lang, her youngest daughter, the most and was reluctant to let her study abroad like she had let her two older sisters. Fortunately, Lin Lang wasn't interested in studying abroad, so she obediently studied sociology at the University of Macau near her home. She was intelligent, beautiful, rich, and had plenty of free time. Her two older sisters were managing the family business, and she only occasionally wrote novels for her own enjoyment, living a carefree and comfortable life.
Lin Lang pouted. It seemed that she had ranked Shang Shu wrong; she should have been ranked fourth.
Ke Ya Hui stroked Shang Shu's hand: "Shu is still too thin. I often tell Manman, all the little girls are so thin now, how can this be?" As she spoke, Ke Ya Hui began to choke up again, "I remember when you were little, you were so thin and small, like a kitten, and even after you came back to China..."
"Oh, alright, Mom, why bring up these sad things again? Xiao Shu is right here, isn't she? We can just make her eat a few more bowls of rice later." Lin Lang quickly interrupted and reversed the situation when she saw things were getting out of hand.
"Yes, Aunt Hui, I must try the Lin family chef's cooking later." Shang Shu quickly reassured her, as she couldn't stand seeing others like this.
Ke Ya Hui wiped away her tears and smiled through her tears: "Okay, I'll have them make more delicious food."
Then, as if she had thought of something, she quickly snapped out of her sorrow, looked at Shang Shu with a smile, and asked the question that all the elders were curious about: "Shu and Manman are the same age, so you're twenty-five this year, right? Do you have someone you like? Share with Aunt Hui."
Lin Lang was the first to come to the rescue: "Mom, you're so gossipy."
"Just asking. Xiao Shu is so outstanding, she must have tons of suitors. Unlike you, you'd be forgotten if you threw yourself out there." After criticizing her own daughter, Ke Ya Hui turned her attention to Shang Shu.
"No, no, Manman is very popular too." Shang Shu quickly tried to save face for her, but dared not say more. If Ke Ya Hui knew that the men pursuing Lin Lang could stretch from Macau to France, she would definitely complain that she was picky.
Ke Ya Hui smiled and continued, "What I mean is that you shouldn't rush things. Keep your eyes open and take it slow. Whether you're dating a girl or a boy, family background and good character are the most important things."
Upon hearing this, Shang Shu looked at Lin Lang with some surprise. She hadn't expected that there would be such an open-minded elder as Ke Ya Hui in the old wealthy family of Macau.
Lin Lang understood and raised her eyebrows with a hint of smugness, after all, she had heard Ke Ya Hui say these words thousands of times.
After chatting for a few more minutes, Ke Ya Hui finally let go of Shang Shu's hand. She knew that today was, after all, an invitation from two young girls, and it wouldn't be right for an old woman like her to linger. "Alright, you and Manman go upstairs to play. Come down for lunch later."
After exchanging a few words, Lin Lang pulled Shang Shu upstairs and back to his room.
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