Chapter 46. Let's never see each other again. ...
The kiss ended, but their intertwined breaths still lingered in the air. Shang Shu was panting as her arm slowly slid down.
"A-Shu..." Gu Sui reached out and wiped away the tears that had not yet dried from the corners of her eyes, calling her name softly.
She gazed at Shang Shu's flushed cheeks and moist eyes: "So... does this mean you've agreed to be with me?"
Shang Shu bit her lower lip tightly until the deep teeth marks were about to break through her flesh before she finally stopped. She lowered her eyes and forced a sweet smile.
"Gu Sui, let's not see each other again."
The agave-like sunset instantly turned into a pitch-black night, with no moonlight, no stars, and a darkness so deep you couldn't see your hand in front of your face.
"What...what do you mean by that?" Gu Sui's voice trembled violently, as if he had fallen from the clouds into an abyss.
"The literal meaning." Shang Shu took a half step back, her steps somewhat unsteady.
"I thought my response would prompt you to speak, but it seems you have no intention of doing so."
She moved her lips, her voice as soft as a feather.
"On the night of my sixth birthday, I asked my mother where she was going. She didn't answer. The next morning, I was greeted by her cold body... A few months later, I asked Shang Wei why he couldn't go with me to see my mother. He didn't answer either. After that... my home was no longer my home."
Shang Shu laughed self-deprecatingly, and another tear fell.
Gu Sui wanted to reach out and touch the person's face again to wipe away Shang Shu's tears, but was stopped in mid-air by the other party.
"You see, I actually knew all along that I couldn't get an answer from someone who didn't want to talk, but I just refused to believe it."
Shang Shu took a deep breath and stared at the gleaming marble floor.
“I don’t know why you left back then, why you’re back now, where you’ve been for the past three years, whether you have a new partner, whether you’ve kissed or slept with other people… I don’t ask because I think if you want to tell me, I will definitely know, but if you don’t want to tell me, then no matter how much I ask, it’s useless.”
"But because it's you, I held onto a sliver of hope. I fantasized, I gambled that you would give me an answer. But I'm really tired, Gu Sui. I don't want to ask anymore."
Shang Shu gently shook her head, and with each shake, the world swayed, like sitting on an upside-down roller coaster, like drowning in a salty deep sea.
“A-Shu…I…” Gu Sui’s jaw trembled. She opened her mouth, but could not utter another word.
"Let it go, Gu Sui, we..." Shang Shu choked up.
"Let's meet again when you're willing to speak up."
After saying that, she looked deeply into Gu Sui's sorrowful eyes, then turned and left.
Gu Sui stood frozen in place, her legs feeling like they were filled with lead. Her back slammed against the wall, her chest throbbing from the impact. Her body slowly slid to the ground, her fingers digging into her hair, as if all the strength in her body had been drained away.
Like a fish stranded on a beach, enveloped in scorching sand and baked by the blazing sun, the intense heat causing her gills to stick together, she almost forgot how to breathe.
Her stomach ached slightly. She gripped the wall with her fingertips and stood up, taking small steps towards the outside while holding onto the wall. The surroundings began to commotion, and more and more people gradually appeared.
"Miss, do you need any help?" The waiter noticed her unusual behavior and kindly stepped forward to ask.
Gu Sui shook her head, walked to a corner and dialed the housekeeper's number. She knew that she would definitely cause an accident if she drove in this state, and she... still had to live.
*
Shang Shu stood on the balcony of Yijing Bay, expressionless as the cold wind blew through her.
Shang Wei still had some conscience left. After He Landai left, he registered all the properties she left behind under Shang Shu's name, including Yijing Bay.
Shang Shu liked this balcony; it was so big that it could hold all her pain.
Once abandoned, once actively pushed away.
The degree of injury from either of them was no different for her.
So she thought she should be here crying her eyes out or smashing bottles in a hysterical outburst, but in fact she was calmer than ever before.
She was all too familiar with this feeling, so familiar that she was almost disoriented, because she had gone through the same phase three years ago.
Freeze.
"When the brain senses an extreme threat, it activates the sympathetic nervous system and secretes large amounts of adrenaline and cortisol. In this state, the body is more inclined to prioritize survival, and the brain will automatically activate the numbing mechanism to temporarily block the outburst of emotions in order to avoid being overwhelmed by the mental pressure."
This is a theory that Liang Wanzhi explained to her.
She then thought of Liang Wanzhi's insightful words, which could now be described as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She still lost her.
Only she knew that the question wasn't her last gamble; it was her turning away at parting that was.
Unfortunately, she lost her gamble again. This time, no one held her hand, and no one said a word to stop her.
She deserved it for being a gambler.
The cold wind sobered her up, and her plan to sleep while still drunk was thwarted. Shang Shu pulled out a pack of unopened cigarettes, took one out, and stared at the lit flame in the darkness. She didn't take many puffs, just quietly waited for it to burn out in her hand.
She thought that if it weren't for the chance encounter, she would be like this now. Perhaps everything that had happened during this time was just a dream arranged for her by God.
It's fine.
Life without Gu Sui is just the same.
She survived three years, so she can definitely do it this time too.
The next day, Shang Shu slept soundly in the big bed until she woke up naturally. She had no nightmares, or rather, she didn't dream at all. She wasn't exactly feeling refreshed, but it was still considered top-notch in her sleep standards.
She glanced at her phone; there were no calls, no messages.
Song Lan arrived early and prepared a dress for Shang Shu to wear to the jewelry exhibition thank-you banquet that afternoon.
Having drunk too much last night, Shang Shu asked the housekeeper to cook some simple porridge and invited Song Lan to have lunch with her.
"Did you give her the address yesterday?" Shang Shu stirred the porridge in her bowl and asked calmly.
"What?" Song Lan was also stunned by the question. Because she had drunk too much while covering for Shang Shu at a social event a few days ago, Shang Shu felt sorry for her subordinate and didn't let her go to any more drinking parties.
She frantically searched her memory, trying to find information containing the keywords "yesterday," "she," and "address," but ultimately failed.
But she knew that "she" was none other than Gu Sui, and combined with Shang Shu's almost "crazy" work behavior these days, she guessed that something bad must have happened between the two of them.
Seeing that the person seemed unaware, Shang Shu took a sip of porridge and said, "It's nothing."
Actually, she didn't know what the point of asking at this time was, but she just blurted it out naturally. However, she was quite at ease about it, since quitting always takes time.
This time it was Song Lan's turn to ask a question, but she maintained her proper boundaries and tried to shut herself up with porridge.
Shang Shu was familiar with this hesitant look. She put down her spoon and wiped her mouth: "You don't need to tell me about her."
The implication is that you should think carefully before sharing my information.
"Okay." Song Lan could tell from their expressions that they were arguing. She silently shed tears in her heart. She had only been away from them for a few days, how could they have started arguing?
Shang Shu finished her lunch "calmly," tidied herself up, and then went to the thank-you banquet with Song Lan.
The event, ostensibly a thank-you banquet, was actually more of a networking event leveraging the afterglow of the jewelry exhibition for the organizers, exhibitors, VIP clients, and media.
Ji Nan and Ji Songning walked over from a short distance away. Shang Shu raised her champagne glass and smiled, "Director Ji, congratulations."
A successful exhibition can not only enhance the museum's reputation, but for the museum director Ji Nan, it is also an accumulation of professional reputation, industry resources, and future opportunities.
Ji Nan beamed: "Congratulations, President Shang." Then she glanced at Ji Songning beside her, "I heard from Sonia that you two have such a past connection. I also want to thank President Shang for taking care of Sonia during this time."
Shang Shu smiled and said, "Director Ji, you flatter me. It's not about taking care of me; it's just a pleasant collaboration."
Ji Songning smiled generously and pulled Shang Shu away from the pleasantries, saying, "Mom, let's go chat over there."
Ji Nan naturally had no objections.
The two arrived at a quiet corner, and Ji Songning smiled and said, "Senior, you must have been very busy these past few days, right?"
Since their last meal together, when they opened up to each other and decided to be friends, they haven't had much of a chance to see each other. Ji Songning has been busy running around at the exhibition these past few days, while Shang Shu is on a different "battlefield" than her. So, she has only caught a few fleeting glimpses of Shang Shu. Let alone chatting, the two haven't even exchanged greetings.
"Yes, I'm severely weakened." Shang Shu chuckled and took a sip of her wine.
However, what she said was indeed the truth. She was severely exhausted, both physically and mentally. She was currently just barely holding on to her body, and she seriously planned to take a good rest after this was over.
"How's it going? Everything's going smoothly on your end?" Shang Shu recalled Ji Nan's pleasant expression earlier, so she assumed everything was going well.
Ji Songning hesitated for a moment, seemingly unsure of what to say next: "There was nothing wrong at the exhibition, it's just..."
"What?" Shang Shu rarely saw someone so hesitant, so she couldn't help but be curious.
Ji Songning swirled his wine glass: "Yesterday... I ran into Shang Zhiyi at the Venetian."
Upon hearing this, Shang Shu raised an eyebrow, somewhat surprised, yet finding it somewhat reasonable. After all, she knew that Shang Zhiyi was there yesterday, but she hadn't expected that Ji Songning would also happen to be there.
Recalling their past and Shang Zhiyi's appearance, Shang Shu couldn't help but ask, "She didn't make things difficult for you, did she?"
Ji Songning smiled and said, "She didn't recognize me."
Upon hearing this, Shang Shu inexplicably breathed a sigh of relief.
“I thought I would be scared when I saw her again, or that we would have a heated argument, but no, she didn’t recognize me, and I didn’t seem to have much of a reaction to her… Senior, isn’t that amazing?” Ji Songning’s tone was indifferent, revealing no particular emotion.
Shang Shu put her wine glass aside and remained silent for a long time before speaking earnestly: "Sonia, seeing you like this makes me really happy." She smiled and said gently, "You didn't punish yourself for other people's mistakes, which is remarkable. You are confident and excellent now, and you will only get better and better in the future."
Seeing that Ji Songning was no longer the little girl who needed her help, Shang Shu was genuinely happy about this growth.
“Thank you…” Ji Songning listened, her expression gradually returning to normal. Suddenly, she remembered something and felt a little reluctant: “By the way… after Christmas, I’ll probably be going back to Canada. There’s a great project opportunity at the Royal Museum there, and I’d like to give it a try.”
Shang Shu nodded in agreement: "That sounds great. You've been studying there, so I feel the museum system there would be more suitable for you than in Macau."
“Yeah, I think so too.” Ji Songning smiled brightly and said with a grin, “Then senior, don’t miss me too much.”
Shang Shu was amused by the humor and joked back, "Don't worry, it won't happen."
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