turbid waves
Life can sometimes feel like a meticulously choreographed play: the curtain rises, one actor takes the stage, another takes the stage, each one drawn by invisible threads toward a predetermined position. However, when one realizes that one might not be the protagonist, but rather a pawn with a clear purpose, the chill that seeps deep into one's bones cannot be alleviated by luxurious material possessions or frivolous power.
Lin Xiaoning felt this chill increasingly clearly. Xu Wu's "reliance" on her had reached an unprecedented level. Many key decisions and external contacts that once fell within Wu Jiaming's purview now fell directly on her shoulders, bypassing the general manager's office. These tasks were often cloaked in the glamorous guise of "strategic cooperation" and "relationship maintenance," but their core was increasingly naked, directly pointing to the exchange of power and interests. She was no longer the engineer proposing technical solutions or the public relations expert shaping the company's image. Instead, she held in Xu Wu's hands a sharp "key" used to overcome specific "levels." The locks this key needed to open were often closely linked to the darker sides of human nature, such as lust and greed.
She tried to tell herself that this was the inevitable price of career advancement, the reality of high-ranking positions. But deep down, a voice poignantly questioned: Was all this predetermined from the moment she stepped foot at Changqing Chemical? Was it her prestigious university diploma and chemistry expertise, or her beauty tinged with wisdom, or perhaps her rather pretty face and her gradually smoothed, adaptable nature? Had the mentor who "promoted" her from a difficult position at the annual meeting already measured the full value she could offer? This doubt, like a thorn, pierced her heart, not fatally, but a constant reminder of the awkwardness and unbearableness of her position. Sometimes she resented her own petty nature, but more often, it was a suffocating feeling, unable to escape.
A special environmental safety inspection focused on the "ultra-clean emissions" standards for a new energy vehicle battery project took this blatant PR approach to extremes. The inspection team was led by a powerful figure, rumored to be impassive. The project required enormous initial investment; if it got stuck in the environmental protection phase, the losses would be immeasurable. Xu Wu personally summoned Lin Xiaoning to his office. Without lengthy instructions, he simply tapped the desk, his gaze sharp as an eagle's. "Xiaoning, this checkpoint must be flawless. I've heard Team Leader Zheng is incredibly upright... You go in person and ensure the 'service' is complete. You decide the method, I only care about the results." His tone was calm, yet carried an undeniable resolve, as if he were giving instructions for a mundane task.
Lin Xiaoning felt nauseous. She first tried sending the PR department's most sociable and attractive representative, armed with a thick stack of "information," to make contact. However, the other party didn't even meet her, simply turning her away with an extremely cold attitude. When the news reached Xu Wu, he simply replied with four words: "Go in person."
At that moment, Lin Xiaoning knew there was no turning back. She dressed meticulously, choosing a suit that was both dignified and subtle, emphasizing her curves. She booked a private room at the city's most exclusive Japanese restaurant, renowned for its privacy. Before her appointment, she stared at herself for a long time in the bathroom mirror. Foundation masked her fatigue, lipstick brightened her complexion, but her eyes were empty and unfocused. She expertly sprayed a little expensive perfume on her wrists and behind her ears. The scent that once brought her joy now smelled like hunting marks.
The banquet unfolded as a tacit game of negotiation. Team Leader Zheng, as rumored, appeared serious and spoke in an official tone, but his gaze, like a brush, scanned Lin Xiaoning's face, neck, and fingers holding her wine glass. Lin Xiaoning summoned all her professionalism, her conversation imbued with a profound understanding of environmental policy, yet also possessed a feminine charm and a touch of flattery. She accompanied him through glass after glass of sake, feeling the alcohol gradually chip away at her rational defenses. The conversation shifted from environmental standards to literature and art, personal hobbies, and the joys of life, and the air in the private room grew ambiguous.
When the other person's hand "inadvertently" rested on the back of her hand, resting on the edge of the table, Lin Xiaoning's body stiffened imperceptibly, but her face maintained an impeccable smile. She didn't pull her hand away, but instead gently shook it back, saying in a slightly coquettish tone, "Boss, you're such a joke! We at Changqing have invested heavily in environmental protection. Please be kind and give us a chance to show off..." What followed was both logical and disgusting. The scene shifted to a more private club, with more intimate contact and a half-hearted entanglement... Lin Xiaoning, like a highly professional actor, precisely controlled the rhythm, satisfying the other person's desire while playing hard to get... but without sacrificing the price of "intimacy."
Every time Xu Wu directly assigned a task that should have been Wu Jiaming's responsibility, Lin Xiaoning would come to report or seek his opinion, only to be met with the excuse, "Boss Lin has his own decision." Wu Jiaming deliberately kept his distance from her... growing further and further away... This former technical mentor now seemed more like a familiar stranger. At the company, they occasionally crossed paths, and Wu Jiaming would simply nod slightly, his eyes complex, filled with deep disappointment and alienation. She had heard that Wu Jiaming and Xu Wu had engaged in heated arguments in several high-level meetings, focusing on the choice of technical route, cost control, reckless expansion, and... the misuse of public relations fees. Wu Jiaming insisted on technology-based development and opposed over-reliance on "connections" and "tactics," while Xu Wu emphasized "results-oriented" and "flexible responses." The rift was already public, unbridgeable.
Financial Director Zhao Qing, on the other hand, seemed to have completely grasped the art of surviving under the new rules. She had become both more silent and more astute. She no longer questioned Lin Xiaoning's department's massive, vaguely titled PR expense reports, but instead efficiently signed them off. She would only casually remind him of certain particularly outrageous PR projects, "Mr. Lin, next time, I'd better include a more detailed explanation attachment for this account." She focused on optimizing the company's financial statements, ensuring continued strong performance in the capital market. She also quietly expanded her empire by exploiting information gaps and capital operations. Opposing without confrontation, quietly making fortunes, became her new philosophy.
Just as the environmental inspection controversy seemed to have subsided and the project was moving forward smoothly, a sudden storm swept Lin Xiaoning into the vortex again. Team leader Zheng, who had previously inspected Changqing Chemical, was exposed, and details of Changqing Chemical's public relations were reported to the Discipline Inspection Commission.
Lin Xiaoning sat in the interrogation room again. The scene felt familiar, except the investigators across from her were different, and the atmosphere more serious. This time, she didn't panic, didn't feel helpless, or even overly angry. Her heart was numb and cold. When the investigators asked her about the details of her interactions with the inspection team leader and whether there had been any improper transfers of benefits, she had already prepared a flawless explanation: her bank statements should have been retrieved, and there was no physical bribery. It was a normal business dinner, a discussion of industry policies, and absolutely no illegal behavior. As for the ambiguous contact, she simply explained it as "drunken behavior."
She was remarkably calm, her logic clear, even tinged with a subtle hint of weary arrogance. When the investigators hinted at the possibility of "sexual bribery," she raised her eyes and calmly retorted, her tone even tinged with the coolness of a scholarly inquiry: "Comrade, first of all, there was no coercion between us after we were drunk. Secondly, even if there was, 'sexual bribery' isn't a standalone crime under current Chinese law. It's more of a moral condemnation, or an aggravating circumstance for other crimes (such as bribery). May I ask, on what grounds are you questioning me? If it's simply a moral issue, I believe I have the right to remain silent. Furthermore, the total expenses that night didn't exceed 3,000 yuan, which doesn't qualify as bribery." Her words sounded less like a defense than a desperate self-deprecation and provocation. She even wondered if professional prostitutes, after repeatedly selling their bodies, also go through a similar psychological process—from initial shame, to numbness in the middle, and finally a cold scrutiny of that numbness itself?
Since there was no direct evidence of financial transactions, and the so-called "sexual bribery" was difficult to precisely define legally, the interrogation lasted several hours before Lin Xiaoning was allowed to leave. As she exited the fortified gate, the setting sun glared blindingly. She felt no more the restraint and trepidation she had felt at the Public Security Bureau than a sense of boundless desolation. She seemed to hear something deep within her heart shatter completely, and then a dead silence descended.
The news spread like a virus within the company. Although there was no clear conclusion, the fact that "Vice President Lin was summoned by the Discipline Inspection Commission for a talk" was explosive news in itself. When she returned to the company again, she could clearly feel the strange looks from all directions, as if everyone had watched her and Team Leader Zheng's sexual performance. There was curiosity, gloating, and even undisguised contempt. The subordinates and colleagues who used to surround her and flatter her were now mostly keeping their distance. Su Qing could hardly hide the sneer of a winner on the corner of her mouth. She tried to return to the technical department, even if it was just to avoid the limelight temporarily, but found that there was no place for her there. Wu Jiaming's team closed the door to her, and the technical field she excelled in became unfamiliar due to her long absence. Leaving the company seemed to be the only decent option to escape the current predicament.
Just as she was feeling disheartened and starting to draft her resignation letter, Xu Wu found her again. This time, he met her at the terrace cafe on the top floor of the company, with the dazzling night view of the city in the background, as if declaring that he was still in control of everything.
"Xiao Ning, I'm sorry for the injustice." Xu Wu personally poured her a glass of red wine, his tone soothing. "A tall tree attracts the wind, it's inevitable. I've already communicated with the higher-ups, and the matter is over." He changed the subject, his eyes revealing a new ambition, "Evergreen's plan can't be limited to the chemical industry. I recently attracted new strategic investment, and our entry into the new energy vehicle battery field has begun. This is the next trillion-dollar opportunity!"
He paused, his gaze blazing at Lin Xiaoning. "As for you, I know the PR line is tough and has drawn a lot of controversy. It's time to change tack." He offered a tempting proposal. "I plan to allocate separate funds to establish a film and television culture company, with you in charge. Publicly, you can produce positive works that reflect the achievements of modern industry and demonstrate corporate social responsibility, thus safeguarding the company's image. Privately, this will also be an excellent platform for capital operation and resource integration. The investment will be one billion yuan, with an initial 200 million yuan to start with, and additional funds will be added later depending on the results. You decide the content and the cast, based entirely on your interests. I believe in your abilities."
One billion! A film and television company! Full responsibility! According to her own interests! These words, like a beam of bright light, instantly illuminated Lin Xiaoning's gloomy mind. Although her mind warned her that this might be a bigger trap, her exhausted spirit and her heart, repeatedly ravaged by reality, yearned for a breath of fresh air, a glimmer of "independence" and "respectability," and it throbbed involuntarily. It seemed like a shortcut to escape the current mire, to a seemingly more glamorous world, more in line with her deep-seated yearning for "culture" and "creativity." She could almost imagine the illusive vision of escaping those shady deals and controlling a creative empire. Faced with such a huge temptation, her doubts and anxieties were temporarily suppressed. Her heart was moved, and she nodded gently.
Lin Xiaoning rented an entire floor of a high-end office building in the new district and established a new company without even having to see all the original owners...
Just as she was busy preparing for her new company, trying to numb herself with new hope, one ordinary afternoon, she received an EMS package. The sender's address was the law school of the university where Zhao Xianqi taught. She opened it with some confusion. Inside, there was nothing extra, just a thick letter.
Unfolding the letter, she saw Zhao Xianqi's familiar yet slightly trembling handwriting. The opening address made her heart sink:
"My dear friend Xiao Ning, I am glad to see you in person."
At the beginning of the letter, he calmly explored, as usual, a question of legal philosophy: the eternal tension between "procedural justice" and "substantive justice." But his tone quickly shifted, becoming unusually gentle yet...resolute.
"By the time you read this letter, I'll probably be gone. I've been diagnosed with lung cancer for some time now, and it's in the late stages. Don't be sad, this is the ending I chose. I don't want my miserable deathbed and undignified struggle to be the last image in your memory. Remember the 'dignity' we discussed? I hope that in your heart, I will always be the Zhao Xianqi with whom you could discuss law, life, and even...share a brief moment of warmth, rather than a withered old man whose dignity has been drained by illness."
"Life, to me, is like an autumn leaf; it's better to wither quietly and beautifully than to shiver in the cold wind. I've chosen hospice care, and I'll die peacefully. Some roads can only be walked alone. Meeting you is an unexpected gift in my later years, allowing me to enjoy a moment of warmth and understanding in my loneliness. I'm deeply grateful."
"You are in the turbulent waters of life, where temptations and traps coexist. Establishing a film and television company may seem like a new path, but the world of capital is turbulent and turbulent, even more so than in the chemical industry. Remember, never completely surrender the power to define yourself. No matter what you choose, you must remain clear-headed and retain a part of your true self, even if it's hidden in the deepest places. The heart of a cabbage may be small, but it is the core of life. No matter how filthy the leaves are, they cannot conceal its inherent sweetness. Protect it."
"Don't miss me, don't search for me. I hope you can find inner peace and true freedom in the years to come. Take care."
The letter slipped from Lin Xiaoning's trembling hands and fluttered to the ground. She didn't cry or shout, but simply sat there blankly, her soul drained out of her. The sun shone brightly outside. In her office, the blueprints for her new film and television company lay spread out on the table. A dream of 100 million yuan had just begun, and yet the person who had provided her only true comfort and profound guidance in her darkest hour had quietly departed. She wasn't even given a chance to say goodbye or cry.
It had been only three months since he'd last returned from the mountains. His occasional coughs, the subtle movements of him massaging his chest... they had all been signs. But he said nothing, choosing to walk quietly to the end, alone. With this long letter, he conveyed his final farewell and instructions.
A crushing sadness, like a belated tsunami, completely drowned her, yet she felt so empty that not a single tear could flow. She didn't know what to cry for: for his departure? For his good intentions? Or for her own absurd and hopeless life, where she seemed to have it all, yet in reality, she was constantly losing everything, with even the last trace of true connection completely severed?
She slowly squatted down, picked up the letter, and clutched it tightly to her chest, as if she could still feel a final, distant warmth. What would the future hold? That seemingly glamorous dream of a film and television company now seemed so illusory and fleeting in the face of life and death. She didn't even know if she had the strength to face the turbulent waters that were destined to become even more turbulent.
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