Yang Sisi specifically hired someone to keep an eye on me, and then took two other women, whom she wasn't very familiar with but who were also called friends, to the barbecue stall across the street...
Before long, the large table made up of two small tables was filled with beer and all kinds of kebabs, but my heart was not at all in this bright and bustling scene... I wanted to get more inspiration from Coach Ma that transcended the mundane world, and then get rid of the pain that was like a nightmare and was about to devour me.
During this period, I longed for the light of Buddha, for holiness, and for a new world free from sorrow and joy.
...
After forcing myself to stay in this chaotic environment for an hour, I received another message from Coach Ma. He told me that he was waiting for me at a noodle shop near Renmin Road that only served vegetarian noodles...
In Dali, because there are many Buddhists, there are many vegetarian restaurants and noodle shops that are hard to find in other cities... Especially in the relatively quiet alley near Renmin Road, Buddhist activities have been turned into an industry. They not only sell vegetarian food but also incense. Some temples have even set up branches here, so that while helping all sentient beings, they can also make some money from incense offerings.
After visiting a few times, this place became my and Coach Ma's favorite place to exchange ideas and learn from each other. We would eat vegetarian food while listening to Buddhist chants, and then evolve our spiritual realm through discussions centered on "Buddha".
I do find enjoyment in it... which makes me even more disgusted with the bright lights and the crazy butts of people wiggling to release their hormones.
...
After replying to Coach Ma's message, I discreetly put my phone back in my pocket and waited for a good opportunity to leave.
I knew some of them were already drunk. If I waited until Yang Sisi went to the restroom, then no one would care about me anymore, and I could leave without anyone noticing.
Because I was concerned about when Yang Sisi would go to the bathroom, I would glance at her every now and then. This seemed to alert Yang Sisi, because after waiting for a long time, she didn't even move.
Judging by the time, another hour had passed since Coach Ma sent me the message...
I couldn't hold back any longer, so I told Yang Sisi I needed to go to the restroom. To avoid arousing Yang Sisi's suspicion, I even left my backpack, which I always carry with me, at the drinking location, to create the illusion that I would return.
...
After leaving the bar, I felt a sense of relief. I breathed in the air, which was completely different from inside the bar, and walked quickly toward the street... I wanted to see Coach Ma as soon as possible. I loved listening to him talk to me about cause and effect between people... and then to find out if Ye Zhi was still alive in this world.
To others, I might seem to have gone mad, but for me, there's no other way... I feel that I can only have a faint connection with her in the world of cause and effect; otherwise, I'm in agony...
...
Just as I was about to enter the alley, my clothes were suddenly tugged at from behind, and then I heard Yang Sisi's questioning voice: "Is Coach Ma waiting for you inside?"
I turned to look at her, and of course, I didn't want to admit it. I replied, "No, it was too stuffy in the bar, I wanted to come out for some fresh air..."
"You want to get some fresh air, right... I also want to get some fresh air, I'll go with you."
Yang Sisi seemed to be really determined to compete with me, so much so that in the following period of time, wherever I went, she followed... always keeping a step or two's distance from me, and then walking with me through half of the ancient city.
I finally lost my temper and said to her in a particularly cold voice, "Can you stop looking at me like I'm a prisoner... So what if I'm going to find Coach Ma?... Do you know that only with him can I find a way out?... Only with him can I believe that Ye Zhi is still alive... I don't want to wait indefinitely like this, do you even know that?"
Yang Sisi's eyes were filled with tears, and then she looked at me with a particularly complicated gaze. I was breathing heavily, and I couldn't stand the space she gave me anymore... I felt like I was living like a reptile with no autonomy in this space.
In the ancient city, under the flickering lights, she finally choked up and said to me, "Do you even know... that while you're waiting for someone else, there's someone else waiting for you with great difficulty... The difference is, you're waiting for a living corpse, while the person waiting for you is waiting for your heart... That's the hardest, the most difficult thing!" To chat with more like-minded people about "My Tenant Miss," follow "or" on WeChat to discuss your favorite books with other book lovers.
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