After a while in a terrifying atmosphere, we heard someone downstairs open a window and then use extremely offensive language to curse the woman who was crying in the square... At this point, the truth came out: what Yang Sisi and I encountered was not a supernatural event, but someone was genuinely heartbroken.
Yang Sisi said to me with great sorrow, "She's lost her husband, she must be devastated... How could they still be cursing her like that!"
"In this world, who can truly understand another person's pain... When we don't have the ability to change others, let's just be the best version of ourselves."
"But those people were using such awful language. Tell them to stop... I really can't stand it."
I really didn't want to get involved in this, but the people downstairs were hurling increasingly offensive insults... After a sigh, I sat up in bed and picked up my cane from beside the bed. Just as I was about to get up, Yang Sisi pulled me back and said, "Forget it, you'd better not go... Anyone who curses like that is definitely not a good person... If you can't stop them and they start fighting, how could you possibly beat them in your current state!"
Yang Sisi's calmness at this moment surprised me quite a bit, so much so that I was stunned for a moment before replying, "It's okay, I won't argue with him, I'll see what's going on first."
Yang Sisi and I walked to the window together. Before we opened the window, the man had stopped cursing... and the woman's crying gradually subsided... Looking down, we saw that the woman had been escorted to the hospital gate by security guards. Although she was still crying, we could no longer hear any noise from our side.
...
After this incident, Yang Sisi didn't insist on sleeping in the same bed with me anymore. She just moved another hospital bed closer to me and curled up on it.
I quite like this distance; it's not too close, nor too far... but enough space for me to calmly handle my relationship with Yang Sisi.
After lying there for a while, Yang Sisi asked me with some emotion, "Michael...we've been through a lot together, haven't we?"
"Hmm... We've already experienced all the wonderful things that other people do in their entire lives."
Yang Sisi smiled, and after a moment of silence, she said to me, "I still remember what you looked like when I first met you... You looked so weathered, like someone from a different generation..."
I chuckled and replied, "You must have been really disappointed... You thought your Uncle Huang would arrange a young, fresh-faced guy for you, but instead you got an older man."
"Of course I'm disappointed! It's a 3,000-kilometer journey from Shanghai to Dali. Who wouldn't want a handsome guy driving them?"
"I was quite handsome when I was young."
"Even if you were incredibly handsome when you were young, it has nothing to do with me... When I met you, you were already old, and now you're even older!"
"Come on, don't talk about me... or else..."
In a few years, you'll join the ranks of the elderly... When that time comes, I'll give you a thermos with goji berries... You can sit in the park, and a bunch of kids will gather around calling you "Grandma!"
Perhaps finding the scene amusing, Yang Sisi laughed heartily. After a moment, her mood noticeably sombered, and she asked me, "An old lady needs an old man by her side to be happy... but from what you're saying, it doesn't seem like that... I'm already so old, and you're still telling me to be single?!"
"That's easy, it's all just fantasy... I'll just imagine a whole bunch of old men for you, all kinds of types, I'm just afraid you'll get overwhelmed and can't handle it... hehe."
"I'm not joking with you."
"What's wrong?"
After a long silence, Yang Sisi asked me with a melancholy look, "Even though we've been through so much together... the person you truly love is still Ye Zhi... right?"
I didn't know how to reply, so Yang Sisi forced a smile and said, "We've never talked like this before... Actually, I'm quite afraid to talk to you about these things... But some things really can't be kept in your heart for too long... I'm afraid they'll change if left unsaid... You can tell me without worry, and I'll hold back and not get angry with you... I swear!"
I subconsciously reached into the cigarette pack, pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and while smoking, I thought about Yang Sisi and Ye Zhi in my mind... I thought about their strengths and weaknesses, and also about the moments that moved me. In fact, this question is really hard to answer... because at this stage, I am more confused than ever before.
I had told myself not to put too much energy into relationships; what I needed more was a reliable career... I had been trying to do that, but on this late night, without realizing it, I still fell into the whirlpool of emotions.
Seeing that I didn't speak, Yang Sisi continued, "If you find it difficult to answer, then let me ask you another way... Can you tell me, since we both met on this trip to Dali, why is the person you love Ye Zhi, but not me?"
I took a deep drag of my cigarette and finally replied, "Perhaps at that stage, I needed a mature and stable woman by my side..."
Is it really that simple?
After a long pause, I shook my head again and replied, "Everything she was born with is like a dream I need to chase... This feeling of chasing might be more appealing than love itself..."
"Hehe... To put it simply, it's more fulfilling to conquer a woman like her... Men are all like that, they don't cherish what's around them, and what they can't get is always the best!"
"I had her."
Yang Sisi paused for a moment before saying, "Do you still fantasize that one day she will come back to you?"
"Yes... but that feeling is fading more and more."
"Why?"
"The dream is about to end..."
...
Yang Sisi seemed to have grasped something from my words, and she didn't ask any more questions... I looked at her by the moonlight, and she had turned to the other side. After a while, she seemed to have fallen asleep.
After a while, I also felt sleepy and then fell asleep to the sound of the wind blowing through the window.
I had a dream. I dreamt that I was walking incredibly fast, weaving through an endless sea of flowers...
In the distance, there are rolling mountains... dotted with giant white windmills...
I ran faster and faster, and each jump covered several meters.
But when I started to think, I had no idea what I was chasing. I wanted to slow down, but I found I couldn't control my legs at all... I couldn't stop. Slowly, everything became nothingness, and I began to feel nothingness too...
(End of this chapter)
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