Chapter 24 Er Feng is quiet, she must be causing trouble
"Your Highness, Prince of Yan, why don't you accept the order immediately?"
At this time, at the celebration banquet at Crown Prince Li Yu's mansion, everyone was happily drinking and playing music to celebrate Li Shimin's great victory.
However, before the third round of drinks had passed, the eunuch Yu Chaoen arrived with an imperial edict. The edict was almost entirely devoted to praising the achievements of Prince Li Shimin of Yan and rewarding him with a large amount of gold, jewelry, and a house.
After hearing this, Li Shimin understood. After all, his new father had the same style as his old father.
Therefore, when Yu Chaoen finally wanted to take back his military power, Li Shimin was not surprised at all.
But the others were feeling depressed. Cheng Qianli, Gao Shi and the others were silent, their faces looking extremely ugly.
As military generals who risked their lives for the Tang Dynasty, they were willing to sacrifice their lives for the country. On the one hand, this was out of their unwavering loyalty to the country, and on the other hand, it was also to be able to be promoted and granted titles in the future based on their military achievements.
Your Majesty is acting like this at this time. He has already started to suspect the Prince of Yan before the war is over. It really makes people feel sad and chilling!
The people who were close to Li Shimin all looked angry, and when Li Yu saw this, he clenched his fists tightly, his eyes full of anxiety and tension.
Originally, he just wanted to hold a simple banquet to welcome his third brother, but last night, his father sent him a secret order -
At the banquet, it was announced that if the Prince of Yan dared to resist, he would be thrown into prison immediately; if his followers resisted on his behalf, they would be killed on the spot.
Li Yu didn't want to do this either, but his father's order was God's will, and he had to obey!
At this moment, he was thinking about how to convince his third brother. But Li Shimin raised his hand and handed over the military order without hesitation, saying with a smile:
"How dare I disobey the Emperor's order?"
Yu Chaoen accepted the military order and saw that Li Shimin looked normal, without any resentment on his face. He nodded with satisfaction and prepared to go back to report to the emperor.
Li Shimin continued to sit back in his original position and invited everyone to drink, as if this matter had no effect on him. But Tianmu was already furious at this time.
[Ah ...
How could there be such a lagging emperor? He's practically comparable to Wanyan Gou! 】
[Today, I suddenly experienced from a first-person perspective how depressed Guo Ziyi, Yue Fei, and others were! ]
[Yes, otherwise, wise rulers would be so rare! Otherwise, the originally favorable situation would have been ruined by Li Longji and Li Heng's manipulation for eight years!]
Speaking of which, Er Feng, aren't you angry? You're so well-mannered?
Li Shimin drank a glass of wine and sighed:
"I'm used to it."
He is no longer the young boy he was when he was the King of Qin. He had experienced this kind of thing several times at the hands of his old father.
At that time, they were still father and son, and blood is thicker than water. It was heartbreaking.
[Ah, I suddenly feel so sorry for our Erfeng! Who said our Erfeng had it easy? She's clearly suffered so much along the way!]
[Thinking that Li Yuan almost told Li Yuanji to kill the King of Qin in front of Xuanwu Gate, it would be better to change the name to Bu Bilian.
So, Erfeng, what are we waiting for? Here comes another Xuanwumen live stream! 】
[That's right! Just tie Li Heng to a boat and let him swim all day! No, just give him a lifebuoy and throw him in the lake to lose weight!]
[??? You're messing with Xuanwumen at this time? You guys treat Erfeng like a Japanese? Are you really treating Erfeng like a hedgehog?]
It’s true that modern people a thousand years later are very cheerful and don’t hide their temperament at all. They are really cute.
Li Shimin nodded and said:
"It would be even better to attack Xuanwu Gate at this time. An Lushan and Li Heng don't have to fight each other, they can just attack me together.
Do you think of me as a living target for the rebels?"
[Hahaha, I'm dying of laughter. But it's true that in ancient times, rebellion required a legitimate reason. This was incredibly important!]
Look at An Lushan's campaign to purge the court of corrupt officials, and didn't Li Yuan, upon ascending to power, also support the young Sui emperor? Although he later died inexplicably, we can't make random comments.
[And the most important thing is that in ancient times, filial piety was more important than heaven, and the first priority of the imperial examination system was to select filial and honest people!
A father can kill his son, but a son must never disobey his father, otherwise he will be condemned by the world and become the target of everyone's attack!
[So Erfeng himself didn't care about what others wrote about him killing his brothers, but he definitely didn't dare to say directly that he controlled Li Yuan.
So Li Yuan inexplicably couldn't get on or off the cruise ship that day, hahaha!
And after he ascended the throne, didn't he bring Li Yuan up many times, proving that their father-son relationship was still very good? Isn't it true that fathers are kind and sons are filial in the Tang Dynasty?
"So what should we do? Er Feng, please come up with a plan! Are you still counting on us, the stupid modern college students, to give you advice?"
Of course, we can't expect modern people who can't survive half a day in the ancient palace. Li Shimin smiled mysteriously and said nothing. He just watched them anxiously.
After attending the banquet as usual, he immediately asked people to collect expensive jewelry, gold calligraphy and paintings, and then personally delivered them to Yu Chaoen's house.
When he entered the palace, Li Shimin saw Yu Chaoen walking towards him from afar. She was wearing white powder and had a sissy look on her face. He sighed heavily.
He really didn't want to say a word to such a villain.
If it were when he was in his early twenties and was full of integrity, he would have been sneered at and ridiculed.
[So, Li Shimin, who was once an emperor and was reborn, is no longer the naive and innocent Erfeng of the past, but is now Nianhulu Shimin! ]
Li Shimin didn’t quite understand what “Niuhulu” meant, but it sounded quite interesting?
After Li Shimin was brought into Yu Mansion, he quickly exchanged greetings and explained his purpose.
The position of crown prince is now certain to belong to Li Yu, but if Li Yu ascends the throne, what benefits will Yu Chaoen get?
It would be better to find someone else to assist in taking the throne. In this way, Yu Chaoen would be considered a loyal follower of the emperor and a great meritorious official, and would naturally be relied upon by the next emperor.
"Your Excellency is highly regarded by the Emperor, but I heard that Master Cheng immediately seized the military power of the Shen Ce Army that Your Excellency had previously commanded.
The Imperial Guards are all under his control, and he has been quite powerful lately."
Hearing this, Yu Chaoen did not speak immediately. Instead, he drank a whole cup of tea in deep thought. Then, in a sissy tone, he raised his orchid finger and said:
"Your Highness, Prince Yan, you are quite ambitious!"
"Since the founding of the Tang Dynasty, no eldest son has ever successfully become emperor. As a prince, I naturally have to be a little ambitious, don't I?"
[Hahahaha, I'm dying of laughter, Li Erfeng, how dare you say this!
Who is to blame for this? You really set a good example for your descendants!
Who can he blame? He can only blame God for not making him the eldest son in the family.
In this matter, Li Yuan, his father and his son should each share the responsibility in half.
The hypocritical flattery between Li Shimin and Yu Chaoen basically shows that they are the same kind of people, ambitious speculators, and it is best for them to support each other.
After saying this, Li Shimin cursed himself in his heart for being too much of a Niu Hulu, but then he had to continue:
"Even Grandfather Taizu, Emperor Taizong Wen, used Zhang Anan, a eunuch who had served as a loyal follower, didn't he?
What's more, the Li Tang royal family is now facing a crisis, and there are not many people like Eunuch Yu who are wholeheartedly concerned about the interests of the Tang Dynasty.
Cheng Fuguo is nothing more than a villain who sows discord. I think only Eunuch Yu can be of great use in this government."
[Fuck, hahahaha, His Majesty Li Shimin even brought up his own example, hahahaha! He used himself as an example and called himself grandpa!
Erfeng is being shameless today! 】
[But Zhang Anan followed Li Shimin to fight on the battlefield, so it was right for His Majesty Erfeng to reward and confer a title on him.
Zhang Anan never held central power, but only managed the palace and the imperial guards, which was completely different from the eunuchs who held power in the middle and late Tang Dynasty.
[No matter! Didn’t Li Heng and Li Longji always use Emperor Taizong as an example whenever they used eunuchs?
They can all give examples, so why can't we, Erfeng, give our own examples?]
[Hahaha, these descendants are shameless, even trying to put the golden signboard of Emperor Taizong on their faces. What do you think, Erfeng?]
After Li Shimin said this, he felt disgusted by himself.
My feeling is to keep a heavy account and wait to beat these two bastards to death later!
Fortunately, the little cuties at Tianmu were very good at livening up the atmosphere and quickly changed the subject to prevent Erfeng from getting so angry that she couldn't eat:
[Will Yu Chaoen agree? This kind of villain seems so unreliable.]
"It's precisely because Yu Chaoen is such a power-hungry villain that he'll definitely fall into the trap I set."
This kind of person cannot see the country and long-term interests, but only sees the immediate and tangible benefits. Therefore, as long as he casts a hook and makes a promise, Yu Chaoen will definitely take the bait.
Although Yu Chaoen had Li Heng's trust at this time, as the saying goes, a new emperor appoints new ministers. This kind of villain is most afraid of being liquidated if he loses power. After all, Li Linfu's end is right in front of him.
[So what's next? Are we just going to wait for Yu Chaoen to speak well of Li Heng, so that Erfeng can continue to lead the troops into battle?]
"Of course not."
If Yu Chaoen spoke too clearly and touched Li Heng's sore spot, Li Heng would definitely become suspicious.
Yu Chaoen was a smart man and knew Li Heng's thoughts. This time, Li Heng would definitely not use Li Shimin in such a great military achievement as recovering the capital Chang'an, and would allow him to surpass his master in achievement.
"So what do we do now? Are we just going to sit there and watch?"
Of course not.
Since he had become a leisurely prince, Li Shimin naturally wanted to be the Prince of Taiyuan again.
His new father rewarded him with so many good things. He picked and chose, and chose a lot of beautiful jewelry for his wife. He even went to personally put hairpins on his wife's head.
Now that they are an engaged couple, no matter how much his father-in-law glares at him, he can still visit openly and show his love to his beloved wife by wearing flowers in his hair.
[……… Ahhh, I was just worried about Erfeng, and Erfeng, you are just showing off your love!
It's like cold dog food is suddenly poured into my mouth! 】
[It's really not the Emperor's fault that he's so anxious. We're all so worried. Er Feng, can you please think of a solution quickly?]
[…So angry! I really want to hit him, but I can’t!]
Woohoo, I'm so pissed off I'm a single dog! 】
The more anxious the audience became, the more Li Shimin deliberately teased them and performed sweet romance stories with his own Guanyin maid.
It was not until late at night that Wei Shu and the audience outside, who were as anxious as ants on the hot pan, could no longer sit still, and Li Shimin finally returned to his mansion leisurely.
After drawing energy and good mood from his wife, Li Shimin waved his hand and started to post a job opening:
"I heard you guys talking about marketing water armies last time. You modern people seem to be very good at this, right?
Then I will recruit 20 people to be my marketing water army, can you do it?"
[What? Can being a water army earn me Er Feng's salary? I have to do it!]
[Erfeng, just wait and see, we modern people have an extraordinary ability to create hype on the Internet!
Tell me, do you want us to help you promote 'The Rise of the Tang Dynasty, the Two Phoenix Kings', or 'Slaying the White Snake, Emperor Taizong Appears', or simply put on a drone phoenix show to promote the legitimacy of your claim to the throne?
"No, no, no, it's not our turn yet."
Li Shimin was simply shocked by the imagination of modern people, but he touched his chin and thought that the drone phoenix show sounded quite impressive.
How about having one when you ascend the throne?
However, the most urgent task is to deal with the current rebels and alleviate the critical situation in Chang'an City:
"I want you to go to the rebels in Tongguan and spread the news that An Lushan has gone blind."
Li Shimin had heard from Tianmu before that according to the original history, An Lushan suddenly became blind a year after he proclaimed himself emperor and captured Chang'an. He was particularly fond of his youngest son, which led to An Qingxu and Li Zhuer joining forces to kill him.
[So that's how it is. Don't worry, we, the navy, are very familiar with this kind of thing!]
I suggest Er Feng find an entertainment industry agent or something like that; they're great at building hype and buying trending searches for marketing!
Sure enough, the nearly twenty people that Li Shimin asked the system to screen out seemed to be engaged in the entertainment industry.
Unfortunately, he did not see these dozens of people because they were directly assigned to the rebels' sphere of influence near Tongguan.
However, he could still roughly understand the dynamics of his new employees through Tianmu's retelling.
As one of the gold medal agents in the entertainment industry, Jinwen was very excited to receive this kind of task for the first time.
In the past, I was criticized every time I bought trending searches, but this time I actually received praise for my marketing promotion?
She rubbed her hands and immediately found a crowded place and shouted on the loudspeaker:
“You really can’t eat too much, because if you do, you’ll shock everyone!
An Lushan recently ate five meals a day, six pigs, and seven sheep. As a result of eating too much meat, he bled from all seven orifices and became blind!
"How dare you! How dare you address the Emperor Yan by his name? Drag him out and chop him off!"
Jinwen died before he could spread the rumor, and he squatted at the "resurrection point" in frustration.
However, others soon learned from her experience and became smarter, starting to use homophones instead.
"I heard there's a formidable general in Tongguan who conquered Luoyang with his unstoppable victory. Do you know who he is?
He's been sleeping with men every day lately, and he didn't even let my third uncle go! What? Impossible?
Think about it, wouldn't you be tired of sleeping with so many women every day? Are you looking for something new and exciting to try?
There's no fun in being a man, right? Guess who he's slept with?"
"Alas, back then Emperor Taizong slept with his brother's wife, but now some people are sleeping with their own sons and younger brothers. It is said that the man surnamed Shi took the initiative to surrender to the Prince of Yan because he couldn't stand being pressed on the couch by his eldest brother every day!
I don’t know if it’s true or not, I’m not responsible.”
"Hush, someone could have turned the wheel, but sleeping with a man has caused kidney deficiency!
Then someone went to buy tonic to nourish his kidneys, but was cheated by the old Taoist priest. After taking the medicine, he was poisoned and became blind!
I didn't say who it was, so don't make wild guesses! "
"My relative is a eunuch and has exclusive insider information! Why should I tell you?
Okay, since you insist on hitting me, I'll tell you in secret.
Someone is now very irritable because he is blind. If you work around him, please be careful, don't talk too much, and do less to avoid mistakes.
We ordinary people just want to be safe and get paid. Buddy, I’ve only told you this, don’t tell anyone else.”
It turns out that the more you tell others not to tell, the faster the rumor spreads.
Soon, the news that An Lushan was blind and that she had slept with 108 Liangshan men and arranged the seats in her harem spread throughout Tongguan and Luoyang.
This story is very well-written, as the 108 men of Liangshan all have names and surnames! They even have personal stories and family backgrounds, so it's obvious they're not made up!
Of course, there is also the romantic affair of Emperor Taizong sleeping with his brother's wife, but this kind of thing has been written very clearly in history books, and everyone has known it since childhood, so the fresh melon is more attractive.
Li Shimin: ……… Is this how you take my money to do things?
"Ah, we workers can definitely do it anyway. As for how we do it, boss, don't worry about it!"
Li Shimin was at a loss whether to laugh or cry, and when An Lushan finally heard the rumor, he realized that it had spread throughout the city.
Even in the army, people were whispering that he was homosexual.
"Who is ruining my reputation? I'm not blind!
I like women! Women! "
After hearing this, An Lushan became furious and his temper became even more violent.
When he saw people lowering their heads and not looking at him, he thought that person was whispering and mocking him behind his back, so he became more harsh on his servants and killed dozens of guards.
Perhaps it was due to his bad temper, liver qi stagnation and inflammation, coupled with his existing chronic illness. As luck would have it, An Lushan really went blind a few days later.
Tianmu didn't even need to tell Li Shimin about this. As a general who left his name in history, who wouldn't plant a few spies in the enemy army?
After Li Shimin learned about this, he clapped his hands and laughed:
"It seems my luck has always been good."
【Ahhh, rub against Erfeng, the European Emperor, hug him and suck! 】
[Wow, it's all good now! The hexagonal warrior has added a luck buff aura, so it's now a heptagon! Look at me, I lost three hundred on a scratch-off ticket yesterday!]
[Inhale, inhale, inhale, receive good luck, worship one and two phoenixes, pray for wealth, wealth will come from all directions! ]
[Go, go, go, go, pray to the God of Wealth, no, pray to Erfeng to bless me with wealth! ]
Soon, all the messages on the screen turned into requests for wealth and good luck. Li Shimin was dazzled by the sight. He touched his nose speechlessly and then continued to issue the second task to the navy:
“Actually, I didn’t expect him to actually go blind, so this is even more advantageous for us.
This time, it was said that after he became blind, he wanted to pass the throne to his favorite youngest son, so he wanted to kill his eldest son An Qingxu.
[Wow, His Majesty Li Shimin is truly a master of black! Erfeng, you're not a phoenix, you're a fox, right?]
[That's perfect, vixens make it easier to sleep. Hehehe, I just like the scheming male fox type! Slurp!]
[Newcomer's daily check-in for Erfeng! Enthusiasts can join the group here, group number! @#￥％％…………&]
Li Shimin: What is this???
What's wrong with modern people? Don't come to him for all your wishes!
Is he some kind of multifunctional toy? We have to kneel down and pray for wealth, and we also want his body? Even if he were a true god, he wouldn't let you modern people go through so much trouble!
Li Shimin really couldn't understand the mental state of modern people, but he was a little worried about whether this group of water army would fail.
After all, with the lesson from last time, the An Lushan rebels will definitely investigate the rumormongers strictly, and it will not be so easy to spread rumors this time.
However, how can the marketing tactics of the ancients outperform the battle-hardened modern internet trolls?
"Everyone listen to me, I'm not spreading rumors, I'm here to dispel them!
How could our Emperor Yan possibly like men? He only likes women! He’s a straight man!
Since it was just a rumor, no one reported him. When the officers and soldiers passed by, they heard it and thought it was nothing wrong, so they let these people continue to talk:
"That's right, do you know why our Emperor Yan dotes on his youngest son? That's because our Emperor Yan is only in love with the little prince's mother, Madam Duan.
In fact, a few years ago, this woman was his stepmother! Later, she became the sister-in-law of our Emperor Yan!
Originally, they were a match made in heaven, but unfortunately fate played tricks on them..."
Soon, modern marketing accounts brought out the story of abusive love crematorium to create hate-stepmother literature, making An Lushan and his concubine break up and get back together, and go through all kinds of exciting twists and turns of stepmother-uncle-sister-in-law affairs before they finally got together.
Where had the people of the Tang Dynasty ever heard of such a novel and touching story of immoral love?
For a moment, everyone could be heard to be very emotional, and some even couldn't help crying.
"My dear, please don't cry yet. As the saying goes, a wife is not as good as a stepmother, so our Emperor Yan wants to depose the eldest son and enthronize the youngest son!
I heard that recently one of the eldest sons is planning to join forces with the closest eunuch to Emperor Yan, intending to rebel and kill his father!
Ahem, no one heard the latter part! We are just here to dispel rumors, buddy, please promise not to spread it! Please don’t hurt me! "
How could such wonderful stepmother literature not be spread?
However, before An Lushan learned of this new rumor, An Qingxu and Li Zhuer, the patricide and eunuch in the rumor, knew about it first and directly implicated themselves.
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