Chapter 29 Li Longji: What kind of infinite escape dungeon game is this?
[Fuck, there's such a good thing? Erfeng, if you say that, we won't be sleepy anymore!]
[This kind of service is a must. What kind of work haven’t we done as errand runners?
I, Meituan errand runner, one-click Didi hailing! Erfeng, you deserve it!
"You guys really have a business of playing for your grandson?"
[Um, I didn't take that one. Generally speaking, hitting someone is against the law here.]
However, we at Meituan can run errands for people to curse, get married, send gifts on behalf of others, and even catch people cheating... In short, we are very skilled in running errands and providing various services!
I've been taking orders for many years and running for many years, and I've received five-star reviews! You can't go wrong choosing me! 】
These modern people can really think of any way to make money.
You know what, it’s really convenient.
After hearing this, Li Shimin also became interested and immediately wanted to recruit a dozen Didi substitutes to help beat up Li Longji, who asked him to clean up the mess every day!
But when he was about to add the recruitment information, Li Shimin paused and asked:
"Wait, are there any imperial guards around Li Longji? Can you break through the imperial guards and get to him, and even beat him up?"
The way that group of modern people were fighting in front of him not long ago made Li Shimin feel that this task was even more difficult than climbing to the sky for modern people.
"What's so hard about reaching the sky? We've even reached outer space. This is just a small challenge. We can overcome it with just a little effort!"
[That's right, what era is this? We've already flown to the moon, but can't we even beat up Emperor Xuanzong?]
Are these descendants so powerful?
Then Li Shimin couldn't help but ask curiously:
"What are you going to do?"
[Simple, watch me roll up my sleeves and slide towards the Imperial Guards!]
Then another slide, and another slide, ten thousand and eighty-six slides in a row!]
Our group rushed forward and kept sliding. According to probability theory, if we did it enough times, the other team would make a mistake. We would always have one successful sliding tackle!
Then we can rush in and beat up Li Longji! 】
Li Shimin: ...
Forget it, can he still expect a group of modern people who have never fought to defeat Chen Xuanli's imperial guards?
They may not even be able to defeat Li Longji!
[Don’t underestimate us modern people!
Although we don’t have that much martial virtue, well, we don’t have any martial virtue at all. But we modern people can go crazy!
If we can't torture him physically, we can torture him mentally. With the mental state of modern people, we can definitely drive Li Longji crazy!
[Let's create a large-scale modeling dream within a dream, and then create a terrifying infinite game in the dream to torture him!
For example, the boss of the first level is Yang Yuhuan, the boss of the second level is his three sons killed, and when he finally clears the third level, the boss of the final level is Emperor Taizong Li Shimin!
[Wow, this is Li Longji's infinite level-breaking horror game, I like it!
Develop it quickly, I will definitely be the first to recharge! 】
I didn't quite understand it, but it seemed quite interesting. Does it seem plausible?
So, based on everyone's suggestions, Li Shimin recruited an infinite game modeling team and art planner, a total of ten people to provide this proxy service.
[Fuck, hahahaha, I just got off work and I'm not sleepy at all now. This is the first time I've taken the initiative to work a night shift!]
Who isn't? Working overtime for Er Feng is so motivating!
I'm full of resentment at the 996 work schedule at work, but I'm happy when I give Boss Erfeng 007!
[Erfeng, wait for us! Give us an hour and we'll help you beat up and torture Li Longji!]
Li Shimin felt relieved after hearing everyone say this. He could finally sleep soundly and wait for everyone to report the situation tomorrow.
Li Shimin fell asleep peacefully, but the seventy-year-old Li Longji did not sleep so well.
The elderly are prone to insomnia, going to bed late and getting up early. On top of that, he also knew about the bad things that Prince Yong Li Lin had done, and his mood was even worse!
Li Lin looks honest and simple on weekdays, but I didn't expect him to be so stupid!
When Li Longji thought about how he had secretly planned to set up a second small court, but because of the idiot Li Lin, Li Heng took the opportunity to raise the banner and completely failed, he wanted to kill this useless son.
Li Heng had occupied Chang'an for a long time, and there was no way he could make a comeback after returning. Thinking of this, Li Longji fell asleep in frustration.
However, soon he suddenly found himself as if he had returned to the Tianbao period, when he was still the emperor.
He was surrounded by ministers and palace maids who were trying to please him. On the plate were lychees that had been shipped from Lingnan at full speed. I don't know how many horses had died before they arrived.
But before he could happily pick up a lychee, Gao Lishi's head suddenly fell off, followed by the heads of the palace maids and guards!
Everyone had a devilish face, with their tongues stretched out long, their faces pale, and their teeth sharp, poking straight into his neck.
"Your Majesty, I have served you with great service. Please allow me to have a sip! Hahaha, your blood must taste delicious. It must taste like lychee, right? Hehe."
Suddenly, everyone turned into ugly and scary monsters, and Li Longji was so scared that he ran away.
He quickly ran to Yang Guifei's room. As soon as he closed the door, he saw his concubine looking at him with tears in her eyes.
"My beloved, I finally see you! My beloved, you must still be thinking about me, right? I also think about you day and night!
They forced me to kill you! My beloved, you really do want to see me!"
Li Longji was very excited, and Yang Yuhuan quickly threw herself into his arms, then coquettishly punched his chest with her little fist.
However, the force of this punch sent him flying into the sky and then falling back down.
His concubine was still as beautiful as ever, but the terrifying power made it impossible for Li Longji to escape!
Yang Guifei grabbed his belt with one hand and held him tightly in her hand. While shyly shouting "die", she punched him harder and harder, making him spit out blood.
With one last kick, he stepped on the ground, breaking three of his ribs, and then he used his belt to tightly wrap around his neck!
The usually gentle woman's eyes were filled with ferocious resentment:
"I'll let you dethrone me from my position as princess, and force me to marry into the palace!
You always say you love me, but in the end you let me take the blame and hang me!
I miss you, Li Longji! I think about you day and night, just wanting you to be hanged in front of me over and over again!
Li Longji was so scared that he took his sword to chop her, but the sword broke as soon as it touched Yang Guifei's body!
Li Longji was so scared that he screamed and struggled to escape, but was hung directly on the beam. When he was about to be hanged to death, he was released to take a breath, and then continued to hang.
“Help… Help, save me!”
"I was wrong, I was wrong! Please let me go! Someone, come and save me!"
It was the first time that Li Longji realized that being hanged for just a few minutes could be so painful.
He kept struggling and shouting desperately. Soon, the imperial guards outside came in. However, the imperial guards led by Chen Xuanli had all turned into vampire zombies at this time. They were pulling at his legs and gnawing on his flesh.
This must be a dream, no, why can't I wake up! Is this the eighteen levels of hell?
Li Longji was tortured half to death and begged for mercy repeatedly.
The scene suddenly changed. He was stripped of his bright yellow imperial attire and thrown into Xiangji Temple wearing tattered clothes.
However, before he could reveal his identity, a group of rebel soldiers suddenly rushed over, shouting and killing. He was pushed down and crawled on the ground, but was trampled and stabbed countless times.
The bloody remains of others' severed ears and fallen eyes clung to his body. They grew heavier and heavier, like a mountain of mass graves, pressing him to the ground, making it difficult for him to even turn over.
"Ahhh, help, help!"
The first time, Li Longji was hanged; the second time, Li Longji was cut into pieces on the battlefield.
The third time, Li Longji became a grassroots commoner, working hard to farm and harvest crops, but his food was repeatedly stolen and looted by the Uighurs, rebels, and Tang soldiers, and he eventually starved to death.
I don’t know how long it took, it seemed like a hundred years, Li Longji was sweating all over, his eyes numb from torture, when he suddenly returned to the court.
He ran forward in surprise and pushed open the palace door, but what he saw was his ancestor Emperor Taizong Wen holding a sword and staring at him coldly!
"And then, and then!"
When Li Shimin heard everyone describing what happened last night, he found it more and more exciting and slapped his thigh with joy.
These modern people can sometimes really do things to the extreme!
[Then the sun rises, my part-time job ends, and it's time for me to go to work...]
Li Shimin: ...
[Haha, take a screenshot of Erfeng's speechless expression! Get the emoticon pack!]
Actually, it wasn't that. It was daybreak, and Li Longji woke up too early, so he didn't have time to experience the final boss level! What a pity!
It’s okay, we’ll continue tonight! Do you have any other ideas for us to plan?
I didn't expect that torturing people is such a brain-intensive and technical job! 】
[Let me do it, let me do it! I want to play the NPC! I’m Li Heng!]
[Then I will be the Queen and Consort Wu Huifei who were killed by him, as well as his three good-looking sons!
Yes, yes, yes, and me too. I'm going to play Empress Wu Zetian, and Princess Taiping! Everyone plays someone he kills, I guarantee it'll scare him to death!]
[I am different. I want to play His Majesty Erfeng! ]
[I thought, oh my god, I almost forgot about this!]
[This is over. What should I do if everyone wants to play Er Feng? Forget it, let's all play together and beat him up together!]
Li Shimin: ???
But honestly, it’s pretty cool to think about.
So Li Shimin continued on his journey with his 10,000 troops while watching these modern people discuss how to mentally torture Li Longji.
Along the way, wherever Li Shimin looked, he saw that the people plowing the fields were all thin old people and children. The young laborers must have been conscripted into the army.
When it came to the Jianghuai area, although the war had less impact and the situation was relatively better, the people were starving and emaciated due to high taxes.
[Alas, during war, the people suffer the most! How pitiful.]
You say fighting on the front lines, where do the military rations come from, where do the soldiers' wages come from? Isn't it just that the people have to suffer time and again!]
[Historically, it seems that at this time, because the treasury was empty, a minister named Diwu Qi, who was particularly capable in finance, emerged. What was his solution? The Salt Official Camp!
He raised the price of salt tenfold, making it incredibly high! But the people had to buy it because they couldn't live without it!
Salt and iron were state-run in the Han Dynasty, but after the Tang Dynasty, Li Shimin no longer implemented this system. Grain prices were very stable, and the people could afford rice and salt.
[So it really depends on the emperor. Look at when Erfeng was in power, there were locust plagues, droughts, pestilences, earthquakes and floods one after another, but he was still able to maintain the price of rice at three cents per dou. In the wealthy areas of Jianghuai, it was even at one or two cents per dou!
Look at the time when Li Heng was in power. He issued new currency twice in succession, which led to inflation and rapid price increases. A dou of rice even cost thousands of coins!
The most exaggerated record is one dou of rice for seven thousand coins!
As for salt, the price went from ten coins per bushel to one hundred and ten coins per bushel! Just imagine how worthless the money in your hand is!
The money I earn in a year can’t even buy a bushel of rice! 】
[Oh my God, this reminds me of the prices in Russia when the Russian Empire collapsed. That was a disaster!
If this is the case even now, how much more so in ancient times! Back then, people could only eat dirt. How many people starved to death!]
Yes, sometimes the impact of natural disasters is far less than that of man-made disasters.
Li Shimin felt very uncomfortable when he saw the people of the Tang Dynasty suffering.
When we think about the time when the war just started, even the child of Du Fu, a minor official of the ninth rank, starved to death. We wonder how many people would be tortured to death in this disaster?
This chaos must be ended as soon as possible.
Li Shimin sped up the march, but horses and carriages were no match for modern airplanes, and even if he was in a hurry, it would still take several days to arrive.
Everyone in Tianmu asked him if he wanted to include Li Heng in the Didi driving service in the evening?
Anyway, I will beat one grandson anyway, and I will beat two grandsons anyway. It is more economical to beat one more grandson. Buy one, get one free!
"Let's forget it for now. If we beat Li Heng into a trance now, I'm afraid he'll start to think crazy again."
Li Shimin is really afraid that these descendants will use their brains. Whenever they come up with an idea, he will have to clean up their mess.
"It's better to wait until he's crippled before you torture him."
[That's fine too. Then we'll consider the fight against Li Longji as our internal testing. Next time we torture Li Heng, our skills will be more mature!]
[Hahaha, god-like, more mature! Wait, where's my mace?
Tonight I will make Li Longji kneel down and call me grandpa!
Soon, when Li Shimin woke up the next day, he received everyone's new report.
"We had ten Taizongs standing in a row last night! Li Longji was so frightened that he fell to his knees, crying and yelling, 'Grandpa!' He completely broke down!"
Then we picked up our maces and all ten of us went up to beat him up!]
Li Shimin thought about that scene. Even if modern people are not good at fighting, ten people against one person can beat the person into a pulp!
It's a pity that this was just mental torture. When Li Longji woke up during the day, he was fine physically.
[It's okay. Li Longji is so scared when he sees the people around him, including Chen Xuanli. He's afraid that they are ghosts at night and he can hardly tell them apart. Hahaha.
But the torture on the body will have to wait until Er Feng arrives in person! I'll help pass on the tools then!
[By the way, I checked a few days ago and suddenly found out that Huangfu Quan, who originally helped Li Heng to quell the Yongwang Rebellion, was demoted by Emperor Suzong of Tang after he killed Yongwang!
This is really bad luck! What kind of boss is this! You're the one who made me do the work, but you're the one who made me take the blame?
[This job is really thankless, and I am not popular with either side!
Li Heng is such a lousy boss, anyone who works for him will be in trouble!
Who says it’s not?
Li Shimin could probably guess what Li Heng was thinking. He probably thought Li Heng had made too many contributions, so he threw all the hard work on him. In the end, no matter whether he succeeded or not, he would be blamed.
This new dad is really like the new generation pushing the old generation forward, and one dad is better than the previous one!
"So, Master Erfeng, what should we do now? Killing Prince Yong is wrong, but not killing him is also wrong."
[If I were given this job, I would be so worried that my hair would fall out in clumps!
Just looking at Erfeng makes me feel so miserable I'm going bald!
Li Shimin was in a good mood and still looked confident.
At this time, he had led his troops to the outskirts of Jiangling City, where Prince Yong was stationed. However, he was not in a hurry to attack, but instead let his troops stay there.
Then he rode alone to the front of Jiangling City and strolled around the city in the name of the King of Yan leading troops to quell the rebellion.
At this time, Prince Yong had already realized that something was wrong and rebelled against the court. However, when the soldiers stationed in the city saw that it was the famous Prince Yan, who had defeated the enemy with a small number of troops and had beheaded many powerful generals in succession, none of them dared to act on their own.
They didn't even dare to shoot him with an arrow. They could only report to Prince Yong first.
The naive Prince Yong didn't know what to do. He hesitated and was in a dilemma, not even saying a word to the soldiers.
So the soldiers watched Li Shimin turn around in front of them, shoot another arrow at the city wall, and then leave in a swagger.
This action not only confused the enemy, but also our own people couldn't understand it.
[Wow, I suddenly remembered that time when Li Shimin left the city alone to negotiate with the Turks! I, Erfeng, am so awesome! Who else?!]
[Something is wrong. According to Emperor Taizong's consistent strategy, every action he takes always has a purpose.
This can't just be a show of 'Look, I'm coming' for Prince Yong, right?]
[Is this to create pressure and force Prince Yong to surrender?
Indeed, both sides are Tang troops, so if they fight, wouldn't the casualties be our own? It would be best if we could defeat the enemy without fighting.
But Prince Yong isn't stupid. He's either going to die or not, so he might as well resist and see if he can survive.
Everyone asked Li Shimin what he was going to do, but Li Shimin hid it and didn't say anything. He deliberately watched a group of little cuties scratching their heads anxiously, and then asked:
"I see you modern people say you once flew into the sky. Does that mean you can also cross the ocean?"
[Of course! Our Chinese products are shipped to every continent in the world by sea!]
[First, let me explain. The continents are the seven continents on Earth. For example, the current continental pastor of Asia is our Erfeng.
Later, Zheng He of the Ming Dynasty made his greatest contribution during his voyages to the West, bringing back various plant seeds from other continents, especially potatoes and corn, which had very high yields per mu!
So that's why modern people are able to escape farming. This time, perhaps there will be a surprise!
After dark in the evening, Li Shimin rode his horse alone and quietly entered Jiangling City.
The other party seemed to know that he was going to enter the city, and quietly opened a small door to let him in.
What's going on? I'm so confused. When did they discuss this?
Li Shimin then explained that the arrow he shot during the day actually had a note tied to it, asking Prince Yong to meet at Qujiang Tower in the city.
Sure enough, when Li Shimin arrived, Prince Yong Li Lin had already prepared a banquet waiting for him.
Rows of soldiers, all wearing helmets and armor and holding weapons, exuded a murderous aura. But Li Shimin showed no fear. After dismounting, he calmly walked up to the pavilion to attend the banquet, flanked by hundreds of soldiers.
"Ahhh, Erfeng, you're so brave! You just ran in here alone? What if they want to kill you?"
[No, Fengfeng, we should at least bring two people! You're so bold!]
Prince Yong wouldn't really take Li Shimin hostage in a fit of rage, would he?]
[Ahh, what should I do? This atmosphere is making me so nervous, I can't even breathe!]
When Prince Yong Li Lin saw that Li Shimin dared to attend the banquet alone, he sighed in his heart, then stood up to greet him and called him "Imperial nephew".
When Li Shimin heard this title when he sat down, his expression paused. He was very reluctant, but he still had to call this naive grandson "Imperial Uncle".
Li Shimin sat down with a heavy heart after he finished shouting. Li Lin personally poured him a glass of wine. As soon as Li Shimin picked up the glass, Li Lin said to him:
"My nephew is truly courageous, not many people can match him. Aren't you afraid that I might poison this wine?"
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